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How I Discovered Unconditional Love & How It Changed My Life

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It’s been a year since we parted ways. This relationship has been significant in my life. It was the first time I moved out of my mom’s place to move in with a partner. Throughout those 3 years I not only experienced a loving and fun relationship, but I also made a best friend. He was the first person who saw me for me and loved me for me, despite our differences. Our relationship quickly felt like a safe haven for me, I felt protected. I felt loved even when I couldn’t love myself. And I loved him just as much. I grew comfortable enough that I began to settle for the idea of comfort and consistency more than the idea of change and movement. I didn’t realize how strongly I secluded myself from the world and from myself because of this “comfort zone”… until our relationship fell apart.

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It took a few weeks for me register that we would no longer be together, that I would have to move out of the space we shared, leave Toronto and go back to my mom’s place in Montreal, all while having no single clue where I was headed. I was swimming in the “scary” unknown. Those three years spent together became “life as I knew it.” They became my reference point, my world. I have built friendships there. I had a partner I could always count on. I lived this new life in Toronto and I didn’t plan to have it any other way anytime soon. But now, all of it was gone, just like that.

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I was always one to preach about how everything happens for a reason, but this time, the mere concept in my head didn’t cut it. I was devastated. I freaked out.

  • Loss: I felt like I lost my best friend and the man I loved.
  • Rejection: I felt rejected by the man I thought loved me for me. “I guess me wasn’t enough after all.”
  • Feeling left out: My friends and him would continue hanging out as usual, yet I could no longer be a part of it. I moved far away and was no longer “in the picture.”
  • Feeling unloved and unimportant: I equated this whole experience with being less loved. “He broke up with me because he no longer loves me. I am no longer important to him.”
  • Feeling Alone: Because I felt unable to relate with most people in this world, losing the one partnership I felt like I could relate with brought me face-to-face with an extreme feeling of loneliness.

For months, I was still trying to mentally pick up all of the pieces and stick them back together. I would call him in tears and pity myself wondering why no one ever called me. “Weren’t we the closest friends just a month ago? What happened?” I would say. I could not bare how rejected I felt. I felt like a victim. My love was intimately tied in to a feeling of bitterness and blame towards him for how he managed to dig up all of my darkness. And he left me alone with it.

For a while, I tried to control my pain by controlling my relationships. At times, I tried to squeeze out any bit of love and acknowledgment I could get from virtual or phone conversations with him and sometime others… But every bit I could get came with an aftertaste of my own inability to be at peace and in love with myself, with my own inability to just love unconditionally.

And this… this is why we needed to break up.

I needed to grow up. I needed to first and foremost accept the current condition of my emotional state (rejection issues, fear of loss, aloneness, powerlessness) without solely reacting to and blaming the circumstances. Without trying to patch it up with something or someone. I couldn’t patch it up anyways, and this was a true blessing disguised as deprivation. Besides, I carried this baggage long before I entered any relationship in life. Relationships simply brought them to my awareness. This baggage was mine to carry, and mine to let go of.

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“If you cannot be at ease with yourself when alone, you will seek a relationship to cover up your unease.  You can be sure that the unease will then reappear in some other form within the relationship, and you will probably hold your partner responsible for it.” – Eckhart Tolle

This was no longer a matter of REcovering from a breakup, but about UNcovering myself from all of the limiting beliefs and thoughts that have made my world more narrow, my relationships more narrow, and my perspective more narrow.

  • When I expect my relationships to be a certain way before I can love and be at peace
  • When I rely on someone else to feel comfortable in my own skin
  • When I refuse to accept the transient nature of experiences and rely on predictability
  • When I live my life in fear of change

And more specifically…

  • When I define love as some label, some “way it should look like,” some opposite of something else…

I forget what love is.

Love. Just. Is. 

ms04As time went by and I became too exhausted to hold on (not that we always have to wait until then lol) I finally gave up on reacting to everything and resisting the flow of my emotions. I had to accept, and so I did. By accepting not only the situation – but everything I felt – the dust gently settled. My emotions calmed. My thoughts quieted. I was able to sink back into the present moment and experience life as it was – not as I thought it should be. I could still hear the echoes of my ego telling me “hey, what are you doing? You need to stay in control here. You need to keep thinking about how you’re going to fix your life. You need to reach out for something or someone as soon as it gets uncomfortable.” 

But by that point, I had gained a certain level of maturity where I understood this would only throw me into the same cycle of endless reactions. Did I need to repeat this, or could I now learn my lesson and just let it be? I didn’t know where “letting things be” would lead me. It sounded directionless, not to mention it didn’t change my situation.  My ego did not like that, but my intuition knew it was what I needed to do.

As I let things be and chose to simply “not go” with the same old mind stories as they would try and taunt me, I soon realized it wasn’t love that hurt. It was the mind stories. It was the mental interpretations, meanings, beliefs and conditions I built around love, not love itself.

It didn’t hurt when I allowed myself to love:

  • It hurt when I told myself love was lost.
  • It hurt when I told myself I wasn’t loved.
  • It hurt when I told myself I couldn’t love.
  • It hurt when I told myself love should look this way or that way.
  • It hurt when I saw myself as separate from love.

By choosing to no longer feed those stories, I realized that Love isn’t really something we do or reach out for, it is something we are. And it is from this space that we are able to love truly.

“How we relate, or rather how well we love, depends on how empty we are of ideas, concepts, expectations.” – Kim Eng

Love & Attachment

Attachment, which we often confuse with love, is the subconscious act of “investing” your own inner-discomfort and emotional baggage in something or someone else to protect yourself from facing and feeling it. This is why we become possessive and dependent. This is why we tend to reduce the other to a “thing” we get addicted to. This is why we can go from loving to hating as soon as our partner pushes our buttons and triggers something uncomfortable within us. Attachment has to do with personal fears more than it has to do with loving someone.

Unconditional love, however, begins with the understanding that all of your relationships – even the challenging ones – have something to teach you. If they push your buttons, they are making you aware of your buttons. This may sound like a “bad” thing at first, but just a little step back can give enough perspective to realize that a button pusher is simply reminding you that you have the option to either stay with your issues and protect yourself from ever having to deal with them… or acknowledge them, see what they’re all about and perhaps work on letting them go. It becomes difficult to not love unconditionally when you lose the tendency to blame others for your own reactions. 😉

“There’s two ways to live your life:
1. You do everything you can to avoid the button pushers.
or 2. You get rid of your buttons and at last enjoy everything.”

Yes, it takes a lot of self-observation to get there… but all it takes to begin the journey is the will to turn your attention inwards when your sensitivities are brought to your awareness. That way, you no longer get caught up pointing fingers out there while dismissing the cue to work on releasing whatever is weighing you down.

Unconditional love is the kind of love that emerges naturally once you stop believing all the junk in your head telling you “you are not enough, you need this and that before you can feel peaceful, you need others to be a certain way before you can let them be etc.” As you let go of such thoughts – not by judging or fighting them but by simply releasing your grip on them – you naturally enter a state of peace and wholeness within yourself. You then get to feel for yourself that true love is not about what others can give you because you feel lack, it’s about the love you can share freely because you’re already complete.

“Love is about complete freedom. The freedom to be 100% oneself and give that same freedom to others.” – Franco DeNicola

Love has no opposites, no conditions, no rules, no separations. Such things exist only in our minds as concepts and ideas trying to shape something so immaterial, immeasurable and vast into a compact, solid shape. It may sound normal due to how we are taught relationships should be like. It may sound normal due to all of the definitions of love thrown around in movies and magazines… but once again: Love isn’t a definition. Love Is.

How This Changed My Life & Relationships

You would think letting go of chasing, controlling, needing and attaching to others would leave you lonely and unable to relate with people. But as I simply began to live in the present moment without struggling to change it, change others or change myself, not only did I begin to enjoy my own company – I actually began to attract more wonderful connections and relationships in my life. In this new state of being, I am now able to enjoy those relationships more fully for what they are because I no longer use them to fulfill a personal agenda.

Aw.

In fact, I am now closer than ever with my ex, who triggered this whole learning experience for me. Ever since I released my expectations, it became so easy to be friends once again. No resentment, no drama, simply an unconditional love and gratitude for everything that we are and have taught one another. I am now able to see more clearly the gem that each of my relationships have to offer: opportunities for growth, for both parties to identify their blockages and embody even more freedom within themselves. It doesn’t mean that I no longer have emotions, fears or feelings of attachment that come up, it only means that I am now able to see them for what they are and no longer identify myself with them. I am now back in the driver’s seat of my life, more able than ever before to experience and embrace all that life has to offer.

P.S. I love you.

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Consciousness

Manifesting Your Vision Through “The Law of Attraction”

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The Law of Attraction is based on the principle that all matter is made up of pure energy, which is in a constant state of vibration and spin.

The LOA implies that thoughts and emotions are also energy, each having a unique energy signature. Every energetic frequency is in a constant state of attraction or repulsion with all others. With the recent emergence of quantum mechanics, this notion has been largely supported at a micro level.

The Law of Attraction states that “like attracts like,” and we are in a constant state of creating our reality through the energy we emit in the form of thoughts and emotion. We continuously interact with the fabric of reality (or quantum field), through thought and emotional energy, and whatever we focus on is likely to manifest. We are each creators of our own reality, and what we put out is what we will attract.

3 Things You Need to Know First

1. A key factor missing from the LOA is that we are creating on both a conscious and subconscious level. This accounts for the seeming contradiction between “opposites attract” and the major principle of LOA, “like attracts like.”

We are still attracting the part of the whole that has been splintered and repressed into the subconscious mind. Basically, the actively repressed traits within ourselves are still charged, and this suppressed energy is also a point of attraction. Until we acknowledge and integrate it, it will still play a role in the creation of our external reality.

2. Our belief systems alter our manifestation process. If you want to manifest $10,000 in one week, but your underlying beliefs are largely identified with a state of lack, you will only manifest more lack.

This is because Law of Attraction works with both thought and emotion, and if you try to think your way into something that you don’t believe, your emotional reaction will support your unconscious beliefs more than your conscious thoughts.

If you try to affirm, “I will be abundant,” but don’t believe it, those beliefs will surface via an emotional response that insinuates the opposite feeling. At that point, you are literally putting the gas and the breaks on at the same time, making manifestation very difficult.

One great tip to overcome this, as stated by Abraham Hicks, is to “start general, and then get specific” with your manifestation process. Start with what you can believe, and continue to expand as you see evidence of your manifestations taking place. This allows your thoughts and emotions to be in resonance rather than dissonance.

3. We are always manifesting according to our highest values. Renowned behavioural development specialist Dr. DeMartini (who was also featured in The Secret) discovered that we all have an inherent set of values that is largely governing our behaviour. DeMartini is quoted as saying, “All of our actions are strategies to align with our values as efficiently as possible,” along with, “all of our positive and negative emotions are feedback as to whether or not we are living in our highest values.” Essentially, the things we value the most filter our perception at a subconscious level. They are governing the way that we manifest, and the reasons we do.

This is why, for example, someone might set a new year’s resolution to lose weight and never achieve their goal. If one of their highest values is social connection, their unconscious will perceive that taking the time to exercise and eat right actually conflicts with the time they would rather be spending at social events with others.

The trick, then, is to change your perception by tying in how exercise and diet actually support your high value on social connection. For example, you might feel more confident meeting new people when you are healthy and strong. Or you can approach it from the other end by tying your value into your goal. In this case, you could try to engage your value of social connection by going to the gym or to nutrition classes with your close friends.

What You Need to Know During Active Manifestation

These are some useful tips if you are meditating on your vision, or practicing visualization.

Clear your mind. To speed up the process of manifestation, presence and focus are key. If your attention is scattered, your manifestation will be too. Write down on paper whatever is bothering you, and vow to leave it outside of your visualization. This will help you stay present.

Open your heart for the process. Connect with the feeling of gratitude as you begin. This can be done by writing a short gratitude list, or by thinking of people/events that you are truly grateful for.

According to the HeartMath Institute, “The heart generates an electromagnetic field roughly 60 times greater in amplitude than brainwaves do.” This field is measured by an electrocardiogram (ECG), and brainwaves were measured using an electroencephalogram (EEG) during these findings. The heart is a major point of attraction.

Be clear. The law of attraction is described as a law. This means it responds to everything, without exception. If you are mixed in your emotions or vision, it will slow the process. The clearer and more detailed you are, the faster your vision will come to life.

Engage your senses. Did you know that the brain can’t actually tell the difference between experience and visualization? This is why visualization is so useful for athletes. This principle applies directly to the LOA. What do you see, hear, smell, touch, and feel when you have arrived at your vision? Feel each sense distinctly, and don’t be afraid to sit with each one individually.

Engage emotion. This is how to charge your vision. Emotions are the driving force behind manifestation.

Align your intention with your values. Tie what you want to manifest into your highest values. More simply put, make sure you can see how your goals support the things that matter most to you in life. This will help you manifest congruently from both the conscious and subconscious mind.

Don’t be desperate. Try to imagine that you are gently requesting. If you are being needy or desperate in your request, you are coming directly from an emotional space of lack. The emotional feeling of lack will counteract your thought-energy, and you are more likely to stagnate.

What You Need to Know After

Take action. Taking action will create momentum, while also building evidence toward creating the belief that your manifestation is unfolding.

Act as if it has already happened. “I AM” is a creative, powerful phrase. If you conduct your behaviour as the person you have already become, you are more energetically aligned with your goal.

Be aware of your internal dialogue. Remember, you are in a constant state of attracting or repulsing what it is that you want to achieve. Your internal dialogue is always creating a point of attraction, along with the emotional reactions it produces. Be congruent!

Allow! You must fully release your vision in order for it to manifest. If you are too attached to it, your need for control can actually stunt the process. Faith and belief in the process are key. It can be helpful to think in terms of being at a restaurant. Once you’ve placed your order, you have to give it time to be cooked up and served to you!

We are all creators, and we all deserve to live an inspired life. The Law of Attraction is a beautiful tool that enables us to consciously put our creative powers to use! In the words of George Bernard Shaw, “Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.”

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Alternative News

World Doctors Alliance: “We Do Not Have A Medical Pandemic.” Fake News?

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Formed under the “Corona Extra-Parliamentary Inquiry Committee,” an alliance of hundreds of doctors and scientists, the "World Doctors Alliance recently held a press conference sharing their views about the coronavirus.

  • Reflect On:

    Why are tens of thousands of doctors and scientists all over the world being ridiculed and in many cases censored for sharing their research and opinions?

What Happened: Once again, doctors and scientists are and have been sharing the opinion that COVID-19 should not be classified as a pandemic virus due to the fact that it’s, in their opinion, nowhere near as dangerous as big media is making it out to be.

An organization made up of well over 500 German doctors and scientists called “Corona Extra-Parliamentary Inquiry Committee” who share the same perception discussed in this article have also created the “World Doctors Alliance.” Not long ago they held a press  sharing their perspective.

Below is a clip of one of the members, Dr. Elke De Klerk, founder of Doctors for Truth from the Netherlands sharing her thoughts. Below that you will find the press conference recently held by the alliance.

Many expert have been emphasizing that we are dealing with something no more dangerous than the flu. For example, approximately 40,000 scientists, doctors and more than half a million concerned citizens have now signed The Great Barrington Declaration. The declaration explains that “Covid-19 is less dangerous than many other harms, including influenza.”

The CDC also released new infection/fatality estimates that show numbers on par with seasonal flu. This recent release also has many people and experts calling into question the severity of the virus, this was well after John P. A. Ioannidis, a professor of medicine and epidemiology at Stanford University  said that the infection fatality rate is close to 0 percent for people under the age of 45 years old.

The Physicians For Informed Consent (PIC) recently published a report titled  “Physicians for Informed Consent (PIC) Compares COVID-19 to Previous Seasonal and Pandemic Flu Periods.” According to them, the infection/fatality rate of COVID-19 is 0.26%. You can read more about that and access their resources and reasoning here.

Then there is the controversy surrounding the PCR tests and the idea that a large majority of cases may actually be false positives. You can read more about that here and here. This as been coupled with the fact that many COVID deaths may not have actually been the result of COVID. You can read more about that here and here.

These groups are made up of veteran experts in the field, Nobel Laureates, Professors of Medicine, Doctors and more, yet all it takes is for an Anthony Fauci like figure to oppose their opinion, and this is the perspective that gets beamed across mainstream media outlets, radio and television while the opposing view is nothing but ridiculed and “debunked.” This is very bizarre to say the least, mainstream media alone has the power to make the majority seem like the minority, and the minority seem like the majority. They have a huge reach when it comes to regulating the perception of the masses.

The exampels listed above are a few of many.

Right now, the Great Barrington Declaration mentioned above and the idea of “heard immunity” is being heavily ridiculed in the mainstream, without any of the renowned scientists who support the declaration having an opportunity to share their opinion via mainstream media.

For the other side of the coin, here’s a perspective you can read from Health Feedback, a Facebook Fact-Checker, with regards to infection fatality rate. According to them it’s much higher than the flu, and COVID is very dangerous.

Below is a recent full press conference held by the alliance.

Is This Fake News? Nothing in this article is fake, these opinions are actually being shared by doctors and scientists around the world, and a lot of them. As far as what they are saying and the opinions expressed above, this is what’s come under the scrutiny of Facebook Fact-Checkers. It’s been emphasized during this pandemic that any type of information that does not come straight from federal health regulatory agencies and the World Health Organization is not to be trusted.

Here’s an article from Health Feedback, for example, explaining why low infection fatality numbers do not mean that the virus is not dangerous.

The organizations above have been speaking up regarding the censorship they’ve experienced from social media giants, and this has also been a common theme throughout this pandemic. Michael Levitt, a Biophysicist and a professor of structural biology at Stanford University, criticized the WHO as well as Facebook for censoring different information and informed perspectives regarding the Coronavirus. According to him, “the level of stupidity” going on here is amazing.

The Takeaway: It’s been quite intriguing to see so many scientists and doctors completely oppose the recommendations and claims made by the World Health Organization (WHO) since the beginning of this pandemic. What’s even more shocking for lots of people is the fact that many scientists and doctors have been completely censored for sharing their research and opinion regarding anything to do with COVID if it opposes the information and recommendations set out by the WHO.

It’s not hard to see why so many people are confused and so many of us have beliefs that completely differ from one another.

Should people not have the right to examine information and opinions and decide for themselves what is and what isn’t Should there be a digital fact checker patrolling the internet limiting peoples ability to see certain information? Do organizations like the WHO and our governments really make decisions that are in and for our best interests, or are there other interests being served here?

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Consciousness

My Thoughts On “Spiritual Narcissism”

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Narcissism, in a nutshell, is self-absorption to the extent that it will adopt any set of rationale to protect the ego which often includes a degree of self-deception. Is this happening to many in spiritual trends?

  • Reflect On:

    There is authentic being, and then there is self-absorption which pretending to be authenticity, are we aware of the difference?

We humans often have a hard time finding middle ground. We may be drowning in lack of self-worth one moment, and trampling over other’s with our own self indulgence the next as we struggle to find balance. Narcissism is not simply about enjoying selfies in our social media-saturated world, it goes deeper than that.

It appears as liberation but is a trap that can ruin relationships, increase personal suffering, and keep a person from their true spiritual aspirations. Not surprisingly, increased mindfulness and compassion for this tricky human quirk is the best way to heal it.

What is Spiritual Narcissism?

The capacity to become overly self-indulgent is within all of us, and it becomes increasingly dangerous when we confuse it with spirituality. In many ways it is easy to see that all of humanity is dealing with a certain degree of self-absorption while we desecrate forests and oceans, causing plants and animals to go extinct on our material quests. In his famous book, Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism, Chogyam Trungpa gave a good foundation for westerners to navigate the pitfalls of our materialistic abundance.

Alt text here
The capacity to become overly self-indulgent is within all of us

We do not have to be ashamed of what we are. As sentient beings we have wonderful backgrounds. These backgrounds may not be particularly enlightened or peaceful or intelligent. Nevertheless, we have soil good enough to cultivate; we can plant anything in it. – Chögyam Trungpa, Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism

There is a difference between ego-self and the deeper universal soul within us, differentiating the two is important. Sadly, we have spiritual philosophies and religions that have been constructed to feed the ego, inflate self-righteousness, and create division while giving justification for all manner of activities including killing, exploitation, and oppression. Ethical conduct, regardless of spirituality, requires honoring the other and the self as one with each deserving to be respected, heard, and seen with compassion.

No matter what the practice or teaching, ego loves to wait in ambush to appropriate spirituality for its own survival and gain. – Chögyam Trungpa, Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism

Alt text here
There is a difference between ego-self and the deeper universal soul within us

Finding the Antidote to Self-absorption

Narcissism, in a nutshell, is self-absorption to the extent that it will adopt any set of rationale to protect the ego which often includes a degree of self-deception. Ego is an important aspect of our selves, it is part of self-preservation but when it becomes out of balance it actually has the ability to destroy us and harm relationships.

Many spiritual practices seek to increase our ability to witness and bring mindful awareness to ego drives which allow us to master, instead of being enslaved by our ego. When ego gets too big it can be hard to swallow, yet spiritual liberation invites us to expand our sense of self beyond the ego, beyond time and space.

The goal is to find a balance between the inner experience and the outer reality. How do we embody healthy self-love without becoming an ego-maniac and hurting personal relationships? Meanwhile, self-loathing, and low self-esteem are also manifestations of ego out of balance. Selflessness can often be quite selfish, over-engagement can be as problematic as disengagement socially. Luckily we are here to find this balance through living fully, from making mistakes, and evolving our sense of self-awareness. Healthy self-awareness is the only antidote to self-absorption.

Alt text here
How do we embody healthy self-love without becoming an ego-maniac?

The Story of Narcissus and Echo

One day Narcissus was walking in the woods when Echo, an Oread (mountain nymph) saw him, fell deeply in love, and followed him. Narcissus sensed he was being followed and shouted “Who’s there?”. Echo repeated “Who’s there?”. She eventually revealed her identity and attempted to embrace him. He stepped away and told her to leave him alone. She was heartbroken and spent the rest of her life in lonely glens until nothing but an echo sound remained of her. Nemesis, the goddess of revenge, learned of this story and decided to punish Narcissus. She lured him to a pool where he saw his own reflection. He didn’t realize it was only an image and fell in love with it. He eventually recognized that his love could not be reciprocated and committed suicide. -Wikipedia

Since intention is subjective, a person is often understood within their community by their actions or image. This becomes extra tricky in our age of social media and the materialism that has found it’s way into yoga, meditation, and spirituality. It is possible to put on a good act, to fool those around us and ourselves (temporarily).

Alt text here
Narcissus mesmerized by his own reflection

We can have the latest yoga clothes, read the right books and hang out with all the “cool” people, but if our actions are not grounded in a deeper spiritual practice, basic consideration for others, and respect, it is still hollow. A common analogy is the guy who everyone likes but then goes home kicks his dog, or is rude and unaccountable to his wife.

Deep spirituality makes us more sensitive to the feeling of others, encouraging an open stance of courage where we can drop our protective shields and accept the vulnerability to be seen as we are. Narcissistic sensitivity, however, is focused solely on the subtle nuances one’s own internality, and resists looking at hard, uncomfortable truths that may upset the self image. One who is narcissistically sensitive is easily offended by the “coarseness” of others, seeks to make his environment change to align with the contours of his needs, and gets angry or offended when this does not happen. -The Allure of Narcissistic Spirituality, Huffington Post

How to Identify Narcissistic Behavior

The ability to identify narcissistic behavior in yourself and others is the best way to heal it. It is not your job to diagnose others or tell them they are narcissistic if they are not interested in hearing it or healing it. However, if you draw appropriate boundaries for them you will protect yourself and encourage them to become more mindful. This is a loving and compassionate way to handle narcissism.

Alt text hereThe ability to identify narcissistic behavior in yourself and others is the best way to heal it

It is always healthy to make boundaries and speak your truth in a loving and compassionate way. Whether the narcissist hears it or not is out of your control. Common responses from narcissists will include belittling your feelings, a hollow apology without effort to modify behavior, or ignoring you altogether. Basically, they will use any excuse they can in order to not look at it, or to make the situation your fault. This is your cue to make appropriate boundaries for yourself.

Within yourself be open and receptive when others tell you that you have been inconsiderate of them. Accepting constructive feedback from loved ones is a great way to keep a balance between internal needs and external relationships. This is also how we grow as individuals.

Common traits of narcissism courtesy of BPD Central.

  • Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
  • Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
  • Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
  • Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
  • Is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her
  • Requires excessive admiration
  • Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
  • Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
  • Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
Alt text hereLearning to stop keeping all the love for ourselves

Evolving Unhealthy Patterns

Hopefully, this will help you navigate tough interpersonal relationships and also better yourself. It is a beautiful thing that psychology is allowing us to have terms to identify and evolve unhealthy patterns emotionally. As we learn to live in community, we learn many aspects of love. This is how we help ourselves and those around us grow!

I’m republishing,  for the CE audience, this piece I wrote for Uplift Connect.

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