It’s almost that time of the year again — the time that many single people have come to dread. Those roses, teddy bears, and heart-shaped-everythings are being advertised everywhere you turn, and it’s simply inescapable: Valentine’s Day. To many people in relationships, this holiday marks yet another day where you are expected to buy gifts that show off your love and affection for your significant other. While many do see through this narrative and recognize this day for what it is — just another contrived, manufactured holiday — it is still widely celebrated across the Western world. Children see it as another day to get candy, and also to hand out cards to their friends, and are accordingly excited by its arrival. But for those single people out there, it can be a day that feels very lonely — a day when all your friends and family members are spending time with their significant other, and it can bring up memories of relationships past. But instead of wallowing in your own victimized state of sorrow, wondering why you too have not been hit with Cupid’s arrow, this Valentine’s Day, I say, be your own damn Valentine!
Why Should You Be Your Own Valentine?
The truth is, the practice of self-love is something that, relationship or not, many of us struggle with on a regular basis. We often neglect ourselves when it comes to the amount of love, care, and attention we give out; we forget that we deserve this too! And we end up depriving ourselves of what we need most as a result. Never forget that,
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
So why not use this day as a starting point for an amazing relationship with yourself? It has been said that if you do not truly love yourself, you cannot really love another. If you already do have a great relationship with yourself then this is a great day to treat yourself and do something that is just for you, perhaps something you have wanted to do for a while but have not made time for.
Plan Of Action For Valentines Day
On this day, or any day really, make a list of everything you would like to start doing for yourself. Maybe it’s a morning meditation, daily smoothie, juicing, running, yoga, eating healthier, hiking, exploring, reading, painting, or writing — whatever it may be, use this as an opportunity to get started! Keep a journal and document how it felt to finally do these things that you have wanted to do for yourself. You may be surprised by how good it can feel to put yourself first, and hopefully it will inspire you to continue doing so in the future, when appropriate. This can be a start date for an incredible relationship with yourself, if you let it.
I should be clear, even if you are in a relationship with someone, having a good relationship with yourself is still very important for your well-being. Just because you have someone else who cares for you does not mean you should neglect yourself.
You Are Never Really Alone
“If you are lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company.” – Jean-Paul Sartr
This is so true; if you are feeling lonely when you are alone, maybe it’s because you don’t like who you are with. But you are never really alone, because you have yourself! And embracing this time can be an amazing opportunity for personal development and growth. It is something I myself have been learning for the past year or so; I used to say, I just hate being alone, but now I see it as a great chance to reflect on myself and my life and where I am going. It gives me the chance to give to myself that much needed self-care I am finally now accepting that I deserve and am worthy of.
If you are dateless this Valentine’s Day, don’t forget that you already have a date lined up with someone who is absolutely amazing and entirely deserving of some love and affection! There may even be some candy, dinner, red wine, and a nice bubble bath involved (if that’s your thing)! Don’t forget, you are loved. Act like it.
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