When a core emotional trauma has been activated or reactivated within us, it’s not only about finding the right philosophy or telling ourselves the right words to debunk our fears. It can help redirect our minds towards an understanding that we can free ourselves. But in my own experience, I have found that when it comes to emotions of deep hurt, there comes a point where you have to commit to being fully PRESENT with the emotions and physical reactions whenever they come. Even with the thoughts trying to talk you out of it. “But presence doesn’t help what I feel, doesn’t help to change my situation…” Even be present with these ones. ; )
“You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level.” – Eckhart Tolle
The amount of judgment, identification and impatience we choose to keep towards our challenges, emotions and physical responses is the amount of fuel that the struggle and suffering needs to survive in us. It’s not about wishing it would stop so we can finally breathe. It’s about finally breathing with it and staying present. We can even visualise our mind’s “worst case scenario” materialize in front of us and maximize the emotion to its full expression… and watch the wounded image of ourselves fall apart. We will notice that one “thing” doesn’t fall apart: our awareness of it. Awareness cannot expire, only an identity can.
But what’s the whole point of this process? It helps to understand that whatever emotional experiences are triggered in our lives… it is first and foremost an opportunity for us to become friends with the human experience and gain a broader sense of compassion and understanding of it. But that’s not all, we are in the process of shifting the human experience from a state where we forget all about being and give power to the mind, to a state where we are one with being and use the mind as a vehicle for experience. All that is coming up to the surface in our lives, whether they are small cues or big cues, point us to further self-discovery and inner-freedom. It is helpful to recognize them as such. : )
This can begin as a practice, but at some point it will become more and more natural for us to allow the storms and waves to pass without judgment and stay grounded as the observing presence of it all. This is not about fixing ourselves or an external situation, but allowing our true selves to emerge. The mind may not see value in this at first, it may think it’s impossible… but YOU are the observer of your mind. Being present – that is the only reminder we need in the end. And it isn’t a mind activity, we already are that presence.
“It’s not what you are seeing… it’s WHERE you are seeing from.”- Michael Jeffreys
What about our life situation? We can let the external situations and roles be as they are, they are only here to push us to look deeply within anyways. At the soul level, we agree to play roles for one another to get to the root of our pain, let it go and find the life underneath our life situation. The drama, struggling and suffering will persist as long as we resist what is coming up to the surface and stick to our judgmental stories about it. But in the space of our presence, it is free to come and go. The more we do this – or should I say BE this – the more we open up to release what no longer serves and the more alive we become.
Are we ready to become a grander, freer and more expanded version of ourselves? If so, then we can now let go of resistance and relax into the process. It won’t drown us… it will only wash away what we are not, which was weighing us down anyways : )
Here is a helpful talk and clearing to further assist us on our journey:
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