No one likes bad vibes, and although many of us may believe that putting up an anti-bad-vibe shield will protect us from negative people, places, and things, the reality is that we have to look within to ensure we live from a place of peace.
While we shouldn’t scorn and fear negativity, as we can learn a lot from it at times, an overall state of peace is something we all crave. In the case of this article, happiness is more about a consistent state of peace and joy in life vs a fleeting emotion of elation.
In the worlds of Buddha, “What we think, we become,” so if we think negatively, we greatly diminish our chances of living a happy life. But the problem for many is that toxic thoughts are learned and toxic thinking becomes habitual, so we are unaware of not only their negative effect on our wellbeing, but also of our having them in the first place.
But it’s time to break through this facade of normalcy. Here are 7 common toxic thoughts that you need to drop in order to have a happier life:
1. Thinking You’re a Victim
It’s easier to think the world is against you than it is to admit that it is you who must do the changing. You have to stop blaming others for feeling like you are unhappy with who you are or where you are at in life. You will never get anywhere if you assume outside circumstances must change to succeed. You, and only you, are responsible for your destiny.
2. Believing Other People Are Better Than You
When you assume you will never be as happy, successful, fulfilled, etc. as someone else because they have more money, better style, better looks, or a healthier and more loving upbringing, you are only putting unnecessary obstacles in the way of your best self. When you appreciate what you have, the illusion that others are better quickly dissipates, and you will be freed from envy and anything else getting in the way of you being who you want to be and doing what you want to do.
3. Having high expectations
I have a friend who used to get so down on herself because a lover, a friend, or a family member failed to meet her expectations. She went out of her way to make people feel special and loved, and she wanted others to go above and beyond with surprise birthday parties, extravagant gifts, and daily phone calls to catch up. By focusing on these specific expectations, she was missing out on all the unique ways these people in her life were going above and beyond.
The less you expect, the less likely you will get disappointed, and the more you’ll be able to see how blessed you truly are.
4. The need to be right all the time
It’s wasted energy to try to convince someone else that you’re right all the time, as you’ll never be able to be truthful with yourself that mistakes happen, and so you’ll never be able to learn and grow from these mistakes. Not opening your mind up to different viewpoints or being able to admit when you’re truly in the wrong prevents you from learning and will hinder you from creating deeper connections with many different types of people.
5. Being fearful of the future
Have you ever been having an amazing day, week, or month when suddenly you begin to wonder when the happiness will end? You search for things that could go wrong, imagination running wild: the person who makes you feel so good could cheat on you, you could get fired from the job you love and excel at, or any number of other terrible things could happen. These toxic thoughts keep you from living in the moment and relishing in the happiness you are currently experiencing.
6. Living in the past
So you regret certain things you’ve done in the past, but guess what? The past doesn’t define you. Perhaps it has shaped you in the sense that you learned from it to become a better person, but it doesn’t determine your destiny. If you decide your past will keep you from success, love, and a life of contentment, then that will be your future because you have manifested it.
7. Worrying about what others think of you
It’s a common concern amongst the masses: expressing your individuality, attempting new things, making mistakes at those new things, making bold decisions, and so on, will put you in the hot seat, and if you fail or make a fool of yourself, everyone will laugh, or perhaps reject you.
When we allow the worry of others judging us for our actions to overcome us, we take away our ability to prosper. We all had to learn how to walk, and had to take quite a few embarrassing spills before getting it down. But did we care? No, because we were babies, and that ignorance proved a most powerful bliss, as we genuinely followed through with what felt natural, right, and instinctual.
Life is too short to get caught up worrying about how others will react to a decision or action you make that you believe will contribute to your happiness, so just do you and ignore the haters.
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