Not long ago we published an article called 15 Things To Stop Doing To Yourself. The article was all about outlining the tendencies many of us have that can make life more complicated and difficult. Things we do to ourselves that we have full control over. That article inspired this new one that will focus on things we can begin doing right now that will make our lives more joyous and peace filled.
Start Spending Time With The “Right” People – Spend time with people you enjoy -who bring you up instead of push you down. Sure there are always lessons we can learn from others but you don’t need to continue hanging around with and associating with people who you know bring in an offsetting vibe. Learn what you need to from them about yourself and move on. I have found that the longer I let things linger with people simply because I feel I’m supposed to never let them bother me, the worse a situation gets as I’m not taking care of myself. You can’t change others, so focus on you and spend time with those who resonate with you the most.
Start Loving & Being Nicer To Yourself – Think about how you speak to yourself sometimes – how does it sound? What do you say? Unless you are already great at self talk and have a solid connection to the love that you are, it’s likely you say some nasty things to yourself. Whether it be about your appearance, performance on something or your ability to do something you want to do, it’s easy for us to tear ourselves down. Now imagine someone else was saying all those things to you instead. Would it be nice of that person? Of course not. So why do we choose to not be nice to ourselves? Learning to love ourselves and cut out the nasty talk is so important. Be sure to be aware of what you are saying to yourself.
Start Being Fully Honest With Yourself – Being fully honest with yourself is so important as we can get caught up in convincing ourselves that various things don’t bother us or aren’t a challenge for us. We even be guilty to avoid admitting certain characteristics about the current version of ourselves. Honesty is needed in every aspect of our lives whether it’s with other people, ourselves, our work and so on. The more honest we are, the more we can grow from our experiences and keep things simple. You learn a lot about yourself when you are honest.
Start Facing Your Challenges Head On – We always want our problems or challenges to just go away. But most of the time it isn’t quite that simple. We need to take some sort of action steps. Choose to do something about the challenges you face as opposed to letting them linger and simply complaining about them. We have the choice and control, it’s time to embrace that power. If it helps, choose one problem or challenge you face right now, and write out some things you can do to get it moving forward.
Start Listening To Your Own Inner Voice – Whether you want to call it your inner voice, your heart, gut feelings, intuition, soul, higher self, higher perspective or any other name you give to the real YOU that is beyond your mind, listening to that voice a little more often makes a big difference in your life. It’s YOU! It’s there to guide you, show you your passions and what paths make the most sense for you at any given moment. The more you listen to it means the less you listen to the mind which can often over analyze or bring emotional patterns into your decisions. Listening to your inner voice is following your heart.
Start Living In The NOW – This was one of the most powerful things for me to implement in my life. I’m not saying I’m always in the now as certainly I get stuck thinking about the past or future in ways that cause suffering, but using this tool as much as possible is huge. Everything you have or are is all happening right now and you only have the now. Even in a future moment it is still the now. When you pay attention to what is happening now you give your whole self to what you are doing and that brings much peace and joy. The past or future can be used as a reference to make adjustments in the now, but avoid fretting or worrying about either. The dwelling will only cause suffering. There is much beauty happening now that you won’t want to miss.
Start Valuing What Your “Mistakes” Teach You – I don’t believe there are mistakes in life. Simply, we make choices and they play out experiences. Deep down we have an understanding of what is right and wrong and we live by that. When it comes to smaller choices where we make decisions and they end up in less favorable outcomes, there is a lot to learn from them. Taking risks sometimes results in a stumble or a fall, but this will teach you so much about yourself and the journey you make through each experience. We focus so much on the end goal and how it came to be defined rather than all we learned along the way. There are no mistakes. Value what you learn from every journey.
Start Being Yourself Completely – You are an awesome unique individual, no matter what anyone says. Embracing that is often so difficult because we have social pressures as well as ideas of ourselves (often based on social pressures) that get in the way of us being real. Deep down we all know who we are, what we love and how we want to be, it’s just a matter of getting used to being that when we have gotten used to putting something else “on” for so long. It can be scary for sure, we are putting ourselves out there and if people don’t accept us it can hurt. But the truth is, you will be amazed at how much people love you and are appreciative of what you resonate when you are truly being yourself. People can feel when others aren’t embracing their true selves and this is what usually creates interesting experiences.
Start Enjoying & Appreciating What You Already Have – Sometimes we get caught up in chasing things like money and other material possessions. While these things are not bad to experience or have, it’s important not to get stuck in the idea that “I will be happy once I get these things.” Too often we are waiting around for the “best” situation to play out for us, all the while missing out on the experiences that are right in front of us. Where we have food, shelter, friends, family and life. We also can get caught up in comparing ourselves to others and what they have. Before you go to bed, mid day or even when you wake up, remember all that you have and this will help to keep you out of the chase for more. After all, when you finally get the things you desire, won’t the mind just look for more if we let it?
Start Being Accountable & Creating Your Own Joy – When we look outside ourselves to create joy or peace in our lives we basically give up our own power in doing so. The truth is, you already have all it takes to feel great in your life and sometimes it’s about taking the action to make that the case. In our culture most of the time we assume that happiness will come from others and from things and when we get everything in line we will be OK -Let’s break this habit and start by finding the power inside each of us to begin creating joy now.
Start Helping People Around You – Regardless of what society may suggest is the case, we are all in this together and connected to one another. Caring about people and assisting them in their own journey, in whatever form that comes in, is a great way to connect with others and use your unique skills. On top of that you create a sharing relationship with those people so that exchanges can continue down the road. You aren’t doing it to get something in return, but rather to extend love outwards only to see it come back in whatever form it does.
Start Accepting Things Even If They Aren’t Perfect – Really, what is perfect? Sometimes we have a tough time accepting things when they aren’t perfect, but perfection is simply an idea your mind created. We can get caught up in things in our world not appearing exactly as we wish to see them, but much of it is us learning to be at peace with how things unfold. We can only take actions on things we have control over. This isn’t to say you need to settle for everything, but rather, don’t obsess over the small details and instead be at peace with where things are at in this moment.
Start Paying Attention to How You Feel About Things – Often times we might feel a particular way about something but we don’t take it seriously or voice it because we don’t understand it or don’t want to share it with others. How you feel deep down about something is important and we should certainly value that. Social pressures don’t outweigh how you feel inside about something so feel free to understand that feeling and own it versus burying it. Often we can hide these feelings inside only to later realize many others felt the same about something but didn’t say anything because they were all afraid as well. Your voice and heart can impact others. Don’t be afraid to speak.
Start Focusing On The Possibilities Of Things vs Them Not Working Out – Have you ever heard the idea that if you believe it, it will happen? Now of course this isn’t quite the full story, but believing in possibility has a big impact on not only your own effort and motivation around something but also how others will perceive it. If you want to do something in your life, believe you can do it and avoid thinking negatively about the outcome. “This would never happen to me.” Or “Good things never happen to me.” This type of self talk and lack of believing in self can quickly kill what you are trying to achieve in life. Focus on what you want to happen and how you want to go about it. Focusing on the “negative” won’t do much but make the whole situation feel “negative.”
7 Sketches That You Won’t Believe Represent A State Of Anarchy
- The Facts:
A 'state of anarchy' is simply a situation in which there is no ruler, controller, or authority.
- Reflect On:
How do we start reducing unwanted and unnecessary authority in our lives? What steps do we need to take as conscious individuals in order to create a whole society and world founded on expanding upon these liberating states of anarchy?
If I asked you what kind of image is evoked by the phrase ‘state of anarchy,’ you might think about a mob or gang in the midst of all sorts of confusion and chaos, a big fight going on with flare guns and smoke bombs, or looting, destruction, and all manner of crimes going down without someone around to protect the innocent. And while this image may go off in many of our imaginations, it is rather difficult to find such a scene when searching Google Images for a ‘state of anarchy’.
What we seem to find is that there is a kind of fight, between the oppressors and the oppressed, the masters and the slaves, the political elite and the regular people. Still, most images show people not in an internal state of aimless, unguided confusion, but rather in a purposeful struggle, where it is clear who the enemy is.
The sketch below, for example, may seem to come close to our mind’s perception of a state of anarchy, although upon further research this image represents the peasant rebellion in the French Revolution as depicted in ‘A Tale of Two Cities.’
In reality, the very meaning and usage of the term ‘anarchy’ has been subverted in our society. By whom? The very authority who do everything to veer people away from ideas, or in this case a single word, that is a threat to their grip on power.
From its etymology, anarchy simply means ‘no ruler,’ and a state of anarchy is simply a state in which there is no authority, or no master. In my last article on Natural Law, I discussed anarchy as the desired state of sovereign individuals, and it got me thinking about putting up some of the following images as actual representations of a ‘state of anarchy’ that may at first seem surprising to you.
1. Playing Pick-Up Games
One of the best examples I could think of is being out at a beach that has one or more volleyball nets. More often than not, complete strangers are able to come and go into the game, play for as long as they want, or just hang around on the sidelines. People that are playing are quick to invite others to join in or take their place. There might be someone taking some leadership in terms of counting the score or evening up the teams, but it is firmly established that there is no authority that everyone must follow. Everyone is sovereign, and in the rare case that there is trouble, the collective inevitably is able to manage itself.
2. Making Love
In its most sacred forms, you might say, making love is a pure state of anarchy, where neither person rules or is ruled, but rather both enter into a symbiotic relationship in which one receives by giving, where freedom, spontaneity and creativity are aroused.
3. Driving On Remote Country Roads
Out in the country in general, one is freer to live by one’s instincts rather than by rules. There are no cops to check your speed, no stop signs where roads meet, and in a sense you move into a relaxed alertness, knowing that you will have to respond in case something happens (i.e. an animal suddenly crossing the road). This is another example of a state of anarchy that our mind longs for and enjoys.
If you would argue that this kind of anarchy would cause chaos in the city where there is more traffic, I would only partly agree. True, there are cases where we can all reasonably agree on some rules to make our lives better, like traffic lights; but at the same time, we have all experienced arriving at a busy intersection when the lights have gone out. Not only is there usually an orderly (if not slightly slower) process by which cars get through the intersection; there is a sense that we are all working together, respectful of each other as sovereign beings, and are able to operate quite fine without the interference of some coercive authority.
4. Having Friends Over
Having friends over for a barbecue, party, or another event is a complete state of anarchy, and usually better off for that. Rarely is there a sense that guests have to follow iron-clad rules, but rather gravitate to an environment where they can relax, be themselves, and share the basic enjoyment of being alive with each other. Bringing a gift or a bottle of wine along is a matter of personal choice, not compulsion. Friends are rarely barred from entering a party if they haven’t brought a gift. The same is true of hosts. While they feel they may have to fulfill certain obligations, these are self-imposed, not thrust upon them by some external force. It’s why we enjoy getting together in this fashion so much.
5. Being Alone
All by oneself, in the presence only of nature and the spaciousness of our own mind and imagination, is the quintessential state of anarchy. It is impossible to be alone and be ruled. In this quieting and stilling of our mind, we can eventually come to a greater appreciation of our innate personal sovereignty.
6. Children Playing
Children playing together gives us all hope for our potential liberation from external authority. Many people will recall the spontaneous, reckless abandon they felt in times they played together as kids, where natural and instinctive order was created from our innocence and purity. Seeing kids run around and hearing them sing and shout can certainly feel to us like a state of anarchy, but one which we often look upon with fondness and envy.
7. Nature Itself
Nature itself epitomizes a state of anarchy, where no organism ‘rules’ over another by any means of coercion. Rather, there is an ecology and a harmony of individual self-expression amongst the organism themselves, and according to principles of Gaia, there is even harmonious and life-supporting communications between different organisms, The communications between trees in a forest are well noted. In some ways, nature embodies the form of collective that advanced civilizations of sentient beings aspire to live in.
In our society, we generally look upon a state of anarchy as negative, which is one of the tools of that our oppressors use to keep us afraid of our natural desire for personal liberty and self-governance. Again, as I mention in my previous article on Natural Law, a state of anarchy is the desired state of truly sovereign individuals. However, before we work to destroy those forces that currently rule us, we must be ready to put something different in place, otherwise some other form of authority will simply fill the vacuum.
The key is that we collectively evolve towards becoming individually sovereign beings filled with love and compassion for each other in order to properly foster an ideal state of anarchy in our world.
Natural Law (Part 3): Moving Beyond Enslavement
- The Facts:
Our capacity to escape the enslavement and control we experience at the hands of our authority today is predicated on work on a personal level to become truly sovereign individuals.
- Reflect On:
How would our lives be different if we all knew and acted like we were sovereign individuals, answerable to no one? What kind of world would we create?
(note: if you haven’t read them already, I highly recommend reading the previous articles Natural Law (Part 1): A Reformed Satanist Illuminates Our Natural Power To Create and Natural Law (Part 2): Spending Our Spiritual Currency Wisely as an essential context for this discussion, as well as the video on Natural Law by Mark Passio referred to in this article.)
So far, our discussion has revolved around the capacity of human beings to create, in adherence with the principles that govern Natural Law. This capacity, when taken in the aggregate, makes us collectively responsible for the world that has been made manifest today. And looking at the world today, it is pretty safe to say that we have been party to our own enslavement, and on a collective level we still continue to sit idly by while our rights and freedoms are increasingly taken away.
This, perhaps above anything, is the reason that Mark Passio did his Natural Law seminar, to alert us to the fact that we have the power to create the world of freedom and harmony that we all say we want, but we still seem to lack the knowledge and the will to do it. By offering the knowledge behind it, Mark hopes that a proper understanding begins to proliferate among us and our will to change our world is sufficiently stoked.
The capacity to change things in our world requires adequate knowledge. We must learn how this process works, and then incorporate this knowledge in how we function internally (i.e. ‘Change starts within’). It is only when we first come to grips with the nature of our personal sovereignty that we are then capable of creating a world in which we are free.
We Are All Sovereign
Passio notes that Natural Law is expressed in human beings in either positive or negative ways. To express it positively, in other words, to create the experience for ourselves that we want, we need to be motivated by Love, grounded in Knowledge, and feel that we have Sovereignty. However, Natural Law is expressed negatively, and hence creates what we don’t want, when the generative emotion is Fear, our foundation is Ignorance, and our internal sense of self is Confusion.
Most people in our current world don’t consider themselves to be sovereign. In fact, in a survey Passio quotes, he said that only 11% of people questioned thought they were sovereign. Hence Passio makes his next point as emphatically as he can:
Why I say every single person here is a sovereign is because there is no such thing, never has been any such thing, and never will be any such thing as legitimacy to slavery. That has never existed, does not exist now, and never will exist. Slavery is an illegitimate concept. None of us are slaves.
The condition of slavery has been imposed upon people, but it has never in history been legitimate. And it never will in history be legitimate. So there is no legitimacy to the concept of slavery, of the rightful rulership of another being, through directly imposing your control through coercion. Doesn’t exist. That’s a big part of what Natural Law is about.
The reason this point is so important is that most of us have been brainwashed since we were young to believe that we need authority in our lives. Most of us still believe that we need a government to rule us by coercion. Many of us fear that otherwise we would be living in a state of–peril of all perils–anarchy!
But a state of ‘anarchy’, according to Passio, is exactly what sovereign beings should be striving for, because anarchy simply means, no ruler to which we have to bow down to, no master for whom we are the slaves. From its etymology, a state of anarchy does not mean chaos, confusion, or disorder. It simply means there’s nobody around to tell us what to do, that we are all able to act freely and without coercion–that we are individually sovereign.
However, this condition does not come about just by knowing we are sovereign by nature. Individuals of a given group or society have to fully embody the qualities of a sovereign individual in order for a society to be able to function in a state of anarchy, or even bring about the removal of all rulership in the first place. For Passio, our work is the development of personal integrity, in which all aspects of our being are in harmony with one another.
The Alignment of Thoughts, Emotions, And Actions
The way Passio terms it, our path to true sovereignty is by becoming our own ‘monarchs.’
A Sovereign is a Monarch (mon-: “one”; archon: “ruler”), a single ruler who only rules ‘the Kingdom of Self’; Sovereignty is a state in which one controls one’s own thoughts, emotions, and actions, and by bringing them into Unity/Non-Contradiction/Non-Duality, attains Mastery of one’s own Consciousness.
Bringing one’s thoughts, emotions, and actions into a state of unity–where have we heard this before? Of course, this corresponds to the Law of Attraction, our capacity to bring into being our desired manifestations based on our intentions–the power to create the world we want, essentially.
And so, it turns out, the way we get freed from slavery is not through violent revolution, as some would say our history books have taught us. Remember, our history book are written by our masters, and they are more than happy that we feel that we are free while they implement ever more insidious and subtle forms of slavery. It is well-known by our authority, and something we will discuss in subsequent articles, that slaves who do not know they are slaves are much more productive, and much less force and coercion is required for their obedience.
And that is why our personal internal work is paramount. The more we have self-rule as individuals, the more we can overcome the dictates of illegitimate authority as a collective. We can literally walk away from it, remove any power it has over us. As Passio notes, ‘If you have internal monarchy, you can have external anarchy.’
Our emancipation from slavery thus awaits the process by which individuals in our society develop self-responsibility, self-control, self-mastery. We will continue this series by discussing some of the people whose current lives are harbingers of personal sovereignty in adherence to Natural Law.
Love May Be Hiding In Plain Sight
People are falling in love all around me.
Yesterday, I met a new friend who said that she had fallen in love. Two days before that, a good friend came for lunch and said the same thing. “You wouldn’t believe it. She lived right down the street from me.”
A week before that, another friend fell in love with a man she met on Tinder. Today, I found out that another friend is dating a man who she finds incredible and she did not expect it!
But what’s really amazing about these stories? THEY WOULD NEVER HAVE RECOGNIZED THIS PERSON.
In every story, their new love doesn’t fit what they thought they were looking for. For some, the person wasn’t physically, or intellectually what they thought they were attracted to. For others, they lived too far away, had animals, children, the “wrong” job, or just a totally different outlook on life.
It’s the bodybuilder falling for a super curvy woman, the dark, goth friend falling for a wedding planner, or the vegetarian who can’t get enough of a hunter.
Every day, I hear:
- “I don’t get it. He/she is nothing like I thought I was looking for.”
- “You probably won’t understand it when you meet them… but I’m head over heels for them.”
- “There is such a crazy connection between us.”
- “They kiss me and I totally melt.”
- “They could have walked right by me on the street and I wouldn’t have given them a second glance.”
- “They are nothing like I was looking for. Yet, they are perfect for me!”
- “And the lovemaking… We make love for hours… Effortlessly… OMG!!”
What’s going on? Why are we falling in love with people whom we couldn’t have imagined before?
It’s a great question. As a tantra teacher listening to students and participants in my workshops, I have some ideas.
1) We are now looking for True Connection
Historically, we were looking for someone to marry, have children with and to fulfill a certain societal status. It’s like a picture was placed in our minds of what we are looking for. That picture could include a white picket fence, perfect family portraits, and Sunday dinners or it might be finding your ultimate rebellious partner with tattoos, a motorbike and concerts every weekend.
Regardless, we had a picture of what this canned life was going to look like. But of course, the picture in our mind didn’t include the feelings between you and your partner. Sure, we assumed that we would be happy and fulfilled. But what about the actual connection between you? This wasn’t necessarily part of the picture.
But today, it’s the passionate connection we seek. We want to feel alive when we are with this person. We want to want to be able to love them completely and we want to feel that love for us as well.
The old days of “looking good for the neighbours and family” (or looking “bad”) are gone. We care more about what is going on behind closed doors, than what it looks like from the outside.
2) The brainwashing about what is “attractive” is losing its power over us
We are becoming aware that we have been fed ideas about what is good-looking and that this is getting in the way of finding true love.
I used to be a belly-dancer. Historically, belly dancers were voluptuous women of at least middle age. Their bodies carried the stories of their lives and these stories were shared in the form of sensual dance. But over time, belly dance has become more mainstream. The dancers began having a Hollywood-like look to them – all thin, young with long dark hair. Soon, the middle-aged women with full bodies didn’t look attractive any longer. The audience’s eyes had changed (not everyone.. but enough).
Our eyes have been changed too. We watch movies where the leading men look like Brad Pitt or Denzel Washington and the women look like Angelina Jolie or Scarlett Johansson. The men are tall and muscular and the women are pencil thin with firm breasts. And everyone looks approximately 25 years old.
Then magazines and advertisers continue this conditioning in order to sell us gym memberships, face creams, protein drinks, and plastic surgery. Our brains have been gradually brainwashed so that we believe exactly what “they” want us to believe is beautiful.
And so, when it comes to finding love, this basically leaves the vast majority of the population out in the cold because we simply don’t look like these images.
But as more and more people strive to look like these photoshopped images, being falsely beautiful, fit or youthful starts to lose its appeal. You don’t have to go on too many dates from online apps with “beautiful, fit” people to find out that what they look like has absolutely nothing to do with connection, depth of the person, or what kind of lover they are.
In fact, many of the greatest tantric lovers I’ve known did not fit our stereotyped image. They would have been considered too fat, too thin, small penis, quirky, too short, too old, etc. Yet they had such an amazing focus on the connection, they were naturally tantric, and all the magic that we seek in lovemaking was effortlessly there.
3) We are truly awakening
The world has changed. Maybe it was the 2013 shift from the Age of Pisces to the Age of Aquarius. Maybe it’s just that we are evolving. But we can see more in each other than we could a decade ago.
We are more intuitive. We read people faster. We can feel their kindness or their indifference. We can feel their ability to connect or how shut down they are. We can feel their joy or their sadness almost immediately.
We aren’t as attached to being attached. We are more content to be alone – so we are more discerning in whom we choose to connect with. We are in full choice all of the time. We are seeking someone who truly adds to our lives, not just someone to fill in a strange picture in our minds.
We naturally see more than just someone’s physical appearance. Other aspects are shining through brighter than their physicality. They could be tall, short, fat, fit, old, young, disabled, or whatever, yet we see their spirit. We see their happiness. We see their soul. They may even shape-shift before our eyes – shifting from what society sees to the titan that appears to us in intimacy.
So what does this mean going forward?
“If only our eyes saw souls instead of bodies, how different our ideals of beauty would be.”
If you are seeking love and true connection, here are some questions to ask yourself:
- Do you have an idea in your head that is blinding you to who is right in front of you?
- Who put the ideas in your head of what your love must look, sound, or act like?
- Is there a need for a partner to look, act or sound a certain way for your self-worth? Is pride holding you back?
- Are you open to exploring relationships with people who don’t fit the image that you are holding in your mind?
- Who is right in front of you but you can’t see them?
The times are changing. We are evolving. We want more than what a relationship that looks good on the surface can bring us. We are seeking a deeper experience. We want to go to the next level.
So, if you are seeking love, have hope. None of these friends of mine had any idea that this was going to happen. Many were well on their way of giving up hope that there was anyone out there for them.
When suddenly “he/she” appeared.
And they appeared in the most unlikely places.
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