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9 Lessons I’ll Teach My Children Before They Finish School

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 “In school, you’re taught a lesson and given a test. In Life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson” – Tom Bodett

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During several positive transformations over the past 3 years, I have learned so many lessons. Prior to my period of rapid personal growth it was widely accepted by my friends and family that I had enough of a challenge looking after myself, let alone a baby one day. I was an immature, drinking, gambling womanizer. I was stuck in what I would call a ‘destructive life cycle’.

After nearly losing the ability to walk twice in 1 year through car and soccer accidents, I finally took charge of my life. I built on my Masters Degree in Psychology and I read over 300 self-development books in 3 years. I have been fortunate enough to transform myself to the extent where I now use my passion to help others. The distance I have traveled was summed up when my girlfriend looked at me and said “Jermaine, you’re going to be an amazing Dad”. I thought; “Wow, am I really?”

I got to thinking about all of the powerful things that I have learned over the last couple of years and I have come up with a list of the 9 lessons I will be proud to teach my children by the time they finish school and enter the world & the marketplace.

1.) Focus On Your Priorities

It is important that you work out what your priorities are in your life and take action on them every single day if possible. Don’t juggle things around and keep making ‘To-Do-Lists’, just start doing things.

2.) A Problem Can Be A Fun Challenge 

Even though a problem can bring you some stress, you will often find that it will end up being a challenge that if successfully dealt with it will bring you closer to your goal. Making this small mental adjustment of looking at problems as stepping stones to the ultimate goal will give you a massive advantage in every pursuit.

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3.) Happiness Comes From Within

If you find yourself tying your happiness to things that are taking place in the outside world you are going to be disappointed. However, decide to base your happiness on things that you can control, such as your thoughts and what you are grateful for at any given moment and you will find yourself happy a lot more often.

4.) Do What Is Hard And Life Will Be Easy

High achievers often find themselves doing many difficult and boring things along the way. Things like sticking to routines, considering a situation in great detail or practicing their craft for 10 hours a day. These are all things that may seem boring and difficult at the time but they are necessary for you to get the life you want.

5.) Improvement Requires Repetition

When I was first turning my life around I realised that just reading about these tools and strategies was going to do very little. I had to get up and do the things that my mentors and role models were suggesting. Then I had to do them again! Whatever change that I was trying to make I had to consciously repeat the desired thought process and behaviours until they were ingrained in my psyche and became part of who I am.

6.) Learn By Doing

If you wait until ‘the time is right’ you will be waiting forever. The longer that you find yourself in that ‘preparation stage’ the more reasons you will find to not actually start. Make mistakes, and then readjust. Develop the skills that you need as you need them and you will get better, faster.

7.) Let The Opinions Of Others Stay With Them

Move through life exactly as you want to. If someone tries to tell you that your goal of starting a multi-million dollar business from nothing is crazy; let them think that and realize that it doesn’t matter what they think. The important thing is what YOU think.  When I told the doctor I was going to cure myself of asthma and he said it wasn’t possible I just said ‘thank you for your opinion’ and cured myself anyway.

8.) Make Your Money Work For You

The successful people that I have met and studied all invested their money in something. Usually they start out by investing money in themselves and then they invest their money into things that will make them a passive income in the future.

9.) Your Health Is A Gift

Once you have set your sights on great achievement and making a difference in this world it becomes apparent that this is going to take a lot of energy and there is no real time for ‘Sick Days’. Fuel and maintain your body to the extent where you feel energised every day. Give yourself 90% life giving, energy producing, healthy foods and allow the remaining 10% to be ‘treats’. It is vital that you don’t get this the wrong way around. If you lose your health, there isn’t much left.

This is by no means an exhaustive list and when I have children I will be mentoring them and teaching them many lessons to the best of my ability as each year passes. However, these are the 9 lessons that came to mind when I was thinking about some crucial thoughts that I’d love to pass on to them before they leave school.

 

What lessons would you like to teach your children or what have you taught them already? Share with us below!

 

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Consciousness

Ex-Government Physicist Shares What He Knows About ‘Activating’ ESP (Psi) Dreaming

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Dale E. Graff, a physicist and former director of the US government/Stanford remote viewing program shares his knowledge about dreaming, and how we can all experience what he calls 'Psi' dreaming.

  • Reflect On:

    How much have our governments and black budget programs really discovered within these realms? How much is known and why are they keeping t classified?

The most astonishing fact about studies within the realm of parapsychology (Psi) is that they are often shunned by the mainstream media and this comes despite the fact that they have extremely high amounts of credibility within the realms of academia. Parapsychology deals with phenomena like pre-cognition, remote viewing, telepathy, mind matter interaction, and more that fall under the label of extra sensory perception (ESP), and the truth is, there is no reason why these topics should not be studied openly within the mainstream. Why is it that they are ridiculed in that realm, but have been studied at the highest levels of government for decades with high amounts of success and credibility? The US/Stanford University STARGATE project is one of many examples that confirm parapsychology’s legitimacy.

These programs usually run and are funded by the black budget. Find out where trillions of our tax dollars are going here.

Dr. Jessica Utts, the Chair of the Department of Statistics at the University of California, Irvine makes a great point on the show Talking Points, further emphasizes my point.

“What convinced me was just the evidence, the accumulating evidence as I worked in this field and I got to see more and more of the evidence. I visited the laboratories, even beyond where I was working to see what they were doing and I could see that they had really tight controls… and so I got convinced by the good science that I saw being done. And in fact I will say as a statistician I’ve consulted in a lot of different areas of science; the methodology and the controls on these experiments are much tighter than any other area of of science where I’ve worked.” (source)

Based on all of my research into the field of parapsychology, the information seems to be shunned away from in mainstream academia simply because it has an association with superstition, spirituality, metaphysics and ‘magic’. This alone, no matter how strong the evidence and how significant the results when studied in a scientific setting, instantly have closed-minded ‘non-believers’ yell out pseudoscience. There is instant condemnation without investigation and sometimes, “protecting against this possibility sometimes seems more important than encouraging scientific exploration or protecting academic freedom. But this may be changing.” Said Cassandra Vieten, PhD and President/CEO at the Institute of Noetic Sciences (source).

One realm within the topic of parapsychology is the study of our dreams and there is no better person to learn about dreams from than than Dale E. Graff.  Graff is an MS in Physics and a life long investigator of Psi phenomena specializing in a variety of extrasensory perception (ESP) topics including remote viewing and precognitive dreaming. He has a scientific background in the aerospace industries and in technical intelligence assignments for the Department of Defense. He was also a director of the STARGATE program mentioned above.

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In the lecture below, he answers the following questions: What is Psi dreaming? How can individuals experience Psi dreams? How can Psi dreaming be researched and evaluated scientifically? What can we do with Psi dreaming? How can Psi dreaming be understood relative to other forms of Psi, such as remote viewing and some types of intuition?

He provides information about how Psi dreaming is accomplished, and goes into the evidence and investigations that have shown evidence for the reality of Psi dreaming. He talks about how Psi dreaming may occur and provides exercises to assist in dream recall, among other things.

The Takeaway

A great quote that’s often attributed to Nikola Tesla reads as follows, “The day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one decade than in all the previous centuries of its existence.”  This is true I believe, just take a look at quantum physics for example, it really opened up the collective mind about non-physical factors of reality and how it may influence material physical reality. It also demonstrated that matter itself, which makes up all of physical reality, is not really physical at all, that it’s mostly comprised of energy. Just look at the atom, the smallest observable piece of matter, it’s what everything else is made up of. An atom is almost all empty space, more than 99 percent of it to be exact. The kicker? That empty space is not useless, and from what we know now, “empty space” is really not “empty” at all. This is why I’ve always stressed the importance in many of my previous articles of this quote from theoretical physicist John Wheeler:

No point is more central than this, that space is not empty, it is the seat of the most violent physics.”

Another great quote from Tesla:

“All perceptible matter comes from a primary substance, or tenuity beyond conception, filling all space, the akasha, or luminiferous ether, which is acted upon by the life-giving Prana or creative force, calling into existence, in never-ending cycles all things and phenomena.” – Nikola Tesla, Man’s Greatest Achievement, 1907

I go into a deeper discussion regarding non-physical reality within this article if you’d like to learn more: Scientists Call Out “Dark Matter” – Have We Been Wrong About It All Along?

The point is, non-physical reality, and the metaphysical world is not limited to philosophy, but it’s been subjected to rigorous investigation and science. The collective mind seems to be opening up quite rapidly, but just as we look back in the past to some concepts now accepted as truth that were once considered blasphemy, it’s important to remember that this type of resistance still exists today.

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Consciousness

How To Stop Self-Sabotage & Get Out Of Your Own Way

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    While we all have our fair share of obstacles to overcome in life, in many cases, we are the biggest obstacles standing in our way. Thankfully, there are things we can all do to cut back on self-sabotaging behaviour.

  • Reflect On:

    How much am I holding myself back from? What, if anything, am I getting from keeping myself in the state I am in?

Whether or not you consider yourself a creative person, we are all creative powerhouses. Proof of this lies within our minds, which are consistently concocting ideas, scenarios, goals and so much more that all play a prominent role in the life that we live.​

While some of us thrive at making the most of the constructive impulses that come our way, the vast majority of us instead seem to excel at running with those that are instead destructive in nature. We may feel as though we live in a world filled with ruthless competition, but in reality our biggest competitor both operates and exists within us.

“Addiction, self-sabotage, procrastination, laziness, rage, chronic fatigue and depression are all ways that we withhold our full participation in the program of life we are offered. When the conscious mind cannot find a reason to say no, the unconscious says no in its own way.” – Charles Eisenstein, The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know Is Possible

Here are some of what I’ve found to be the most common ways in which we sabotage ourselves and what we can all do to get out of our own way:

The Problem With Overthinking

One of the most common ways that we sabotage ourselves is by overthinking. Don’t get me wrong, there are a number of situations and scenarios in which reflecting on something extensively is not only beneficial, but often the best course of action. However, the number of times where that is the case is far outweighed by the number of times we opt to overthink.

One second we are excited about a new idea, and within hours, or sometimes minutes, we’ve concretely established three worst case scenarios, two of which have a 0.001% likelihood of ever occurring, and we’ve sold ourselves on the conclusion that we shouldn’t even bother. Sound familiar?

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If overthinking is an issue for you, I recommend that you try adding journaling into your daily life. I personally like to follow the protocol outlined in the infamous book The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, which encourages you to journal first thing in the morning, but taking any time out of your day to allow your mind to metaphorically dump onto the page can be life-changing. Let yourself write literally anything and everything that comes to mind. It may feel counterproductive at first, but you’d be surprised at how often writing things out can make your thoughts feel heard, allowing you to more easily assess the healthy from the unhealthy and move past those that would have previously sabotaged your creativity.

Cut The Comparison

Another common way in which we frequently self sabotage is through comparison, especially in our social media driven world where measuring ourselves against others has never been more prevalent. With a couple of swipes and scrolls we can easily compare ourselves to hundreds of other people, most of which are portraying themselves and their lives inaccurately.

If comparison is your “Achilles heel”, there are two things you can do: 1) cut back on how much time you spend on social media, and 2) actively challenge yourself to celebrate rather than compare yourself to the accomplishments of others.

For example, I could very easily look at the work of someone like Jay Shetty–whose content falls largely under a similar umbrella to mine–and see that it’s being seen by millions of people compared to the thousands that mine is typically consumed by, and allow myself to get down because of that. Or I can alternatively look at his accomplishments, including his recent appearance on The Ellen Show–a longtime goal of mine–and instead be happy for him, seeing his success as living proof that there is an audience for this content.

Sorry, I Was Distracted

A third lesser-known way in which we sabotage ourselves, occasionally even subconsciously, is through distraction. Rather than taking immediate action or even the smallest of steps to further establish the healthy neural pathway that is trying to form, we closet that creativity by opting to distract ourselves from listening to it.

Common ways that we do this include picking up our phones and checking social media, or using our fatigue to justify sitting on the couch and watching some TV, both of which always provide more than enough content for us to engage with in a far less creative manner.

If distraction is your self sabotage speciality, consider setting aside set periods each day where you do not allow yourself to engage with any form of technology. Whether you opt to read a book, meditate or spend some time out in nature, give your mind the daily opportunity to reacclimatize to what that experience feels like, and you may be pleasantly surprised by what it leads to.


For more brutally honest personal development content designed for those who actually want to change be sure to subscribe to my YouTube Channel and to follow me on Instagram. And to receive my free eBook on 5 Simple Daily Hacks For A Genuinely Happier Life click HERE.

Article originally written for and published by Ideapod.

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Consciousness

My 3 Weeks Listening To Only 1 Song & What I Learned About Focus

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Music impacts us in more ways than we likely think. It turns out that purposely listening to a single song or playlist could work wonders when it comes to creativity and focus.

  • Reflect On:

    What music do you regularly listen to, especially as you work? Pay attention to how every song you listen to makes you feel both during and after playing it.

In the name of personal development and health, I’ve always been someone who has enjoyed challenging myself and trying new things. And while you think that I would have logically taken at least a bit of a break after recently going 400+ days without candy (read about that HERE), I opted to instead jump immediately into my next adventure.

This time I challenged myself, an avid lover of music, to only be able to listen to one song of my choosing for what turned out to be three straight weeks.

While the idea behind this may sound crazy to many of you, I’m not the first one to do it. In fact, my inspiration stemmed from the bestselling book Tools of Titans: The Tactics, Routines, and Habits of Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers by infamous life-hacker Tim Ferriss. In one of the many sections that the book is broken into, Tim reveals that a number of prominent individuals have purposely chosen to listen to just one song or soundtrack on repeat while working on a given project.

Free solo climbing phenom Alex Honnold, the lead developer of WordPress Matt Mullenweg, and female obstacle course racer Amelia Boone are just 3 of the many examples that the book outlines.

Currently having a lot on my creative plate, in addition to running my company, I decided to try it out. The song I chose was ‘Time’ by Hans Zimmer, a song most infamously known for its place on the Inception Soundtrack.

Now, I will fully admit that this was not the only song that I heard over the course of these three weeks, since I opted to: A) not shut myself out from the rest of the world to ensure this was possible, and B) not be the person who approached the employees of every public venue I went to requesting that they change their current playlist for a classical song on repeat. But aside from those times, it was all that I heard.

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I listened to it while working, driving, working out, cooking and more. Here are some of my key takeaways:

The Song Never Got Old

The most surprising takeaway for me from this entire experience was that I can honestly say that I never got tired of listening to the song I chose. According to my iTunes, as of the moment I am writing this sentence, the song has been played a whopping 473 times and to be honest I wouldn’t mind hearing it right now.

It Becomes A Form Of Musical Meditation

In my experience, having the same song play on repeat allowed it to become a form of musical meditation. My mind always knew what to expect and it was able to coast on autopilot to that expectation while focusing on whatever primary activity I was engaging in at the time.

As someone whose musical taste is typically quite eclectic to say the least, having a level playing field was honestly a pleasant experience. Not to mention I didn’t waste any time or lose focus by frequently searching for or skipping songs as I normally would.

Song Choice Is Critical

As much as I love ‘Time’ by Hans Zimmer, no part of me would have listed it as my favorite song of all-time prior to this experience (and for the record it still isn’t). That being said, for these purposes it was exactly what I needed.

I’m not suggesting that we should all listen to the same song that I did, but to instead make our selection based on what we know is most likely to work with us. In my case, I knew that only something in the classical realm with no lyrics stood a chance at being the only song played for more than 24 hours.

Ultimately, if you have something to focus on, I highly suggest trying this out. I personally enjoyed it so much that not only did the initial challenge evolve from what was supposed to be one week into three weeks, but I am also still listening to it whenever I need to focus on a specific task at hand (such as writing my book). I allow myself to listen to the other music I love whenever I find myself doing things that don’t require so much of my attention, but when it comes to locking in, Hans Zimmer’s Time is my anthem!


For more brutally honest personal development content designed for those who actually want to change be sure to subscribe to my YouTube Channel and to follow me on Instagram. And to receive my free eBook on 5 Simple Daily Hacks For A Genuinely Happier Life click HERE.

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