We’re Limiting Ourselves through Expectation


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Expectations or a preconceived idea of how we view the future whether it is moments from right now or years from now are always based on personal beliefs that we feel will provide us with a sense of power, control and wholeness within ourselves and the world. It can be expectations within a personal relationship or it can be with how things are unfolding across the planet, it’s relevant to any experience. Let’s take a look at how these beliefs are affecting us. What would happen if we were to let them go?

When we engage in expectation for anything, what tends to happen? Well firstly, it brings us out of the present moment. It clouds our viewpoint and doesn’t really allow us to appreciate what’s in front of us. It can create disappointment as well because we’re not at peace if things don’t go the way as planned. Even though we’re not at peace based on our beliefs, the situation is still always perfect as it allows us to move beyond the limitations of always feeling disappointed, fearful or just emotionally attached to whatever plays out.

When we detach from expectations, it opens up a space of opportunity for us to observe and release the need for external control as well as fear of not liking the outcome or the way things may possibly present. The paradox of this way of thinking is that if we do hold on to the need to control externally and do play with fear, we’re going to create experiences that show us these beliefs because they are limiting us internally. And this is the beauty of what is unfolding across the planet right now. We’re enduring a shift in consciousness that is allowing us to move beyond the old ways of doings things to experience a less limited way of life! When we’re limited internally, we project that consciousness outwards into our lives and the entire world and it affects how we experience everything whether it be mentally, physically and spiritually. The exciting part about this is that we’re not here to be limited anymore. I’m pretty sure that if everyone on the planet were to truly reflect on their lives, everyone would come to a feeling of wanting to be free and live without limitation. We’ve become great at playing a game of survival and separation for so long, but does it have to be this way any longer? Absolutely not!

Everything is always a choice and in letting go, we align with our true essence of flowing and dancing with life. There’s a grand power at work here that we’re all connected through and we’ve become disconnected from it in the sense that we’re holding on to stories in our minds that create veils over this knowing and this connection. We’ve buried our feelings and beliefs and the way society is designed, there’s so much fear and judgement towards one another and our experiences that it’s become very difficult to even just talk to each other and to really work on and move beyond our challenges together. Ironically, love and communication seem like a taboo thing in society in many ways.

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in our needs and wants, our fears, our beliefs of how we need to identify within the world and control our lives. It’s easy because it’s being supported. We’re being bombarded, from all angles, with belief systems of how we should be, feel, think and act. It’s a great experience and challenge for all of us to observe and play with, but internal reflection is the only way to navigate your way out of it. Getting to know who you are through the “soup” of experiences.

If we let it, society can take us away from who we really are, but the power of observation can assist us so well. This is where our true power lies. Our awareness. Our consciousness. It’s like what Morpheus says in the matrix. “You think my muscles have anything to do with how strong or how fast I am?”. It’s so true because they don’t. It’s only if we believe they do.

By becoming aware of these thoughts and beginning to observe how we are limiting ourselves, we can move out of stuck states that we feel. We can move beyond any form of suffering and discomfort. It’s a bit comical to see how we’ve become so used to a specific way of life and how we’ve become comfortable being uncomfortable. But that is changing as well. It’s becoming a lot more difficult to run from, bury or ignore what we’re feeling inside. I think an important direction to take from here is to learn to really be comfortable with everything but not in the way that we’re covering up any uncomfortable feeling with distractions.  We have to truly accept everything for what it is. When we do this, it can lead to more opening within us where we get the opportunity to see, feel and connect with everything rather than judge it or fear and misunderstand it. There’s beauty in every situation and every thing on this Earth, but to really know, see and feel that, we need to know see and feel it within ourselves first. What we do internally is how we interact with the outside world. This is why individual change is so important. We’re all one and we’re all connected not just with each other but with everything. The animals, nature, the planet, even the rest of the universe. Everything affects everything. So what do we expect in our lives and how are we viewing it? There’s a power that we all hold far beyond our need to control, it’s a power that is limitless, but it’s just being covered up by our beliefs. Try observing and be excited to see what presents. You just might enjoy not being limited anymore!

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CE provides a space for free thinkers to explore and discuss new, alternative information and ideas. The goal? Question everything, think differently, spread love and live a joy filled life.

  1. Melanie

    Thank you for this article! It is absolutely brilliant and is exactly what I needed to “hear” in this point in my life.

  2. Daniel

    AWESOME ARTICLE, THANKS!!

  3. Pingback: We’re Limiting Ourselves through Expectation | heartflow2013

  4. Hey Frances, it’s awesome to see that this resonates with you so thank you for sharing as well! In terms of practical exercises, breathing and observation are great. When your in the moment of being engaged, just a simple few deep inhalations and exhalations can allow for you to bring yourself to a neutral state and relax your mind. Another practice you can do is find a little quiet space where you can close your eyes, take some deep breathes and just ask any questions that you are looking for clarity on. When you quiet the mind you will be surprised at how quickly and simply answers and clarity can come.

    We also host weekly meditations every friday night on our radio show – CE Radio. You can check out our profile here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ce-radio

    If you subscribe to CE Radio, you will be notified via email of all upcoming shows in addition to the meditation shows. I recently hosted one on Friday January 11, 2013 which was geared towards communication and grounding. If you’re interested in checking it out here is the link: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ce-radio/2013/01/12/ce-weekly-meditation-ep9

    Hope this helps!

    Much love :)

  5. Matthew that is really beautiful, thank you for sharing. This is something I am really trying to learn to do, and sometimes I succeed. Do you know if there are any meditation techniques that can help with this kind of thing – as you say, “pausing” when you could be reacting or triggered, and allowing yourself to be the source of inspiration in the exchange with someone else? If people could do this, even just 1/4 of the people on the earth, peace could really flourish. So grateful for your sharing and writing. :)

  6. Hey Massimo, thanks for your question. When referring to limiting ourselves, it basically means that we are not free because our lives and our choices are being dictated and driven by our minds. When this happens, it takes us out of the present moment which is our natural state to be in. Have you ever gotten angry and it seemed like it wasn’t really you but it just kind of happened? Anger tends to be an automatic triggered response. It happens when a belief system that we’ve identified with is challenged by something or someone and our mind automatically goes into a defensive or dominating/controlling mode. Because of the auto response, it ends up driving us and whatever experience that comes from it.

    We really need to begin looking at the entire human experience as a whole and seeing how all of our belief systems are limiting us. If you believe something isn’t possible for example, that’s a limitation. If you believe you are a muslim, you’re limited to experiencing only what that definition encompasses. It shuts you off from be able to explore the world and all that it has to offer. Limitations also have layers to them. There’s individual limitations and collective limitations. We believe we need money to survive on this planet so we create that experience. But look at how limiting money is. We have to work hard for it and for many it consumes their lives where they go to work for the majority of their life just to make enough to retire at an age that you may not even necessarily be able to enjoy it! those are just some simple examples to give you an idea. I hope this answers your question.

    An example of an unlimited approach would be if you’re in a situation with someone and they’re yelling at you because you did something they didn’t like, instead of retaliating and getting angry, you see the situation playing out with clarity. You stay calm and centered and neutral about it. You’re not triggered. In this state you could then choose to share something with that person that may assist them in looking at how they’re reacting and why. You could assist them to see through their judgement and why they’re judging in the first place. As a result of that you could shift someone’s life entirely because they can now see an “out” so to speak to emotional triggers. In the situation, you weren’t holding a belief system that got you triggered so in turn you were able to stay in control and manifest a peaceful and serving outcome.

    Hope this helps. Much love!

    • Nigz

      Funny how the only religion mentioned with regards to limitations is Islam… Not limiting yourself at all there are you?! My religion helps me to the very thing you promote…. Do your homework before you write such nonsense.. Was interested before i saw such bias and limitation of thought!!

      • Hey Nigz, thanks so much for your comment. When I referred to Islam or being a muslim in my comment, it was simply just being used as an example. There was no prejudice or bias intent whatsoever. I could’ve used christianity or buddhism as examples and meant the same thing.

        I absolutely understand that religion can be a great path to lead you to an understanding of one’s self in many ways, however, when we adhere to a religious identity, it limits us in the sense that we create belief systems and stories of who and what we need to be and how to act and we take them very seriously. When these beliefs are challenged we become triggered and driven by our emotions that arise from this identity. We can practice Islam, Christianity, Buddhism, etc, but does it allow us to truly be free? Why do we need to identify with these things? They can be used as tools and I encourage anyone to have with the experience, but they are not who we are and it’s not something we need to protect.

        If you’re playing within the experience and can be triggered in any way, like if someone says something as I did, it becomes limiting because we believe that we “are” this religion and feel challenged when someone goes against our beliefs within it. This is the paradox of the experience we’ve created as humans across the planet. In order to move forward beyond judgement and separation, we need to observe how we are identifying with our experiences and how our emotions drive us within them. When we let go of our attachment and these identifications, we will be able to see each other as one and communicate and work together towards removing and bringing down the walls and barriers of our experience here. The more we define ourselves, the more we confine ourselves.

        Much love and light to you brother!

  7. Massimo Di Quinzio

    I’d like an example of a manifested outcome that comes from an unlimited approach. I’m visual.

  8. Massimo Di Quinzio

    What do you mean when you say limiting ourselves?

  9. Completely true, thank you.

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