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How To Support Your Partner Struggling With Depression

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One of the most beautiful aspects of being in a relationship is the idea that you get to share and connect with another individual on an intimate level that is only yours. It’s like a little secret the two of you share — a world that is only yours to have and to hold. One of the many tricky parts of this, however, is trying to understand the other when they’re in a place you’ve never dealt with before.

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When your significant other is suffering from depression, it can prove to be a significant challenge, creating what seems to be a lot of distance between the two of you. But the important thing to remember during moments like this is that it doesn’t mean your relationship is in danger. So long as you confront it head on, and together, you can weather the storm and come out stronger than ever. This is how:

Don’t Take It Personally

It can be difficult not to take your partner’s symptoms of depression personally, but it’s important that you remember that how they’re acting is not a reflection of who you are, or how they necessarily feel about you. During depression, everything seems to feel much more significant than it actually is. A person suffering from depression may exhibit signs of lethargy and disinterest, which keeps them from feeling motivated to do their normal feel-good activities with you, be intimate, or even simply get out of bed. This can, in turn, feel very personal, as you struggle to live your life knowing you cannot be touched, smiled at, or enjoy things you typically like with your partner during this difficult time.

But again, it has nothing to do with you. In fact, it’s extremely easy to mistake this interaction with your partner suffering from depression as an unhealthy relationship. This is because it goes against the grain of what typically signifies a healthy, successful relationship: communication, a healthy sex life, the desire to explore and adventure together, positivity, support, and more.

So what do you do? It’s not like you can give up your own wellbeing in order to fix someone else’s. It’s time  to come up with a plan.

Together, You And Your Partner Can Develop A Plan To Tackle Depression

Just because your partner’s depression isn’t your fault doesn’t mean you can’t help them get treatment. Being loving and supportive is one of the best things you can do, so it’s important that you are extremely understanding of their negative energy. But if you want to help them, they need to be willing and able to let you, so continuing to communicate remains key.

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How can you do this? You can take practical steps that will help deal with the underlying issue at hand. You can begin by educating yourself about depression, encouraging them to stick to their goals, and even tracking their progress. And one of the best ways you can help is to go to therapy together. Mental help professionals come from an outside approach that is equal parts informative as much as it is comforting and healing.

If going to therapy together is an option one or both of you find difficult, another option would be to help your partner find a therapist. This will allow both of you to feel like there is a level of support that remains ongoing, as you remain in-the-know by setting timelines and goals for yourself and for your partner’s treatment.
Remember, however, that while setting timelines and goals is important, you must be careful not to force anything on your partner. Assisting them to get there is the most beneficial way to remain positive throughout the journey toward a healthy mental state.

Allow Your Partner To Have Their Bad Days

Sometimes just listening and allowing is key. You may not even have to respond as much as it is about listening. Getting treatment for depression can prove to provide a lot of breakthroughs, but don’t forget that, while there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and a lot of positivity along the way, it doesn’t mean the switch can simply be turned on or off as simply as you may think. Your partner may, and likely will, have bad days, and when that happens, you cannot get down on yourself or your partner.

It’s easy to feel hopeless, or even angry, and react by trying to push your partner to get back on track. But a single bad day doesn’t mean everything you’ve both worked toward was a waste. And if you do act poorly, you may send them back in the other direction, so be careful with your words and your actions during times like these, and just try to simply give them their space.

Become Aware Of What Each Of You Are Capable of Handling

Just because you may feel like you have all the tools to get through this difficult time, doesn’t mean it’s not going to get the best of you on occasion. But try to become aware of the situations and things that stress you out and bring you down, and, along with your partner, communicate what these triggers are (for them as well), and make a game plan that you will not cross these boundaries unless it is communicated that it is now a safe place.

This also means identifying what you need to be healthy, happy, supported, and supportive. This might mean that you have a designated time each day to be alone; to dive into a hobby that makes you feel complete. It might even mean being extremely sociable, surrounding yourself with strangers at a yoga class or close friends over dinner.

Depression is a slippery slope, and as someone who is dealing with it as an outsider, it can feel like you are constantly walking on egg shells, but it’s important to open up the lines of communication, make a plan, and connect throughout the struggle.

This also means letting your partner know when you feel unhappy, too. Pick and choose what you feel is worth discussing, and always ensure you are not keeping anything bottled up that might explode in a more detrimental way later. If you are capable of internally working through the smaller things, that might be a good idea, but never let your wellbeing suffer. Together, with open minds and open hearts, you can find your way to a place at which you both feel comfortable, happy, and healthy.

 

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Consciousness

Red Team vs. Blue Team | Toxic Tribalism We Must Transcend

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Public discourse is dominated by a dual-based system of categorization and rigid identity. The end-goal of interaction is not to broaden perspective and work together – but to argue and “win” a debate. It is time to transcend this paradigm.

  • Reflect On:

    How can we institute a more open-minded framework whereby public discourse can be influenced by a multi-directional approach to sharing information and viewpoints? The need for a new narrative is upon us – we are all a part of it.

We’ve all experienced it.  You log on to Facebook and scroll through your timeline – and there it is: a fiery argument where insults are flying freely on a subject that charges you.  Though you may aim to steer clear of the sludge and toxicity of social media comment sections – perhaps you decided to lunge into a particular topic that you care deeply about.

Almost inevitably – an argument takes place where emotions reach a crescendo and the “debate” devolves into sophomoric insults where both sides are trying to tear each other’s character down instead of engaging in discourse on the merits of respective viewpoints.

Often, we find ourselves scrambling to score points by reflexively reacting to current events based on agenda and cultural identifiers, (nationality, orientation, race, creed, religion etc..) arguing over semantics, using trigger terms, stereotypes, and gross generalizations to stir the pot of frantic frenzy.  There is a primordial root to this way of interacting with each other.  From the very beginning of our history on this planet, we were thrust into a world where “the others” were viewed as an imminent danger that must be defeated, lest we be invaded and taken over.  In modern times, this tribal notion of “the others” often manifests as an idea, viewpoint, or perspective outside of our own, and it is often perceived as a threat that must be beaten down.

This has come to typify our state of discourse – whether it’s in corporate media, in Congress, on social media, or elsewhere – it has become abundantly clear that we are feeding into endless argumentation that features polarized “sides” of an argument – and there are often only two viewpoints presented as acceptable to latch onto. We anger quickly, posit ourselves in a reflexive defensive posture, and prepare to debate with one another in a way that perpetuates conflict instead of fostering education and cooperation.

The quest to be “right” or to “win” the argument takes precedence over actually listening with an open mind to an alternative viewpoint, robbing us of the opportunity to learn something new, expand our perspective, and integrate new data into our thought process to assist in evolving our consciousness.  Scientists call this motivative reasoning: a phenomenon where our unconscious motivations (beliefs/desires/fears) shape the way we interpret information.  Some ideas resonate with what we identify with – and we want them to win.  Other ideas sound like the “other” side – and we want to denigrate, defeat and banish those ideas out of the discourse.  When we apply this to our world we see how the polarizing power of partisanship and deeply held belief-systems influences our perceptions of the world around us.

“Motivated reasoning theory suggests that reasoning processes (information selection and evaluation, memory encoding, attitude formation, judgment, and decision-making) are influenced by motivations or goals. Motivations are desired end-states that individuals want to achieve. The number of these goals that have been theorized is numerous, but political scientists have focused principally on two broad categories of motivations: accuracy motivations (the desire to be “right” or “correct”) and directional or defensive motivations (the desire to protect or bolster a predetermined attitude or identity).” ~Thomas J. Leeper

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Even when we think we’re being objective/fair-minded – we still can wind up unconsciously arguing for something with mechanical repetition – even when the empirical evidence shows that there is no sound basis for our argument.  We’ve become more adept at crafting and presenting an argument than conducting an actual investigation and critical thinking into the truth of the matter at hand.

But shouldn’t our motivation to find truth be more prominent than our motivation to be “right” or to cherry-pick arguments and articles that reinforce our own views? How can we cut through our prejudices/biases and motivation – and look at data and information as objectively as possible?

Making A Change

Perhaps it begins with shedding overly rigid identities and boxes that have been created for us in order to herd us into predictable boxes.  How often do you find yourself parroting a viewpoint or argument that you feel is aligned with your primary identity?  Perhaps you identify primarily as a Democrat.  If so – should your entire viewpoint be defined by this identifier to where you only agree with policies and/or ideas presented by those on your team (Team Democrat)?  If you identify as a woman – is that all you are?  If you consider yourself a Christian – must your perspective only be aligned with a narrow prescription of popularized Christian “values”?  If you consider yourself part of the “conscious community” – must everything be understood and reasoned through that filter?

This isn’t to say that identity isn’t important.  Expressing a sense of who we are is paramount – but that expression is unnecessarily limited when we aren’t open-minded and don’t allow for a full-spectrum experience. Identity politics is always an ever-evolving realm, and many of us attach more value to certain identifiers than others, be it race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, etc.. It’s respectful to be supportive of an individual’s universal right to self-identify (or even their right not to identify at all), but it is also helpful to exercise a level of suspicion about the ability of rigid identifiers and social constructs (like race and gender) to accurately portray the multi-dimensional beings that we are.

“There’s a dangerous corrosive side to identity politics, ie: making one’s gender/skin color/religion/sect/sexuality one’s *defining* trait. Between groups this can divide people rather than unite them, promoting rather than reducing group stereotypes, and therefore increasing discrimination.

Within groups this can lend itself to reinforcing a hegemony for those individual members who refuse to conform to what being a member of that group is *meant* to mean, as defined by that community’s internal power structures. This is like the old trope “You can’t be a true Muslim/black man, and be gay”.  ~Maajid Nawaz

Breaking down these constructs and constrictive identifiers will usher in a new framework for discourse.  Currently, major media and news outlets rarely put forth effort in facilitating an open-range discourse, and are capitalizing (and in many instances feeding) the toxic tribalism where only two-view points are presented without any real effort to find intersectionality or genuine exchange. We see the phenomena of “both sides of the same coin” playing itself out again and again as it pertains to a polarized duality of public opinion.   Thus, the vast percentage of the populace are unconsciously bombarded with polarized view-points that unseat their own ability to find the neutral and to explore new thought-forms outside of the limits of dual categorization.

An unknown ‘something’ has taken possession of a smaller or greater portion of the psyche and asserts its hateful and harmful existence undeterred by all our insight, reason, and energy, thereby proclaiming the power of the unconscious over the conscious mind, the sovereign power of possession.”  ~Carl Jung

It would be prudent for all of us to examine whether our own psyches and intellects have been unseated by an unknown, unconscious force. We are now tasked to get back in the driver’s seat of our own consciousness, turn off cruise-control, and navigate our own vehicles.  Just as the fleshly body must be cleansed of parasites and toxins such that they don’t become hosts for worms that weaken the body’s vitality, the mind must go through its own filtration process to clear out intrusions and predictive programming that wane our original core vibrational thought patterns.  Otherwise, we are often just passive receivers of whatever the TV is downloading into our minds.

The Need for Innovative Narrative

So who are the new story-tellers who can create a more progressive narrative of universality?  A narrative where we seek to understand each other by coalescing in multi-sensory empathy and cosmic commonality?  A narrative which rejects that humanity is a simple, basic species that can easily be divided into boxes of artificially devised social constructs.  A narrative which recognizes that we are coming out of an age of spiritual amnesia – and many of our societal problems are related to our universal yearning for meaning, truth, and a desire to be connected, balanced, and whole in our relationship with each other and our selves. The need for a new narrative is upon us – and we each bring a unique gift that is required to comprise the tapestry of our immediate position in this time/space.

Free David Wilcock Screening: Disclosure & The Fall of the Cabal

We interviewed David about what is happening within the cabal and disclosure. He shared some incredible insight that is insanely relevant to today.

So far, the response to this interview has been off the charts as people are calling it the most concise update of what's happening in our world today.

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Consciousness

Was Meditation What Kept The Thai Boys Calm While Trapped In The Cave?

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Mindfulness and Buddhist meditation has been proven to reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety, and stress. The boys trapped in the cave were taught this technique and many feel it may have assisted them in staying calm.

  • Reflect On:

    If this practice could help these boys who were literally trapped in a cage, could it be of benefit to those of us who are feeling trapped, emotionally or spiritually?

Recently, 12 Thai boys had been discovered after being trapped in a cave during a heavy monsoon. They all made it out alive and are in good health. One may wonder, how on earth were these boys able to remain calm while in the cave with no knowledge as to whether or not they would be found?

They were reportedly taught a method of Buddhist or mindfulness meditation to assist them with their intensely physical and emotional challenge.

“Look at how calm they were sitting there waiting. No one was crying or anything. It was astonishing,” the mother of one of the boys told the AP, referring to a viral video of the moment the boys were found.

How Did This Come About?

The boys’ coach, Ekapol Chanthawong, had led the boys on a hike into the cave that they had been to before, but sadly due to heavy rains, the cave flooded on June 23, trapping the boys inside. Thankfully, Ekapol had been trained in the practice of meditation while he was a Buddhist monk for a decade before becoming a soccer coach. As it turns out this skill was a very good one to have considering the circumstances of their predicament. Multiple news sources reported that he taught the boys, aged 11 to 16 how to meditate in the cave to keep them calm and to preserve their energy through their nearly two-week dilemma.

“He could meditate up to an hour,” Ekapol’s aunt, Tham Chanthawong, told the AP. “It has definitely helped him and probably helps the boys to stay calm.”

Ekapol, 25 went to live in a monastery at the age of 12 after becoming an orphan. The Straights Times reported that he trained to be a monk for 10 years at a monastery in Mae Sai, Thailand, but eventually left to take care of his sick grandmother. After that, he was hired to become the assistant coach of the soccer team, the Wild Boars.

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Keep in mind, these boys had no food and very little water while in the cave.

Did The Meditation Save Them?

There is really no way to know the answer to that question with absolute certainty, however, it must have helped tremendously. Meditation can assist to calm the mind, lower stress and help to connect to the power within. This particular style of Buddhist meditation has been around for thousands of years after the Buddha began teaching it as a tool for achieving a level of clarity, peace of mind and a liberation from suffering. No doubt the boys would have felt some despair while in the cave, but it seems as though the meditation was able to help negate some of those emotions.

From Vox.com:

Though there are few randomized control trials on meditation and mental health, a 2014 meta-analysis by Johns Hopkins researchers for the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality found that meditation, and in particular mindfulness, can have a role in treating depression, anxiety, and pain in adults — as much as medications but with no side effects. Meditation can also, to a lesser degree, reduce the toll of psychological distress, the review found. The research on kids is still fairly preliminary, though more and more schools are implementing mindfulness meditation programs.

How Can This Assist You?

Do you ever feel as though you’re trapped? There are heavy and pressing issues, but you just can’t seem to find a solution, the clarity that’s needed or a way to lessen the burden on your shoulders? If these Thai boys were able to stay calm while being physically trapped through the power of mindfulness meditation, then certainly there may be something here for you, too.

Meditation, in general, may be able to assist you to help you find the clarity and peace that you’ve been longing for, and the best part is — it can be done anywhere, anytime and for free. We have everything we need inside of us, we just have to take the time, to sit down, breathe and listen. To learn the practice of Buddhist or mindfulness meditation specifically, check out, An Introduction To Mindfulness Meditation, or dozens of other articles about the wide array of techniques, guides, and benefits of incorporating meditation into your life.

Related CE Article 

Rescue Of Thai Children Trapped In Cave Has Captivated Humanity 

Much Love

Free David Wilcock Screening: Disclosure & The Fall of the Cabal

We interviewed David about what is happening within the cabal and disclosure. He shared some incredible insight that is insanely relevant to today.

So far, the response to this interview has been off the charts as people are calling it the most concise update of what's happening in our world today.

Watch the interview here.
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Consciousness

When Life Feels Like Too Much

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Sometimes in life, we can become overwhelmed with all that is taking place. Couple this with an increased shift in consciousness taking place, and it can sometimes feel a little 'crazy to get through each day.

  • Reflect On:

    Are you taking time to reflect and understand yourself? How about others? There is no doubt that we are experiencing a great deal of change, the question is are we meeting that change with open arms? Or resisting?

One of the best things about what we do here, I feel at least, is our ability to share personal experiences that others can draw from and share in the feeling of being in this all together. Let’s be honest, if we didn’t have others to share thoughts, feelings and emotions with, we would probably all go nuts in this shift!

I can say this for my fellow team members as well I am sure, we are all going through our own massive shifts and individually are all having a bumpy ride at times. Sometimes, it just gets a little overwhelming and becomes difficult to handle.

When we think of how much of a large-scale shift/change we are experiencing, we begin to realize how much is and will change, physically and mentally, in such a short period of time within our world. It almost seems like everything speeding up, and it’s tough to handle everything at once.

Energy that our bodies have not experienced much of are coming in all the time from the cosmos, and as we make changes within our own personal consciousness.

Mentally we are going from being very stuck and ingrained in our ways and beliefs, to realizing and remembering the truth of our entire existence and it’s purpose. Who we truly are. This truth may not be clear immediately when we are in the thick of challenges, but life is presenting change many ways for us all individually and collectively.

As we experience times of mental confusion or un-ease, we the chance, with awareness and willingness, to break out of some of the ‘stuck states’ many of us find ourselves in. To do this, we must take the time to reflect on what is taking place and our life, and slow things down.

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Uncomfortable?

When the times are uncomfortable and it just seems like it is too much to handle; seeing the world the way it is, watching as we are so disconnected from everything, realizing the differences we have created between one another, feeling like this is just not happening fast enough, and feeling like we cannot help, remember that you are changing – WE are changing.

It is happening very quickly and in many ways all of which may bring up frustration in each and every one of us. Remember to steer clear of creating drama surrounding things that may present, this drama comes from the mind and ego and is not the true self. We can use what the mind and ego has brought up to see what might need to be cleared out within ourselves.

Avoid covering up everything with affirmations and false smiles, this only band-aids the challenges and hides what actually needs to be looked at. Unfortunately, much of the “new age movement” has created some powerful beliefs around band-aiding or spiritual bypassing problems with what we think is “positivity.” Face your problems and your fears, don’t cover them up and pretend its just astral energies. own it, this is how we move forward. This also does not mean we should be reckless and lash out, venting our frustration, it simply means we must take time to be aware, be alone if need be and go easy on ourselves.

Not one of us is alone in this shift, and not one of us will see it pass by without having change take place in our experiences. Feel the knowing that we are collectively in this together, and take note of that when we see what may be presenting in others before we judge them.

Free David Wilcock Screening: Disclosure & The Fall of the Cabal

We interviewed David about what is happening within the cabal and disclosure. He shared some incredible insight that is insanely relevant to today.

So far, the response to this interview has been off the charts as people are calling it the most concise update of what's happening in our world today.

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