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How I Discovered Unconditional Love & How It Changed My Life

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It’s been a year since we parted ways. This relationship has been significant in my life. It was the first time I moved out of my mom’s place to move in with a partner. Throughout those 3 years I not only experienced a loving and fun relationship, but I also made a best friend. He was the first person who saw me for me and loved me for me, despite our differences. Our relationship quickly felt like a safe haven for me, I felt protected. I felt loved even when I couldn’t love myself. And I loved him just as much. I grew comfortable enough that I began to settle for the idea of comfort and consistency more than the idea of change and movement. I didn’t realize how strongly I secluded myself from the world and from myself because of this “comfort zone”… until our relationship fell apart.

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It took a few weeks for me register that we would no longer be together, that I would have to move out of the space we shared, leave Toronto and go back to my mom’s place in Montreal, all while having no single clue where I was headed. I was swimming in the “scary” unknown. Those three years spent together became “life as I knew it.” They became my reference point, my world. I have built friendships there. I had a partner I could always count on. I lived this new life in Toronto and I didn’t plan to have it any other way anytime soon. But now, all of it was gone, just like that.

I was always one to preach about how everything happens for a reason, but this time, the mere concept in my head didn’t cut it. I was devastated. I freaked out.

  • Loss: I felt like I lost my best friend and the man I loved.
  • Rejection: I felt rejected by the man I thought loved me for me. “I guess me wasn’t enough after all.”
  • Feeling left out: My friends and him would continue hanging out as usual, yet I could no longer be a part of it. I moved far away and was no longer “in the picture.”
  • Feeling unloved and unimportant: I equated this whole experience with being less loved. “He broke up with me because he no longer loves me. I am no longer important to him.”
  • Feeling Alone: Because I felt unable to relate with most people in this world, losing the one partnership I felt like I could relate with brought me face-to-face with an extreme feeling of loneliness.

For months, I was still trying to mentally pick up all of the pieces and stick them back together. I would call him in tears and pity myself wondering why no one ever called me. “Weren’t we the closest friends just a month ago? What happened?” I would say. I could not bare how rejected I felt. I felt like a victim. My love was intimately tied in to a feeling of bitterness and blame towards him for how he managed to dig up all of my darkness. And he left me alone with it.

For a while, I tried to control my pain by controlling my relationships. At times, I tried to squeeze out any bit of love and acknowledgment I could get from virtual or phone conversations with him and sometime others… But every bit I could get came with an aftertaste of my own inability to be at peace and in love with myself, with my own inability to just love unconditionally.

And this… this is why we needed to break up.

I needed to grow up. I needed to first and foremost accept the current condition of my emotional state (rejection issues, fear of loss, aloneness, powerlessness) without solely reacting to and blaming the circumstances. Without trying to patch it up with something or someone. I couldn’t patch it up anyways, and this was a true blessing disguised as deprivation. Besides, I carried this baggage long before I entered any relationship in life. Relationships simply brought them to my awareness. This baggage was mine to carry, and mine to let go of.

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“If you cannot be at ease with yourself when alone, you will seek a relationship to cover up your unease.  You can be sure that the unease will then reappear in some other form within the relationship, and you will probably hold your partner responsible for it.” – Eckhart Tolle

This was no longer a matter of REcovering from a breakup, but about UNcovering myself from all of the limiting beliefs and thoughts that have made my world more narrow, my relationships more narrow, and my perspective more narrow.

  • When I expect my relationships to be a certain way before I can love and be at peace
  • When I rely on someone else to feel comfortable in my own skin
  • When I refuse to accept the transient nature of experiences and rely on predictability
  • When I live my life in fear of change

And more specifically…

  • When I define love as some label, some “way it should look like,” some opposite of something else…

I forget what love is.

Love. Just. Is. 

ms04As time went by and I became too exhausted to hold on (not that we always have to wait until then lol) I finally gave up on reacting to everything and resisting the flow of my emotions. I had to accept, and so I did. By accepting not only the situation – but everything I felt – the dust gently settled. My emotions calmed. My thoughts quieted. I was able to sink back into the present moment and experience life as it was – not as I thought it should be. I could still hear the echoes of my ego telling me “hey, what are you doing? You need to stay in control here. You need to keep thinking about how you’re going to fix your life. You need to reach out for something or someone as soon as it gets uncomfortable.” 

But by that point, I had gained a certain level of maturity where I understood this would only throw me into the same cycle of endless reactions. Did I need to repeat this, or could I now learn my lesson and just let it be? I didn’t know where “letting things be” would lead me. It sounded directionless, not to mention it didn’t change my situation.  My ego did not like that, but my intuition knew it was what I needed to do.

As I let things be and chose to simply “not go” with the same old mind stories as they would try and taunt me, I soon realized it wasn’t love that hurt. It was the mind stories. It was the mental interpretations, meanings, beliefs and conditions I built around love, not love itself.

It didn’t hurt when I allowed myself to love:

  • It hurt when I told myself love was lost.
  • It hurt when I told myself I wasn’t loved.
  • It hurt when I told myself I couldn’t love.
  • It hurt when I told myself love should look this way or that way.
  • It hurt when I saw myself as separate from love.

By choosing to no longer feed those stories, I realized that Love isn’t really something we do or reach out for, it is something we are. And it is from this space that we are able to love truly.

“How we relate, or rather how well we love, depends on how empty we are of ideas, concepts, expectations.” – Kim Eng

Love & Attachment

Attachment, which we often confuse with love, is the subconscious act of “investing” your own inner-discomfort and emotional baggage in something or someone else to protect yourself from facing and feeling it. This is why we become possessive and dependent. This is why we tend to reduce the other to a “thing” we get addicted to. This is why we can go from loving to hating as soon as our partner pushes our buttons and triggers something uncomfortable within us. Attachment has to do with personal fears more than it has to do with loving someone.

Unconditional love, however, begins with the understanding that all of your relationships – even the challenging ones – have something to teach you. If they push your buttons, they are making you aware of your buttons. This may sound like a “bad” thing at first, but just a little step back can give enough perspective to realize that a button pusher is simply reminding you that you have the option to either stay with your issues and protect yourself from ever having to deal with them… or acknowledge them, see what they’re all about and perhaps work on letting them go. It becomes difficult to not love unconditionally when you lose the tendency to blame others for your own reactions. 😉

“There’s two ways to live your life:
1. You do everything you can to avoid the button pushers.
or 2. You get rid of your buttons and at last enjoy everything.”

Yes, it takes a lot of self-observation to get there… but all it takes to begin the journey is the will to turn your attention inwards when your sensitivities are brought to your awareness. That way, you no longer get caught up pointing fingers out there while dismissing the cue to work on releasing whatever is weighing you down.

Unconditional love is the kind of love that emerges naturally once you stop believing all the junk in your head telling you “you are not enough, you need this and that before you can feel peaceful, you need others to be a certain way before you can let them be etc.” As you let go of such thoughts – not by judging or fighting them but by simply releasing your grip on them – you naturally enter a state of peace and wholeness within yourself. You then get to feel for yourself that true love is not about what others can give you because you feel lack, it’s about the love you can share freely because you’re already complete.

“Love is about complete freedom. The freedom to be 100% oneself and give that same freedom to others.” – Franco DeNicola

Love has no opposites, no conditions, no rules, no separations. Such things exist only in our minds as concepts and ideas trying to shape something so immaterial, immeasurable and vast into a compact, solid shape. It may sound normal due to how we are taught relationships should be like. It may sound normal due to all of the definitions of love thrown around in movies and magazines… but once again: Love isn’t a definition. Love Is.

How This Changed My Life & Relationships

You would think letting go of chasing, controlling, needing and attaching to others would leave you lonely and unable to relate with people. But as I simply began to live in the present moment without struggling to change it, change others or change myself, not only did I begin to enjoy my own company – I actually began to attract more wonderful connections and relationships in my life. In this new state of being, I am now able to enjoy those relationships more fully for what they are because I no longer use them to fulfill a personal agenda.

Aw.

In fact, I am now closer than ever with my ex, who triggered this whole learning experience for me. Ever since I released my expectations, it became so easy to be friends once again. No resentment, no drama, simply an unconditional love and gratitude for everything that we are and have taught one another. I am now able to see more clearly the gem that each of my relationships have to offer: opportunities for growth, for both parties to identify their blockages and embody even more freedom within themselves. It doesn’t mean that I no longer have emotions, fears or feelings of attachment that come up, it only means that I am now able to see them for what they are and no longer identify myself with them. I am now back in the driver’s seat of my life, more able than ever before to experience and embrace all that life has to offer.

P.S. I love you.

How To Change The World

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Canadian Prime Minister Says We Won’t Return To Normal “Until A Vaccine Is Developed”

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Justin Trudeau expressed that things won't go back to 'normal' until a COVID-19 vaccine is developed."

  • Reflect On:

    Is a vaccine the only solution, or is something else going on here?

The push for a coronavirus vaccine continues strong, and the Prime Minister of Canada, Justin Trudeau, recently emphasized that point by saying Canadians will remain on ‘lockdown’ for potentially several months, and that what we here in Canada are experiencing “is the new normal, until a vaccine is developed.” (source) This sentiment recently shared by Trudeau echoes what Bill Gates recently stated in a Fox News interview, stating that we wont go back to “normal until” a vaccine has “gotten out to the entire world.” You can read more about that comment here, and watch him say it.

In that article, I wrote about vaccine hesitancy, how it’s grown and has gotten to the point where the World Health Organization has labelled it one of the biggest threats to public health. Whether or not that’s true, is up for you to decide. If vaccines were completely safe and effective for everybody, there wouldn’t be a growing number of physicians standing up for informed consent. Some high-profile speakers at the World Health Organization’s recent Global Vaccine Safety Summit also highlighted the fact that scientists and doctors are now skeptical about vaccines, yet despite this fact, anybody who shares any concerns about vaccines, or presents science showing that vaccines aren’t as safe as they’re marketed to be is instantly labelled as “anti-vaccine” by the mainstream media. Why are the many concerns that are being raised never addressed and rebutted, why are they simply ridiculed? And why is there a growing a mount of doctors and scientists who are questioning vaccine safety?

Professor Heidi Larson, a Professor of Anthropology and the Risk and Decision Scientist Director at the Vaccine Confidence Projec emphasized at the WHO conference this point:

The other thing that’s a trend, and an issue, is not just confidence in providers but confidence of health care providers, we have a very wobbly health professional frontline that is starting to question vaccines and the safety of vaccines. That’s a huge problem, because to this day any study I’ve seen–and we’re constantly looking at any studies in this space–still, the most trusted person on any study I’ve seen globally is the health care provider.

The vaccine discussion is a big one, with a lot of information so I’m not going to go into it entirely here as I’ve already done so with many of my articles.

Why are media outlets like Collective Evolution being censored, demonetized, silenced and having our social media platform distribution cut dramatically for simply sharing information? Why are awareness articles that are properly sourced and present the opinions and studies of various scientists and doctors flagged as “false news?”

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When it comes to such events, the national security state always seems to become even more heightened, and it seems that our basic human rights are constantly stripped from us. We saw it with the war on terror, and experts in the field like William Binney,  a former high ranking intelligence official with the National Security Agency (NSA) and one of the highest placed intelligence officials to ever blow the whistle on NSA surveillance programs, for example. He is one of many who have expressed that surveillance was not conducted with the intention of protecting humanity, it’s simply for total population control. This conclusion is not just the opinion of experts like him, but it’s one that many like me have come to after diving into false flag terrorism for years.

I personally believe we are seeing the same thing with regards to this coronavirus pandemic. It will be used politically to take more measures that serve the national security state by stripping us away of more rights and freedoms, under the guise of good will, kind of like what is happening now. Furthermore, the corporations that exercise complete control over the governments will take advantage, pushing hard that the only solution is a vaccine. And that’s what we’re seeing now.

One of the latest experts to share an opinion that counters what we’re seeing within the ‘mainstream’ comes from Dr. Sucharit Bhakdi, a specialist in microbiology and one of the most cited research scientists in German history. He called these measures “draconian.” But there are many in the field who have expressed the same thing.  Bhakdi created a Youtube channel on March 18th, and has since posted four videos that have received more than one million views, total, in a very short span of time.

I wanted to keep this article short. If you wanted to get up to date with our perspective regarding the new coronavirus, we’ve covered it from multiple angles and you can refer to the articles posted below if you’re interested in going more in-depth.

CE Articles That Go More In Depth Regarding The Coronavirus

Bill Gates: We Won’t Go Back To “Normal Until” A Vaccine Has “Gotten Out To The Entire World

US Coronavirus Model Drops Predicted Deaths Down To Approximately 60,000 People

Coronavirus Deaths May Be Miscalculated

Donald Trump Says The Coronavirus Was “Artificially Induced”

Conscious Truth Behind Coronavirus Lockdown

Confirmed: High-Dose Vitamin C Has Successfully Treated 50 Moderate to Severe COVID-19 Patients

Renowned Microbiology Specialist On Why He Believes Coronavirus Measures Are “Draconian” (Video)

Updates On The New Coronavirus Vaccine – Are You Going To Take It? Will It Be Mandatory?

Multiple Stanford Medical Professors Question If COVID-19 Is Really “As Deadly As They Say”

Renowned German Pulmonologist Questions Coronavirus Measures & If They’re Necessary (Video)

Spring Has Sprung In Sweden With No Coronavirus Quarantine Or Police Enforced Lockdown

LA Doctor: COVID-19 Patients Go From ‘Very Ill’ To ‘Symptom-Free’ In 8 To 12 Hours With Hydroxychloroquine & Zinc

 

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Consciousness

Feeling Overwhelmed With All That’s Taking Place? Maybe This Can Help

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Sometimes in life, we can become overwhelmed with all that is taking place. Couple this with an increased shift in consciousness taking place, and it can sometimes feel a little 'crazy to get through each day.

  • Reflect On:

    Are you taking time to reflect and understand yourself? How about others? There is no doubt that we are experiencing a great deal of change, the question is are we meeting that change with open arms? Or resisting?

One of the best things about what we do here, I feel at least, is our ability to share personal experiences that others can draw from and share in the feeling of being in this all together. Let’s be honest, if we didn’t have others to share thoughts, feelings and emotions with, we would probably all go nuts in this shift!

I can say this for my fellow team members as well I am sure, we are all going through our own massive shifts and individually are all having a bumpy ride at times. Sometimes, it just gets a little overwhelming and becomes difficult to handle.

When we think of how much of a large-scale shift/change we are experiencing, we begin to realize how much is and will change, physically and mentally, in such a short period of time within our world. It almost seems like everything speeding up, and it’s tough to handle everything at once.

Energy that our bodies have not experienced much of are coming in all the time from the cosmos, and as we make changes within our own personal consciousness.

Mentally we are going from being very stuck and ingrained in our ways and beliefs, to realizing and remembering the truth of our entire existence and it’s purpose. Who we truly are. This truth may not be clear immediately when we are in the thick of challenges, but life is presenting change many ways for us all individually and collectively.

As we experience times of mental confusion or un-ease, we the chance, with awareness and willingness, to break out of some of the ‘stuck states’ many of us find ourselves in. To do this, we must take the time to reflect on what is taking place and our life, and slow things down.

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Uncomfortable?

When the times are uncomfortable and it just seems like it is too much to handle; seeing the world the way it is, watching as we are so disconnected from everything, realizing the differences we have created between one another, feeling like this is just not happening fast enough, and feeling like we cannot help, remember that you are changing – WE are changing.

It is happening very quickly and in many ways all of which may bring up frustration in each and every one of us. Remember to steer clear of creating drama surrounding things that may present, this drama comes from the mind and ego and is not the true self. We can use what the mind and ego has brought up to see what might need to be cleared out within ourselves.

Avoid covering up everything with affirmations and false smiles, this only band-aids the challenges and hides what actually needs to be looked at. Unfortunately, much of the “new age movement” has created some powerful beliefs around band-aiding or spiritual bypassing problems with what we think is “positivity.” Face your problems and your fears, don’t cover them up and pretend its just astral energies. own it, this is how we move forward. This also does not mean we should be reckless and lash out, venting our frustration, it simply means we must take time to be aware, be alone if need be and go easy on ourselves.

Not one of us is alone in this shift, and not one of us will see it pass by without having change take place in our experiences. Feel the knowing that we are collectively in this together, and take note of that when we see what may be presenting in others before we judge them.

My Conscious Breathing Program

Back in January 2020 I released my 10 day Conscious Breathing program to our member’s platform called CETV. The program was enjoyed by a few thousand people and the feedback was inspiring and powerful. People were seeing a big difference in their overall state of being, mood, energy and sleep. Breathing exercises are powerful in bringing peace and calm to our minds, bodies and states of being because they help bring us back to presence and physiological states of calm.

Click here to get access to my Conscious Breathing program.

Please share this course with others as I feel it can benefit many people at this time.

If you get something out of this challenge and wish to support our work, please consider becoming a member of CETV here.  Members also get access to our members-only discussion platform called CE Connect.

If you wish to enjoy the course without any payment, that is 100% fine as I see simply engaging with these practices as helping achieve my overall desire of helping to make the world a more peaceful place.

 

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Alternative News

US Coronavirus Model Drops Predicted Deaths Down To Approximately 60,000 People

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    The Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation, a research organization at the University of Washington, have revised their prediction based on updated data to approximately 60,000 deaths in the United States as a result of the new coronavirus.

  • Reflect On:

    Were the measures that governments took necessary? Should they have the ability and power to take away our rights and freedoms, and in some cases, our ability to go outside?

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According the  Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), there were approximately 45 million cases of the flu in the United States during the 2017-2018 influenza season, which resulted in nearly one million flu-associated hospitalizations and an estimated total of 61,000 deaths associated with the flu. It begs the question, did this overwhelm our hospitals that year? When it comes to the new coronavirus, the White House recently expressed that the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation (IHME), a research organization at the University of Washington, have revised their prediction based on updated data to approximately 60,000 deaths in the United States as a result of the new corona virus, out of 327,000,000 Americans.

Keep in mind, this is not a comparison to the flu, at all, this is simply a prediction of numbers. If  the coronavirus ends up killing just as many people as the flu in the United States, that still doesn’t mean it’s the same.

This is encouraging, given that just last week, the White House was suggesting that up to 200,000 American citizens will die from the new coronavirus. The briefing included projections between 100,000 and 200,000 as a possible best-case scenario but obviously, this isn’t the case anymore. It’s also a dramatic drop from predictions that were ranging in the millions when the virus first started to make its way around the globe, causing fear, panic and hysteria, something many people are still experiencing today as a result of, I would say, media.

Another common theme that’s floating around right now is when people can take antibody tests, for those who desire to do so, because as you probably already know, the new coronavirus can still be present in someone who is asymptomatic. This has many experts suggesting that the total infection rate in the United States and globally is most probably significantly higher than what the numbers are showing. This means that the final death rate will most likely be much lower than what is and will be reported.

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Experts in the field have suggested that an accurate death rate will most likely match that of the common seasonal flu.  As soon as the World Health Organization put out a case fatality rate of 3.4% for the new coronavirus, multiple academics jumped in and criticized the projection. Three medical professors from Stanford University were among the first to do so. According to an article recently published in the New England Journal of Medicine by Dr. Anthony S. Fauci, Dr. H. Clifford Lane, and Dr. Robert R. Redfield,  the case fatality rate may be less than one percent, and the clinical consequences of Covid-19 may be more similar to that of a severe seasonal influenza. You can read more about that and access that specific article, here.

Not only has the infection rate come under scrutiny, but so has the death rate. There is ample evidence suggesting that the number of deaths attributed to the new coronavirus have not actually come as a direct result of the coronavirus, that coronavirus deaths may actually be miscalculated.  I recently published an article about going into the evidence and providing more detail on that, you can read it here if interested.

So, at the end of the day, we may be looking at a higher infection rate, and a lower death rate than what the numbers show. This begs the question, are the actions multiple governments have taken at all justified?  Dr. Sucharit Bhakdi, a specialist in microbiology and one of the most cited research scientists in German history recently shared his thoughts on the measures that are being taken to combat the new coronavirus. He called them “draconian” and unnecessary, and explained why, to him, they don’t make any sense at all. You can read more about that and watch his video here.

It does make you think, doesn’t it? It’s even more of a head scratcher when people are being censored and deemed as ‘false news’ for simply sharing their opinion, like Dr. Ron Paul, who recently stated,

People should ask themselves whether this coronavirus “pandemic” could be a big hoax, with the actual danger of the disease massively exaggerated by those who seek to profit – financially or politically – from the ensuing panic.

That is not to say the disease is harmless. Without question people will die from coronavirus. Those in vulnerable categories should take precautions to limit their risk of exposure. But we have seen this movie before. Government over-hypes a threat as an excuse to grab more of our freedoms. When the “threat” is over, however, they never give us our freedoms back. (source)

One more thing that I must mention is with regards to the treatment. Events like the coronavirus are a great way to see what governments really care about. This was even more evident not only by the information above, but by the fact that successful treatments were not, and are not receiving much attention from the mainstream media. We have written about that in depth as well, you can see a few examples here, as well as here if you desire more information about that and what specific treatments we are talking about.

Meanwhile, Bill Gates can come on television and state that things won’t go back to normal until a vaccine has reached the entire world. But is this even true?

It begs the question, do our authorities and health care system/pharmaceutical companies actually prioritize our health? Or are they simply in it to turn a profit, among other things? Are our systems that surround us actually designed with the intention to protect us, and treat us? Or is something else going on here?

Are events like these simply used, created, heightened and capitalized on to usher in ‘bigger brother?’ A heightened national security state, one where our rights and freedoms are continually stripped from us, while many agree with the justification to do so as a result of massive propaganda? Similar to what we’ve seen with “the war on terror?”

These are just questions, and as time continues to pass they become more and more relevant, which is why asking these questions has now come under intense scrutiny.

The Bigger Picture

I believe events like this coronavirus pandemic, and others like 9/11 for example, are part of humanities natural evolution. I believe they are happening more frequently now in order to ‘wake up’ even more people, because that’s just what they do. At the end of the day, this pandemic will serve humanity more so than it hurts it, because when it comes down to it, the number of deaths and infections as a result of the new coronavirus won’t be to different from all of the other coronaviruses in circulation, which in itself will make people question just what has happened here. Scientists were able to see it early on, and there will be more publications like the paper recently published in The International Journal of Antimicrobial Agents titled “SARS-CoV-2: fear versus data which stated  “that the problem of SARS-CoV-2 is probably being overestimated.” (source) The next question is, was the problem being over-estimated purposefully so a powerful group of people could propose the solution? This kind of thinking is far from a conspiracy theory.

At the end of the day, events like this make us question whether this is really the type of human experience we want to participate in? Why do we continue electing people? Why do we believe that powerful corporations will take care of our health? Why do we believe that one person or group of people can change the world? Why do we keep putting our power in the hands of the few and expecting them to make some sort of significant change on the planet? Why do we believe that electing a certain president will ever solve the real problems humanity faces today? Why are we all still participating and agreeing? Why do we constantly look to our governments for answers and solutions? Why do we continue to believe them? And why are we so easily manipulated and controlled to the point where mainstream media can control our thoughts, perception and emotions about certain events over, and over and over? Is it getting to a point where it’s a “do what we say” or else, type of existence, under the guise that those instructions are necessary for the greater good?

Manipulation and deception can only continue as long as we allow it, and the manipulation and deception we’ve faced with regards to this ‘pandemic’ again, will only serve and help more people question our current paradigm.

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