Every one of us is a unique being, yet for some reason we can’t help but assume that for the most part we are all the same. How many times have you been in a conversation with someone and found yourself thinking about what you were going to say next rather than actually listening to them in that moment?
Most of us do this at one point or another, not only because we have an inherent tendency to be self-centered (that’s just my own belief), but also because we love to make assumptions about other people; we think we already know what will come out of a person’s mouth before they even utter it, based on our previous experiences with them.
We think we know one another so well that we actually never give ourselves the chance to truly get to know one another.
For proof of this, we need to look no further than the dating world, where one of the most sought after traits is a good listener. We look for this in prospective partners and in friends because it’s becoming increasingly more and more difficult to find. It’s why so many people pay psychiatrists, self-help coaches, and a bevy of other professionals to do a lot more than the great work they are qualified for. In many cases we pay them just to listen.
Breaking the habit of making assumptions may seem like a tall task, but the motivation to do so lies in our own experience. Just as you know that you enjoy truly being listened to, understand that everyone else values it as well. The best way to establish a relationship founded on good listening is to become a good listener yourself. It may sound cliche, but this behaviour definitely does rub off, especially since your effort and attentiveness will stand out from the type of superficial conversations they are used to.
We discuss this exact topic in detail in the latest episode of our new CE YouTube series ‘These Guys.’ Check it out:
Summary Of Points
- We have a tendency to build elaborate ideas of who people are going to be or how things are going to go rather than actually being in the moment of discovering what they truly are.
- More often than not, things are not how they appear on the surface (especially to someone with no knowledge of the situation). Look to your own life for examples of this.
- Rather than assume and judge choose to talk and find out the truth of the situation.
- When we choose to assume and judge we create a breeding ground for unnecessary conflict.
- When we choose to assume and judge we miss out on a lot of potential opportunities to connect with people and go through new experiences that we may enjoy.
- Many of our assumptions are based on superficial ideas that cause us to create a filter and not even give people or experiences a fair chance to present themselves for what they truly are.
- When conflict arises, make sure the first step is to chill out, talk, and empathize, rather than overreact based on what you think happened.
A new episode of ‘These Guys’ is released every Tuesday morning. To start the series from the beginning click HERE.
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