In discussing family troubles, I’ve heard so many people say, “We can’t choose our families.” Contrary to this belief, I would argue that we do choose our families, as I believe our souls enter into this lifetime having chosen the most important relationships we will have and lessons we will learn.
Many of you who find difficulty in connecting with your families may be thinking, “Why would I choose these people as my relatives?” This existential question is perhaps one of the most challenging and profound questions we seek to answer. Whether your relationship with your family is practically perfect or non-existent, we could all benefit from cutting any energetic ties and emotional cords we hold to our family members.
What are Energetic Ties and Emotional Cords?
Energetic ties are a non-physical link between yourself and another being. Energetic ties can be formed in this lifetime or in past lifetimes. The souls you chose to be your family members weren’t randomly selected, but rather, were a strategic choice made by your soul that directly affects your current human experience.
It is said that family members are often souls that have experienced numerous lifetimes with one another. Many people feel that their current relatives have played different roles in their family lineage during past lifetimes on earth together. For example, one of my mentors is sometimes condescending towards her mother, always wanting to teach her and guide her, which she believes is because in past lifetimes, her mother was actually her daughter so she still feels the need to pursue that same motherly role.
Emotional cords are bound to you, often from specific events, traumas, and/or from other people transferring energy to you. Emotional cords can be considered positive or negative. For example, positive cords can be found when you’re in love, as your partner wishes the best for you and you may create an attachment to him or her. Negative cords could be created from your own self-judgement or from someone pushing negative emotions on you. Whether the cords you have are positive or negative, it is ideal to have no emotional cords whatsoever.
In Sanskrit, any emotional cord or energetic imprint that’s left on your heart is referred to as a Samskara. Michael Singer, author of The Untethered Soul, describes a Samskara as, “A cycle of stored past energy patterns in a state of relative equilibrium. It is your resistance to experiencing these patterns that causes the energy to keep cycling around itself.”
When it comes to our families, especially our parents, we allow ourselves to create attachments to them. Do you value your parents’ opinions of you over your own? On the contrary, do you feel a deep disconnection from your parents and resent them for it? This could mean you have a Samskara on your heart or an energetic tie or emotional cord imprinted on you.
Family Karma Could Be Holding You Back
The law of karma maintains that every action has a “cause and effect,” meaning that each action produces karmic energy that will eventually return to you. This energy could circle back to you in a future lifetime or could be passed down your family lineage, which is known as family karma.
Some of us have been carrying these burdens since birth because karmic energy can manifest at an unconscious level. If your relatives have been reincarnating into the same family lineage as different members of the family, the same family dynamic could keep perpetuating. You could also have DNA karma that’s been passed down to you, which isn’t difficult to imagine given that everything is universal energy and we’re all fundamentally connected to one another.
Whether you like it or not, the connection you have to your family is much greater than genetics, especially to your mother. When you’re born, you’re literally attached to her via an umbilical cord. If you’re physically attached, what does that mean at the energetic and emotional levels?
The umbilical cord could be considered the connection between the mother’s sacral chakra and her child’s solar plexus chakra. Mothers typically feel a strong emotional connection to their children, as the sacral chakra represents the emotional centre. This connection often shapes a child’s self-identity and personal power, which is governed by the solar plexus chakra. With this logic, it’s easy to imagine how our mothers, or any family member for that matter, could wrap an energetic/emotional cord around any of our chakras.
How to Cut Your Ties and Cords To Your Family
Sara Wiseman, author of Heal Your Family Karma: Release The Seven Shadows, explains that even though we (our souls) choose our families, most of us are born into families that don’t have perfect karma. Wiseman theorizes that most families struggle with one or more “karmic shadows:” abuse, addiction, violence, poverty, illness, abandonment, and betrayal.
In her book, Wiseman suggests numerous modalities to recognize whether or not any of these seven shadows are affecting or have affected your family as well as different methods to heal your family karma. This includes writing and journaling, karmic mapping, meditating, energy healing, and Shamanic rituals.
However, if you want to free yourself from family karma, all you truly have to do is gaze within. You have the power to release any emotional cords or energetic ties to you because they are all within you. Recognize the lessons embedded within your family relationships, have compassion for any of the shadows that are present, and release any negative emotions about your family that are weighing you down. Ensure that your beliefs are just that, your beliefs, and not your family’s. These cords and ties are tightly wrapped around you, so they can be released by you.
During a private session with Sound Reiki Healer, Catherine Varga, she shared with me a simple method to release energetic/emotional cords. Personally, I had some cords wrapped around my throat chakra and my root chakra that were both family-related. By looking within and understanding when and why I let these cords stick with me for so long, I was able to release them.
Catherine told me that whenever I feel an energetic tie or emotional cord has been established, I can release them by physically pulling them out of me. Once I recognize their presence on one of my chakras, I use my hands to pull the cords out of me as if I’m pulling a rope and then I visualize them releasing.
Even if this article doesn’t resonate with you, take some time to consider why you would’ve chosen your family. What have you learned from your family? Alternatively, if you no longer have a family, how has that shaped your life?
We live in a friendly universe; the universe wants us to learn, grow and evolve. Even if you’re not close to your family or you have completely opposing views from them, your family is a gift.
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