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15 Things To Stop Doing To Yourself

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I was recently inspired to put together a list of tendencies that I have observed in both myself and those around me which, in my opinion, can make life a lot more complicated and difficult to go through than it needs to be. Read through the list, see how many apply to you, and feel free to add any others that you wish to share through the comment section of the article.

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1. Running From Your Problems 

You cannot run from things forever, and believe it or not, the longer you run from something, the more difficult it becomes to face. Challenges arise for a reason, and as difficult as many of them can be to both face and overcome, doing so gives you the opportunity to become a stronger and more capable version of yourself. There are also fewer things more liberating than the feeling of finally facing something that you had put off or feared for a long time.

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2. Lying to Yourself and Others

Lying is, in my opinion, the most naturally cumulative process. What starts as a simple and small lie (that may even have been told to avoid hurting someone) quickly spirals into an entirely false reality where the biggest thing preventing you from sharing the truth is the prospect of developing a reputation as a liar. Moreover, we may lie to one another once in a while, but we lie to ourselves all the time, often to protect our oh-so fragile egos. We might even be inclined to lie to ourselves when reading this list, not wanting to admit how many of these traps we actually fall into. Remember that in the end, the past has helped to make you who you are, but it does not define you; you always have the ability to make the transition to full honesty, and you will probably be pleasantly surprised by how much lighter an honest existence can feel.

3. Letting the Fear of Making a Mistake Stop You From Doing Something

Mistakes certainly can be a frustrating experience, but the risk of making one is never worth holding yourself back from doing something you feel pulled to do. We all know we learn from our mistakes, but we need to also remember that we learn even more from stepping outside of our comfort zone and doing something different or new.

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4. Comparing Yourself to Others

Whether it’s an iconic figure or even a friend or co-worker, many of us have a natural tendency to compare ourselves to others. Think of how many times you may have said, either loudly or under your breath, “Must be nice” when looking at a facet of another person’s life. Yet, just as the famous saying goes, the grass will always seem greener on the other side. Whether or not the grass actually is greener has no bearing on the only grass we should be focused on — the one right below our feet. The moment we stop comparing and instead focus on our own experience is the moment we are most likely to both find peace in things being the way that they are and motivation to change them should we feel the need to.

5. Living for Something in the Future

Whether it’s something as temporary as an upcoming vacation or as permanent as retirement, living for something in the future is great for one key thing: Preventing us from living right now. One thing is for certain, in this life we are never going to be any younger than we are right now, so what time is better than right now? I’m not suggesting that we stop making all future plans, since they certainly can be useful, but rather that we instead focus on the present and allow the future to be what it will when the time for it comes.

6. Always Seeking Sympathy

Nobody likes a negative Nancy or a pessimistic Peter, yet so many of us regularly make a habit of sharing nothing but the unpleasant or unfavourable. As nice as it can feel to receive sympathy from another person, we all know it does absolutely nothing to change the situation that we are complaining about. In fact, it actually makes it a bigger part of your reality, since now you aren’t the only one to identify with it. Accept whatever it is that seems to be plaguing you and choose to move on from it rather than bask in the accompanying stories or emotions.

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7. Trying to Relive/Make Up for Your Past

As I previously mentioned, your past does not define you, and that applies whether you look upon it favourably or wish you could forget it. As fun or torturous as reminiscing can be at times, in the end, nothing truly matters outside of this moment. Rather than preoccupy yourself with a comparison to another point in time, why not try giving all of your energy and attention to the one that is right in front of you?

8. Putting Things Off for the Eternal Tomorrow

This one could alternatively be called “being lazy,” and I’d argue it’s the one that plagues the largest percentage of us. Remembering that there is no time like the present, opt to show laziness who is boss a little more often and you might be surprised at how contagious present action can be. You will undoubtedly become more productive, and might just find yourself motivated to do a lot more than you ever thought possible.

9. Blaming Things Outside of Yourself

Even though we all do genuinely find ourselves ‘victim’ to a person or circumstance from time to time, we usually (and inaccurately) point the blame elsewhere far more often. As much as this can be an effective tool for dodging difficulty with another person, it never works when trying to avoid difficulty within yourself. You will always know the true reason behind even the grandest lie, and not living up to it will never be the easier path to travel. Own up to what you have caused or what is really holding you back and you might just find yourself a lot more in control of your own reality and even more comfortable in your own shoes.

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10. Letting the Past Define Your Opinion of Others 

Your friend may have unnecessarily called you a jackass three years ago, but that doesn’t mean that you need to see them as a jackass today. You should always use your own guidance to determine whether or not you want to surround yourself with certain people, but you shouldn’t let the past taint that guidance. As difficult or as emotionally charged as a lot of it may be, the past is simply baggage that should have no bearing on the present moment. Think of how much you have changed and grown throughout your life. Now consider how foolish it would be to assume that the same does not also apply to everyone around you.

11. Setting Expectations for Things Before They Happen

Let’s face it: The imagination loves to wander, and in most cases it wanders to create expectations far grander than even humanly possible. As fun as getting lost in la-la land can be at times, it also manages to do a pretty good job of making the present reality seem pretty blah by comparison. I’ve heard countless people tell me how the best things in life have always seemed to happen when they least expected it, so what better way to foster those experiences more often than to simply stop expecting? Be in the moment, and things will always seem that much more exciting (if for no other reason than you haven’t imagined them first).

12. Looking for Someone Perfect 

Not only is our idea of perfect most likely heavily shaped by entertainment and popular media, but it is also ever-changing and therefore pretty well impossible to find. Rather than focusing on your search for that perfect someone to complete you, focus on what you need to do to feel complete within yourself. We are all capable of being and feeling complete love on our own; relationships are simply the extension of that love to another person. Shedding the need for “perfection” will also make you a lot more open to connecting and sharing experiences with anyone that comes into your life, helping you to remember that love can often be found in the oddest places.

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13. Trying to Be Someone That You Are Not 

Whether we’re being impacted by popular opinion, or trying to match the preference of someone we hope to impress, we are never doing ourselves a favour when we try to become someone else. Even if the charade manages to work in getting you what you were going for, it only does so for a false version of yourself. Focusing on understanding and fully owning, with comfort, who you truly are will take you a lot further in life than anything artificially created.

14. Beating Yourself Up

As insulting as another person can be, there is no one capable of being more vicious to ourselves than, well… ourselves. Whether you let your high school crush get away, you dropped the game winning touchdown, or did anything else you regret, nothing from the past needs to have any bearing on the present. Choosing to create this moment anew rather than weigh it down by things that are completely irrelevant to everything but your mind can be a really freeing process.

15. Just Reading and Not Doing

As amazing as books, quotes, and even articles such as this one can be to help remind us of what we already know, we must also begin putting these things into action. Allow these resources to become a starting point rather than a regularly needed reminder.

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Facebook Recognizes The Risks Of Too Much Screen Time With New ‘Time Limit Tool’

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    In this day and age, most people are spending way too much time staring at a screen and not enough on things that actually matter.

  • Reflect On:

    Can we use this tool to our advantage to reassess our values and what is really important to us? Perhaps this tool will help many to finally break the addiction to "the scroll" for good.

Finally, it would seem that Facebook has begun to acknowledge the fact that its users are spending too much time on the app and that could potentially have some negative side effects. To combat this, the developers at Facebook are creating a ‘Time Limit Tool’ so that its users can set a time limit to ensure they aren’t wasting too much time on the app. This app can be used for Facebook or Instagram.

This new tool will allow users to be able to track and monitor how much time they’ve spent scrolling and have a reminder set off when they have reached the time that the user has allotted, and even mute notifications for a period of time.

In a recent blog post, Facebook announced, “We want the time people spend on Facebook and Instagram to be intentional, positive and inspiring. Our hope is that these tools give people more control over the time they spend on our platforms and also foster conversations between parents and teens about the online habits that are right for them.”

Facebook users are continuing to decline as people are simply losing interest and are also recognizing how much time is actually being wasted staring at a screen. Having this app is a huge step in the right direction. In fact, just showing people how much time they are actually spending screen-staring on a daily basis is of value.

It’s funny because I was just saying to a friend that someone needs to develop an app that actually shows us the amount of time that we spend on the various social media platforms. Maybe Facebook was listening and decided they better jump on this so that they can spin it how they would like, rather than having an outside party app come in called “Time Suck” or Wasted Dayz App” or something to that effect. For many, the amount of time spent would be likely a shock. But getting a clear picture of it and facing this can be an excellent way to inspire us to make different choices with social media.

Some say Facebook’s new app doesn’t quite go far enough.

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“I wouldn’t say it’s a radical change or that it’s going to really change a lot about the way that most people use Facebook or Instagram,” Grant Blank from the Oxford Internet Institute told Newsbeat. “It strikes me as a way to balance their corporate interest of keeping people spending as much time as possible on Facebook while still being responsive to people who find the continual notifications to be disturbing or distracting.”

How Do You Use The Tool?

 

To access the tool on either Facebook or Instgram simply head to the settings page and select ‘Your Time On Facebook’ Or ‘Your Activity’ on Instagram. At the top is a dashboard showing average time in-app on the device you are using. Below is an option to set a daily reminder that will alert you when you’ve been spending too much time on Facebook or Instagram.

Let’s Use This Tool To Our Advantage

We might as well take this new offering from Facebook and use it to our advantage. First, how about a simple weeklong experiment where we don’t change a thing. We use the social media platform as we normally would, and at the end of the week, we check our stats. But before we check, let’s take a guess and see if we are anywhere close to that guess or way outside of it. Regardless of what you may have guessed, it still might inspire you to make a change and cut down, or even drastically limit the amount of time you are spending.

What if you were spending 8 hours a week on the book, would that be enough time to inspire you to make a change? What would you do with that extra time?

Why Should You Limit Your Time?

If you’re thinking, I generally get enjoyment from Facebook and I love seeing pictures of my friends, family, nieces/nephews, grandkids etc., I wouldn’t want to miss out. I’m curious to know how much of that time is actually spent looking at these pictures, versus the endless scroll, in which one is searching for these things? If we limited our screen time, we make more time for real life interactions, more time in nature, more time to ourselves, time to nurture ourselves, time to try something new, time to clean out that closet, time to pick up a new hobby or read a new book and actually learn something.

When you do go on to the platform, you can streamline your experience, by going directly to the pages of your closest friends and family and see if they have posted anything new. You can do this with your favorite pages too, like Collective Evolution. This is a much better way to ensure you are actually seeing the latest content from these pages. Often on Facebook, you only see what they want you to see. There Are Many Ways You Can Get Your News Without Using Facebook.

Much Love

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So far, the response to this interview has been off the charts as people are calling it the most concise update of what's happening in our world today.

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5 Ways The Money System Keeps You Trapped

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Money as survival, living off grid and a money free world are terms that are being bandied around more and more as people become aware of the systemic trap we’ve all been indoctrinated into.

When you look at the patterns of how the money-as-survival system plays out, you realize its efficacy lies in how thoroughly it hamstrings you from every angle.

Today we’re going to briefly unpack five of the ways that the money system manages to keep you trapped, even though you may be making moves towards trying to get out of it.

1. A short cycle of 1-month

Time is a very artificial construct, once you get into it.

The only real measure of time we have is a day, and we mark that because we see the sun rise and set. It’s the contrast of the light and darkness that so effectively delineates the measure of time in a day.

There’s no such obvious marker however for weeks and months. Some would argue that you could use the moon and seasonal cycles, but those would vary according to where you are in the world, and if that’s true, then June in the Northern Hemisphere would have to become December in the Southern Hemisphere.

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The purpose of that sidetrack is to lay the background for the idea that month-end is an artificially generated construct.

Nothing actually happens if you don’t pay by a specific date – well nothing of cosmic significance anyway. There are no cases of people getting struck by lightning for skipping bill payments… *smiles*

The biggest problem with this artificial cycle that concludes in month end, is that it is really a short cycle.

You quickly fall into the trap of living month-to-month, hand-to-mouth, with the idea that you’ll make it through the end of this month and then start the long-term stuff next month.

But next month never comes, does it?

You just get stuck in this loop of generating just enough money to make it to month-end, so that you can breathe for a day or two, and feel a bit rested before you launch into something bigger that could yield long-term results.

You get focused on completing shorter projects so that you can meet your immediate expenses, because if you don’t meet those then long term doesn’t really matter.

2. You don’t get enough time or rest

And you make it to next month, but when you get there, you’re still tired… and it always seems to be very close to when you have to make sure you can cover the next set of bills that is due.

You decide to rush through a few projects to make time for the long-term project that will yield results, or you spend time on the longer term project first…. either way, when it comes to balancing the other end of the scale, later on, you’re tired, and already starting to feel burnt out, as well as the looming pressure of month end.

And if you can just make it through month end, well then, next month maybe you’ll get time to sort this all out properly?

But you don’t get the time – and you don’t get the time to rest either. You’re running on empty, exhausted, and firing on maybe 40 to 80% of your cylinders… if you’re lucky.

So, even if you do find time to work on “the big thing”, you’re only doing it with half a brain.

The rest of your brain is wrapped in worrying about what you have to get done, how much money you have to generate, and what you can do to get there; so much so, in fact, that you are never truly present when you’re working – or when you’re resting.

It’s that constant inner voice chatter that becomes your worst enemy when you try to rest as well: yes, you take the time and rest your physical body, but your mind just keeps spinning and spinning and spinning, like a broken record.

And because you’re never firing on all cylinders, you never quite reach that great idea that could actually maybe pull you out of this mess.

Or you get the idea and you miss it, or just plain don’t have the energy to actually do anything about realizing it.

3. Constant low-grade stress

All of that inner voice chatter is a constant low-grade buzz – a stressor that eats away at the back of your mind, wearing you down and draining you over the long term.

You get even more tired and feel less inclined to find the time and energy to make that “big thing” happen.

You start feeling powerless to do anything in fact – but that’s okay: you’re usually too tired to notice.

This all-pervading tiredness further reinforces the pattern of “doing enough for month end so that I can rest before the next big surge.”

Over time, “enough to get by” is all you eventually seem to do.

4. Shame and failure

Hopelessness never comes alone: it travels with its friends, shame and failure.

The more and more we feel like we’re failing, the more we keep that information private, to ourselves.

When you do ego mitigation work, one of the powerful realizations you’ll come to is that anything only ever has power over you when you keep it private. You never fear something that is already known – this is why we hide things about ourselves.

Read more on ego mitigation here.

Out of shame, people stay private about their money issues: not just you, but also the people around you.

As a result, when we benchmark against others in our minds, we are really benchmarking against our imagination – and our imaginations love to paint a grass-is-greener scenario when we do that.

So on top of the hopelessness and powerlessness that we are already feeling, every time we think about how others are doing, we see ourselves as failures by comparison.

If you repeatedly tell yourself that you are a failure, thousands of times every month, you will eventually feel like a failure. When that happens, you will approach every situation expecting to fail.

When you’re convinced that something is doomed to fail from the start, well why should you even bother putting any effort into it?

5. Bad Habits

If you do anything repeatedly, it will become normal to you, and a habit. This is what we mean by something becoming “subconscious”.

Once you’re stuck in that cycle of “making it to month end,” and you’ve allowed it to become entrenched for a few months, you establish all these patterns as your default habits, your default reactions and behaviours.

From the moment you step onto that “getting by” carousel, it’s almost impossible to step off, and the entire system just repeatedly drags you further and further down, until you just give up hope of ever getting it right.

The question that really stands out for me with the money situation and the 99% is this: the 99% means that the system is guaranteed to fail 99% of those who participate.

Why do we still accept this as the only way to live? Why do we accept a way of life that guarantees that so many of us will become depressed and fail?

Free David Wilcock Screening: Disclosure & The Fall of the Cabal

We interviewed David about what is happening within the cabal and disclosure. He shared some incredible insight that is insanely relevant to today.

So far, the response to this interview has been off the charts as people are calling it the most concise update of what's happening in our world today.

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Solar Eclipse In Leo: Evolving Our Authentic Self-Expression

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We are having a partial Solar Eclipse in Leo on August 11th, 2018 which will be the third and final eclipse of this Summer. This is a supercharged New Moon which influences a longer-term period. It will be visible from Russia, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Northeastern Quebec, Greenland, Iceland, and Northeastern Asia.

Prior to this, we have had a Solar Eclipse in Cancer on July 12th/13th and a Total Lunar Eclipse in Aquarius on July 27th/28th happening in the same eclipse season. Solar Eclipses influence the following 6 months while Lunar Eclipses influence the following 1-3 months. However, they are part of a process that began in May 2017 when the Lunar Nodes entered the Leo-Aquarius axis which will last until this November. (Read more about the previous eclipses here).

The Eclipses and the Nodes in these signs are part of an evolutionary process in how we work with these energies. What results from this period will have longer-term effects even beyond this 18 month period.

The North Node has been in Leo, and this pushes us towards new directions in how we express Leo energies, while the South Node is in Aquarius which is more about what we need to let go of in how we express the areas represented by that sign. However, we can experience both beginnings and endings with both.

Solar Eclipse Conjunct Mercury Retrograde In Leo

Similarly to last summer, we have both a Solar Eclipse and Mercury Retrograde occurring in the same sign of Leo. This really emphasizes the re-working and adjustments of how we apply its energy in our lives. It is about how we want to shine in the world, our creative energy, and how we self-express from the heart.

Leo is associated with affection, children, courage, leadership, generosity, and playfulness. It is also about our vitality, passion, and being in alignment with what really lights us up and gets us excited. It is about how we seek praise and attention. The best way to approach that is to be our authentic and heart centred version of ourselves; whether it be in our creations, how we perform, or how we express other Leo traits previously mentioned.

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The negative expressions of Leo can be egotistical, authoritarian, dramatic, stubborn, jealous, and hot-tempered.  It can demand respect without earning it and be too loud and boisterous without considering or caring about how others respond to that. However, the more we are working with Leo energy positively, we will attract a more positive and supporting response from those on the receiving end.

This process is about really tuning in to how we shine and express ourselves at our best. It is also about considering how we want to be seen in the world, yet, without being overly occupied with ideas of how we can get the most attention and praise. It can be good to take actions towards how we want to stand out, but it’s important to balance that out with our true authentic higher expression of who we already are.

On August 8th and 9th, Mercury retrograde made its exact conjunction with the Sun which is an important part of the retrograde process known as the ‘inferior conjunction’. Certain things that occurred during this period can help you have a realization in how you need to apply yourself over the coming months.

Reflect on your thoughts, conversations, insights, circumstances, and any other messages or realizations you received from the Universe at that time. Perhaps there was something that triggered you or got your attention? Whatever it was, it is partly connected to whatever shifts that this eclipse is triggering in your life.

Solar Eclipse and Mercury Retrograde Square Jupiter

Both the Eclipse and Mercury retrograde are in a square with Jupiter which ended its retrograde in Scorpio a month prior. Some of the Leo themes mentioned above, and what occurred on August 8th/9th, could somehow be connected to Jupiter ruled areas. This may have to do with an adjustment or developments connected to your beliefs, ideals, faith, and understandings. Perhaps it can be about having realizations of our blind spots or deeper truths.

There can be some sort of expansive energy around our self-expression or in the way we think. Maybe this can be connected to plans or developments around education, travel, marketing, teaching, and publishing. In some cases, it could have something to do with financial matters or sexuality. Whatever it is, it may be connected to something that was initiated in March, July, or sometime in between them.

This energy can also scatter our minds and communications. Mercury is also in a quincunx with Neptune which triggers confusion, distractions, and miscommunications. Our thoughts and conversations might also be at odds with our ideals, dreams, fantasies, illusions, or an expression of escapism.

Jupiter is making its final trine with Neptune in Pisces which began late November/December and was also strong in mid-late May. This can be great for any growth and expansiveness around spirituality, creativity, as well as selfless and compassionate pursuits. This can also be good for anything that involves visual arts, video, and photography.

Some people could have mystical experiences and perhaps some learning can occur through our dreams or connections to spiritual realms. This can be a time of heightened sensitivity. Considering that Mercury is in the process of changing motion when this energy is strongest (from August 14th – 23rd), it’s likely that the potential manifestations of this period will play a role in any clarity that we receive in how we need to move to proceed as Mercury begins moving forward after August 19th.

Mars Retrograde Going In Capricorn

As discussed in previous articles, Mars has been retrograde since late June and will last until August 27th, just after the next Full Moon. Most of it has been occurring in Aquarius, however, less than 2 days after this eclipse it re-enters Capricorn. Over these coming weeks, there could also be adjustments and developments in how we apply ourselves within the Capricorn realm.

It could be connected to our careers, responsibilities, goals, and overall ambitions. Perhaps revisiting how we can assert ourselves in a more orderly, practical, productive, conservative, masterful, structured, and disciplined way. Aquarius is about our social connections, while Capricorn is about resourcefulness, therefore this retrograde can be about how we utilize our social network and teamwork in pursuing our shared goals.

Making Intentions And Things To Consider

What is your heart calling on you to create? How can you express yourself as authentically as possible? What are you passionate about and how can you share that with the world? What has come up for you in the days leading up to this eclipse? What adjustments do you need to make in order to help you fulfill your heart’s desires?

What can you do to bring more joy into your life? How can you be a better leader and/or lover? What are the practical considerations at this time to help you fulfill your passions? What adjustments need to be made with your social network to assist you in fulfilling your goals?

These are just some examples of what to consider during this time. However, keep in mind that the energies of this eclipse will also be a part of the backdrop over the coming months. If you wish to make any intentions, it is generally best to do so within the first 24 hours following the New Moon. However, with this one specifically, it is most ideal to wait 18 hours after the exact moment of it when it occurs. The exact time of this New Moon will be at 9:58am Universal Time on August 11th. You can click here to see what that is in your time zone.

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Looking for insight on how this period is affecting you? Or perhaps looking to better understand your life and its potentials? Get a personalized astrology reading with Carmen (author of this article) specific to you based on your exact birth date, time, and location. Click here for more information or to order.

 

Free David Wilcock Screening: Disclosure & The Fall of the Cabal

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So far, the response to this interview has been off the charts as people are calling it the most concise update of what's happening in our world today.

Watch the interview here.
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