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Psilocybin: A Spiritual Experience That Has The Potential To Unearth Your True Self

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Since 2010 I have been exploring what it means to cultivate a spiritual practice with psilocybin, otherwise known as “magic mushrooms.” I have since written two full-length books—Decomposing The Shadow (2013) and The True Light Of Darkness (2015)—and given several public presentations on the subject.

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The primary lesson I have gained through my work with Psilocybin is that integration of the dark, unaddressed, or shadow aspects of one’s self are essential for psychospiritual development and general health. Without the direct experience of Shadow emotions from a place of surrender and acknowledgement, those aspects of us are likely to be inappropriately stored, repressed, in the deep psyche. This creates blockages for the flow of life within us and new, detrimental behavioral pathways are created to maintain these blockages, to maintain the repression or evasion of undesired emotional content.

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These new pathways are resilient and difficult to undo, but they are not energy efficient, nor are they advantageous to the long-term health of the entire organism (personal or collective). Imagine what happens to a dynamic forest system when a water dam is erected. The natural tributaries, and the dynamic ecosystem they support, are flooded.

Now imagine this dam is poorly built and is constantly cracking under the pressure, causing more damage that only ends up requiring further maintenance of that dam as well as new dams installed to keep the flooded areas maintained. The erection of this first dam creates a chain of events that lead to causing further harm to the integrity of the whole ecosystem.

In similar fashion, the repression of dark emotions—sadness loneliness, inadequacy, hopelessness, etc.—can flood and wreak havoc to one’s inner-landscape. Yet the uncomfortable emotions we are trying to keep at bay can never be truly contained. They will eventually escape and lash out, causing harm to one’s self and their larger social ecosystem as soon as an opportunity arises.

Some of us have fewer backlogs to sort through, though we all have uncomfortable emotional content contextual to our personal and cultural experiences in life that remains unaddressed in some way. It has been there, repressed, since childhood, since we were told, directly or indirectly, to “quiet down and don’t interrupt,” or “big kids don’t cry,” “you’re fat/stupid/not good enough,” or “you must conform to specific ideals to be valuable,” etc.

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We have repressed, unaddressed emotional content since so far back in ourselves that we don’t even have explicit memories attached to it. So far back that it exists beyond the thinking mind’s capacity to reach, such as the potentially devastating moment for an infant when its mother turns her head away slightly while its smiling. Or for a toddler at an age when most parents are ignorant in their belief that “the child doesn’t understand,” and they fight aggressively with each other, meanwhile all the emotions associated to that conflict are being internalized by the child as their fault that mommy and daddy are angry so [insert deleterious self-deprecating identity structures here]. Emotions from this time in our lives are still with us, unaddressed because they were dealt with according to the strategies of a child.

Many of the emotions left echoing from our past can be seen through a rational point of view as having been inappropriately embodied. From the adult mind looking back, we can see the larger picture and understand that it wasn’t our fault or that perhaps whatever actions caused us pain were from a place of love, or a place of another’s trauma or sickness. This gives us the capacity to forgive and understand conceptually, but the gravity of the emotional effect those experiences have on the pre-rational part of us that they initially affected is beyond what the rational mind can explain away (regardless of how much intellectualism we throw at it).

These deeply seated emotions contain a potential for great empowerment, yet when unaddressed and locked-away, they disempower by controlling our subconscious behavior. Thinking about historical feelings will not necessarily release their control over you. The only way to truly move through and beyond these emotions, to integrate them, is to FEEL them in their fullest honesty and learn from those feelings (as best you can).

This is not an easy, nor comfortable process. The Ego, the operational sense of “I” that maintains survival of the individual self, is deeply committed to keeping you safe from the pain and discomfort of facing that which has hurt you. It will not allow you to open access to these emotions, ‘for your own good.’

But if we are able to create a container in which to feel these emotions and integrate them into our sense of self, we can recalibrate how they affect us. We can learn to be empowered by our presence to the pain we have faced in life and even to the essential suffrage that it is to be human—allowing us in turn to be more capable of compassion for ourselves and for others.

As we grow and mature into our eldership over the years, if given proper opportunity, we should be able to learn emotional intelligence and discover an openness to ourselves and to the world, which may eventually free us from our old defenses. However, for many of us, the detrimental patterns of repression that manifest from the behavioral conditioning of an emotionally adolescent society passed down through generations of trauma create more dysfunction on a regular basis than we are able to sort through. Two steps forward, three steps back, and we end up falling into vortices of self-detrimental behavior.

There are many different spiritual and psychotherapeutic methods to help curb this vortexing. Some more effective than others and all of which are leveraged by a meditative practice, a supportive community, and a healthy diet and movement practice.

As mentioned in the first paragraph, my work with psilocybin mushrooms has been the primary spiritual therapeutic practice I have held to create a container to release, acknowledge, and integrate repressed emotional content and clear the backlog of personal trauma I, as an adult, all of a sudden woke up to find having proliferated my life. Psilocybin has helped me greatly in this journey.

Unfortunately, information on building a mature spiritual practice with psilocybin is rare to find in the modern Western world, as much of its cultural usage exists within a more adolescent mentality: play, fun, recreation, tripping out. I have no problem with this mentality, as there is no set prescription as to how one chooses their personal relationship to visionary plants and fungi. But there are risks involved with unconscious or uninformed use. Also, the tendency towards positive, lifelong transformation and healing is less and less likely as the mentality of recreation or superficially is more dominant. This essay is part of a journey I have been on to share and co-create an accessible model for working with psilocybin for personal growth, presented in my two books and various lectures.

Play, laugher, and fun are a part of a psilocybin experience, though I believe the true expansiveness of transcendence in ecstasy is mediated by the depths of uncomfortable emotional honesty to which one has chosen to release themselves. When we uncover our darkness in those depths and we surrender to its fullness and presence in the body, those aspects of ourselves—that may have been secretly hurting since before we were even able to form explicit memory—are given a space to be seen, felt, loved, and integrated. We offer ourselves the opportunity to be empowered through the metabolizing of unprocessed emotional energy into self-awareness, maturity, and wholeness. We can reveal the true light of wisdom that our honest darkness reveals when we decompose the Shadow aspects of the self and allow its catabolites to nourish the soil of our spiritual maturation.

As mentioned earlier, psilocybin in spiritual practice has proven to offer great benefit to my life, but has often done so in exchange for great risk to my sense of psychological security. I emphasize this point because it is a common theme in the progressing psychedelic/entheogenic culture to speak evangelically about the healing potential of psilocybin and psychedelics in general, which I believe places people at risk of only further exacerbating their issues. Psilocybin has great potential, but is not a magic bullet.

The type of psilocybin practice I am speaking of is not easy nor inherently safe and should not be invested in on frivolous impulse. If you are currently facing depression, anxiety issues, or other serious emotional illness, please see a professional before you try taking psilocybin. Whether or not this is safe for you must be deeply considered before going this route. Be mindful of your choices.

What I invite you to take away from this article today is not so much what the psilocybin mushroom can offer when recreation and superficiality is transcended, but what the psilocybin experience shows us about who we are. It shows us that there is no reason to fear, repress, or evade the inevitable, daily, uncomfortable emotions we are faced with; and that the more we feel what is really happening inside us, the fuller expressions of our authentic selves we become.

The courage to feel sadness or loneliness or inadequacy with surrender and self-compassion, to know them like an extension of our healthy selves and in doing so allow them to change and inspire us into something grander, is an expression of empowerment that we are all endowed with. We just need to decide whether we are ready to walk this lifelong path. But it won’t be easy.

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Consciousness

6 Conclusions Drawn From Thousands of Published Psychic Experiments

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Dean Radin PhD, is Chief Scientist at the Institute of Noetic Sciences and Professor at the California Institute of Integral Studies has laid out six conclusions we can draw from all of the published research in parapsychology.

  • Reflect On:

    How much have yet to discover about ourselves and who we truly are? Are we still in the infancy of discovering our true capabilities as beings? Why are they so hidden?

Psychic research, also known as parapsychology or “PSI” deals with phenomena such as remote viewing, telepathy, clairvoyance, distant healing, and much more.

Over the years, despite the fact that many of these techniques were being studied, taught, and used heavily for intelligence gathering purposes with great success, such phenomenon has been ridiculed and brushed off as not real. But why?

The answer is simple, despite how valid, how repeatable, or how much evidence is presented or published, if something threatens the accepted framework of reality, or is controversial due to its paradigm shifting implications, the mind simply has a hard time accepting it. In many cases, the scientific study of such phenomena has resulted in a large case of cognitive dissonance among some of the academic community, although this is changing, and has been changing year after year simply due to the fact that strong and statistically significant results are being observed, there is still much work to be done.

“There seems to be a deep concern that the whole field will be tarnished by studying a phenomenon that is tainted by its association with superstition, spiritualism and magic. Protecting against this possibility sometimes seems more important than encouraging scientific exploration or protecting academic freedom. But this may be changing.”  Cassandra Vieten, PhD and President/CEO at the Institute of Noetic Sciences (source)

Dr. Carl Jung once stated, “I shall not commit the fashionable stupidity of regarding everything I cannot explain as a fraud.” This is something we should all hold in our minds as we examine this or other claims that are not part of our current perception.

How strong is the evidence? Dr. Jessica Utts, the Chair of the Department of Statistics at the University of California, Irvine and a professor there since 2008 explains,

What convinced me was just the evidence, the accumulating evidence as I worked in this field and I got to see more and more of the evidence. I visited the laboratories, even beyond where I was working to see what they were doing and I could see that they had really tight controls…and so I got convinced by the good science that I saw being done. And in fact I will say as a statistician I’ve consulted in a lot of different areas of science: the methodology and the controls on these experiments are tighter than any other area of science where I’ve worked. (source)

Here’s another great point she made:

“For many years I have worked with researchers doing very careful work [in parapsychology], including a year that I spent full-time working on a classified project for the United States government, to see if we could use these abilities for intelligence gathering during the Cold War… At the end of that project I wrote a report for Congress, stating what I still think is true. The data in support of precognition and possibly other related phenomena are quite strong statistically, and would be widely accepted if it pertained to something more mundane. Yet, most scientists reject the possible reality of these abilities without ever looking at data! And on the other extreme, there are true believers who base their beliefs solely on anecdotes and personal experience. I have asked debunkers if there is any amount of data that would convince them, and they generally have responded by saying, “probably not.” I ask them what original research they have read, and they mostly admit that they haven’t read any. Now there is a definition of pseudo-science-basing conclusions on belief rather than data!” – Utts, Chair of the Statistics Department, UC Irvine (From Dean Radin’s Book,  “Real Magic“)

The Six Conclusions

Dean Radin PhD, is Chief Scientist at the Institute of Noetic Sciences and Distinguished Professor at the California Institute of Integral Studies. He’s published a number of books, one of them titled “Real Magic” (endorsed by multiple Nobel Laureates).  In it, he writes:

Based on thousands of PSI experiments published over the last century by researchers around the world, many properties of psychic phenomena have been discovered. In order of scientific confidence, meaning the degree to which the evidence has been successfully  and independently repeated six conclusions may be drawn:

1. We have the capacity to gain information unbound by the everyday limitations of space or time, and without the use of the ordinary senses. In the vernacular, psi is a genuine “sixth sense.” Based on the available scientific evidence, this is a virtual certainty.

2. Psi capacities are widely distributed among the general population. Extreme levels of psi talent are rare, but laboratory tests indicate that most people have some discernible ability, whether they’re aware of it or not.

3. These effects arise from the unconscious. Psi abilities can be observed during conscious awareness, but more reliable effects can be detected below the level of awareness via physiological measurements and other techniques used to study “implicit” and unconscious responses.

4. Psi effects are stronger during non-ordinary states of consciousness, such as during meditation, while dreaming, or while under the influence of psychedelic compounds.

5. We have the capacity to mentally influence the physical world, probably not through the application of the four known physical forces, but perhaps through as yet unidentified principles that either affect the probabilities of events or ‘warp” the fabric of space-time.

6. We can gain information from sources purported to be non-physical entities.

A Real World Example

One example comes from people with special abilities reported on in a declassified US Air Force report on teleportation, which was made available through the Federation of American Scientists.

The document touches upon China’s psychic children, mentioning, in this case, the ones that were able to teleport full objects from one location to another without touching them.

Another one, titled “Research into Paranormal Ability To Break Through Spatial Barriers”  touches upon the same thing, and also provides multiple examples of children and people being video tapped and documented, under double blind conditions, being able to do the same thing. This particular document, which was declassified through a Freedom of Information Act request (FOIA), outlines specific people with very special abilities and how they’ve been studied by thousands of scientists and governments around the world for a very long time.

There are many examples, these are a select few.

The Takeaway

How much do we really know about the nature of reality? If one thing is constant about what we know, it’s that what we know always seems to change, and when it comes to for that change, it usually takes a lot of time. Right now we are experiencing a scientific revolution where non-material science seems to be emerging as the next great leap, away and beyond our mechanical view of the universe. We are starting to realize just how diverse and non physical human consciousness is.

One day, we will acknowledge and really realize just how big of an impact our thoughts, feelings, emotions, and other factors of consciousness have on shaping our physical material world. We are much more than we’ve been made to believe, and reality is much more mysterious and exciting than we’ve been taught.

Watch a recent interview we did with a scientist deeply into non material science here.

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Due to the pressure of mass censorship, we now have our own censorship-free, and ad-free on demand streaming network!

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Consciousness

I Had A Stroke When I Was 30 Years Old & It Changed My Life

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Apparently surviving a stroke that took half my eyesight and almost killed me would turn out to be one of the greatest blessings of my life. Before I get into how all that transpired, I need to give a little background on how it got to that point.

Growing up, my parents took the same approach to life that most people growing up in the United States could relate to. Their plan for my three younger siblings and me was simple: Go to school and get good grades so you can go to a good college. Then get a good job and make a lot of money so you can have nice things and then you’ll be happy. This was the mantra that I, like many other kids in the U.S., grew up with; the American Dream. I followed the guidelines and my years of hard work finally paid off when I landed a job working for a Fortune 500 company in Rockefeller Center, Manhattan.

Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be a professional businessman. I wanted to wear nice suits, work in an office with breathtaking views of the Manhattan skyline, dine in fancy restaurants, and date women outside of my Long Island gene pool. Each of these I had achieved more and more year after year as I slowly clawed my way up the corporate ladder. One job change, a couple moves from Long Island to Queens then the Upper West side of Manhattan, a few raises and promotions after almost a decade in the corporate finance realm, and I finally got to the point where I felt like I had “made it.”

However, when I got to that point I still wasn’t completely satisfied. In fact, I only wanted more. Then I saw an opportunity to move further up in the ranks when my director informed me that she would be leaving the company. This was the opportunity I was waiting for! I asked for and received more responsibility along with a sizeable increase to my salary. This eventually transpired into a “be careful what you wish for” situation. In the coming months I felt the responsibilities and workload piling up with no relief in sight. So began the silent war within myself that would lead to the event that shattered all that I had built for myself my entire life.

I worked longer and harder than I ever had in order to prove myself. In doing so, my life became completely imbalanced with the scale always weighted toward work. Over the next six months my stress and anxiety levels were higher than ever trying to keep up with my new workload, as the company had not yet found a suitable replacement to fill the empty role in the finance department. My mind began to turn against me and I felt as if I were stuck in the trenches of my work-related stress even when I left the office. Luckily at this point I was about to go on vacation with my girlfriend at the time to visit her parents, who had retired to a small village in Mexico. It was my first time visiting the country and I was delighted by the relaxed and care-free attitude of the locals and blown away by the beautiful beaches and nature that I immersed myself in. This was the vacation I needed! But all good things must come to an end, so on New Year’s Day 2014, we were dropped off at the airport to head back to New York City, or so we thought.

At the airline service counter, I was handed my boarding pass to return home. In that exact moment, I felt a sharp pain on my left temple like I had never experienced before in my life. I shut my eyes, grabbed my head, and let out a grunt. When I opened them, half my vision was gone and everything was blurry. Something was very wrong. I let my girlfriend know what was happening and that I was pretty sure I was having a stroke. I told her to get an ambulance immediately. I lay down where I was, drank some water, and began vomiting as my body convulsed on the floor of the airport. As the paramedics arrived, I began to feel a tingling sensation run throughout the right side of my body and I was starting to lose control of basic motor functions and consciousness. It was in this moment that for the first time in my life I thought to myself, “I might die.” I’ve been afraid before, but nothing could compare to the feeling I had on the floor of the airport on New Year’s Day 2014. The paramedics hooked me up to an IV and took me to the nearest hospital, which was luckily just down the road from the airport.

I was fortunate to survive with only having partial vision loss and no nerve damage. It was only when returning to New York would I realize the cause of my brain injury. The doctors at Cornell discovered a hole (PFO) inside my heart, which caused the blood clot in my brain. Not too longer after diagnosis, I was on the operating table in Columbia Hospital to remedy the situation. I never thought I’d be having heart surgery in my early thirties. My, how life is full of surprises!

Readjusting to city life after a stroke and heart surgery was by no means easy. At first, it was really bad. I had trouble physically getting around the crowded streets of New York City with only half my eyesight. My personality had changed drastically, as I had become more solemn. My relationships with my girlfriend, family, friends, and co-workers had all shifted to some awkward place that I was unfamiliar with, each in their own way. Invoking intimacy was not what it used to be, as my sex drive was stuck in first gear. I was nowhere near as fun and positive as I used to be when hanging out with friends and family. I had difficulty focusing so my performance at work suffered a great deal as well. My weekly therapy sessions proved to help temporarily, but my mind would constantly return to dark places. After a year of living this new life as a man I was no longer familiar with and didn’t even want to be around, the thoughts of leaving the planet began to cross my mind for the first time ever. That really scared me, so I did something I promised myself I would never do: go on medication.

I went on antidepressants and was also given Xanax that I was instructed to take only when my anxiety levels become unbearable. After just a few days, I levelled out. My depression was gone and my anxiety was non-existent. There was just one little problem: I didn’t really feel anything. Everything was just “fine.” If something good happened, my emotional response was “That’s fine.” Something bad happened? Also fine. At first I was so glad to have rid myself of crippling depression and anxiety that I was satisfied with living as a flesh-covered robot. That lasted only a couple of months. After a while I saw that I was rapidly dismantling into a highly functioning soulless drone. Was this better than living as the strung-out anxiety-ridden person I was before? Were there no other options for me to choose for continuing on with my life?

Related CE Article: Study Finds That Big Pharma Completely Lied About Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors For Depression

After picking up my prescription pills for the third month in a row, I hit the gym and when I got home later that evening, I realized they had slipped out of a hole in the bottom of my gym bag. I took this as a sign and decided to try going off of my meds cold-turkey. I fought through the withdrawals following the first few days then started to feel really human again. At this point in time, it was a little over a year after I survived the stroke and it became abundantly clear that I had a choice between pushing on with the usual day to day or maintaining my sanity. I chose my sanity. It was early 2015 when I officially decided I would quit my job to travel and figure things out somewhere else in the world. I immediately began downsizing my life. Most of my possessions were sold, donated, given away, or put in storage. With each item that left my possession, I felt physically and emotionally lighter, as if I were dropping off weights I had been carrying on my shoulders for years. That’s when I began the journey that would change my life forever.

In the summer of 2015 I bought an RV and my girlfriend, dog, and I decided to leave the corporate world behind and start anew in Mexico. After three months, a ten thousand mile road trip, and just over a month living together in the foreign country, it became apparent to us that our relationship of over three years was not going to work any longer. After it sunk in that everything we were planning for the future fell apart, I was completely lost. At least when I was in New York I had the comfort and stability of my job, family, friends, home country, and a language I was fluent in. Now I fell into yet another dark place, but not for long! I was determined to make the best of my situation, so I grabbed a backpack and began solo travelling for the first time in my life!

In the first month, I was just winging it and hopping on buses to the next stop on the backpacker trail of mid-western Mexico. This was a great experience where I met tons of friendly locals, expats, and travellers from all over the world. For the next phase of my travels, I decided to do a bit more planning. I was still hurting from my break-up and needed some physical, mental, and spiritual healing. So the next phase of my trip included an Ayahuasca ceremony in the Pueblo Mágico of Tepoztlán. My experience with Ayahuasca was very introspective and I kept receiving the same message over and over again: “You are on the right path.”

Next was a ten-day silent Vipassana meditation retreat in Coatepec, Veracruz, another Pueblo Mágico. This was one of the most difficult yet profoundly enlightening experiences I’ve ever gone through. Ten days of being silent and meditating for eleven hours a day really helped silence my mind and take control of my thoughts and actions.

The last stop in my second walkabout was a month-long work exchange stay at a holistic healing retreat center called The Sanctuary in Puerto Escondido, Oaxaca. Here it took just a few days at for me to realize that the Ayahuasca was right. I was on the right path! I learned new meditation techniques, was doing yoga every day, got a crash course on preparing meals for a high-raw vegan lifestyle, and shared the community house with extraordinary people from all walks of life. We worked, chanted, communed in nighttime ceremonies, shared our most intimate thoughts and feelings, and even cried together. This was exactly what I needed! Not too long after arriving, I ended up joining the team as general manager and The Sanctuary became my home for the next six months. During that time, I helped guide dozens of people through that chapter of their life’s journey, an experience I’ll never forget! It was here where I learned that truly spiritual people are those who have been through hell and have the overwhelming desire to help others out of their own versions of it.

After The Sanctuary, I was presented with the ultimate traveller moneymaking opportunity: trimming marijuana in Northern California, so I took it. I spent the next two months hunched over a table as a pot hairdresser. Once again, it was the people I was surrounded by that made the experience a memorable one. Nothing helps the time fly like sharing stories, listening to our favourite music, and laughing together around the fireplace at night when our fingers needed to rest.

With California in my rearview, I made a stop in New York to visit friends and family before heading to Puerto Rico. This was the home of a girl I fell in love with during my time in Mexico. The connection we forged during our short time together was different than any other in my entire life. It was based on a love and respect for who the other person was at their core as opposed to who we wanted them to be. Though the relationship would not continue after my visit, she without a doubt raised the bar in my ongoing search for a partner in life.

Once again I was leaving a piece of my heart behind and continued on with my travel journey! I flew into Cancún and worked my way slowly back to the beach city that helped heal my heart better than any other: Puerto Escondido. This trip was more about the journey than the destination for sure. In the Yucatan peninsula I witnessed and scaled massive ancient Mayan pyramids. While in Tulum I participated in a beautiful and emotional peyote ceremony where I took an even deeper look into the inner workings of my mind. In Palenque, I became one with nature after consuming the local magical mushrooms and bathing in the jungle’s mystical waterfalls near the ruins. As usual, sharing these experiences with travel mates amplified my experience. At this point I was a certified travel junky and never wanted it to end! Good thing I was going to nest in a beach paradise and backpacking hotspot.

Back in Puerto Escondido, I stayed in a Vivo Escondido Hostel for a month until I found a
long-term rental. You guessed it… more awesome people!

I ended up at a gorgeous newly-constructed two-story house where I would spend the next six months pursuing passions that I had been neglecting for years. I learned to surf, explored the local natural beauty, focused on healthy living, caught up on my travel blog, wrote a few articles, DJed at multiple venues, and made sure to enjoy every day as best I could. Mexico gave me the opportunity to let me live my life the way I wanted to for a while without any judgment, and for that I am forever grateful.

Just a few months ago, I took a two and a half week visa-run/vacation to Guatemala to visit my friend Luke Maguire Armstrong in San Marcos. He and I met while I was managing the Sanctuary in Puerto Escondido the year before and ever since becoming friends, I grew ever more curious of his work with a school for impoverished children in Antigua, Guatemala. I spent my first two weeks immersing myself in the raw beauty of the active volcano communities surrounding Lake Atitlán where he lived. Here I would partake in yoga, cacao ceremonies, ecstatic dance at the Yoga Forestand even Bhakti singing at The Fungi Academy. All activities of course were shared with new and exciting traveller friends of various nationalities. For the finale of my stay, I even booked myself a DJ gig at Bar Sublime, a quick ten-minute boat ride across the lake to San Pedro.

After bidding farewell to my new friends I met on the lake, Luke and I headed to Antigua to visit the Integral Heart Foundation’s school. Though I had been helping remotely with fundraising efforts for months before visiting, actually meeting the children I was helping made it much more personal for me. It was incredibly heartwarming to actually see the children in person, knowing the adverse environment they had come from not too long ago. None of them were going to school and many were forced to rummage through garbage dumps for pennies a day due to difficult circumstances. No wonder these were the happiest school kids I had ever met in my life!

A couple days later, I said goodbye to Luke and the kids to return to Puerto Escondido. However, when I got back a shift happened within me and I slipped into another depression. I began to question what I really wanted and needed in my life. I missed my friends and family back home and my funds were starting to run low. After a month of self-reflection, I decided it was time to return to New York.

So now I have come full circle… kind of. Over the course of a little more than two years I have had more adventures and experienced more of what this incredible world has to offer than most people do their entire lives. It’s comical for me to look back at all that happened, remember living in my own personal hell for so long, and to see how far I’ve come since those times of intense despair. It was like a mental quicksand; the more I struggled, the deeper I would sink into it. Of all the lessons I’ve learned, my greatest one is probably this: My mind can be my worst enemy or greatest ally. In the end, I am the one who gets to choose which one it will be. I had to journey into the unknown and experience life firsthand to personally integrate this lesson myself. My experiences and the hundreds of connections I made along the way were what really saved my life. Without them, I don’t even want to begin to think about where I would be right now. I still have no vision on my right peripheral, but I can once again see a beautiful future for myself, something I had lost immediately following the stroke.

In over two years of travelling I have had many revelations, but none more important than
this: At the very core of my being, I am a traveller. It is one of the few things in life that makes me feel truly alive. By travelling, I saw for myself that so much of what I thought I knew about foreign cultures was wrong until I experienced them firsthand.

Meeting people from all corners of the Earth gave me a new perspective on life. I realized
that although we may have been born thousands of miles away, were raised in completely
different cultures, and in many instances didn’t speak the same native tongue, none of us were that different from each other. In fact, many of us were on our own personal quests searching for a deeper meaning in life.

Living and working in New York City for a decade had put me in contact with people from
all over the world. This, however, was completely different from my experiences travelling, as most Manhattanites had found their way and were usually more focused on their careers than soul-searching. In my personal experiences with the people I’ve encountered, those who travel are seekers, searching for something that was missing in their lives back home. For me, I was missing a greater purpose, something that my fundraising efforts with the Integral Heart Family in Guatemala fulfills.

The best part of my story called life thus far is that it is nowhere close to being complete. I still have many more chapters to write, thousands of new characters to meet, and countless adventures to experience. In over two years of travel, the greatest gifts I have received were the connections I have made with my soul tribe from all corners of the Earth. I left New York to heal myself and find a higher purpose and I feel that I have accomplished these goals. In my experience living over thirty-four years on this planet, I have found no greater healer than creating deep and meaningful connections with other souls. This lesson I promised myself to follow through with and spread to as many other people as possible. What better place to continue this journey than New York!

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Lunar Eclipse In Capricorn: Clearing Old Blockages

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We are having a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Capricorn on July 5th in most of the world, and on the night of July 4th in the Americas. Similarly to the Full Moon that occurred a month prior, it will be a penumbral eclipse which only has a subtle shade on the Moon. It will be visible (weather permitting) wherever it will be nighttime in part or all of its duration. This includes most of North America, most of Africa, Western Europe, parts of Central Europe, New Zealand, and all of South America.

This is the third of three eclipses occurring back to back, with this one following a more powerful annular Solar Eclipse in Cancer during the recent Solstice and a penumbral Lunar Eclipse in Sagittarius on June 5th. This one is also the last of a series of Eclipses occurring in the Cancer-Capricorn axis which began in 2018. This specific eclipse season marks the transition into the Gemini-Sagittarius polarity.

Eclipses reflect evolutionary changes in specific areas of our lives which can play out over the following 6 months and can begin up to 6 weeks prior. However, they are also part of a 1.5-2 year process in which the Lunar Nodes and most Eclipses are in the same signs. The changes that occur are connected to the sign they are in, the planets they are configured to, and how this all lines up with our individual astrological blueprint.

Lunar Eclipse In Capricorn

This eclipse is the final one of a process in which we have been experiencing a collective recalibration in how Cancer and Capricorn energies are expressed. This slightly began in summer of 2018  but kicked in more strongly later that year and in 2019.

This eclipse puts an emphasis on Capricorn themes as it is near the South Node which has recently entered Sagittarius. This indicates changes associated with Capricorn that can have a decreasing effect in how its energies are expressed, however, negative expressions of this sign can also come up more so to bring it to our attention.

The shifts that could occur, both challenges and developments, are more about changes or what we need to let go of, in relation to the energies of Capricorn to help facilitate a different balance with Cancer. Capricorn energies and aspects of life can be more constructive when they are expressed towards a Cancerian focal point. The areas of life in which it manifests also depends on how it is interacting with your natal astrology chart/blueprint.

Capricorn is the sign of ambition, career, duty, business, achievement, responsibility, discipline, mastery, and authority. It can be calculated, strategic, practical, orderly, conservative, realistic, authoritative, controlling, cautious, and worldly. It is a social climber and concerned with status.  It is also associated with governing and banking structures with this eclipse opposing the Sun of the United States, similarly to 1982 and 2001 in the months before 9/11.

Negatively, Capricorn energy can be serious, cynical, cold, unrelenting, and seek power over others. It can be overly focused on work and/or materialism while creating an imbalance with emotional, personal and domestic areas of life which is where the focal point has been considering previous North Node eclipses in Cancer.

Lunar Eclipse Near Jupiter-Pluto Conjunction 

Now and in recent weeks, Jupiter and Pluto (also in Capricorn) are in their second exact conjunction of 2020 which is strong until July 10th, but gets triggered by the Sun from July 13th-16th. However, this energy is a part of the backdrop until late in the year with this eclipse highlighting it as well.

As mentioned in previous articles, this energy can be revealing of hidden matters or perhaps issues connected to abuse, control, manipulation, obsessions, shadows, or power dynamics. However, it can also be a time of acquiring deeper perspectives and can have transformational potential as well. Considering that this is a South Node eclipse, it can be a time of releasing or changing negative qualities of this energy.

Saturn, the ruler of Capricorn, is not too far from these planets in the same sign. The combination of the three  (especially Saturn-Pluto) in close proximity reflects the heavy energy of 2020. Saturn brings a level of seriousness and minimizes the expansiveness of Jupiter with restrictions and limitations, especially as Saturn rules the sign that they are both in.

Lunar Eclipse Square Mars-Chiron, Trine Uranus, and Sextile Neptune

Mars in Aries is approaching Chiron which will be exact around July 13th and 14th. This is also in a T-square with the Full Moon Eclipse (and Mercury Retrograde) carrying its themes for an extended period. This reflects similar energy in the lunations of previous months.

Mars’ conjunction with Chiron (configured to the eclipse) can reflect action and assertiveness that is healing, integrating, bridging, whole-istic, unorthodox, and addressing wounds. With it being in Aries, it could be connected to identity, individualism, or  individuality. It can also be about addressing negative expressions of Mars such as anger, aggression, or abuse.

The square to Mars can play out as conflicts, competitiveness, and intensity. We have already been seeing this on a collective level as the eclipse a month prior was also in a square with Mars. In the following 5-6 month window of this current eclipse season, Mars will be going retrograde which reinforces the energy of these Mars flavoured eclipses.

This eclipse is in a trine with Uranus in Taurus which can be innovative, inspiring, original, revolutionary, rebellious, and good for shaking things up. It is also in a sextile with Neptune, although this isn’t too strong, it can be supportive in a compassionate, creative, spiritual, or idealistic way.

Mercury Retrograde, Venus in Post-Retrograde Shadow

Mercury has been retrograde since mid-June and will be going direct a week following this eclipse. It is in Cancer reflecting a time of adjustments and re-orientations around home/domestic life, family, security, land/property, emotional comforts, caregiving, and emotional connections with others. As it begins to move forward in the days after July 12th and over the following weeks, we may see that we are proceeding in an adjusted way around Cancerian matters or developments that have come up since early June.

Venus ended its retrograde on June 25th and we are now in a time in which we are progressing differently around Venus ruled areas that have been playing out since the first half of April.  It can be connected to relationships, love, values, social dynamics, desires, worth, aesthetics, art, or perhaps financial matters.

Things To Consider

What have been some of the major themes for you over the past 1.5 years and what are they leading you towards? What area(s) of life do you need to let go of negative ways of expression? differently? What aspects of your ambitions do you need to release? Where should you be applying yourself in a healing way? Are there fragmented parts of your life that should be integrated to bring more harmony into your life? How can you achieve this?

These are just some examples of what can be playing out for you but not limited to these either. Keep in mind that the themes of this specific eclipse will play out until the Fall. It is best to try to tune into this energy as it happens and pay attention to your feelings to help you in decisions you need to make in the future.

The two weeks following this eclipse can be a good time to initiate any sort of releasing process if you feel necessary. The eclipse begins at 3:07am Universal Time on July 5th with it peaking at 4:30am and finishing at 5:52am. The Moon begins to wane after 4:44am GMT. You can click here to see when the peak will be in your time zone.

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