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What Is True Love & How To Let It Happen To You

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Do you know you are equipped with a sense which helps you to create more harmony, peace, and love in your life? A sense which underlies all other senses and gives you the ability to choose happiness? You rely on this sense every day without ever realising its full potential.

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I call it sense of synchrony. I hope you will soon realise that you can easily understand what synchrony means and, more importantly, you can recognise when synchrony happens. Then you will be only one step away from learning how to allow more synchrony into your life.

What Is Synchrony?

According to The Oxford Dictionary – synchrony is simultaneous action, development, or occurrence; it is a state of operating or developing according to the same time scale as something else. I would suggest to simplify it a bit and say that synchrony is when two (or more) behave as one.

The best example to explain it is rowing. If you picture a team of rowers rhythmically moving their oars you will quickly understand what ‘behaving as one’ means. Think about people dancing together to the same rhythm, chanting or doing the ‘mexican wave’ on a fooball stadium, singing in a choir, marching in a column, or clapping after a concert. Now, watch the video below.

The same can happen in a less mechanistic and more emotional dimension.(1) Think about the mother feeling for her baby and living through her baby’s ups and downs (sometimes for far too long). There are whole nations going through the same emotional events together. For example, we feel a shared euphoria when a national team is winning or a shared sadness when someone important dies. We say we gel with someone, we are on the same wave, or we are tuned to each other. Falling in love or being in love is another example and this includes sex (which is best when partners finish together). When we are in true love we are ready to commit ourselves completely. It is because we feel like one organism and whatever happens to our partner happens to us. By improving his/her life we improve our own. The same applies to a group of real friends who are happy only when everyone in the group is happy. They are naturally kind and helpful to each other. Many team players report that when they are well teamed (I would say, synchronised) with the rest of the team some kind of magic happens. They start feeling connected and energised, being able to perform a lot better. It easy to notice an emotional component of ‘haka.’

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The same may happen to colleagues at work. You may remember a scene from the film The Wolf Of Wall Street when they were banging their fists against their chests and feeling almost ecstatic. You can watch the video below to see it again.

The same may happen when you watch a film or read a book. You emotionally connect with the main character and while you are watching or reading, you live his/her life. In other words, you lose yourself and you immerse in the book or film. I am sure many of you enjoyed Harry Potter’s life, watching it through his eyes.

People can also synchronise having the same thoughts or ideas. I can only mention that Google indexes 620 million groups on Facebook, each one gathering people linked together and exchanging thoughts about the same issue/topic/idea. As far as I am concerned, recent social media success is driven by people following their sense of synchrony.

Another interesting fact is that most people are able to recognize synchrony when observing others. You probably would notice when the music is out of tune or singers in the choir are not well synchronised with each other. You could say when two people are good friends by observing them for only a moment, or that a couple is in love. It is easy for most of us to say if a book or film is good and worth recommending because we can easily immerse in it.

You may have already realised that synchrony is a synonym of harmony, unity, empathy, love, and compassion. We feel connected through synchronising our activity and it positively influences our relationships (it applies also to small children in a simple activity like drumming or bouncing [2, 3]). Synchrony happens when we cooperate, connect, accept, live in peace, and trust each other. In all these situations we feel that something good is happening to us and to the World around us. We feel content and happy, we feel pleasure and joy.

I have shown you many manifestations of synchrony and I hope you agree now that you can easily sense when synchrony happens.

How Synchrony Happens

The first person who observed and described synchrony (synchronisation) was Christian Huygens, Dutch mathematician, astronomer, and physicist. To his surprise, he detected an “odd kind of sympathy” between two pendulum clocks hanging from the same wooden beam. This is his first drawing presenting synchrony.

2clocks

He wrote that the clocks were “so much in agreement that they never receded the least bit from each other and that the sound of each of them was always heard simultaneously.” He was baffled by this at first but he eventually realised that the synchronisation of the two clocks’ rhythm had been caused by the almost unnoticeable motion of the wooden beam. His experiment has been repeated many times since. See video below.

In the video above, metronomes are placed on a board, initially completely desynchronised. The board sits on two rollers which allow it to move.  Gentle movements of the board allow the metronomes to synchronise. After a short time they click together in a very regular rhythm.

If we watch this experiment carefully we can say a lot about how synchrony happens.

Firstly, it happens between independent oscillators – metronomes. The word independent means that each oscillator has its own source of energy and can move without help or influence of others.
Secondly, it requires a medium — something which connects metronomes and allows them to communicate.
Thirdly, it happens on its own. Metronomes do not do synchronisation. It happens to them.
Fourthly, it needs time.
Finally, when one of the metronomes loses synchrony and become ‘alienated’ it has a chance to re-synchronise as long as it is connected with the rest.

I guess you would agree that it is easy to ‘translate’ mechanical movements of metronomes to a team of rowers. Yet, to my surprise, I found it is also very transferable to people’s psychology. The ‘mechanism’ of two people becoming the best of friends or true lovers is similar to the mechanism of synchrony emerging between oscillators.

Let’s go through it together.

Firstly, they should stay independent, respect each other, and give themselves freedom to leave.

Secondly, they would have to be connected by a common medium. It could be a passion, regular activity, same interest, same ideas, same type of music, etc. It can be many of those mediums and they may change with time.

Thirdly, they cannot make true friendship or love. They can only let it happen to them. If one of them tries to force it (usually having their own egoistic agenda), friendship or love will never be true and unconditional.

Fourthly, they have to stay connected for some time (usually going through many ups and downs) before they feel they are best friends or true lovers.

Finally, when one of them goes away, they still have a chance to re-establish friendship as long as they stay connected.

Can you see it now? It is the same process happening in mechanistic and emotional dimension. But how is this possible? Where is the link ?

Synchrony In The Brain

You might be aware that all stimuli like sounds, light, touch, and smell, once registered by receptors, (inside your ears, eyes, skin and nose), become small electric currents travelling along nerves towards our brain. In the brain these currents oscillate along brain cells and our reality is shaped. These currents can be recorded on the graph as traces of zig zags which are called brain waves. Researchers have found that those brain waves can synchronise in certain circumstances.

For example, the report of studies on Loving-kindness Meditation (which is one of the most ancient forms of Buddhist practice) showed that long-term meditators can self-induce synchrony of high-amplitude gamma brain waves.(4) It means that purposely triggering feelings of love towards self and other people can generate synchrony between different parts of the brain. It is almost like one part of the brain could represent self and another part represent another person (similar to the two connected metronomes). When these two parts are in synchrony you feel for him/her, being emotionally connected.

Another scientist who looked at synchrony in the brain is Dr. Lester Fehmi from Princeton. He has been researching a specific brain wave pattern called “the whole brain synchrony in alpha frequency.”(5) Dr. Fehmi found that electric signals in the brain can become synchronous when someone becomes aware of space between and inside physical objects. According to Dr. Fehmi, when it happens it changes the insight about reality, triggering feeling of oneness, wholeness, and unity with everything. Dr. Fehmi designed a series of mind exercises which help to practice it. I personally found them shockingly effective in making my mind completely relaxed and putting me into the ‘zone.’ They are also very useful in controlling physical pain and stopping ‘mental chatter’ and unwanted feelings like anxiety or frustration. I promote Dr. Fehmi’s work on my website and I design mind exercises based on his findings. The last series of them I produce with my friends Jan Owen and Peter Parker.  You can find it here.

You see now that there is a direct link between the way we feel and the brain activity (because small electrical charges in the brain behave like independent metronomes). I believe this is the reason why the rules about generating synchrony in a mechanistic and emotional dimension are so similar.  The difference between Loving-kindness Meditation and Dr. Fehmi’s approach is in the frequency of the brain waves. When it is fast (gamma brain waves) you feel synchronised with one person or a group of friends. When it is slower (alpha brain waves) you feel oneness with the whole universe.

What Can You Do Differently Now?

Imagine you notice a redheaded girl/boy dressed in black in a library searching for a book with vegetarian recipes. You would like to make friends with him/her. Can you say what you would have to do to make a good environment for a true friendship or maybe even for love to flourish between you and her/him?

Let’s try it together.

Firstly, let her/him be independent. Stay respectful and let her/him decide whether to accept your offer to connect or not, and to leave when she/he wants.
Secondly, find  a medium which will help you to connect. It could be anything which she/he and you might be into (books, vegetarianism, type of music, attitude towards life, passion, etc.).
Thirdly, let it happen to you. Let go your agenda (whatever it might be) and do not force friendship to happen.
Fourthly, stay connected and give it time. Be patient and trust it is going to happen.
Finally, when she/he goes away, remember it may happen again if only you stay connected (but remember the first and the third condition).

Can you see how easy is for you to understand it now?

You can think about your relationships with other people, with your family and friends. Feel how much synchrony is there. Think what you could change to allow even more synchrony to happen.

We all feel synchrony is important and we welcome more synchrony into our lives. We dream about true love and a real friend, we dance together to the rhythm for hours, we chant in a stadium, we surf on the same wave of life, and we play team sports. All this give us pleasure and joy. I hope you understand that we all are able to sense when synchrony happens around us, but more importantly, you know how to allow more synchrony to happen to you. Enjoy 🙂

SOURCES

1. Synchronised brains: Feeling strong emotions makes people’s brains ‘tick together’
. Lauri Nummenmaa,  Enrico Glerean, Mikko Viinikainen, Iiro P. Jääskeläinen, Riitta Hari, Mikko Sams. PANS June 12, 2012 vol. 109 no. 24. [PNAS]

2. Drumming in groups facilitates social synchronization in preschool children. Kirschner S, Tomasello M. J Exp Child Psychol. 2009 Mar;102(3):299-314. [PubMed]

3. Interpersonal Synchrony Increases Prosocial Behaviour in Infants video abstract

4. Long-term meditators self-induce high-amplitude gamma synchrony during mental practice
. Antoine Lutz, Lawrence L. Greischar, Nancy B. Rawlings, Matthieu Ricard,  Richard J. Davidson
. PNAS November 16, 2004 vol. 101 no. 46 [PNAS]

5. Attention and Neurofeedback Synchrony Training: Clinical Results and Their Significance
. J. T. McKnight, PhD L. G. Fehmi, PhD. Journal of Neurotherapy, Vol. 5(1/2) 2001 [JoN]

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Consciousness

6 Of The Most Asked Questions On Google & What They Say About Us

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Google is an incredible resource that helps us get the answers to many of life's questions at incredible speeds. But as our search habits suggest, we seem to be turning to it a bit too much for a number of unhealthy reasons.

  • Reflect On:

    What are you regularly turning to Google for? Are the answers you're getting actually of value, or are they instead rooted in a deeper issue?

The world is filled with a seemingly endless number of resources for us to tap into or seek out the council of. Yet, when it comes to finding the answers to some of our most important questions we all seem to go to one place: Google.

And while Google may be incredibly effective at providing us access to the answers of many of our questions at what seems like light-speed, it can also be quite damaging.

To illustrate this I’d like to present to you six of the most commonly asked questions that we as a collective tend to turn to Google for, what I believe they say about humanity, and why we need to stop turning to Google for the answers to them.

Please note that these are just six OF the most asked questions, and not the six most. These six are particular ones that stood out to me as troubling and worth commenting on. So here they are in ascending order based on how frequently they are searched per month globally. (All stats found on Mondovo

A written version of the video is available below as well.

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6. Which celebrity do I look like?

Search frequency: 14,800 times per month

While on the surface this search seems purely fun, what concerns me about it being searched with such frequency is that it really showcases how much our thoughts are rooted in comparison.

We all know that social media as a whole is a cesspool of comparison, where the vast majority of us post nothing but the highlight reel captures of our life rather than true snippets of our reality. The last thing we need is to even further compare ourselves to those we aren’t connected to on social media -especially those who for the most part work in an industry obsessed with physical appearances.

We need to keep in mind that the way Katy Perry looks on the red carpet is different from the way she looks upon waking up on a Friday morning. Let’s choose to embrace our uniqueness and spend our spare time being ourselves rather than comparing that person to who we think we need to be.

5. Why did I get married?

Search frequency: 49,500 times per month

With divorce rates being where they are, we all know that the institution of marriage is rapidly crumbling before our feet. And while whether that is a good or bad thing is a matter of opinion, I still don’t think we should be turning to Google for reminders on why we opted to participate in it.

Rather than reading someone’s blog on why you should appreciate your partner, or another person’s rant on why we should all run from marriage like the plague, choose to spend that time instead of having an open conversation with your spouse.

Be honest about where you stand with things and come to a collective conclusion as to what you can and cannot do as the next steps.

4. Who unfollowed me on Instagram?

Search frequency: 74,000 times per month

This is my personal favourite on the list because there are few things that amuse me more than seeing the importance that so many of us put on our “Instagram ratio”.

Long gone are the days where we happily followed and liked everyone and everything, and here to stay are the days where we handpick who we follow to give off a “celebrity status” based on the seemingly much higher amount of people who have chosen to follow us.

If you care so much about your following count dropping from 714 to 713 that you need to look into who it was that you lost overnight (or even if you realize that the drop happened at all) you’ve got some serious self-worth issues that you need to address and work beyond.

3. How to make money online?

Search frequency: 135,000 times per month

As someone who has not only worked for various companies who have made substantial amounts of money online, and who has several initiatives to do so myself, I can tell you one thing: it doesn’t come easy!

It not only takes persistent and high-quality effort to build a YouTube subscriber base or to create a website that generates regular traffic, it also takes money to make money.

We need to debunk the belief that the internet is a great way to get rich quick. Realize that everyone who is advertising their online course, seminar, or book designed to help you do this, is doing that as their primary tactic to attain wealth -and they’re paying a hell of a lot of money to get their ad in your face. Those who have attained it have much bigger and better things to do.

2. How to lose weight fast?

Search frequency: 301,000 times per month

On the surface, this too seems well-intentioned since it’s great to see that a large portion of us are regularly searching for ways to improve our health. But what concerns me about this is largely the last word: fast.

We live in a world where we need instantaneous results (hence why we’re turning to Google in the first place) or we don’t bother. Long-term solutions exist but we have virtually no confidence in our ability to commit to anything, so we instead opt for ways to cheat the system.

If losing weight or gaining muscle is truly important to you, than focus on what you’ll need to do to keep yourself motivated to put the work in to get there rather than what can zap it away.

1. Any and all health advice

Search frequency: Unknown but seemingly infinite

We’ve all done it. We go to Google for advice on a persistent pimple and three minutes later we’re convinced that we are mere weeks away from being on our deathbed.

While there are plenty of great articles and medical journals scattered throughout the net, there is also a lot of “click-baity” crap with nothing to support much of what it suggests.

Please understand that this is NOT an attack against alternative media outlets, I firmly believe that even the most widely-accepted forms of media are ladened in questionable sourcing and ruled by greed. So rather than taking your chances, why not instead turn a trusted healthcare professional who can diagnose your unique circumstance?


For more brutally honest personal development content designed for those who actually want to change, be sure to subscribe to my YouTube Channel and to follow me on Facebook.

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Consciousness

When You’re Feeling Like Crap, Don’t Personalize It!

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Sometimes when we are feeling like crap, we make the stories we tell ourselves very personal and thus make it part of who we are. We have the ability to see past this and instead see the reason why we are feeling this way.

  • Reflect On:

    Why do we give so much power to the stories we tell ourselves? Why do we get so stuck in victim states all the time? Keep on practising, stay patient and know that there is information in our feelings about what we need to reflect on.

We all go through moments of feeling down, when you’re in it, try not to personalize it.

When you personalize you grab onto the pain and linger on it; you keep mulling the thought over and over in your head.

When you’re going through hell, keep going.

You can’t make the distance shorter but you can move through it faster. So push to get to the worst feeling as quick as possible – the relief lies beyond that.

The down periods will never go away; you need to let go of that idea. You just get better at managing it all.

You have to get better at managing it: you get a bigger empath load as you progress to a higher vibration.

This is why the lows are still so low even though you’ve shifted so much and grown so much; you’re pulling bigger volumes of energy to shift from the morphic field.

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The reason it feels like you’re rehashing the same stuff? They send you loads of whatever energies you’re already good at shifting… so the stuff you’ve already previously let go of and shifted.

That’s the stuff that should be easy for you to shift because you’ve faced the personalized layer where the examples cause you pain.

What do I mean?

If you hear about someone cheating, you listen with interest maybe. But if you think of yourself in their shoes (personalize), or draw on your own past painful example, then you immediately feel the fear and pain.

Try it… let’s say someone was cold last night, maybe they froze to death. You feel some empathy sure.

But if I say it’s YOUR child that froze to death…? Even the words shocked you.

You may give a passing thought to the cold homeless people, but if your child was lost outside on a freezing night, you’d get no sleep. You wouldn’t be able to think about anything else in fact.

It’s only EMOTIONALLY relevant to you when you attach a personal example or story and attach it to the people in your life.

If you want to break this cycle permanently, you need to train yourself to find higher level lessons in your shifts – when you find the higher lesson, the need for the lower lessons fall away.

So an example is realising you’re not accepted by people unless you behave the way they want you to and give them what they want.

On a personal level, this hurts, because it’s a reminder of your loneliness, isolation, lack of worth etc. It’s a reminder that people don’t want what you have to offer as you; they really only use you for what they can get. Stings hey?

However cycle that up to a god level lesson (how God views man), and it becomes the pattern of how people treat gods. They only turn to the gods when they need something or want something, using God like a servant, to fetch and carry.

Basically, this is the way everyone treats divine beings by default – and this behavior is just a standard human behavior.

If it’s just normal behavior, then it’s not being done to you, it’s just happening around you.

You have a choice about how you look at any lesson, and where you choose to focus.

So for today try to cycle your lessons up… see if you can spot how man treats god through the view of ego, or how god views man without any ego or attachment to physical life.

In the mirrors tools, mirrors 6, 7, 8 & 9 deal with soul, balance, dark and cosmos. Those are all higher vibration lessons. Free mirrors tools at: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/newmirrors/

Look for recursions from the creation story ( http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/the-creation-unification-story-for-lightworkers ) or play the game of trying to guess who else around you has similar – or worse – challenges to face.

Remind yourself of what you have, right now. Are your needs taken care of right now? Do you have a roof over your head? Food? Clothes? Yes? Then all is good.

And even if the answer is no, find something to be grateful for and hold onto that.

No shift ever lasts forever…

No matter how crap you’ve felt in the past, it’s always turned.

In fact, that’s exactly why you’re looking for a way out… you know it’s possible to feel different.

This will pass – all you have to do is survive a few days of feeling crappy, and remember not to turn into a serial killer. This is why it’s us… they can send us this level of pain and we stay good people. We don’t become serial killers or perpetuate pain.

So just ask for help to accept what you’re shifting and surrender to the process. Call on your guides and angels for help.

Here are a few different options for surrender processes: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/surrender-acceptance-letting-go

What it looks like in practice

Even at my level, these periods still hit me. The difference now is how I handle them.

I stay patient and accept it will pass.

I look for global energies and patterns in those around me.

I don’t personalize or linger and if anything is stuck in my inner voice I mirror it out straight away.

I ask for help all the time.

I don’t rush in and start anything – I force myself to plan first so that I’m sure of the idea and I don’t waste time creating something half-baked or that I won’t use, or that I feel guilty about.

The only thing that’s changed is how I behave inside a shift.

Yes shifting shifts the energies, but you have to learn tools and change your habits and behaviors as well.

At the end you’re going to realise that the key is the moment you took control… you may as well take control now and prevent yourself all this unnecessary pain and suffering.

Sometimes circumstances suck… but that doesn’t mean you have to suffer.

You always have a choice about that.

Hang in there. This period has to be over soon…. they’re never longer than two or three weeks.

If you’re already stuck on something, the fastest way out is to push through and find your way to the bottom of the ego death – http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/how-to-do-shadow-work-how-to-face-your-dark-shadow-or-ego

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Your life path number can tell you A LOT about you.

With the ancient science of Numerology you can find out accurate and revealing information just from your name and birth date.

Get your free numerology reading and learn more about how you can use numerology in your life to find out more about your path and journey. Get Your free reading.

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Consciousness

Summer Solstice 2018: The Spiritual Significance & How You Can Reflect In Your Life

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Today, June 21st 2018 is the summer solstice. It is a time where we welcome the season of Summer and can begin reflecting on various things.

  • Reflect On:

    This is the ideal time to consider ways we can balance the masculine and feminine forces in our lives. Where could you use a little more gentle, receptive yin? Where could you yang it up and put in more action-oriented, decisive energy?

The summer solstice is here! This is certainly a day worth celebrating and not just because it represents the longest day of the year for everyone living North of the equator, hello sun — but also because of the symbolic meaning behind it. The summer solstice has been an important day throughout history and for good reason.

The summer solstice marks a time for the celebration of Mother Nature, fun and of course the sun. The sun brings us warmth and light and I’m sure that is something that we can all appreciate.

Solstice At Stonehenge

Stonehenge has been a popular spot throughout recorded time to celebrate this day because it was built to directly align with the solstices, but only during the summer solstice specifically does the rising sun reach the middle of the stones and shine on the central altar. Clearly, whoever or whatever built Stonehenge had this in mind, and it must have been of great significance in order to take on the process of constructing one of the 7 wonders of the ancient world.

According to BBC’s coverage of a solstice event several years ago, the event included an interview with those who appreciate solstice the most,

“We believe it is very important for people to move with the cycles of nature, and actually feel them. If you get up early in the morning and you watch that special sunrise, you’ve been a part of it. The rest of the year is shaped by that. And we think it’s a really healthy thing to do and a very spiritual thing to do.”

 

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What Is So Significant Of The Summer Solstice?

Melanie Beckler, the author of Angel Messages, said the Summer Solstice is a time of “energetic opening” and “celestial potential” pouring out from the sun.

She explained: “Symbolically the Summer Solstice represented enlightenment, awakening and the triumph of lightness over darkness.

Aside from the celebration of the sun, it marks the first day of summer, and really, who doesn’t love summer? Many believe that the summer solstice is all about taking a chance to express gratitude for the gifts of harvest, bounty, and abundance.

Pagans hold a religious ritual on the solstice to honor and acknowledge the turning of the wheel of the year and the new season that is upon us.

While to some it may feel fairly insignificant, we are inhabitants on this earth and just as the earth does, we also go through changes. We are in tune, whether aware or not of what happens on the planet and it affects us, too.

According to the astrotwins, The season of Cancer will last 30 days and is a good time to “balance masculine and feminine energies”.

“This is the ideal time to consider ways we can balance the masculine and feminine forces in our lives.

“Where could you use a little more gentle, receptive yin? Where could you yang it up and put in more action-oriented, decisive energy?

“We all contain both energies within us, and in an age where gender is becoming more fluid and redefined than ever, the solstice is an awesome moment to widen our notions of what that means for us.”

How To Harness The Magic Of This Years Summer Solstice

There are so many ways that you can integrate the powerful energy from the solstice into your life. Most importantly, take some time for you and reflect. This could mean setting aside one hour and journaling about some of the various topics seen above in this article.

If you have some crystals, this can be a great time to put them out in the sun to charge and energize them.

Have a solstice party, in whatever capacity this looks like for you. If you aren’t very into the “spiritual” or “fluffy” stuff, simply having a gathering with friends is a great way to welcome this transition. If you are more inclined to the ritualistic types of activities, you can gather with your friends have a fire maybe, go to the beach, share your intentions for the year.

Even if your day is busy, don’t forget, this is the longest day of the year, take some time for some quiet reflection and some time in the sun. Reflect on the past season, let go of what is no longer serving you from the spring and call in whatever you’d like to manifest for the upcoming season. The sun provides powerful energy for all inhabitants of the earth and our entire solar system, might as well utilize it during its peak day.

Manifest that summer love, enjoy community, and welcome all of the new growth, evolution, and change.

Oh, happy day.

Much Love

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Your life path number can tell you A LOT about you.

With the ancient science of Numerology you can find out accurate and revealing information just from your name and birth date.

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