A connection between two people has many stages, and some of them are never met. But when things initially hit the ground running, there’s a lot of excitement, but also a lot of confusion. Do they want to be with you exclusively? Do you want to be with them the same way, too?
Then there’s the question of love. When you fall for someone, you may fall hard, but sometimes it’s not as simple as falling in love. Prior to that, you may indeed, be falling in lust….But how can you tell the difference?
Many of us believe we know when we’re in love, but do we know when we’re in lust? Physical attraction is the backbone of lust, with our sexual desires at the core. There’s a sense of newness: a new feeling between you and another person, the laughter you share, the intimacy you share, and so on. It’s pure fun. As love comes along, those incredible feelings may stick around, but they’re typically fleeting since the heart hasn’t come into the picture just yet.
Whereas lust is surfaced, so to speak, love is much deeper. You give yourself entirely to another individual without question. It’s more involuntary than a willingness. Emotional connection stemming from your heart is at the core of love, as opposed to lust and sexual attraction.
David Lieberman once said:
“Consider, for example, lust versus love. When we lust after someone or something, we think in terms of what they (or it) can do for us. When we love, however, our thoughts are immersed in what we can give to someone else. Giving makes us feel good, so we do it happily. But when we lust, we only want to take. When someone we love is in pain, we feel pain. When someone whom we lust is in pain, we only think in terms of what that loss or inconvenience means to us.”
Osho agreed, once saying: “In love the other is important; in lust you are important”
And Jess C. Scott explained: “I envy people that know love. That have someone who takes them as they are.”
But what does that look like? To see past a pretty dress, and into someone’s soul? And, given that recognition, desire to give them all of you?
Artist Karina Farek wanted to provide a visual to help explain just that, so she decided to illustrate the differences between love and lust. Bringing writer Shea Strauss‘ words to life, she created these witty and endearing comics that’ll make you laugh a little as you say to yourself, “That’s totally true.”
Using examples that are extremely relatable, like giving into total contentment with unflattering pj’s and stuffing your face, and your partner, rather than being turned off, being enamoured by your undeniable beauty, Farek brings light to the very big differences between lust and love.
Take a look at some of the biggest differences between the two below:
1. Looking like a supermodel in between the sheets may sound sexy, but it’s not realistic seven nights a week. One of the most beautiful aspects of love is truly being able to be yourself, and find someone who is in love with just that.
2. During lust, you are learning. And so you may find yourself enamored by new humor, new insight. When you’re in love, sometimes words aren’t even necessary. You have established your own humor.
3. The moment the thought of cuddling trumps sex, you might be in love.
4. In lust, expectations are to be met. In love, we do things without expectations.
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