In spirituality and personal development, we’re often told to surrender to and accept an issue or situation – but where and how do you begin to surrender to and accept situations in life?
Surrender and acceptance are among the bigger spiritual issues you’ll battle with in your life – like compassion, patience, and forgiveness, there aren’t easy answers to surrender and acceptance, they are things you learn over time. They are an energy you begin to resonate with as you practice.
Surrender & Resistance
Everything we work with when you’re dealing with personal and spiritual growth can be broken down to dualities or polarities.
In order to know something completely, you have to know both its polarities so that you can find balance in the middle, between those two extremes.
For many of us we see the one aspect of many polarities to be a hindrance to our growth, e.g. resistance in the case of surrender, when in fact it’s actually part of the lesson: here we are learning the polarity of resistance on the surrender scale.
In contrast, the knowledge we gain from resistance will advance and further all our knowledge of surrender and acceptance, but we’re often only able to see it when we’ve integrated both sides.
So your first challenge of surrender is then accepting that your resistance is part of your lesson: you’re exactly where you need to be. Just spend some time thinking about it – that’s always enough to get the ball rolling in growth.
In any situation or challenge you face, you can always shortcut the time period of the lesson by applying forgiveness.
Forgive yourself for not surrendering; forgive yourself for resisting; tell your angels and guides that you can’t find forgiveness and ask them to choose for peace and forgiveness for you.
When you’ve forgiven a situation truly, the nonstop inner voice chatter will cease and the things that seemed so important won’t be blocks anymore. If you’ve forgiven a situation you will be able to surrender to it with peace in your heart and soul – the blocks will have melted away.
Play the ‘I accept’ game and accept everything that is going on around you.
- I accept that I am broke
- I accept that I might not be able to pay some or all of my bills at the end of the month
- I accept that there will be consequences for me not paying my bills
What’s important is that you include the actual thing that is happening and say it out loud. If you’re feeling brave, say it out loud to a trusted friend.
Most of the time, stuff only has power over us because we give it power, and the way we give it power is by keeping it a secret within us. The moment you start saying the fears out loud you take all their power. The more you openly speak about it, to others and yourself, the easier it becomes to process and deal with.
If you are feeling really extraordinarily brave, then start making jokes about it.
- You know what would be nice? Paying my bills.
- With what money?
- Sure let me just visit the money tree.
Making jokes is hard at first, but go where it hurts the most. Not only will you be desensitizing yourself by picking at it, but if you have a massive laughter release because you hit the right humor note at the right time, you will experience an energetic release that could blast through the worst of the heaviness you are feeling.
What’s The Worst That Can Happen?
“Why destroy present happiness by a distant misery, which may never come at all, or you may never live to see it? For every substantial grief has twenty shadows, and most of them shadows of your own making.” – Sydney Smith
If you seem overwhelmed by fears and doubts, then look at what the worst outcomes are that can happen.
- What will I lose?
- Who will be angry at me?
- Who will be jealous of me?
- Who will I betray?
- Who will I disappoint?
- Who will I let down that relies on me?
- How far will this set me back?
If you’re really worried about a particular outcome, then make a plan of action for what you would do if that outcome had to realize. Plan your speech, what you’d say to media, how you’d break the news to family and friends – any and every contingency you can think of.
Most often, when we sit down and analyze potential future situations like this, we find that we already have all the skills, knowledge, and resources we need to handle the situation, and the fear will melt away.
On the energetic level, if the experience only exists in order to bring an awareness that you will handle it, then by simply going through it mentally and having all the aspects prepared, you could circumvent the need to have that experience manifest in your life because you’ve already learned the skills you need from it.
Long Term Surrender Practices
If you’re working on surrender as a long-term spiritual practice and ability, then yoga and meditation are going to be your best allies.
With yoga, you surrender your body into postures and folds, and you are taught to breathe into the pose so that your body can surrender even further. The really amazing thing about how our minds work is that you can learn surrender on the physical level with yoga and extrapolate that information energetically into other areas of your life.
The ‘is’ meditation is an incredibly powerful practice that will make you exceptionally spacy sometimes, so be careful of overusing it before you’re used to it.
The whole aim of the meditation is to keep your attention and focus on the word ‘is,’ chanting it like you would ohm. You can say it out loud or in your head, although you may find it easier to keep your focus if you say it out loud first.
The energy and magic behind this meditation lies in the power of the word ‘is’ itself. In the same way that exposing your body to positive words such as love and forgiveness has a healing effect on your body and changes the energy inside you, meditating on the word ‘is’ helps bring your body closer to a resonance or alignment with acceptance.
Once you’ve used the meditation for a while, you’ll notice that you feel significantly lighter and ungrounded after using it, and that your ability to get irritated seems to have diminished.
For a free version of the ‘is’ meditation, visit http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/is-meditation and use the voucher code COLLECTIVEEVOLUTION to download the process for free.
Life Coaches Toolbox
Life Coaches Toolbox offers a range of beautifully designed and ready-to-download Life Coaching processes, tools, techniques, scales and question sets, as well as a range of free tools and diagnostics for coaches to use with clients and for clients to use on their own. Chemory Gunko is a Life Coach, NLP Practitioner, Ericksonian Hypnotherapy Practitioner & Energy Resourcing Practitioner and is available for one-on-one life coaching sessions, in person and via Skype.
For more information visit www.lifecoachestoolbox.com
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