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Consciousness

7 Habits For Healthy Relationships

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1. Understanding Self 

 “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle

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Like most things we do in life the first step always begins with how we relate to ourselves as humans and how comfortable we are with ourselves. We have a far better chance to share more meaningful relationships with others if we are at peace with ourselves.  As humans we spend much of our time engaging in trivial or superficial dialogue and not in deeper more meaningful conversation, we exist at this artificial level of  consciousness. At such a superficial level we find it difficult to experience our ultimate feeling of connection and communion with others. Only upon silent reflection and understanding of ourselves can we begin to let go and let others enter our lives without  fear, prejudice and preconceived ideas. We continually evolve during the course of our lives. We develop and grow at a physical, emotional and spiritual level. We are  products of our past experiences, unfortunately too often we let these control how we react to situations and relationships. We must come to the realisation that we are able to consciously control how we engage with others. Often we see people coming out of poor relationships only to fall back into the trap of having the same experiences again.  This cycle of dependency and patterning can see people in destructive and unhappy relationships for many years, decades and often lifetimes.

To love someone and find happiness we must achieve inner contentment with who we are and what we believe. It is only when we are content within ourselves that we are able to release the expectations we would otherwise place on others. We are free to love unconditionally when we are free from our ‘ego’ centred self. So how do we truly get to know and love ourselves?

2. Letting Go of Fear & Insecurity

“Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” – William James

Have you ever entered into a relationship because at the time you thought it would make you happy? Be honest. You were a little unsatisfied with life and in need of something to bring some variety or distraction into your life. We look for relationships that will enhance our lives in the hope that they will bring us a multitude of different feelings and experiences. Our thoughts can sabotage any hope of a truly meaningful connection if we see relationships as something that seek to bring us happiness. Until we realise that happiness comes from within and that relationships are but a common and enriching sharing of experiences, then we will always struggle to have meaningful long-term relationships. Needing someone to add value to our lives is a sure way of dooming any relationship. By understanding our ego needs we can let go of any need to seek satisfaction by grasping to others to fulfil these needs. Until we understand no one can complete us and make us truly happy we will always be living a life of turbulence. Others can enrich our world, yet it is ultimately up to us to find inner happiness and contentment. A sure way to destroy any relationship is to harbour fear and insecurity in a relationship. Inner happiness can only be found within. Any reliance on others to bring us happiness will be short term at best or will eventually lead to disappointment.

3. Living Without Expectations

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” – Marcel Proust

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What do you expect from any relationship? Love? Security? The feeling of being needed?  An underlying cause of relationship failures, whether people are aware of it or not, is that they enter into relationships based on expectation. That is, they enter into the relationship hoping to receive something in return. Relationship breakdowns often occur because people rarely discuss their expectations prior to entering into a relationship. Too often we enter relationships and want to change something about the other person to suit our ego model of how things ‘should be.’ Many couples have ‘requirements’ for potential partners. These may include such things as appearance,  social standing, employment criteria, so on and so forth. I am not advocating that we find a partner we have nothing in common with. It does make sense to look deeper than the ‘ego related’ requirements we look for in our relationships. We must ask ourselves, are we using our relationships purely to satisfy the ego? Expectation can be the killer of relationships, with undue influence, pressure and demands creating relationship tensions. We must learn to let the other person be who they are and free from our expectations.

4. Communicating Effectively

“Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.” – Richard Bach

According to Doctors Lonnie Barbach & Linda Levine in their book, ‘Shared Intimacy,’ “Good communication in a relationship is similar to a solid foundation for a house. If a house is built with a strong foundation, it will be able to withstand the stress caused by such natural disasters such as hurricanes or tornadoes. Even if the rest of the house is damaged or destroyed, if the foundation is solid the house can be rebuilt.” Direct and honest communication leaves no doubt to the meaning of communicative interactions. Being able to share problems and issues within a relationship helps build a stronger bond between partners and stimulate a deeper more meaningful relationship. Participating equally in the communication process by listening and interacting, creates an atmosphere of two way communication.

While poor communication underlies many of the destructive forces that harm and ruin relationships, positive communication plays an important part in helping build and sustain meaningful relationships. Over time, the day-to-day reality of living, responsibilities and family commitments, allows familiarity and complacency to creep into our relationships. When this happens it is easy to start taking our partner for granted. A combination of familiarity and stress may create unnecessary conflict within a relationship. These conflicts may be short lived or ongoing and can be the foundation for relationship decline. It is imperative to have a firm understanding of our partner’s communication style so we can consciously appreciate each other fully as human beings. How do you communicate with others and what are the communication styles of your loved ones? While everyone has slightly different communication styles a simple way to ensure you maintain and foster healthy communication is to put yourself in the other persons shoes. Think about how you would like to be treated.

5. Unconditional Love

“The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.” – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

The foundation of all great relationships is based on unconditional love. Unconditional love is when we give love and in return want nothing back. It is caring about the happiness of another person without any need for reciprocation. It is something sages, mystics, artists and great leaders have talked about throughout the millennia. It is the greatest power on earth, yet in this modern world of excess we struggle to understand how to give unconditionally. It is a powerful force that can change everything. Unconditional love is free of restrictions or expectations as nothing is expected in return. A classic example can be seen in parenting. A parent may love their child unconditionally and while the feeling may be reciprocated by the child, the parent’s love will endure regardless of how the child feels, behaves or acts. It is seeking the best for others and understanding that they need to be free and make their own choices. It is not judging others regardless of their decisions and actions.

6. Honesty the Best Policy

“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most effective ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” – Stephen R. Covey

It goes without saying that one of the keys to a successful relationship is honesty, openness and mutual trust. Honesty builds trust which is essential for enduring relationships of any kind. The trust of another is the most important thing we can ever receive from another. Not only does it help develop confidence and respect for the other person, it establishes life long bonds. A strong relationship through sincere honesty can endure almost anything. If strong communication is the foundation of a good relationship, then honesty is the cement that holds it together. In honest relationships we are open and frank with each other and hold nothing back. Our honesty sets us free from guilt, worry and any other form of potential sabotage we can bring forth to destroy our relationships. Any relationship that does not harbour honesty will eventually cause stress, grief and suffering to one or both parties. Intimacy is lost when people are not completely open and honest with each other. Once trust has been broken it is extremely difficult, if not impossible to restore. When everything is shared, people can experience relaxed, comfortable and more complete interactions with others. With intimacy comes a deep connection, understanding and knowledge of each other. This sharing of feelings, experiences and communication is the ultimate expression of love and makes for happy and fulfilling relationships

7. Freedom to be Yourself and Let Others be Themselves

“Love is the only freedom in the world because it so elevates the spirit that the laws of humanity and the phenomena of nature do not alter its course.” – Kahlil Gibran

As we have mentioned previously, expectation is often a heavy burden that weighs down and places undue pressure on relationships. The opposite of expectation is unconditional love, as this allows complete freedom from any rules, regulation, mandates or conditional behaviours. We place conditional expectations on people often without realising. We may want to spend more time with a partner, we may prefer they didn’t do certain activities, we may want certain feelings returned from a relationship and we often send messages of disapproval in many non-verbal ways. By remembering that a relationship is a two way street and we must take into account what others feel and wish for in a relationship. By requesting or pushing for certain things from a relationship, we are effectively trying to change the behaviour of others. Freedom in a relationship, be it an intimate interpersonal relationship, a friendship, or a working relationship, promotes trust, respect and provides an environment for happy and enduring relationships to blossom.

Article by Andrew Martin editor of onenesspublishing  and author of  One ~ A Survival Guide for the Future…

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Excerpts from One ~ A Survival Guide for the Future…

 

 

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Consciousness

6 Of The Most Asked Questions On Google & What They Say About Us

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Google is an incredible resource that helps us get the answers to many of life's questions at incredible speeds. But as our search habits suggest, we seem to be turning to it a bit too much for a number of unhealthy reasons.

  • Reflect On:

    What are you regularly turning to Google for? Are the answers you're getting actually of value, or are they instead rooted in a deeper issue?

The world is filled with a seemingly endless number of resources for us to tap into or seek out the council of. Yet, when it comes to finding the answers to some of our most important questions we all seem to go to one place: Google.

And while Google may be incredibly effective at providing us access to the answers of many of our questions at what seems like light-speed, it can also be quite damaging.

To illustrate this I’d like to present to you six of the most commonly asked questions that we as a collective tend to turn to Google for, what I believe they say about humanity, and why we need to stop turning to Google for the answers to them.

Please note that these are just six OF the most asked questions, and not the six most. These six are particular ones that stood out to me as troubling and worth commenting on. So here they are in ascending order based on how frequently they are searched per month globally. (All stats found on Mondovo

A written version of the video is available below as well.

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6. Which celebrity do I look like?

Search frequency: 14,800 times per month

While on the surface this search seems purely fun, what concerns me about it being searched with such frequency is that it really showcases how much our thoughts are rooted in comparison.

We all know that social media as a whole is a cesspool of comparison, where the vast majority of us post nothing but the highlight reel captures of our life rather than true snippets of our reality. The last thing we need is to even further compare ourselves to those we aren’t connected to on social media -especially those who for the most part work in an industry obsessed with physical appearances.

We need to keep in mind that the way Katy Perry looks on the red carpet is different from the way she looks upon waking up on a Friday morning. Let’s choose to embrace our uniqueness and spend our spare time being ourselves rather than comparing that person to who we think we need to be.

5. Why did I get married?

Search frequency: 49,500 times per month

With divorce rates being where they are, we all know that the institution of marriage is rapidly crumbling before our feet. And while whether that is a good or bad thing is a matter of opinion, I still don’t think we should be turning to Google for reminders on why we opted to participate in it.

Rather than reading someone’s blog on why you should appreciate your partner, or another person’s rant on why we should all run from marriage like the plague, choose to spend that time instead of having an open conversation with your spouse.

Be honest about where you stand with things and come to a collective conclusion as to what you can and cannot do as the next steps.

4. Who unfollowed me on Instagram?

Search frequency: 74,000 times per month

This is my personal favourite on the list because there are few things that amuse me more than seeing the importance that so many of us put on our “Instagram ratio”.

Long gone are the days where we happily followed and liked everyone and everything, and here to stay are the days where we handpick who we follow to give off a “celebrity status” based on the seemingly much higher amount of people who have chosen to follow us.

If you care so much about your following count dropping from 714 to 713 that you need to look into who it was that you lost overnight (or even if you realize that the drop happened at all) you’ve got some serious self-worth issues that you need to address and work beyond.

3. How to make money online?

Search frequency: 135,000 times per month

As someone who has not only worked for various companies who have made substantial amounts of money online, and who has several initiatives to do so myself, I can tell you one thing: it doesn’t come easy!

It not only takes persistent and high-quality effort to build a YouTube subscriber base or to create a website that generates regular traffic, it also takes money to make money.

We need to debunk the belief that the internet is a great way to get rich quick. Realize that everyone who is advertising their online course, seminar, or book designed to help you do this, is doing that as their primary tactic to attain wealth -and they’re paying a hell of a lot of money to get their ad in your face. Those who have attained it have much bigger and better things to do.

2. How to lose weight fast?

Search frequency: 301,000 times per month

On the surface, this too seems well-intentioned since it’s great to see that a large portion of us are regularly searching for ways to improve our health. But what concerns me about this is largely the last word: fast.

We live in a world where we need instantaneous results (hence why we’re turning to Google in the first place) or we don’t bother. Long-term solutions exist but we have virtually no confidence in our ability to commit to anything, so we instead opt for ways to cheat the system.

If losing weight or gaining muscle is truly important to you, than focus on what you’ll need to do to keep yourself motivated to put the work in to get there rather than what can zap it away.

1. Any and all health advice

Search frequency: Unknown but seemingly infinite

We’ve all done it. We go to Google for advice on a persistent pimple and three minutes later we’re convinced that we are mere weeks away from being on our deathbed.

While there are plenty of great articles and medical journals scattered throughout the net, there is also a lot of “click-baity” crap with nothing to support much of what it suggests.

Please understand that this is NOT an attack against alternative media outlets, I firmly believe that even the most widely-accepted forms of media are ladened in questionable sourcing and ruled by greed. So rather than taking your chances, why not instead turn a trusted healthcare professional who can diagnose your unique circumstance?


For more brutally honest personal development content designed for those who actually want to change, be sure to subscribe to my YouTube Channel and to follow me on Facebook.

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Consciousness

When You’re Feeling Like Crap, Don’t Personalize It!

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Sometimes when we are feeling like crap, we make the stories we tell ourselves very personal and thus make it part of who we are. We have the ability to see past this and instead see the reason why we are feeling this way.

  • Reflect On:

    Why do we give so much power to the stories we tell ourselves? Why do we get so stuck in victim states all the time? Keep on practising, stay patient and know that there is information in our feelings about what we need to reflect on.

We all go through moments of feeling down, when you’re in it, try not to personalize it.

When you personalize you grab onto the pain and linger on it; you keep mulling the thought over and over in your head.

When you’re going through hell, keep going.

You can’t make the distance shorter but you can move through it faster. So push to get to the worst feeling as quick as possible – the relief lies beyond that.

The down periods will never go away; you need to let go of that idea. You just get better at managing it all.

You have to get better at managing it: you get a bigger empath load as you progress to a higher vibration.

This is why the lows are still so low even though you’ve shifted so much and grown so much; you’re pulling bigger volumes of energy to shift from the morphic field.

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The reason it feels like you’re rehashing the same stuff? They send you loads of whatever energies you’re already good at shifting… so the stuff you’ve already previously let go of and shifted.

That’s the stuff that should be easy for you to shift because you’ve faced the personalized layer where the examples cause you pain.

What do I mean?

If you hear about someone cheating, you listen with interest maybe. But if you think of yourself in their shoes (personalize), or draw on your own past painful example, then you immediately feel the fear and pain.

Try it… let’s say someone was cold last night, maybe they froze to death. You feel some empathy sure.

But if I say it’s YOUR child that froze to death…? Even the words shocked you.

You may give a passing thought to the cold homeless people, but if your child was lost outside on a freezing night, you’d get no sleep. You wouldn’t be able to think about anything else in fact.

It’s only EMOTIONALLY relevant to you when you attach a personal example or story and attach it to the people in your life.

If you want to break this cycle permanently, you need to train yourself to find higher level lessons in your shifts – when you find the higher lesson, the need for the lower lessons fall away.

So an example is realising you’re not accepted by people unless you behave the way they want you to and give them what they want.

On a personal level, this hurts, because it’s a reminder of your loneliness, isolation, lack of worth etc. It’s a reminder that people don’t want what you have to offer as you; they really only use you for what they can get. Stings hey?

However cycle that up to a god level lesson (how God views man), and it becomes the pattern of how people treat gods. They only turn to the gods when they need something or want something, using God like a servant, to fetch and carry.

Basically, this is the way everyone treats divine beings by default – and this behavior is just a standard human behavior.

If it’s just normal behavior, then it’s not being done to you, it’s just happening around you.

You have a choice about how you look at any lesson, and where you choose to focus.

So for today try to cycle your lessons up… see if you can spot how man treats god through the view of ego, or how god views man without any ego or attachment to physical life.

In the mirrors tools, mirrors 6, 7, 8 & 9 deal with soul, balance, dark and cosmos. Those are all higher vibration lessons. Free mirrors tools at: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/newmirrors/

Look for recursions from the creation story ( http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/the-creation-unification-story-for-lightworkers ) or play the game of trying to guess who else around you has similar – or worse – challenges to face.

Remind yourself of what you have, right now. Are your needs taken care of right now? Do you have a roof over your head? Food? Clothes? Yes? Then all is good.

And even if the answer is no, find something to be grateful for and hold onto that.

No shift ever lasts forever…

No matter how crap you’ve felt in the past, it’s always turned.

In fact, that’s exactly why you’re looking for a way out… you know it’s possible to feel different.

This will pass – all you have to do is survive a few days of feeling crappy, and remember not to turn into a serial killer. This is why it’s us… they can send us this level of pain and we stay good people. We don’t become serial killers or perpetuate pain.

So just ask for help to accept what you’re shifting and surrender to the process. Call on your guides and angels for help.

Here are a few different options for surrender processes: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/surrender-acceptance-letting-go

What it looks like in practice

Even at my level, these periods still hit me. The difference now is how I handle them.

I stay patient and accept it will pass.

I look for global energies and patterns in those around me.

I don’t personalize or linger and if anything is stuck in my inner voice I mirror it out straight away.

I ask for help all the time.

I don’t rush in and start anything – I force myself to plan first so that I’m sure of the idea and I don’t waste time creating something half-baked or that I won’t use, or that I feel guilty about.

The only thing that’s changed is how I behave inside a shift.

Yes shifting shifts the energies, but you have to learn tools and change your habits and behaviors as well.

At the end you’re going to realise that the key is the moment you took control… you may as well take control now and prevent yourself all this unnecessary pain and suffering.

Sometimes circumstances suck… but that doesn’t mean you have to suffer.

You always have a choice about that.

Hang in there. This period has to be over soon…. they’re never longer than two or three weeks.

If you’re already stuck on something, the fastest way out is to push through and find your way to the bottom of the ego death – http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/how-to-do-shadow-work-how-to-face-your-dark-shadow-or-ego

Get Your FREE In Depth Numerology Reading

Your life path number can tell you A LOT about you.

With the ancient science of Numerology you can find out accurate and revealing information just from your name and birth date.

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Consciousness

Summer Solstice 2018: The Spiritual Significance & How You Can Reflect In Your Life

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Today, June 21st 2018 is the summer solstice. It is a time where we welcome the season of Summer and can begin reflecting on various things.

  • Reflect On:

    This is the ideal time to consider ways we can balance the masculine and feminine forces in our lives. Where could you use a little more gentle, receptive yin? Where could you yang it up and put in more action-oriented, decisive energy?

The summer solstice is here! This is certainly a day worth celebrating and not just because it represents the longest day of the year for everyone living North of the equator, hello sun — but also because of the symbolic meaning behind it. The summer solstice has been an important day throughout history and for good reason.

The summer solstice marks a time for the celebration of Mother Nature, fun and of course the sun. The sun brings us warmth and light and I’m sure that is something that we can all appreciate.

Solstice At Stonehenge

Stonehenge has been a popular spot throughout recorded time to celebrate this day because it was built to directly align with the solstices, but only during the summer solstice specifically does the rising sun reach the middle of the stones and shine on the central altar. Clearly, whoever or whatever built Stonehenge had this in mind, and it must have been of great significance in order to take on the process of constructing one of the 7 wonders of the ancient world.

According to BBC’s coverage of a solstice event several years ago, the event included an interview with those who appreciate solstice the most,

“We believe it is very important for people to move with the cycles of nature, and actually feel them. If you get up early in the morning and you watch that special sunrise, you’ve been a part of it. The rest of the year is shaped by that. And we think it’s a really healthy thing to do and a very spiritual thing to do.”

 

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What Is So Significant Of The Summer Solstice?

Melanie Beckler, the author of Angel Messages, said the Summer Solstice is a time of “energetic opening” and “celestial potential” pouring out from the sun.

She explained: “Symbolically the Summer Solstice represented enlightenment, awakening and the triumph of lightness over darkness.

Aside from the celebration of the sun, it marks the first day of summer, and really, who doesn’t love summer? Many believe that the summer solstice is all about taking a chance to express gratitude for the gifts of harvest, bounty, and abundance.

Pagans hold a religious ritual on the solstice to honor and acknowledge the turning of the wheel of the year and the new season that is upon us.

While to some it may feel fairly insignificant, we are inhabitants on this earth and just as the earth does, we also go through changes. We are in tune, whether aware or not of what happens on the planet and it affects us, too.

According to the astrotwins, The season of Cancer will last 30 days and is a good time to “balance masculine and feminine energies”.

“This is the ideal time to consider ways we can balance the masculine and feminine forces in our lives.

“Where could you use a little more gentle, receptive yin? Where could you yang it up and put in more action-oriented, decisive energy?

“We all contain both energies within us, and in an age where gender is becoming more fluid and redefined than ever, the solstice is an awesome moment to widen our notions of what that means for us.”

How To Harness The Magic Of This Years Summer Solstice

There are so many ways that you can integrate the powerful energy from the solstice into your life. Most importantly, take some time for you and reflect. This could mean setting aside one hour and journaling about some of the various topics seen above in this article.

If you have some crystals, this can be a great time to put them out in the sun to charge and energize them.

Have a solstice party, in whatever capacity this looks like for you. If you aren’t very into the “spiritual” or “fluffy” stuff, simply having a gathering with friends is a great way to welcome this transition. If you are more inclined to the ritualistic types of activities, you can gather with your friends have a fire maybe, go to the beach, share your intentions for the year.

Even if your day is busy, don’t forget, this is the longest day of the year, take some time for some quiet reflection and some time in the sun. Reflect on the past season, let go of what is no longer serving you from the spring and call in whatever you’d like to manifest for the upcoming season. The sun provides powerful energy for all inhabitants of the earth and our entire solar system, might as well utilize it during its peak day.

Manifest that summer love, enjoy community, and welcome all of the new growth, evolution, and change.

Oh, happy day.

Much Love

Get Your FREE In Depth Numerology Reading

Your life path number can tell you A LOT about you.

With the ancient science of Numerology you can find out accurate and revealing information just from your name and birth date.

Get your free numerology reading and learn more about how you can use numerology in your life to find out more about your path and journey. Get Your free reading.

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