12 Steps To Removing Judgement

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Ok, here it is as we promised the 12 step  clearing process from our radio show on Monday evening, ‘Moving Beyond… Judgment.’

 “It is impossible to experience the world as it is, while you are judging it.” ― Gary Rudz


1. Ask yourself what is going on. What is the pattern. For example: I can’t stand this person, or any scenario that specifically triggers you.

2. Once you acknowledge what is taking place, go into the emotion and give yourself the permission to feel it fully and completely. For example: feel the bitterness, anger, annoyance, resentment or pain.

3. Once you have allowed yourself to feel the emotion to the max, take a few deep breaths and send it in a holding pattern above you. Just see it come out of you, simply observe it above you. Release its energetic charge and feel what has left you – the burning and the heaviness.

4. Notice if you feel any pain or strong discomfort associated with the emotion in an area of your body. If so, send love and light to the areas of your body where you feel it. Don’t get your mind engaged with the process, the body will take care of it.

5. Ask yourself where is this emotion coming from? Example: What is the reason I judge this person or that situation. What is it about it that triggers me? Is it tied to a memory of my past? If a memory, person, emotion, or thought process shows up, go right into it.

6. Ask who or what you judge to be brought to your awareness. Example: A friend, dad, mom, teacher, the government, an earlier version of yourself, or a situation such as being ridiculed)

7. See him/her/you in front of you, or see the situation you judge happening to you. Ask to receive clarity on the issue. For example: Why was he/she acting this way? Why did I loose my job? Why did he/she leave me?

8. At that point it is for you to realize that this was the experience of that time based on the level of consciousness of yourself, the people around you, as well as the agreement between souls to create an experience that would allow growth for all involved.

You will receive answers such as: My dad did not know better at the time. My boyfriend did this to me to bring my insecurities to my awareness. He/She was acting this way because of his emotional baggage. This happened to me so I could learn to let go of certain belief systems, insecurities, identities etc.

9. Ask your soul, “Do I still need to hold on to this experience, this emotional, response, this judgement?”

You will feel the answer.

If you are not ready to release it, ask for further clarification: “What is still keeping me from letting go and moving on?” After you have addressed it, ask again, “Am I ready to let this go?” Keep repeating until you feel clear.

10. Once you feel ready to let go, call out all the different beliefs and patterns you had that perpetuated your judgements. Example: I release all of the following beliefs and patterns: We are separate, we need to compare ourselves to others, we need to compete, we need to judge to feel on track, we need to take other’s judgements personally, we need to feel like victims of life, we can make mistakes etc. Stating them will allow you to fully observe them for what they are: Just a story, just an experience that you no longer need to play with.

11. Now release those beliefs and patterns to the sun which will repolarize them back to pure love and potentiality.

12. Take a deep breath and state to yourself your newfound understanding. Example: I am one with my friend, my dad, my mom, my teacher, the government, with everything that is. But we all walk different paths and play different roles for one another to help us grow, learn the lessons we need to learn, and further discover who we truly are. Judgement is an illusion.

You can practice this clearing process with any issues that you are faced with! Try it out and see what comes up!

If you missed our show about moving beyond judgement, you can still listen to the archive by following this link


Much Love,

Elina & Alanna

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More From 'Consciousness'

CE provides a space for free thinkers to explore and discuss new, alternative information and ideas. The goal? Question everything, think differently, spread love and live a joy filled life.

  1. testing

  2. Yvonne

    I don’t understand how realeasing judgement without verifying your beliefs against those issues that are bothering you is possible. What if what the person you felt conflict towards was morally wrong and they continued to act this way. How would this apply, would I then be in the wrong for not speaking to the person any longer. I might be missing what this means exactly,why should a person continue in a relationship with another if it is not beneficial for both parties. Just because I imagine what the other person is saying doesn’t mean that, that is how they feel or that the problem will be solved. Looking forward to your response.

    • Elvelin

      To forgive does not mean forget. It means to mindfully live through the situation If something happens to you once or twice, it means you need to learn a lesson or repeat the first one. If it happens continuously, over and over again, means you not only haven’t learned the lesson, but also got yourself into a pattern, a circle and you need to get out and start over. And here comes the most important part- Start Over is being mistaken for leaving your boyfriend/husband, changing your job, taking a trip, move to another city, which is wrong. Because, changing only the circumstances and surroundings is not going to change you. It is only going to give you a new place to build up your pattern and keep circling. Changing yourself,changing the pattern is the key. In this case a trip might be a good idea in order to take some time for yourself and remain alone with your own thoughts making a plan what to change, how to change it, when to change it.
      And here comes the most difficult part: you first need to EXclude before starting to INclude things.
      1. Get rid of all the thoughts with a negative element such as “don’t like”, “don’t want”, “don’t think”, “can’t do”. Include all those you want, wish, can, think, believe. Remember that if you start to include without having things excluded- you only double the layers. You need a new basis. Not a second layer over the old one.
      2. Exclude all the people in your life that have negative influence on you or evoke negative emotions and reactions. Yes, really! It’s not egoistic, it’s not selfish, it’s not mean, it’s not antisocial. You technically cannot be a giving and altruistic person if you are a mess and feel empty. Simple as. So get rid of all those acquaintances and relationship in which you feel upset, anxious, depressed, being used or whatever dis-balance you might be experiencing.
      Means: avoid contact with those people until you get ready to accept them without having them affecting you or your life. And yes, that does mean also family members! And yes, I did it myself. And I keep doing it.
      3. If your problems are mostly in your romantic relationships- you need some time with no relationship at all. And ask yourself: what is that you want from your partner; what is it what he does not do or can’t give you; what is what you miss in your relationships; is your partner the only person who could give it you? The last one is extremely important, because we are all used to believe that some one else should make us happy. Well, sorry to tell you, but there is no such thing. You can’t and may not hold anyone else responsible for your own reality but yourself. Happiness has the following cycle: IN > OUT > IN. You start to create happiness for yourself within yourself. So, create inside> put outside> get the reflection> feel it inside.
      4. Being able to live in peace with yourself is very important to your inner harmony and then for what you put out. Yes, I know some of you do live alone, have no relationship etc. and yet here’s a quick check if you really do live in harmony with yourselves: how many times per day do you call friends, family members just to talk? How many times per week you go out with friends, coworkers after work, got a gym-membership to meet new people?
      5. Socializing is good. But it is only socializing when you have something to give, to put out, to exchange. If you are still a mess and you try to socialize- it’s called Substitute! You’re looking for another human being to fulfill the emptiness you have inside. And we already agreed we may not hold anybody else responsible for our happiness and well-being.
      6. Make a plan. Start working on it. Repeat every day. Repetition teaches your subconsciousness and your subconsciousness reprograms your consciousness. It’s like a training- but instead your body you start training your mind consciousness first.

      And once again: yes I have already experienced everything I mentioned. So I know what I am talking about.

  3. Yvonne,
    In spirituality, the reason why we learn not to judge, and to instead be completely neutral is because of something called radical forgiveness. (Look up the book “Radical Forgiveness” if you want to know more) We believe that we all have souls and that our souls collaboratively planned our journey here on Earth before we came. That means that everything you have experienced, good things, bad things, ect… Every situation was planned by you before you came here. Each experience was planned out by you for the purpose of learning, evolving, growing and becoming a higher, more conscious being. If someone has done something bad to you, it is because you asked them to do so, to serve your higher purpose. It is because you knew what lessons you wanted to learn here. Everyone here is carrying out the way they planned. (yes, free will is possible, but a different subject entirely)
    Knowing this, nothing has been done TO you, or anyone else, but FOR you. For the purpose of helping you go higher. When you see it this way, there is nothing to forgive, but instead to thank. Everyone has their own plan for themselves. When you can see this, and learn from every situation, when you can say “thank you” for every “bad” thing, then you can transcend all the negativity and you go higher.

    • Hello achievinginnerwellness! I was wondering which book titled “Radical Forgiveness” you were referring to, as there are several. Thank you!

      Wonderful practice and article! Its so important to work through emotions and problems that present themselves, and when we face struggles head on, we often find ourselves somewhere beautiful on the other side.

      • Thank you for your interest! The boo I am referring to is by Colin Tipping. So worth reading!!

  4. If something doesn’t resonate with you, there is nothing wrong with removing it from your life. Whether it be a person or situation. Your work is to follow your joy. This is what takes you higher. But being non-judgmental can put you in a place where things that you do not necessarily agree with won’t bother you either. You can be neutral.

  5. This sounds vaguely familiar to Toltec Wisdom… Anyone interested in this kind of spiritual growth should definitley check out “The 4th Agreement” by don miguel Ruiz…all about this kind of stuff.. http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6596.The_Four_Agreements

  6. L-Man

    Sounds like Satanism

  7. R S N Murty

    It is nice for a spiritual seeker to abide by

  8. Moni

    Yvonne- From a Buddhist perspective (I was raised in the Theraveda tradition), we incorporate equanimity into all aspects of our daily life. Equanimity refers to the notion of looking at things without judgements – as such, things are neither good nor bad. What ends up happening (and it is not a “goal,” per se), is that we lessen the instances by which we create emotional suffering for ourselves.

    So to directly answer your question: releasing judgement in the case of a friend who in your eyes is behaving in a morally questionable way (and even that is a judgement – morals by whose standards?) allows you to look at the situation with more clarity than if you had applied filters (because that is what a judgement is – a filter). As such, when your mind is quiet, you may actually decide that maintaining this friendship is toxic, and that it makes the most sense to walk away from this person.

    Not assigning a value judgement to this person or the situation in this case actually helped you make the decision to cut them out of your life. In the same vein, that increased awareness might inspire you to maintain the friendship, and provide some reflection to your friend (who may not even know what they are doing “wrong”). There is no right or wrong answer – all that matters is that you listen to your heart without distractions.

    Not judging allows us Buddhists to approach life situations with evenhandedness and without the emotional distractions that end up creating emotional suffering.



  10. alan

    Just remind yourself to always have an empty mind, practice non-judgmentalism, practice assigning no meaning to things or people of any kinds, practice refraning from all the mental chatter people are used to having.

  11. alan

    scroll down facebook, scroll through youtube, scroll on twitter, take walks or car rides, you can practice what i have mentioned everywhere, practice not judging or forming opinions or giving meaning to things, especially labels

  12. Farah

    Many of your points resonated with me. I just wonder, though, if judgements are an illusion, how do we deal with the real, material consequences of that illusion? For example: rape, poverty, dictatorship, etc… it is necessary to draw conclusions, judgements if you will, in order to achieve the material aims that enable the standard of living that will allow me to sit here, comfortably, and contemplate my journey toward non-judgement. How do you engage in a politically meaningful life (by that, I mean the broader activism that helps others achieve the material equity we all enjoy) without drawing conclusions about what is right and wrong (not who is a good or bad person — entirely different). Isn’t tempered anger what draws many oppressed people to fight for their rights? When does neutrality become complacency? Should we not strive for a balance between the two? Or is such a thing not possible from your perspective?

  13. Alison

    I want to believe this so badly but I can’t wrap my head around consenting souls allowing victimization of children. Victimization that ruins entire lives. Victimization that doesn’t usually foster growth of consciousness.

  14. LAN!!!! awesome job outlining this Powerful, Excellent process, THK U!!!! Love U xoxo

  15. John

    I’d like to know what Farah asked as well, Stalin, hitler were wrong…. I feel they were in my heart… Is that the secret, feeling it, not thinking it? If that is the case, then nothing can be neutral in our heart, there still is a wrong and right, but it isn’t attached to our ego, we feel it, we aren’t told it by our manipulated mind that has been conditioned by our experience here… But seriously, if things in this world were neutral and there was no judgement, how could we “do the right thing” if there is no right thing… A mugging, a rape or a murder, could anyone not defend the victim because of neutrality???

  16. becca

    thanks all info us helpful, i think when we stop making judgements of our own selfs, the rest falls into place x


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