Are You Always Wanting More? How Desire Can Be A Blessing In Disguise

Desire can run our entire life; desire for pleasant experiences, tastes, sounds, sensations and scenarios. We can work with these desires to see them for what they truly are, and how they take us away from present moment completeness.

The thing with desire is the “if only” mind. The wanting mind that wants what is not here. If only I had time to meditate more in the morning. If only I could be more present. If only I’d eaten less. If only I looked younger. If only I was doing better things with my life. If only I was in the right relationship, had more money, whatever. If only this happened, then I’d be happy, then I’d be fulfilled, then I’d be awakened, complete, content, healed, a better person.

The problem with it (or maybe a better word is hurdle), is that we believe that what we seek is somewhere else; in some future time, in outside objects, in some future state, when we will become fulfilled and complete. But all we have is what’s here and now. If I get what I desire, then will I be satisfied? There really is no end to desire. One desire is replaced by another. What we seek is not outside of us, it is our inner essence, the peace within, our being, our presence. This place is complete and not seeking in the future for satisfaction.

It’s not our fault either. Society fools us. It says if you have a beautiful body, great sex, lots of money, big expensive toys, a good nights sleep, a healthy bank account then you’ll be happy.

So how do we work with this? We can begin to understand it and use it for insight. We can be aware when desire arises, and look for its origin. Instead of acting it out, we can identify what exactly it is that is creating this desire. Who is desiring? Do you personally generate the desire you feel for certain things? By going deeply into this, we begin to see that desire arises on its own; it’s the structure of the mind itself.

It’s possible that as desire comes on in whatever form it may, to identify as the awareness of your desire, rather than identifying as “I desire that”. You can see that “there is the energy of desire”. Sit with it. Feel what it does to your body, feel the sensations arising because of it. Name it, watch it come, then watch it leave. By bringing in this state of awareness/consciousness, by shining a light on it and not identifying with it, we begin to dissolve it. Be aware of it. Don’t get lost in it, and you will dissolve it. In it’s place, there is peace and fulfilment.

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  1. Also, observing others who have what we (think we) want. So, you want an intimate relationship: spend time with people in a relationship and see the reality of what they experience. So you want lots of money? Go see if a person with money to spend on whatever they wish is really happy or just putting on a happy face. If we observe ourselves, we will see all these desires we think we want and need for happiness/fulfillment are really just a substitute for living an authentic life: a life true to our deeper self. Our mind and the influences of culture/society/friends/etc. dictate our desires on the surface of our life, but looking deeper, if we can be honest and raw with our true nature, we will see these desires will not fulfill us. Desire can be a gift if seen in this correct light (as a trigger to look deeper, to observe yourself), but disappointment can also be a gift. You got what you want, and it didn’t line up with your fantasy, it didn’t really work out, so now you are disappointed and look for more distractions, looking for the world to give you happiness instead of looking inward. Disappointment can lead you to search for deeper meaning in your life, deeper meaning found within you.

    To quote Marshall Vian Summers:
    ““This deeper need does not mean you have no other needs, for you will still have some practical needs, psychological needs and emotional needs. But to fulfill the deeper need of the soul means that you have given satisfaction and fulfillment to your essential nature here. You could acquire wealth. You can be devoted to beauty. You could be politically involved. You can have a deeply engaging social life. You can have all the appearances of success in the world. But if the deeper need of your soul remains undiscovered and unfulfilled, you will still be impoverished and the feelings of emptiness will haunt you, driving you further into your outer pursuits as you try to mitigate or satisfy this deeper need within yourself. But you cannot do it, because it can only be fulfilled by responding to the power and presence of Knowledge and having it guide you to the discovery, the experience and the expression of your greater purpose.””

    1. Ah beautiful Jenna. Yeah I agree. We only need to just look around at the people that have “made it” in the field we’re striving in, to see that there is no fulfilment there.
      Thank you

  2. in my opinion desire is a creation of “heart”it arises withen heart.Mind is only a tool to work on it.

    1. Hi Shehbaz, yeah i see what you mean.
      Is the heart and mind separate? Are there separate desires generated by the heart and the mind? Are there noble desires and desires that create suffering? Desire itself, the wanting of something, is this not an energy that we can feel and experience as thought, projections, bodily sensations and maybe emotions? The reason i ask this, is because for me it comes back to whom is desiring? Is there a self that is generating this desire, or is it an energy arising on its own?

  3. This was pretty paradigm shifting for me because I had never known I suffer this exact problem. We are always counting on the future like it is already there. We only have the now to make the future. Things change when you look at it from that perspective. Crazy good article btw.

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