This year I decided that instead of going to an all inclusive resort where I could bask in the sun and enjoy endless fruity cocktails, I wanted something more. I wanted a deeper spiritual experience. I knew a typical vacation wouldn’t satisfy this intense desire I had to nourish my soul, and let’s face it, an all inclusive trip is almost sure to be hard on the body, and I knew I had some healing to do.
For 10 days I was in beautiful Hilo, Hawaii with Aloha Healing Women on a retreat facilitated by the lovely founder, Keala Vai Noel. I really didn’t know what to expect but from past experience, I knew that having high expectations (or any expectations at all) could potentially leave me feeling disappointed and unsatisfied. I had heard about this retreat from a close friend of mine who said she always wanted to go, so I decided to do my own research — something I would highly recommend before embarking into any unknown territory — and take the plunge.
Here are some very practical reasons to make the commitment to yourself, mind, body, and soul.
1. You Can Do It All By Yourself
We all wish to be those adventurous types, travelling to Thailand alone or backpacking through Europe, but some of us are just not equipped for that kind of independence — yet. By going on a retreat, you are guaranteed a safe environment and great accommodations and amenities. Even better, you will be accompanied by like-minded people, potentially making friends that will last you a lifetime.
2. By Experiencing New Things, You Change!
When you are put into an unfamiliar environment, you are given the opportunity for a new perspective. When I was telling my two new roomies my typical mother woes (the endless questions, the nagging, the over-worrying, etc.) I knew it was falling onto deaf ears once I learned they were there for grief. One woman had lost her daughter in a tragic car crash a year ago, and the other had lost her mother to cancer 3 years prior. I told them they were going to teach me a lot about appreciating my mother more, so I never complained about her again the rest of the trip. This realization helped put my feelings into perspective and helped me appreciate what life has given me. I could have worse things than a mother who worries about me, or who cares enough to remind me about important things.
3. You Can Learn Something New
Aside from what my fellow roomies were offering me, I also learned a lot from my teacher. Each morning started out with us discussing our dreams and then interpreting them. From there, we enjoyed either a massage, reiki session, or hypnotherapy session. This gave me a lot of personal insight, which is what I was there for, and I really saw the value in working on myself every day through things like hypnotherapy sessions and guided visualizations.
4. You Can Never Have Too Many Friends!
It can be a little intimidating to meet new people, especially when you might be going to a retreat for healing or grief, but the fact that there are other people around you with similar fears can really serve you. Having your own time is fantastic and necessary, but secluding yourself from society may be limiting your potential to see things differently, leaving you feeling ‘stuck.’ I was very happy to be with two other women who were looking for a change in their lives as well, and I was surprised to see how eager I was to help them. It felt really great to talk freely about my feelings with sympathetic strangers.
5. Experience Real ‘Me Time’
Every day we did something new that was often very rewarding, but some of the moments I enjoyed the most were the ones that I had to myself. With this particular retreat, Keala took us to some cliffs where we were told to throw a lava rock into the ocean that symbolized an event, person, thing, or memory we wanted to let go of. Being so close to the ocean and experiencing mother nature’s power in all its magnitude made it a satisfying enough experience on its own, but because we were left alone to do inner healing work, the whole experience really came full circle.
I’m the little white spec =)
6. Look Around You
By going to a retreat, you are most likely going to be travelling far from home (or experiencing another awesome part of your country), so you’re giving yourself the opportunity to explore this world. By putting yourself in a new place you are totally taking yourself out of any funk you might be feeling, giving your eyes something new to look at. I never thought to visit Hawaii despite knowing how beautiful it is and once I booked the trip I couldn’t help but think to myself, “Oh my god, I’m going to Hawaii!” It was a surreal feeling. The Big Island is stunning and I exposed myself to all of its natural wonders, including the Volcano, which is something I never thought I’d get to see!
7. Ditch The Phone
Probably the best part about getting away was having my phone on airplane mode for the whole trip. (I say airplane mode because I did bring my phone along to snap some photos, along with my Nikon camera.) It was amazing not to feel the need to check it every 5 minutes. We had limited, slow Wi-Fi at the house which served us well because it meant I couldn’t just jump onto my laptop and peruse my Facebook feed.
8. You Can Allow Yourself To Be FREE
By making the choice to go on a retreat you have to learn to cede control to other people and to the moment. Drop your expectations and let yourself be totally immersed in your present! A retreat acts as an escape to some degree, so allow yourself to escape. The only schedule we abided to, frankly, was getting some form of healing in the morning and attending a workshop in the afternoon, but mostly it was a go-with-the-flow kind of vibe. And it was great.
9. Do It For Yourself, And No One Else
Be selfish, or whatever you want to call it. If you feel a certain retreat resonates with you and you can’t get it off your mind, that’s a sure sign that the universe is telling you to F!@K it, and do what you want. I had some serious reservations about money but when I put it into perspective, I knew that I was getting the most bang for my buck, and besides, what better way to spend money than to invest in your health with a healing/spiritual retreat in Hawaii? I made a decision to not let anyone make me feel bad for doing what I wanted with MY money, and while getting advice is great and important with these types of scenarios, it was my final say that was most important.
10. Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself
Most importantly, this is a time for you to explore yourself so you can grow; there is no sense in setting up expectations and pressure for sudden change to happen. In order to change, you have to be open to any possibility. Even if the changes don’t happen in one day, or five days, or two weeks, know that you have planted the seeds of change simply through your willingness to take a leap of faith into unknown territory. Take what you learn and bring it home by incorporating any new practice that you felt benefitted you the most. This is how change can continue to manifest.
What do you really have to lose? Through a retreat, you have the chance to devote yourself to yourself and your growth, trusting that your needs will be met. A retreat gives you the opportunity to trust your intuition, your teacher, your guide, and your fellow travellers. Trust in the process of the journey.
Keala has a few retreats coming up and if you’re interested you can contact her here at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Scientists Show How Gratitude Literally Alters The Human Heart & Molecular Structure Of The Brain
- The Facts:
Scientists have discovered that feelings of gratitude can actually change your brain. Feeling gratitude can also be a great tool for overcoming depression and anxiety. Furthermore, scientists have discovered that the heart sends signals to the brain.
- Reflect On:
Every time we struggle with depression, why are we constantly encouraged to take prescription medication when mindfulness techniques actually show more promise?
Gratitude is a funny thing. In some parts of the world, somebody who gets a clean drink of water, some food, or a worn out pair of shoes can be extremely grateful. Meanwhile, somebody else who has all the necessities they need to live can be found complaining about something. What we have today is what we once wanted before, but there is a lingering belief out there that obtaining material possessions is the key to happiness. Sure, this may be true, but that happiness is temporary. The truth is that happiness is an inside job.
It’s a matter of perspective, and in a world where we are constantly made to feel like we are lacking and always ‘wanting’ more, it can be difficult to achieve or experience actual happiness. Many of us are always looking toward external factors to experience joy and happiness, when really it’s all related to internal work. This is something science is just starting to grasp as well, as shown by research coming out of UCLA’s Mindfulness Awareness Research Center. According to them:
Having an attitude of gratitude changes the molecular structure of the brain, keeps gray matter functioning, and makes us healthier and happier. When you feel happiness, the central nervous system is affected. You are more peaceful, less reactive and less resistant. Now that’s a really cool way of taking care of your well-being.
There are many studies showing that people who count their blessings tend to be far happier and experience less depression. For one study, researchers recruited people with mental health difficulties, including people suffering from anxiety and depression. The study involved nearly 300 adults who were randomly divided into three groups. This study came from the University of California, Berkeley.
All groups received counselling services, but the first group was also instructed to write one letter of gratitude to another person every week for three weeks, whereas the second group was asked to write about their deepest thoughts and feelings about negative experiences. The third group did not do any writing activity.
What did they find? Compared to the participants who wrote about negative experiences or only received counselling, those who wrote gratitude letters reported significantly better mental health for up to 12 weeks after the writing exercise ended.
This suggests that gratitude writing can be beneficial not just for healthy, well-adjusted individuals, but also for those who struggle with mental health concerns. In fact, it seems, practicing gratitude on top of receiving psychological counseling carries greater benefits than counseling alone, even when that gratitude practice is brief. (source)
Previously, a study on gratitude conducted by Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D. at the University of California, Davis and his colleague Mike McCullough at the University of Miami randomly assigned participants to be given one of three tasks. Each week, participants kept a short journal. One group described five things they were grateful for that had occurred in the past week, another group recorded daily troubles from the previous week that displeased them, and the neutral group was asked to list five events or circumstances that affected them, but they were not told whether to focus on the positive or the negative. Ten weeks later, participants in the gratitude group felt better about their lives as a whole and were a full 25 percent happier than the troubled group. They reported fewer health complaints and exercised an average of 1.5 hours more. (source)
Researchers from Berkeley identified how gratitude might actually work on our minds and bodies. They provided four insights from their research suggesting what causes the psychological benefits of gratitude.
- Gratitude unshackles us from toxic emotions
- Gratitude helps even if you don’t share it
- Gratitude’s benefits take time & practice. You might not feel it right away.
- Gratitude has lasting effects on the brain
The brain part is very interesting. The researchers at Berkeley used an fMRI scanner to measure brain activity while people from each group did a “pay it forward” task. During the task, the participants were given money by a “nice person.” This person’s only request was that they pass on the money to someone if they felt grateful.
They did this because they wanted to distinguish between actions motivated by gratitude and actions driven by other motivations like obligation, guilt, or what other people think. This is important because you can’t fake gratitude, you actually have to feel it. If you don’t feel grateful or practice trying to feel grateful by taking the necessary steps like keeping a gratitude journal, you may not experience as much joy and happiness.
In a world where emotions aren’t really taught in school and the importance is put on striving for high grades, it’s not abnormal to have difficulty feeling grateful. This is especially understandable if you’ve been brought up in the western world, which is full of consumerism and competition, a world where we’re constantly made to feel we are lacking so we need to strive for more.
Participants were asked to rate how grateful they felt toward the person giving them the money and how much they wanted to pay it forward to a charitable cause as well as how guilty they thought they would feel if they didn’t help. They were also given questionnaires to measure how grateful they felt in general.
We found that across the participants, when people felt more grateful, their brain activity was distinct from brain activity related to guilt and the desire to help a cause. More specifically, we found that when people who are generally more grateful gave more money to a cause, they showed greater neural sensitivity in the medial prefrontal cortex, a brain area associated with learning and decision making. This suggests that people who are more grateful are also more attentive to how they express gratitude.
Most interestingly, when we compared those who wrote the gratitude letters with those who didn’t, the gratitude letter writers showed greater activation in the medial prefrontal cortex when they experienced gratitude in the fMRI scanner. This is striking as this effect was found three months after the letter writing began. This indicates that simply expressing gratitude may have lasting effects on the brain. While not conclusive, this finding suggests that practicing gratitude may help train the brain to be more sensitive to the experience of gratitude down the line, and this could contribute to improved mental health over time.
It’s also interesting to note that a recent study just discovered a brain network that “gives rise to feelings of gratitude. The study could spur future investigations into how these ‘building blocks’ transform social information into complex emotions.” (source)
What About The Heart?
The work and research above is great, but where do we actually experience these feelings? They are clearly not a product of our brain, they are products of our consciousness, and when we feel them the brain responds. Researchers are now discovering that the heart also responds and that it might actually be the heart that’s responsible for sending these signals to the brain.
A group of prestigious and internationally recognized leaders in physics, biophysics, astrophysics, education, mathematics, engineering, cardiology, biofeedback, and psychology (among other disciplines) have been doing some brilliant work over at the Institute of HeartMath.
Their work, among many others, has proven that when a person is feeling really positive emotions like gratitude, love, or appreciation, the heart beats out a different message, which determines what kind of signals are sent to the brain.
Not only that, but because the heart beats out the largest electromagnetic field produced in the body, the Institute has been able to gather a significant amount of data.
According to Rolin McCratey, Ph.D, and Director of Research at Heartmath?)
“Emotional information is actually coded and modulated into these fields. By learning to shift our emotions, we are changing the information coded into the magnetic fields that are radiated by the heart, and that can impact those around us. We are fundamentally and deeply connected with each other and the planet itself.” (source)
Another great point made below by the Institute:
“One important way the heart can speak to and influence the brain is when the heart is coherent – experiencing stable, sine-wavelike pattern in its rhythms. When the heart is coherent, the body, including the brain, begins to experience all sorts of benefits, among them are greater mental clarity and ability, including better decision making.” (source)
In fact, the heart actually sends more signals to the brain than the brain sends in return. What’s even more amusing is the fact that these heart signals (from heart to brain) actually have a significant effect on brain function.
Research findings have shown that as we practice heart coherence and radiate love and compassion, our heart generates a coherent electromagnetic wave into the local field environment that facilitates social coherence, whether in the home, workplace, classroom or sitting around a table. As more individuals radiate heart coherence, it builds an energetic field that makes it easier for others to connect with their heart. So, theoretically it is possible that enough people building individual and social coherence could actually contribute to an unfolding global coherence. – McCratey
So far, the researchers have discovered that the heart communicates with the brain and body in four ways: neurological communication (nervous system), biophysical communication (pulse wave), biochemical communication (hormones), and energetic communication (electromagnetic fields).
“HeartMath research has demonstrated that different patterns of heart activity (which accompany different emotional states) have distinct effects on cognitive and emotional function. During stress and negative emotions, when the heart rhythm pattern is erratic and disordered, the corresponding pattern of neural signals traveling from the heart to the brain inhibits higher cognitive function. This limits our ability to think clearly, remember, learn, reason, and make effective decisions. In contrast, the more ordered and stable pattern of the heart’s input to the brain during positive emotional states has the opposite effect. It facilitates cognitive function and reinforces positive feelings and emotional stability.” (source)
Gratitude and Positive Feelings Can Change The World
It gets deeper:
Every individual’s energy affects the collective field environment. The means each person’s emotions and intentions generate an energy that affects the field. A first step in diffusing societal stress in the global field is for each of us to take personal responsibility for our own energies. We can do this by increasing our personal coherence and raising our vibratory rate, which helps us become more conscious of the thoughts, feelings, and attitudes that we are feeding the field each day. We have a choice in every moment to take to heart the significance of intentionally managing our energies. This is the free will or local freedom that can create global cohesion. – Dr. Deborah Rozman, the President of Quantum Intech (source)
Overall, this type of work suggests that human consciousness in general can change the world.
One study, for example, was done during the Israel-Lebanon war in the 1980s. Two Harvard University professors organized groups of experienced meditators in Jerusalem, Yugoslavia and the United Sates and asked them to focus their attention on the area of conflict at various intervals over a 27-month period. Over the course of the study, the levels of violence in Lebanon decreased between 40 and 80 percent each time a meditating group was in place. The average number of people killed during the war each day dropped from 12 to three, and war-related injuries fell by 70 percent. (source)
Another great example is a study that was conducted in 1993 in Washington, D.C., which showed a 25 percent drop in crime rates when 2,500 meditators meditated during a specific period of time with that intention.
This type of information is heavily correlated with quantum physics, as many experiments in that area as well as parapsychology (telepathy, remote viewing, distant healing) indicate similar findings. (source)
This holds true as far back as 1999. Statistics professor Jessica Utts at UC Irvine published a paper showing that parapsychological experiments have produced much stronger results than those showing a daily dose of aspirin helps prevent heart attacks. Utts also showed that these results are much stronger than the research behind various drugs like antiplatelets.
This type of work has statistically significant implications, yet is heavily ignored and labelled as pseudoscience simply because it conflicts with long-held beliefs we have trouble letting go of … But times are changing.
“For many years I have worked with researchers doing very careful work [in parapsychology], including a year that I spent full-time working on a classified project for the United States government, to see if we could use these abilities for intelligence gathering during the Cold War… At the end of that project I wrote a report for Congress, stating what I still think is true. The data in support of precognition and possibly other related phenomena are quite strong statistically, and would be widely accepted if it pertained to something more mundane. Yet, most scientists reject the possible reality of these abilities without ever looking at data! And on the other extreme, there are true believers who base their beliefs solely on anecdotes and personal experience. I have asked debunkers if there is any amount of data that would convince them, and they generally have responded by saying, “probably not.” I ask them what original research they have read, and they mostly admit that they haven’t read any. Now there is a definition of pseudo-science-basing conclusions on belief rather than data!” – Utts, Chair of the Statistics Department, UC Irvine (Dean Radin, Real Magic)
Emotions and other factors associated with consciousness have the power to transform our inner world in ways we don’t fully understand yet. These findings show how consciousness can actually transform the physical/material world, and that’s huge. This validates the idea that if we can change our inner world through gratitude, empathy, compassion, and meditation, we can make our outer world more peaceful.
Q Is Not The Answer; Q Is The Question
- The Facts:
For many devout followers of the Q movement, it's believed that the fate of our civilization is in the hands of those who are working directly to take down the Deep State, and the ultimate goal is the conviction and punishment of Deep State criminals
- Reflect On:
Can we see the Q-anon phenomenon not as the cause but merely as one of many consequences of the 'Great Awakening' humanity is going through?
Let’s assume, for the purposes of this article, that Q-Anon is indeed what a consensus of Q followers believe it to be: an alliance of highly placed people in politics, intelligence, and the military who, in coordination with Donald Trump, are seeking to remove the massive control structure referred to as the Deep State from their seat of power. Even if you are a non-believer of Q, the point of this article will remain the same.
There can be no contesting that the Q movement has galvanized a great number of Americans (and others around the world) who care about the constitution and the rule of law, whom Q refers to as ‘patriots.’ This group of people have found something to believe in. They have great hopes that the criminal and even treasonous behavior that has been going on behind the scenes in every sphere of activity–political, social, economic–will be fully revealed and fully terminated.
Fair enough. But those of us who identify as patriots or truth-seekers have to ask ourselves: Are we personally achieving our part of the mission for which this whole battle with ‘dark forces’ was initially conceived?
The Great Awakening
There is a ‘Great Awakening’ occurring amongst human beings on this planet, make no mistake. And Q often refers to this ‘Great Awakening’ amidst their info drops. But it is important to realize that the Q-Anon phenomenon is not the driver of this ‘Great Awakening,’ but merely one of a multitude of consequences of this awakening. The awakening of humanity at this particular time in history, one which leads to an evolutionary ‘jump,’ an ascension to a higher plane of existence, has been hinted at and prophesied by many of the world’s spiritual traditions going back thousands of years.
Meanwhile, those behind the Q-Anon phenomenon certainly don’t have as long of a history and can be considered as relative latecomers to the unfolding of the overall plan for humanity. This is not to discount the importance of what they are doing: working to reveal the dark dealings of a massive control structure and bringing perpetrators of horrific and treasonous crimes to justice, effectively clearing the way for humanity to move forward in the material world.
However, one must be clear that the ‘Great Awakening’ is not merely the realization that dark actions such as Satanic ritual sacrifice, pedophilia, human experimentation, and mind control have been effectively hidden from our view for centuries, or even that those perpetrating these crimes are going to face the full extent of the law. It is the awakening to the fact that, as individuals, we are truly sovereign beings, and our highest collective aspiration is to manage our civilization without a ruling class or master.
Many patriots look at Q as their savior and cannot see beyond the moment when justice is served. But the larger question is: When the bloodlines and their minions that have been ruling us since the beginning of known history are suddenly deposed, what will we replace them with? How will the vacuum be filled? Will those military, political and intelligence operatives who see themselves as directly responsible for taking down the Deep State simply assume command? On the basis of what authority? Their own opinions about how the world should be run?
Yes, we have a Constitution, we have moral principles as well as checks and balances around rulership that, if followed, would probably lead to a comfortable life for most. But will we simply be replacing one ruler with another, albeit a bit more benevolent? And will we just stand by and accept a benevolent rulership that gradually devolves as most master/slave relationships do when power begins to corrupt by its very nature? Are we still going to be seeking leadership rather than looking inside ourselves for the golden light of sovereignty?
We have to see that we may be facing a similar challenge that Jesus did two thousand years ago, where he tried his best to explain to people their inherent self-guidance mechanism in following the will of their higher self (the ‘Father’). At that time, few could see Jesus as other than a savior they had to follow word-by-word rather than thinking for themselves and learning from their own experiences. This quandary is humorously illustrated in the following clip from Monty Python’s The Life of Brian.
Brian: Please, please, please listen. I’ve got one or two things to say.
Crowd: Tell us! Tell us both of them!
Brian: Look, you’ve got it all wrong! You don’t need to follow me. You don’t need to follow anybody! You’ve got to think for yourselves! You’re all individuals!
Crowd: Yes! We’re all individuals!
Brian: You’re all different!
Crowd: Yes, we are all different!
Man in crowd: I’m not…
Brian: You’ve all got to work it out for yourselves!
Crowd: Yes, we’ve all got to work it out for ourselves!
Crowd: Tell us more!
Brian: No, that’s the point! Don’t let anyone tell you what to do!
Many patriots take the famous Q catchphrase ‘Where We Go One We Go All’ to mean that we are united as patriots in the fight against the Deep State criminals. In this way it is a rallying cry for an ‘us versus them’ mentality, where we see ourselves as the ‘good’ fighting against the ‘bad.’ Certainly, there is much in the Q information drops that suggests that this is exactly the way most of the people behind Q see things, and therein lies the limitations. This is why Q is not the answer–certainly not the ultimate answer–to our quest for salvation.
But one thing we can say about the Q drops is that they tend to be inquiries rather than statements of fact, which encourages active participation and fosters mastery over the situation with the calm assurance that everything is under control and in the big picture we will succeed. The design behind Q’s litany of questions may very well be suggesting that in order to go forward, we must all find answers for ourselves.
Another way we can interpret ‘Where We Go One We Go All’ is in the context of all of humanity, where the ultimate plan is for the patriotic and the treasonous, the good and the bad, the oppressed and the oppressors, to all come together as one within the human collective. This will only be possible if we are able to reach for humility and forgiveness, and recognize that as human individuals we are all equally connected to the human darkness that has dominated this planet for so long.
Each one of us must go through our own healing and become self-responsible sovereigns in our own lives. We have to grow past the need to be told what to do and develop a connectedness and an identification with the entirety of the human race. It is when our eyes truly open up and we see ourselves as one and naturally mature into unconditional service to the whole that the next step in the collective evolution of humanity will be realized.
Check out our CE Protocol to understand more about why we must face the darker aspects of our society, and why change truly starts within.
How To Get Over A Breakup & Stop Thinking About Your Ex
- The Facts:
Breakups are a seemingly inevitable part of life. Even if you're lucky enough to have never gone through one chances are that someone close to you has. Here's some helpful advice to better navigate these challenging times.
- Reflect On:
How does your breakup make you feel? Whether it's sad, angry, lonely or a combination of them all what mental shifts can you make to help you move on in a healthy way?
Romantic relationships are undoubtedly one of the most interesting facets to life.
When they’re going well, they have the potential to uplift us to levels of contentment we once thought to never be possible. This is especially true at the beginning of a new relationship, when both partners find themselves in what many label as the “honeymoon stage,” where neither can seemingly do wrong in the eyes of the other.
However, when a romantic relationship is either going poorly or is non-existent in our life, we can quite easily find ourselves locked into states of anger and/or sadness because of it. Seeing as though you’ve been “click-baited” into reading this article, I’m willing to bet that the second scenario currently applies to either you or someone close to you.
As someone who has been through my fair share of breakups over the years–a number that easily doubles in size if I also count the number of friends and family members I’ve helped navigate through theirs–here’s my take on what we can all do to process the end of a relationship in a healthier, faster way.
(Disclaimer: Of course there are always extremes and extraneous factors that complicate this process in some instances, but this advice is designed to tackle solely the mental and emotional sides of things for those who know they can move on but are struggling to do so.)
If You Feel Sad Because You Still Love Them
If you find yourself feeling this way, chances are that you were either the recipient of an unexpected breakup or a circumstance forced you to end something you previously felt secure in. Regardless of what triggers you into feeling this way, the strongest step to overcoming it is to assess the quality of the thoughts you’re having about your former relationship.
For you to be feeling this way, you’re likely looking back on the relationship with rose-colored glasses.
A great illustration of what I mean by this can be found in the movie 500 Days of Summer [SPOILER ALERT] when the main character Tom–played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt–finds himself reeling after being broken up with. It isn’t until his younger sister Rachel–played by Chloë Grace Moretz–unexpectedly reminds him of not only many of the not so shiny moments of the relationship, but also shows him a different perspective where the couple’s doom could be more easily understood.
That’s not to say that you and your ex didn’t share a lot of wonderful things together, it’s just that solely focusing on those moments rather than seeing the bigger picture is likely keeping you trapped in love.
If You Feel Angry Because They Ruined Everything
If you find yourself feeling this way, chances are that in your mind the other half to this now failed partnership is largely to blame. And while that may be true, dwelling on that fact isn’t doing you any favors, nor is it going to change the past.
Rather than continuing to be angry at them for what they did or failed to do, mentally shift yourself to focus on what you no longer have to deal with. If necessary, even write it down. If they were capable of triggering a breakup, chances are they have a number of qualities and behaviours that you now won’t have to deal with.
If You Feel Alone Because You Miss Having Someone
Take whatever time you need to process what’s happened, but when you find yourself dwelling, fill the voids that your relationship used to fill with the things that YOU genuinely love.
All relationships, no matter how perfectly compatible you and your partner’s interests were, require some give and take. With that being the case, chances are that there is a passion or two or twenty you either put in the rear view mirror or barely engaged with while in your relationship.
Instead of staying in and sulking while binge watching a rom-com that perpetuates a relationship ideal we all know isn’t really possible, push yourself to do what you know you love to do deep down. It may feel incredibly uncomfortable at first, but the more you get yourself back into it, the quicker your love for that activity is likely to take over and help you move on.
If You Feel Justified Because Your Friends Say You Should
Realize that despite their best intentions, you’ve likely turned to the wrong friends for support at this stage. While your dramatic and reactive friends can be incredibly helpful upon first impact of the breakup happening, there naturally comes a point where you instead need to turn to those that you know are going to give you the tough love and honesty you require to move on.
For more brutally honest personal development content designed for those who actually want to change be sure to subscribe to my YouTube Channel and to follow me on Instagram. And to receive my free eBook on 5 Simple Daily Hacks For A Genuinely Happier Life click HERE.
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