Sex is an act of give and take — giving yourself fully and unapologetically and allowing the same space for your partner. Sex also creates an energetic connection between you and your partner that goes beyond the physical. The more you understand and recognize your own presence, needs and wants, the deeper the experience will be for you and your partner. This can almost be said for any aspect of life.
By having an awareness of your own emotions and connection, you can help your partner to share that awareness, ensuring that the sex you are about to partake in brings you both together.
One of the best ways to recognize your desire is to meditate. There are many positives that are affiliated with giving your mind a time out mentally and physically. Meditation has been known to increase grey matter in the brain and can even help with gastrointestinal disorders, so it’s no wonder that it can play a major role in increasing our libido and even having deeper sexual experiences.
During sex, not only are you physically and energetically connecting with your partner, you are connecting with yourself too, so when you are overworked and stressed out you are creating a block that can prevent you from enjoying one of the most relaxing and satisfying practices known to man. “If stress is impacting our sex—which it is—and if meditation is the most effective stress-relieving tool that we have, then it stands to reason that if you’re practicing meditation, it may in fact make your sex better,” says Emily Fletcher, creator of Ziva Meditation.
After Emily started teaching Vedic Meditation, she started receiving interesting feedback from her students, with one claiming that she had an orgasm every time she hit the sheets.
One study already delved into this theory that meditation can increase sexual desire, finding that group mindfulness-based therapy significantly improves sexual desire in women. “Treatment significantly improved sexual desire, sexual arousal, lubrication, sexual satisfaction, and overall sexual functioning. Sex-related distress significantly decreased in both conditions, regardless of treatment, as did orgasmic difficulties and depressive symptoms.”
The Energy Of Sex
For those who are familiar with chakras and body meridians, this energetic component of sex may seem blindingly obvious, “There are 108 energetic meridians in the body, and the biggest one runs from the base of the spine up,” Fletcher explains. According to her, “meditation will start to clear out those channels quite spontaneously, but most of us are pretty blocked in our chakras, and the first block that the energy hits is the sexual chakra. So that energy coming up gets blocked, and then it dissipates and creates arousal.”
But spirituality aside, the biggest and most immediate benefit of meditation is that it promotes the act of being present. In keeping with our society’s current model of instant gratification, it seems as though sex today is often less about exploring ourselves and our partners and more about completing a task that guarantees a big payoff (to some) in the end. Meditation and presence can change that.
When you create the habit of meditating daily, the act of being present can trickle into other aspects of your life, including between the sheets. When you are fully engaged and present in sex, your chances of achieving long-lasting arousal and orgasm can only increase.
By trying this meditation below, you are giving yourself the opportunity to be fully present and aware of yourself AND your partner. You are giving each other a chance to really get to know each other.
Below is Emily Fletcher’s favourite five-minute meditation for better sex — partner optional.
Come to Your Senses
This exercise puts you so firmly into your body—into the right now—that it’s hard to be stressed. For the first few times, do the meditation seated with your eyes closed, but once you’ve got the hang of it, you could do it as you’re putting on your lingerie, as you’re making the bed, or as you’re showering.
1. Sit with your back supported and your head free. Take a few breaths, close your eyes, and settle in.
2. Then, walk through each of your five senses.
3. Start with what you’re hearing. What’s the most prevalent sound you can detect right now? And then, if you have extra time, listen for the most subtle.
4. With the next breath, feel what you’re feeling. What’s the most prevalent tactile sensation you can feel right now? Can you feel the chair beneath you, can you feel your skin beneath your clothes? And then, if you have time, what’s the most subtle?
5. With your next breath, move on to what you’re seeing—and it might just be blackness, or the light coming through your eyelids. And then once you get advanced and can do this with your eyes open, just think, what’s the most beautiful thing you can detect right now?
6. Next breath, what’s the most prevalent smell you can smell right now, and what’s the most subtle? And then do the same for taste.
It’s so simple—you’re just walking through each of your senses, and then once you’ve done all five, you want to pull back and see if you can hold all five senses in your awareness at the same time. So hear what you’re hearing, feel what you’re feeling, see what you’re seeing, taste what you’re tasting, and smell what you’re smelling, all at the same time.
Doing this can’t help but improve sex, because sex is such a five-sensory experience.
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