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How I Discovered Unconditional Love & How It Changed My Life

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It’s been a year since we parted ways. This relationship has been significant in my life. It was the first time I moved out of my mom’s place to move in with a partner. Throughout those 3 years I not only experienced a loving and fun relationship, but I also made a best friend. He was the first person who saw me for me and loved me for me, despite our differences. Our relationship quickly felt like a safe haven for me, I felt protected. I felt loved even when I couldn’t love myself. And I loved him just as much. I grew comfortable enough that I began to settle for the idea of comfort and consistency more than the idea of change and movement. I didn’t realize how strongly I secluded myself from the world and from myself because of this “comfort zone”… until our relationship fell apart.

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It took a few weeks for me register that we would no longer be together, that I would have to move out of the space we shared, leave Toronto and go back to my mom’s place in Montreal, all while having no single clue where I was headed. I was swimming in the “scary” unknown. Those three years spent together became “life as I knew it.” They became my reference point, my world. I have built friendships there. I had a partner I could always count on. I lived this new life in Toronto and I didn’t plan to have it any other way anytime soon. But now, all of it was gone, just like that.

I was always one to preach about how everything happens for a reason, but this time, the mere concept in my head didn’t cut it. I was devastated. I freaked out.

  • Loss: I felt like I lost my best friend and the man I loved.
  • Rejection: I felt rejected by the man I thought loved me for me. “I guess me wasn’t enough after all.”
  • Feeling left out: My friends and him would continue hanging out as usual, yet I could no longer be a part of it. I moved far away and was no longer “in the picture.”
  • Feeling unloved and unimportant: I equated this whole experience with being less loved. “He broke up with me because he no longer loves me. I am no longer important to him.”
  • Feeling Alone: Because I felt unable to relate with most people in this world, losing the one partnership I felt like I could relate with brought me face-to-face with an extreme feeling of loneliness.

For months, I was still trying to mentally pick up all of the pieces and stick them back together. I would call him in tears and pity myself wondering why no one ever called me. “Weren’t we the closest friends just a month ago? What happened?” I would say. I could not bare how rejected I felt. I felt like a victim. My love was intimately tied in to a feeling of bitterness and blame towards him for how he managed to dig up all of my darkness. And he left me alone with it.

For a while, I tried to control my pain by controlling my relationships. At times, I tried to squeeze out any bit of love and acknowledgment I could get from virtual or phone conversations with him and sometime others… But every bit I could get came with an aftertaste of my own inability to be at peace and in love with myself, with my own inability to just love unconditionally.

And this… this is why we needed to break up.

I needed to grow up. I needed to first and foremost accept the current condition of my emotional state (rejection issues, fear of loss, aloneness, powerlessness) without solely reacting to and blaming the circumstances. Without trying to patch it up with something or someone. I couldn’t patch it up anyways, and this was a true blessing disguised as deprivation. Besides, I carried this baggage long before I entered any relationship in life. Relationships simply brought them to my awareness. This baggage was mine to carry, and mine to let go of.

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“If you cannot be at ease with yourself when alone, you will seek a relationship to cover up your unease.  You can be sure that the unease will then reappear in some other form within the relationship, and you will probably hold your partner responsible for it.” – Eckhart Tolle

This was no longer a matter of REcovering from a breakup, but about UNcovering myself from all of the limiting beliefs and thoughts that have made my world more narrow, my relationships more narrow, and my perspective more narrow.

  • When I expect my relationships to be a certain way before I can love and be at peace
  • When I rely on someone else to feel comfortable in my own skin
  • When I refuse to accept the transient nature of experiences and rely on predictability
  • When I live my life in fear of change

And more specifically…

  • When I define love as some label, some “way it should look like,” some opposite of something else…

I forget what love is.

Love. Just. Is. 

ms04As time went by and I became too exhausted to hold on (not that we always have to wait until then lol) I finally gave up on reacting to everything and resisting the flow of my emotions. I had to accept, and so I did. By accepting not only the situation – but everything I felt – the dust gently settled. My emotions calmed. My thoughts quieted. I was able to sink back into the present moment and experience life as it was – not as I thought it should be. I could still hear the echoes of my ego telling me “hey, what are you doing? You need to stay in control here. You need to keep thinking about how you’re going to fix your life. You need to reach out for something or someone as soon as it gets uncomfortable.” 

But by that point, I had gained a certain level of maturity where I understood this would only throw me into the same cycle of endless reactions. Did I need to repeat this, or could I now learn my lesson and just let it be? I didn’t know where “letting things be” would lead me. It sounded directionless, not to mention it didn’t change my situation.  My ego did not like that, but my intuition knew it was what I needed to do.

As I let things be and chose to simply “not go” with the same old mind stories as they would try and taunt me, I soon realized it wasn’t love that hurt. It was the mind stories. It was the mental interpretations, meanings, beliefs and conditions I built around love, not love itself.

It didn’t hurt when I allowed myself to love:

  • It hurt when I told myself love was lost.
  • It hurt when I told myself I wasn’t loved.
  • It hurt when I told myself I couldn’t love.
  • It hurt when I told myself love should look this way or that way.
  • It hurt when I saw myself as separate from love.

By choosing to no longer feed those stories, I realized that Love isn’t really something we do or reach out for, it is something we are. And it is from this space that we are able to love truly.

“How we relate, or rather how well we love, depends on how empty we are of ideas, concepts, expectations.” – Kim Eng

Love & Attachment

Attachment, which we often confuse with love, is the subconscious act of “investing” your own inner-discomfort and emotional baggage in something or someone else to protect yourself from facing and feeling it. This is why we become possessive and dependent. This is why we tend to reduce the other to a “thing” we get addicted to. This is why we can go from loving to hating as soon as our partner pushes our buttons and triggers something uncomfortable within us. Attachment has to do with personal fears more than it has to do with loving someone.

Unconditional love, however, begins with the understanding that all of your relationships – even the challenging ones – have something to teach you. If they push your buttons, they are making you aware of your buttons. This may sound like a “bad” thing at first, but just a little step back can give enough perspective to realize that a button pusher is simply reminding you that you have the option to either stay with your issues and protect yourself from ever having to deal with them… or acknowledge them, see what they’re all about and perhaps work on letting them go. It becomes difficult to not love unconditionally when you lose the tendency to blame others for your own reactions. 😉

“There’s two ways to live your life:
1. You do everything you can to avoid the button pushers.
or 2. You get rid of your buttons and at last enjoy everything.”

Yes, it takes a lot of self-observation to get there… but all it takes to begin the journey is the will to turn your attention inwards when your sensitivities are brought to your awareness. That way, you no longer get caught up pointing fingers out there while dismissing the cue to work on releasing whatever is weighing you down.

Unconditional love is the kind of love that emerges naturally once you stop believing all the junk in your head telling you “you are not enough, you need this and that before you can feel peaceful, you need others to be a certain way before you can let them be etc.” As you let go of such thoughts – not by judging or fighting them but by simply releasing your grip on them – you naturally enter a state of peace and wholeness within yourself. You then get to feel for yourself that true love is not about what others can give you because you feel lack, it’s about the love you can share freely because you’re already complete.

“Love is about complete freedom. The freedom to be 100% oneself and give that same freedom to others.” – Franco DeNicola

Love has no opposites, no conditions, no rules, no separations. Such things exist only in our minds as concepts and ideas trying to shape something so immaterial, immeasurable and vast into a compact, solid shape. It may sound normal due to how we are taught relationships should be like. It may sound normal due to all of the definitions of love thrown around in movies and magazines… but once again: Love isn’t a definition. Love Is.

How This Changed My Life & Relationships

You would think letting go of chasing, controlling, needing and attaching to others would leave you lonely and unable to relate with people. But as I simply began to live in the present moment without struggling to change it, change others or change myself, not only did I begin to enjoy my own company – I actually began to attract more wonderful connections and relationships in my life. In this new state of being, I am now able to enjoy those relationships more fully for what they are because I no longer use them to fulfill a personal agenda.

Aw.

In fact, I am now closer than ever with my ex, who triggered this whole learning experience for me. Ever since I released my expectations, it became so easy to be friends once again. No resentment, no drama, simply an unconditional love and gratitude for everything that we are and have taught one another. I am now able to see more clearly the gem that each of my relationships have to offer: opportunities for growth, for both parties to identify their blockages and embody even more freedom within themselves. It doesn’t mean that I no longer have emotions, fears or feelings of attachment that come up, it only means that I am now able to see them for what they are and no longer identify myself with them. I am now back in the driver’s seat of my life, more able than ever before to experience and embrace all that life has to offer.

P.S. I love you.

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Alternative News

Hegelian Dialectic: A Tool To Enslave Humanity

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Hegelian thinking is built within our entire social and political structure and is a tool used to control perceptions withing society.

  • Reflect On:

    How much do we play into the elite and system in place simply by moving along with our lives as if everything is the status quo? How are we opting our consciousness out?

Hegelian thinking affects our entire social and political structure. The Hegelian dialectic is the framework for guiding our thoughts and actions into conflicts that lead us to a predetermined solution.

If we do not understand how the Hegelian dialectic shapes our perceptions of the world, then we do not know how we are helping to implement the vision. When we remain locked into dialectical thinking, we cannot see out of the box.

Hegel’s dialectic is the tool which manipulates us into a frenzied circular pattern of thought and action. Every time we fight for or defend against an ideology we are playing a necessary role in the elites game and it holds this system in place. Opting our consciousness out is the key.

The chess board is a well known Masonic or Hegelian symbol, the black and white squares symbolize control through duality in the grand game of life in all aspects. Left or right, white or black people, conservative or liberal, democrat or republican, Christian or Muslim and so on. Through two opposing parties control is gained as both parties reach the same destination, which is order through guided conflict or chaos.

Left (thesis) versus right (antithesis) equals middle ground or control (synthesis). The triangle and all seeing eye we see so often symbolizes the completion of the great work which began almost 6000 years ago when humanity was taken over and disconnected.

The pyramid is supported by the bottom opposing sides. The capstone at the top is established through controlled solution or middle ground. Hegelian dialectic is one in the same, the final plan is in action, however, the system is decayed and destined for failure.

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The dualistic order out of chaos model is based on separation of the people driven by economics. However, the planet is at the apex where consciousness is shifting and people are seeing beyond this game. Therefore the system that is ‘controlling us’ can be will be no more. Those manipulating the planet have used Hegelian dialectic to separate and control brothers and sisters, children of this planet.

The only way to completely stop the privacy invasions, expanding domestic police powers, land grabs, wars against inanimate objects, covert actions, and outright assaults on individual liberty, is to step outside the dialectic and shift consciousness. This releases us from the limitations of controlled and guided thought.

It is all the same game brought on by the cabal of this world, we are choosing to play these roles to support a system designed to hold us back from thriving, but it is time to change that game. We can expect to see more madness and fear tactics from the establishment to keep control., but you are always free to think outside the box and let go of the Hegelian Dialectic. You can view this system for what it is as the moves on the chess board become more and more blatant.

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Alternative News

U.S. Soldier Claims To Have Shot & Killed A 12-Foot Giant In Afghanistan

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    There is corroborating testimony that a patrol of U. S. Soldiers shot and killed a giant 12-15 feet tall in Afghanistan, widely known a 'The Kandahar Giant.'

  • Reflect On:

    What would be the implications about human history if we came to know that there were one or several other humanoid species that once lived on the planet, or indeed still live here today?

In 2002 a U. S. patrol had gone missing in a very remote area of Afghanistan. Another patrol was dispatched on a search and rescue mission, and one soldier on that patrol described what he saw after coming around the side of a mountain:

As we bent around this corner you could see the opening of the cave. And then I see a lot of rocks which is another oddity. And then bone matter. I’m not close enough to identify what kind of bones but I did see what I knew to be a piece of our communications equipment. So instantly we’re thinking ‘ambush,’ maybe animal, you know, could be anything. There was enough room in front of the cave, but it had a sheer drop-off; but there was enough room that we got into a decent dispersal in case of ambush.

Not long after they had gotten into that dispersal formation, they saw something emerge from the cave that, despite their preparedness, caught them fully off guard.

It was a man at least 12 to 15 feet in height. This is a MONSTER. Red beard, with his hair–was longish, past his shoulders, a scarlet red. And Dan runs at him and starts shooting, which broke all of us into the reality–because it was surreal.

While Dan is moving at him, another bro of mine is laying down fire and I start firing. He skewers Dan–he’s now got him on this ‘pike.’ It went through him. He’s got him and he’s coming after more.

We all just clicked in. I don’t know what it was, but I remember we were all like, ‘Shoot him in the face, shoot him in the face!’ He’s taking multiple hits, and he’s still moving.

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Eventually, the giant was killed. Dan had been killed as well. And the patrol unit was soon visited by a helicopter that dropped some cargo netting. They were told they had to bundle up the giant in the netting, and soon after they were done, a larger helicopter came by, dropped a hook, and the giant was carried off.

The soldier confirmed that the red-haired, fair-skinned giant had six fingers on each hand and six toes on each foot. After they had submitted their after-action report, the soldier recounts that they were told by their top brass to re-write it in a particular fashion, presumably to remove any mention of a giant being.

Corroborating Testimony

Although not an eyewitness, another special ops soldier in Afghanistan provides the following corroborating testimony:

We would come back to the base and started hearing this rumor about a unit that killed this, what they started calling this really tall person. At first I didn’t think anything of it, then come to find out that the person they killed was actually three times the size of a man, had extra digits on their hands, and extra digits on their feet, and had red hair, and a special unit had come in and wanted this target.

Well we’d heard that they killed this thing inside a cave, or the mouth of a cave, and there was common knowledge among the military to hear this. When you first hear, you’re thinking like, this has got to be a joke. This has got to be a hoax. Then after things go down a certain way, and you keep hearing it, you start to realize it’s not a joke.

They kept telling us to keep our weapons high, which normally means it’s two to the chest, one to the head, but they kept telling us to put it towards a man’s head, and put it higher. So we would question, why would they want us to shoot higher than a man’s head?

Recorded Interviews

These testimonies are found in the compilation video below, from interviews conducted by L. A. Marzulli with the two soldiers who wanted to remain anonymous. In addition, there is some footage from Coast to Coast with host George Noory featuring a pilot who saw and actually transported the giant.

Pilot’s Testimony

This pilot had landed at a base in Afghanistan and was told that they had to pick up special cargo and that there were absolutely no cameras allowed. The pilot describes the ‘cargo’:

It was basically a dead ‘guy,’ and this guy was extremely large, and when I say large, our pallets are basically, if I remember correctly, about 9 by 12 feet, or so, and this guy was laying in a fetal position, on the pallet, and he filled the pallet. He was around an 1100 pound guy.

The pilot corroborated much more of the details given by the other two witnesses, including the fact that this giant was fair-skinned, red-haired, and had extra digits on his hands and feet.

Widespread Corroboration

As impressive as the consistency of these three separate testimonies is, there is actually much more widespread corroboration about the existence of fair-skinned, red-haired giants with six fingers and toes, and double rows of teeth. Certainly, in Afghanistan, the stories among the natives were rampant about the existence of cannibalistic giants living in caves. The soldiers who could understand the natives’ language tended to refer to these stories as ‘legends’, although a few noted that the presence of bones near cave entrances suggested that humans were killed and eaten by something living in the cave, either by ambush or, according to the natives, by sacrifices they offered the giant.

There is plenty of evidence that a cannibalistic, red-haired race of giants once inhabited North America, and menaced several native tribes whose folklore and legends (or for the tribes, history) tell stories similar to the one recounted in this article:

After years of strife and numerous casualties on both sides of the fence, the natives decided to end this giant threat for good-by uniting under a single flag. It wasn’t long until the red-haired giants were crippled and forced out of their homes.

The giants retreated inside a cave, but were tracked down by the natives, and with a will to avenge their fallen brethren, they set up a considerable fire that had them all burnt or intoxicated. Those who ventured outside to try to escape the putsch were met with retribution to the last one.

In reference to red-haired giants, there is a discussion between David Wilcock and Corey Goode where it is said that these giants have been found in stasis, which means in suspended animation, until such a time that they are supposed to return. More than one person within the UFO community has borne witness to these red-haired giants being found in stasis chambers, in full battle regalia and other adornments, seemingly in preparation to resume their role on Earth at the appointed time.

Reasons For Non-Disclosure

In asking one of the U. S. army witnesses why this information was being kept secret from the world, he said,

My personal opinion is, if it points to the Bible’s accurate, they don’t want it. If it goes against Darwinian Evolution, it’s not to be spoken of.

This is very much in keeping with my previous article on Giants in North America, where it seems that those in power are trying their best to keep everybody from finding out that human history is very different from the neo-Darwinian model in which human evolution has been a slow, unbroken, random pattern without intervention from any other sentient species. It’s likely that just learning of the existence of one different species here on Earth would completely break the spell and have a majority of us ready to demand the truth about our history and our place in this universe alongside other intelligent species.

Snopes Weighs In

Of course mainstream attempts to dampen the credibility of this type of story starts at the top–the top of a Google search, I mean. A search on ‘Kandahar Giant,’ predictably, has this Snopes article first on the list, to tell us of course that the whole story is false. The proof?

A Department of Defense spokesman told us they have no record of such an incident: “We do not have any record or information about a special forces member killed by a giant in Kandahar.”

If you’ve made it this far in the article, I rather doubt that this ‘proof’ is very compelling to you.

Our Role

Our role as awakened and awakening citizens in the truth-seeking community is to continue to do our best to bring to light all the evidence of information that has been suppressed, hidden and denied. As more and more eyewitnesses and other whistleblowers gain the courage to come out and talk about what they have experienced, it is becoming easier to start building a bigger picture about our true history and what’s really going on in our world.

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Consciousness

6 Of The Most Asked Questions On Google & What They Say About Us

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Google is an incredible resource that helps us get the answers to many of life's questions at incredible speeds. But as our search habits suggest, we seem to be turning to it a bit too much for a number of unhealthy reasons.

  • Reflect On:

    What are you regularly turning to Google for? Are the answers you're getting actually of value, or are they instead rooted in a deeper issue?

The world is filled with a seemingly endless number of resources for us to tap into or seek out the council of. Yet, when it comes to finding the answers to some of our most important questions we all seem to go to one place: Google.

And while Google may be incredibly effective at providing us access to the answers of many of our questions at what seems like light-speed, it can also be quite damaging.

To illustrate this I’d like to present to you six of the most commonly asked questions that we as a collective tend to turn to Google for, what I believe they say about humanity, and why we need to stop turning to Google for the answers to them.

Please note that these are just six OF the most asked questions, and not the six most. These six are particular ones that stood out to me as troubling and worth commenting on. So here they are in ascending order based on how frequently they are searched per month globally. (All stats found on Mondovo

A written version of the video is available below as well.

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6. Which celebrity do I look like?

Search frequency: 14,800 times per month

While on the surface this search seems purely fun, what concerns me about it being searched with such frequency is that it really showcases how much our thoughts are rooted in comparison.

We all know that social media as a whole is a cesspool of comparison, where the vast majority of us post nothing but the highlight reel captures of our life rather than true snippets of our reality. The last thing we need is to even further compare ourselves to those we aren’t connected to on social media -especially those who for the most part work in an industry obsessed with physical appearances.

We need to keep in mind that the way Katy Perry looks on the red carpet is different from the way she looks upon waking up on a Friday morning. Let’s choose to embrace our uniqueness and spend our spare time being ourselves rather than comparing that person to who we think we need to be.

5. Why did I get married?

Search frequency: 49,500 times per month

With divorce rates being where they are, we all know that the institution of marriage is rapidly crumbling before our feet. And while whether that is a good or bad thing is a matter of opinion, I still don’t think we should be turning to Google for reminders on why we opted to participate in it.

Rather than reading someone’s blog on why you should appreciate your partner, or another person’s rant on why we should all run from marriage like the plague, choose to spend that time instead of having an open conversation with your spouse.

Be honest about where you stand with things and come to a collective conclusion as to what you can and cannot do as the next steps.

4. Who unfollowed me on Instagram?

Search frequency: 74,000 times per month

This is my personal favourite on the list because there are few things that amuse me more than seeing the importance that so many of us put on our “Instagram ratio”.

Long gone are the days where we happily followed and liked everyone and everything, and here to stay are the days where we handpick who we follow to give off a “celebrity status” based on the seemingly much higher amount of people who have chosen to follow us.

If you care so much about your following count dropping from 714 to 713 that you need to look into who it was that you lost overnight (or even if you realize that the drop happened at all) you’ve got some serious self-worth issues that you need to address and work beyond.

3. How to make money online?

Search frequency: 135,000 times per month

As someone who has not only worked for various companies who have made substantial amounts of money online, and who has several initiatives to do so myself, I can tell you one thing: it doesn’t come easy!

It not only takes persistent and high-quality effort to build a YouTube subscriber base or to create a website that generates regular traffic, it also takes money to make money.

We need to debunk the belief that the internet is a great way to get rich quick. Realize that everyone who is advertising their online course, seminar, or book designed to help you do this, is doing that as their primary tactic to attain wealth -and they’re paying a hell of a lot of money to get their ad in your face. Those who have attained it have much bigger and better things to do.

2. How to lose weight fast?

Search frequency: 301,000 times per month

On the surface, this too seems well-intentioned since it’s great to see that a large portion of us are regularly searching for ways to improve our health. But what concerns me about this is largely the last word: fast.

We live in a world where we need instantaneous results (hence why we’re turning to Google in the first place) or we don’t bother. Long-term solutions exist but we have virtually no confidence in our ability to commit to anything, so we instead opt for ways to cheat the system.

If losing weight or gaining muscle is truly important to you, than focus on what you’ll need to do to keep yourself motivated to put the work in to get there rather than what can zap it away.

1. Any and all health advice

Search frequency: Unknown but seemingly infinite

We’ve all done it. We go to Google for advice on a persistent pimple and three minutes later we’re convinced that we are mere weeks away from being on our deathbed.

While there are plenty of great articles and medical journals scattered throughout the net, there is also a lot of “click-baity” crap with nothing to support much of what it suggests.

Please understand that this is NOT an attack against alternative media outlets, I firmly believe that even the most widely-accepted forms of media are ladened in questionable sourcing and ruled by greed. So rather than taking your chances, why not instead turn a trusted healthcare professional who can diagnose your unique circumstance?


For more brutally honest personal development content designed for those who actually want to change, be sure to subscribe to my YouTube Channel and to follow me on Facebook.

Get Your FREE In Depth Numerology Reading

Your life path number can tell you A LOT about you.

With the ancient science of Numerology you can find out accurate and revealing information just from your name and birth date.

Get your free numerology reading and learn more about how you can use numerology in your life to find out more about your path and journey. Get Your free reading.

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