Do you ever notice yourself resisting events happening in your life? We all go through many different experiences, this article is not to say we cannot make changes and choose to avoid very un-favorable experiences, it is simply to say, sometimes we can find ourselves being very resistant to changes that are going on in our lives.
From positive to negative, pain to happiness, laughter to suffering, we must always remember that these are all just experiences. They are part of what allows us to grow and move towards enlightenment. In many ways we agree to these experiences and attract them due to our worldview as well as what they can provide for us on a deeper level. As these experiences happen, whether it be a break up, a lost job, having to move to a new place, finishing something that can be challenges etc, we generally have two choices. We can choose the route of resisting the whole process and making it very difficult learn from as we get stuck in judging what is happening and feeling down about it. Or we can choose to accept it for the time being as something that is in our path and see what we can gain from it in terms of growth. As we react to the situations, observe the thoughts and emotions that present themselves. ‘Why am I so upset about a lost job?” “Why am I so worried about change?” “What do these changes represent to me that make me feel upset?”
Now it might be easy to say that these are all natural feelings anyone would feel when going through these experiences, but this is not true because the reactions are learned behaviours we get from how we have been taught to react to certain experiences. It is not an innate knowing for us to be upset and freak out when we lose a job for example. Some of us react and some of us don’t. Either way we are very much in control of how we feel during these changes by choosing to disempower the suffering that we often dive into and persist. The truth is we can feel peace in many of these circumstances, we simply need to remain conscious as the events play out and pay attention to what might be pulling us out of peace.
Resisting change is sometimes like trying to swim against the current. Sometimes we do not always see the perfection in what might be playing out so we try hard to keep it all in place i.e. we resist! Think about letting go of the need to control. Let things go and flow as they need to. In most cases we find that things are never as bad as we always assume they will be and in the end we feel great for having experienced it all.
So next time we find ourselves resisting, remember to try out these steps:
1. Pause for a moment in the situation
2. Observe your current emotions
3. Reflect on why they are coming up. What is the situation challenging that is making you resist?
4. Let go of what you are trying to control or avoid (keeping yourself out of danger of course)
5. Choose to take the situation moment by moment without judging it