Creating a life that you love isn’t necessarily all that easy – or is it? It actually can be, and I am going to walk you through five easy-to-follow steps to create a life you love, starting right now.
1. Being-ness (The Foundation)
Your state of being directly impacts what you create in life.
You can think of it as the head space you live in. If you are in a bad mood, you will typically produce poor quality work. If you are in an amazing mood, chances are that you will exceed your expectations.
What you need to do, then, is to set your inner climate. Think of the temperature and aesthetics in your home. These set the tone. You can do the equivalent with your own internal climate.
I recommend a simple five minute exercise where you simply breathe to relax your body. Allow your heart to become soft and tender, then let yourself be open to learning and playfulness. That is a simple and totally achievable touchstone.
A fringe benefit of regularly taking charge of your state of being is that you become clear on the underlying realities impacting your sense of being-ness.
To create an authentic life, it is also important to discern exactly how you are creating. And there are four main ways of creating:
Goal Setting: This is often a prescriptive way of creating. I want to lose 30lbs so I am going to do x, y, and z.
Intention Setting: This is the feeling and being state that you want to create. For example, how would it feel to lose 30lbs? How would this impact your life and your way of relating to people? Defining those qualities is intention setting.
Through Fear/Resistance: We all know that when we don’t want something to happen, it most likely happens. What you resist persists.
Through Others/Others Through Us: This could be the diploma you always never wanted, for example. Have you ever created something that others wanted for you but never really clicked for you personally?
The ideal way to create authentically is to create intentionally ‘as spirit.’ To do this, regularly practice setting your inner climate with an intention to live from a place of ease where you have a relaxed body, open mind, and tender heart.
2. Intention (The Clarity)
Be specific about what it is that you want to create. If you don’t know what you want, how can you expect to create it?
If you are unsure, start from that state of ‘being-ness’ (step 1) and get a sense of the qualities you would like in your life. For example: peace, love, joy, fulfillment, etc.
When you are aware of the qualities, consider what would need to unfold in your life to make them happen. Once clear on that, you can start to develop your vision and intention.
There are a few ways to do this. The most important piece is understanding the energetic impression that you would like to have. An energetic impression is the feeling and state of being that you would like regardless of what the physical creation ends up looking like.
As an example, most people would love to win the lottery. But it’s not so much about the millions of dollars as it is about the perceived freedom or ability to travel whenever and wherever.
If they could have that freedom and whatever else they believe would come with the excess cash without actually winning the lottery, they would likely not care about how it came to be. Just that it came to be.
In this case, the sense of freedom is the energetic impression. This is exactly why you want to be clear on your intention – there are many ways to create what you want.
In our society, we are taught to work hard, earn money, and buy what we want. That is only one prescription and only one of a handful of ways to create.
Another benefit of creating by intention is that it comes from deeper within – a more genuine place.
3. Release (The Approach)
Once you are clear on your intention, you need to let it go. Give permission for it to exist.
Imagine sitting at a restaurant. The server comes to take your order but you don’t tell them what it is. Mind-readers aside, this server will not be able to figure out what you want, let alone bring your order to the kitchen to be prepared.
If you are holding on to your intention for dear life, check to see where you are creating from – chances are that it is from a place of fear. If that’s the case, go through the intention-setting process again and this time, start with your heart’s deepest desires, then go from there.
And how do you let it go? Well, creating involves a dance of wishing it to happen and making it happen. Do something that symbolizes a step forward.
If it is travel, look online for destinations that you would like to visit and pick a spot. This is a simple next step. If it is peace, make a conscious decision to live more peacefully.
Whatever it is, take a simple step forward, one which takes less than 20 minutes to accomplish. Revisit this in a few days to take another simple step.
4. Doubts (The Objections)
In order to have something, you need to clear out your objections and doubts. If you think you can’t have it, you won’t be able to have it; it’s that simple.
If you have a stumbling block to creating, one of these is likely where you are holding yourself back.
If I try, I am going to:
- Go through the process and nothing will come out of it.
- Go through a painful process to make it happen.
- Lose something to gain something.
Can you identify one that sounds familiar?
For example, if you want to travel and are unable to afford it, you may only take a quick glance of travel hotspots before all the no’s start coming in. “I can’t afford it. I don’t have time. How can I expect to get time off work? Etc., etc., etc.”
So you don’t even attempt it, and stay stuck. One of the keys to success is being able to move past your assumptions. All of these messages come from your past. You can never know what is going to happen in the future until you actually get there.
Mindset is essential! When you walk down the street, which way are you looking? Forward! Not backwards. So why do people make choices based on their past instead of their future?
Stop creating from where you are coming from and start creating from where you are going. Imagine that you had that creation in your life – how would your choices and level of confidence be different? Now make choices from that empowered voice.
5. Self-Love (The How)
The final step is the appreciation and affirmation of what the creation is and who you are.
Appreciation is an old accounting term that simply means ‘adding value.’ Consider: How can you or how is this going to add value to your life? Then be grateful for it.
Affirmation comes from ‘to make firm’… to make solid. In this case, connect with your heart. Be aware of how this creation would make your heart grow stronger.
In that state of being-ness and with appreciation, affirm that this intention (or something even better than you could have ever imagined) will manifest in the optimal way for all.
Generosity (The Exponential Growth Factor)
Have you ever made dinner for someone else or created something for another? You probably brought out all the bells and whistles and truly made it a memorable experience.
Have you done that for yourself? Probably not. Most don’t. It is estimated that when a person does something for someone else, the level of quality grows 10 times.
Generosity is one of your greatest strengths available. However, your reservoir needs to be full and only then can you truly give to another from complete gratitude — a truly beautiful gift.
Birds of a Feather (The Key Ingredient)
You may have noticed that people naturally gravitate to like-minded folks. At the same time, you may not realize that the people you spend the most time with reflect who you are and where you are going in life.
If you want to get a sense of where your life is headed, have a look at your inner circle. Reflect on this and start making choices for how you want to relate to the world and who you truly are at heart.
Why is it important to consider relationships? Well, all creations are co-creations. There is virtually nothing you can create without the help or aid of another. Whether that be the air we breathe (help from plants) or the places we travel, we need others’ involvement to create the things we want in life.
So to bring it all together: Choose how you relate to others and remember…
B.I.R.D.S. of a Feather Flock Together
Being-ness – Relaxed body, open mind, and tender heart.
Intention – Know what it is that you really want to create.
Release – Send your order to the kitchen and take a first step.
Doubts – Clear limitations to create from where you want to go.
Self-Love – Practice the power of appreciation and affirmation.
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