I’d be willing to bet that every one of you reading right now desires, in some way, to improve your situation or happiness levels, or perhaps even the landscape of your entire life. This is a part of your innate wiring as a goal-oriented human being and it is so important that you can align yourself with this fundamental aspect of your nature in order that you can work with it, rather than against it.
In the past 14 years of working closely with clients I’ve had the unique and privileged position of being able to observe many, many people at various stages on their spiritual path. I have worked with people at the very beginning stages of their inner activation and awakening all the way up to those who have been on their path of self-actualization and discovery for 20 or 30+ years – as well as with those who have been at critical moments in their journey at every point in between.
This experience has given me a solid understanding of the dynamics of the experience, how people react as they begin to notice and hone in on that deep inner restlessness or call for healing, growth, and deep meaningful life change. In addition to contributing invaluable insight and perspective to my client’s understanding of themselves, connecting the dots between a client’s inner and outer lives also enables me to set the energetic stage upon which the profound change they desire can begin to unravel and unfold.
Noticing and giving voice to the deep inner call is the first step towards life-change for most people, and you may already have noticed this within yourself. Next, as you begin to hone in on how that inner wisdom wants to show up, be experienced, seen, heard, and expressed, you naturally find yourself searching for new connections, information, tools, practices, and places as well as the structure, context, and support that life-coaching programs like the ones I facilitate provide.
One of the key aspects of really tuning into yourself at this stage is that your journey can feel uncertain, as if it isn’t quite ‘gelled,’ as though you are making it up as you go along – and this is because in very real ways, you are. This is part of the vital process of getting to know and trust who you are at your spiritual core. And the reason why the magnitude and depth of your connection with your real Self is so important is that a bit later on down the road, it is this very same quality of self-trust that will serve as the key that unlocks your potentiality and unique sacred purpose and gifts.
As your journey begins to take shape it is also important to be aware that one of the biggest pitfalls you can encounter is not having a clear understanding of where you are at present, not having a clear vision of where you want to go, and lastly, of the steps you need to take that will help you get there. This can be debatable territory because your path, is just that – judgment on how it evolves can seem irrelevant and misplaced. However it takes shape, it is yours. What is not debatable however is the universal truth that you were born a natural co-creator with powerful visionary qualities and the related resources and gifts needed to bring your fullest, happiest, most meaningful and purposeful life into the world.
If you are reading this now and recognize that you have been feeling uncertain about your path and are not sure where you are or where you want to go, I want to give you a bit of context and insight that might help give you a better understanding of your situation now.
So with regards to those pitfalls I mentioned, here are 5 of the most common distractions I have noticed that can pull a person off of his/her desired spiritual path.
1. You feel desperately time-challenged
Your schedule simply doesn’t allow you the time and space you need to sit, breathe, contemplate the direction your life is headed or your true wants and needs. Time, or rather, the lack of it is your worst enemy. You blame your relationship with time for the fact that you are unable to show up to your process or yourself. And you might feel completely convicted in adopting this stance too.
2. You have been putting yourself second and instead getting caught up in other people’s dramas and lives
You take on the role of the ‘fixer,’ the ‘healer,’ the ‘hero,’ or the person who your loved ones and those around you can always rely on to get things done. You make yourself available at a moment’s notice without a thought about your own feelings, commitments, and needs. You have taught people to believe that your needs, happiness, and life come with loose and very negotiable boundaries to the extent that it never occurs to them to ask what you need, how you are, or how you feel.
3. You have been feeling sorry for yourself
You step out of your power, your relationship with your real Self, focus primarily on and bemoan all the negativity and misfortune that has been happening around and to you. There is a distinct underlying message of ‘poor me’ in your communication with others and in such a way that you have become immersed and trapped in the feeling of being a victim in your own life.
4. The story you tell yourself keeps you feeling safe but ‘stuck’
In my article What Story Do You Tell? I go into more detail around your inborn storytelling skills. In the context of being able to fully embrace and honour your sacred purpose and spiritual path these can have a limiting effect when you tell yourself a story about why you cannot change or have MORE. These can show up in the form of reasons that at first glance seem 100% plausible such as these below:
“My financial situation is what keeps me from creating and experiencing a real and lasting life change.”
“My partner doesn’t approve of me doing ‘X’ or ‘Y.’ ” or
“I’ve read all the books and taken loads of courses – I don’t need help or support, I have all the knowledge I need to change my life.”
The example above around blaming your relationship with time is also another way in which the ‘story that you tell’ limits and prevents you from connecting into your TRUTH and taking empowering next steps.
5. You are waiting for the ‘perfect’ time
This is something I notice so commonly in folks, I know it is one of the most effective ways people unwittingly use to side-step the deep call for significant life-change. It tends to show up in a fundamental belief that things will somehow be more perfect, spacious, or aligned at some point in the future. It can sound like any one of the following statements that I have actually been told by some of my existing clients below:
“In September, my workload will have eased and I will have much more time to devote to the healing journey and life-change I want.”
“I am SO excited about working with you. I am expecting a big lump sum of back-payment owed to me in the summer so will be able to pay for this program in the fall.”
“Once the kids leave home I can think about myself, my feelings and needs and figure out what I want to do with this unhappy marriage and life I feel trapped in.”
The common thread in each of these examples is that the person is completely missing the fact that their inner wisdom only speaks to them on the importance of things in the NOW. That is, their Spirits are interested in securing their happiness and well-being NOW, not at some vague point in the future that their minds have latched on to so they won’t have to commit to serious life-change NOW.
So if you are seeing yourself in one or more of these five common examples that from one perspective can seem entirely rational and plausible and from another, completely block you from going after and enjoying the change of life circumstances you want the most, what I want to say to you is that change is possible. There IS hope.
If you are noticing any of these patterns play out in your life right now, realize that this moment for you is HUGE.
Because in this moment you are seeing and beginning to grasp on a very fundamental level, the very self-imposed limits that have been holding you back. And once you see yourself in this new way, it becomes a lot more difficult for you to lose yourself in those habits and patterns in quite the same way.
At this place it is imperative you realize that as a human being it is your tendency to stick with what you know. You naturally gravitate towards that which keeps you feeling safe – even if that something also keeps you feeling restricted and ‘stuck.’ This is another way of saying that as a human being inborn with primal instincts to survive, for the most part, you are wired to fear the unknown.
The deep inner call for life-change you have been feeling has been asking you to step into unknown territory and your natural response has been to stick with what you know.
And as you stand here on the cusp of the life-change you desire with every fibre of your being, here is what I know:
You will only be able to change your life when you become committed to that goal – no matter what.
It is your unwavering commitment and determination combined with a white-hot desire for a better, happier life filled with MORE in every area, that brings your process and path to you, and in such a way that you can exercise your co-creative abilities and make them your very own.
Now that you can see more clearly where you have been losing your power, are you willing to do whatever it takes to reclaim it?
How determined are you to change your life now – no matter what?
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