The ego loves homeostasis. We self-sabotage so that things will stay the same. The moment things change, new results are manifested.
Anything that is unknown, which is any type of change, triggers a fear within us. That fear is normal and healthy for our survival. What is unhealthy is when we allow that fear to outweigh our desire to make positive changes. When that happens, we sabotage our efforts and get “stuck”.
Everyone’s ego will kick in at a certain point in their “changing” process:
1. Fearing Change at the Mental Level
Some people are completely closed off to any new, out-of-the-box ideas because they conflict with a pre-existing belief. To them, a brand new idea could potentially create a lot of change at the mental level. Everyone usually knows at least one of these people. When you introduce them to a new concept they will often staunchly argue their point of view without listening to you, or shut the discussion down completely. This is their ego interfering with their ability to accept new ideas because of a deep fear of change at the mental level.
2. Fearing Change at the Emotional Level
Others will entertain new ideas but will never really put them into action. They talk a lot about changing their diet, standing up for themselves, or making some other positive shift, but they really have no intention of following through. This is because taking new action requires an emotional shift. They need to believe in the power of themselves and their ability to make change before they can actually start creating it. Whenever you encounter one of these people, they will most certainly have an emotional block that creates self sabotage in their life.
3. Fearing Change at the Physical Level
Some people will accept new ideas and take new action, but will stop their actions before they can manifest new results. This type of person will stick to a diet or go to the gym for a few weeks and then stop abruptly. They will often make excuses as to why they “had” to stop the change they started. When you find this type of person, they will have fears about the physical changes that their new actions will manifest. This could mean that they’re fearing a career change, moving out, a new physical appearance (i.e. losing weight), etc.
Determining and Releasing Your Self-Sabotage Pattern
In all cases, there is a fear of a change. It’s helpful to recognize your own pattern to determine what part of change you are most afraid of. So the next time you find yourself unable to stick to a change you’ve decided to make, grab your journal and write down what you believe could be deterring you. When you do this, you get to the root cause of your self-sabotage.
Are you afraid of an emotional, mental, physical or environmental change?
Whatever your fear is, openly accept it. It is a part of you and it’s there for a reason. You’ll often find that just knowing what you’re afraid of is enough to release the fear itself so that you can move forward. It also gives you the opportunity to course correct when you find yourself participating in self-sabotaging patterns.
If you find that you’re still having a difficult time making change, talk about your fears with a trusted friend, coach, or practitioner.
Consciously crafting your reality is an incredible process that takes time, commitment, patience, and a lot of self-love. There is always going to be something that you’re aiming for. That’s a natural part of our evolution. Even feeling “stuck” is a part of the journey. The point of life isn’t to rush to get from A to B, but to love the space in between. So take the time to slow down and enjoy the experience.
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