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How You & Your ‘Narcissist’ Partner Are Actually The Same

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Many of us are guilty of blaming narcissists for all of our relationship troubles, but the truth is, if you’ve attracted one, there is a GOLDEN lesson in there for you. Chances are, you’re more similar than you think! We actually attract partners that mirror us, but we have to look past the surface in order to recognize this.

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Same Core Issue, Different Defence Mechanism

The Narcissist’s Defence Mechanism

Narcissists generally carry deep abandonment or shame issues, whether due to a difficult childhood, rejection at school, or some other past event which triggered a deep sense of isolation, guilt and lovelessness.

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They typically protect this wound by making sure they (or you) never get too deep into their true feelings, and they do this by closing the lid on their pain and relying on a “safe” yet fragile fantasy world. When it comes to romantic relationships, this fantasy world often relies on romantic idealization, superficiality, lust, and flirting sprees, as well as getting their ego fed by attention and praise — addictions which serve as a replacement for the love they feel starved of.

Hint: If they make you feel like the most beautiful, perfect, and amazing prince/princess in the world during the early stages of your relationship but you feel like there is no real depth to the relationship (like you don’t even really know them and they don’t really know you), that’s the fantasy they live in – the one they’re are subconsciously luring you into. It’s a fairytale performance.

When The Honeymoon Is Over

The challenge is, the fairytale only satisfies for a while before the emptiness comes lurking back in. This is why you may seem like old news to them after a while. They may cheat, they may neglect you, they may ignore you, or they may even abuse you. Hurt people hurt people, as they say (not that it’s the right way to deal with pain.)

The personality switch from Romeo/Juliet to jerk might also happen when you start to notice the superficiality of the honeymoon phase and start asking for deeper emotional intimacy and honesty. Because narcissists desperately want to avoid feeling whatever true emotions lurk within by keeping shallow lives and relationships, they will fight back (or pull away) when you ask for more depth and transparency.

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The Narcissist’s Way Of Dodging Responsibility

The same might happen during fights, which is often life’s way of challenging us into becoming more real, honest, and emotionally transparent with ourselves and others. Narcissists’ entire defence mechanisms revolve around avoiding emotional transparency and creating a false image of themselves, so it is during fights that you often see most of their avoidance and blame mechanisms.

They will…

1. Blow up in anger when challenged to question themselves.

2. Never look at their faults.

3. Point fingers at you instead.

4. Twist your words (or select 2 or 3 words to take offence at out of the other thousand words you truly wished they would hear and answer to.)

5. Often pretend like none of it happened the next day or after weeks of ignoring you.

6. Apologize profusely or swear to change to get you hooked again, without actually learning from or reflecting on the past arguments and challenges. 

7. Do ANYTHING to avoid, ignore, and repress where they actually stand emotionally.

They don’t want you to touch who they truly are. They don’t want to themselves. They are terrified of feeling what’s there. They believe that love and security lies in “getting” and “sucking” other people’s energy and attention in superficial ways… because they feel (consciously or subconsciously) that being loved for who they truly are can’t be a reality for them. They are deeply insecure, ridden with guilt and feel ugly inside; hence why they do anything to avoid facing these emotions and project a false reality instead. There is no point in judging them; they are simply hurt individuals who believe they have found a way to avoid hurt. This mechanism has become a way of life to them. It is not who they truly are, but they often don’t even know it.

“The shame that plagues the narcissistic personality, which will never be acknowledged or dealt with by the narcissist, has to be projected out at others. Therefore any perceived criticism (and it is a hair line trigger) will be met with denial, blame-shifting, scapegoating, and any tactic that is required to avoid taking any responsibility or suffer the narcissistic injury of even greater shame.” – Amy Adam

Why They Keep Coming Back

As mentioned in the 5th and 6th points, narcissists most likely won’t disappear forever in response to a fight or drama. They might simply apologize or ignore whatever happened to restore the status quo. They might promise they will change. But they come back because they actually need their partner (or even romantic interests on the side) to continue feeling safe and needed. However, their number one priority isn’t to simply love, be loved and evolve as a human being; it is to fiercely defend and hide from their real pain. So if a trigger occurs, expect aggressiveness or manipulation instead of a mature and loving response. This is why many narcissists become uncontrollably abusive and controlling. The pain spills out, and they always respond with fear rather than love. (Responding to our pain with love is a challenge we actually all need to embrace!)

The Codependent’s Defence Mechanism

(Chances are that’s you if you’re reading this article.)

Codependents are usually at the receiving end of the stick, walking around the eggshells of the narcissist’s defences. But the truth is, the eggshells you walk around are also the emotions YOU are afraid to feel. When your narcissist partner flips out on you, makes you feel flawed and deserts you… how do YOU feel? Abandoned? Heartbroken? Love-starved? Afraid? Lost? Not good enough? Do you try anything to get them to turn around and love you again? Do you just want the perfect honeymoon phase to come back and swear you’ll walk around his/her eggshells better next time? See, that’s also the behaviour and thought pattern of someone who would rather close the lid on pain and sacrifice depth and realness in the name of a superficial fairytale.

Narcissists are the ones who set the rules and pace of the game (manipulator), while codependents try to keep up with the game (manipulated). But the fact remains that both are playing a game that revolves around avoiding core issues that need resolving in both parties.

Whenever the honeymoon phase is restored and your narcissist partner morphs back into the same charming Romeo/Juliet you originally fell in love with, it might look and feel good for a while… but it doesn’t mean you won’t smell what’s rotting in the backyard. The issues are still there, you’re just not picking up the trash.

Narcissist & Codependent – The Mutual Core Issue

If this constant pattern of apologizing and changing yourself to keep the peace and get his or her love back sounds like you, then you have similar (if not the same) abandonment issues he or she has. The only difference is that he or she may be resisting going deeper altogether, while you desire it. Your walls of protection are a little thinner. You are on the fence. You want to heal your wounds, but you mistakenly believe your healing depends on your narcissist partner not abandoning you.

The truth is: they have abandoned themselves. This is where you both do the same thing in different ways. You both have abandoned yourselves, denied yourself of self-love, and put all faith in being saved by others.

The sad truth is that believing someone else can save you tends to recreate the same experience of abandonment by attracting the same kind of relationships over and over again… which might actually get you to adopt narcissistic defences yourself due to the heartbreak it keeps causing!

Both narcissists and codependents believe their healing depends on each other’s love, not realizing that the only “love” they both continue to chase is a superficial buffer for the pain of abandonment they’re both afraid to feel. As the saying goes, you can’t heal what you don’t allow yourself to feel.

The Codependent’s Way Of Dodging Responsibility

1. If only he/she would let me in, we could heal and grow together.

If he/she does not genuinely want to heal and grow (promises to change as soon as you pull away do not count), hoping that you both can heal together is simply wishful thinking coming from a refusal to be with and heal your own pain. If you truly wanted to face your pain and grow, you would not cling to and wait for someone who is clearly doing everything they can to avoid doing just that.

The relationship dynamic won’t become more genuine, transparent, honest, and connected if one or both parties continues to flee true intimacy like a gazelle escaping a lion. Both partners need to meet themselves before they meet one another in a real and meaningful way. But it has to start with ourselves.

2. I am here to save him/her! I will feel healed and fulfilled once I succeed and then, I’ll have his/her love and presence.

I know from personal experience that any desire to save another usually comes from the desire to be saved. I would often “see his potential” and believe that “if only he would open up, I could then help him heal and we could achieve greater intimacy.” I was doing it for me, so that I can be finally be held by a loving man without interruption (Daddy issues). I actually wanted the saving, but it turns out that I needed ME to “save” and love me – not expect it from another while having no relationship whatsoever with myself. This is precisely what I am in the process of learning today: building a strong and loving relationship with myself!

The by-product of choosing to unconditionally love and heal ourselves is the ONLY way to inspire others to do the same. It won’t happen by us trying to save anybody. People don’t change through us diplomatically convincing them to, it happens through us leading by example without expectation. Energy speaks much louder than words!

3. Maybe things will change one day. In the meantime, I just want his/her love to keep soothing me.

I don’t think I need to explain that one much further. It is basically the choice to put up with an unhealthy relationship and settle for crumbs of “love” here and there, because you believe that’s all the love you can get (or deserve). It is the passive acceptance of what hurts you. It is hurting yourself deliberately.

But once someone loves themselves and finally sees their own value, they will not tolerate anything less than relationships that reflect that same quality of love.


That last paragraph right there is, I believe, the ultimate lesson that narcissists are there to teach us. Yes, they are wounded and insecure. But we are too. And the only way to stop the cycle of hurt is by tending to our own pain and insecurity with love and compassion.

When we do so, we’ll begin attracting loving and compassionate relationships simply because our relationships reflect us! But first, we must be honest with ourselves about the pain we carry and accept that we must feel to heal. Otherwise, we’ll keep attracting mirrors until we truly face what they reflect in us. And that’s okay too! It is life’s loving way of orchestrating life events that will bring us closer to a space of self-love, empowerment, and fulfillment.

P.S. And don’t worry… narcissists will get there too (whether in this lifetime or another). But it’s not your job to fix them.

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Consciousness

Are You Sure You Want To Cancel 2020?

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Many people have been wanting to cancel 2020 given all of the challenges that have arisen this year, but are these challenges not what we need to wake up?

  • Reflect On:

    Is humanity living in a way we are truly capable of? Are we really going to change and create a world where we can thrive if we all remain in 'normal' with our heads down just getting by? Perhaps we need a shake up!

A massive evolution in the way we think and live is long overdue, and now the environment is perfectly set for it to happen. Many call this process ‘raising collective consciousness.’ It’s no secret, 2020 has been a intense year, and you may have noticed that many are creating memes calling for the cancellation of 2020. This comes from the idea of ‘cancel culture’ which is an ideology whereby anything we don’t like, even if it’s only some of us, has to be shamed into cancellation as opposed to dealing with what it truly says about us and why we’re triggered by it. But more on this in a moment.

Deep down I imagine you feel it. What we are doing on a day-to-day basis in our lives feels limiting and it feels like we are capable of much more. This feeling comes from an innate desire within the deepest aspect of who we are, our soul, to continually evolve and expand as a being. It’s almost as if we begin to feel uncomfortable when we become stagnant and stop evolving or growing.

Right now, our current way of living societally and our current mass unconsciousness is causing us to push away that deep desire. We do this because we have become so identified with thought, that if a desire to shift or change comes up, and we cannot rationalize nor see how we can change, and in turn, we push that desire away to hold onto what we have grown comfortable with.

Thus, intensity and chaos have ensued in our world in an attempt to wake us up. Perhaps it’s time to embrace this desire for change. Do we really want our world to simply go back to normal? Was normal truly allowing us to thrive?

Ridding 2020?

A lot of people have been sharing the idea that we want to get rid of or cancel 2020 because it has been such a ‘bad year.’ I understand what train of thought can lead here, and I understand what way of being can lead here, but regardless, I feel it’s an important time to embrace what’s going on and ask big questions about what we’re doing as a collective – living life so disconnected from anything that deeply resonates with us. What we call ‘chaos’ has always been a potent tool for evolution, only, we often get in the way of that evolution by remaining asleep to what’s really going on around us, and continually pushing away that knowing that we can create meaningful change.

Most of what is rising to the surface right now, in terms of truths regarding current events, are all realities that people have been telling others about for years – and yet most of us just went on our merry way, heads down, living life as if none of it was happening. For example, elite child sex trafficking is one collective trauma being faced right now by many, and every day I hear of more and more people facing this reality, unsure of what to do about it as they feel despair. I cannot blame anyone for wanting to hide from this information. Life can be tough and very demanding simply to get by, so questioning our reality and why it is the way it is may not be at the top of our priority list. It may feel easier to just go on with our lives as if it’s not real, continually voting, putting these ‘corrupt’ individuals in power and accepting life as it is.

But if life is providing experiences that give us a chance to evolve beyond this old paradigm, is it perhaps time we listen? Can we truly just keep our heads down as we watch our collective uncomfort rise and mental health decline as our world no longer resonates with our being?

Just because the truth makes us uncomfortable, doesn’t mean we don’t need to address it, it just means we are avoiding it, and if we continue to choose not to look, it will ‘blow up in our face’ – just as it is right now.

May years ago people would ask me ‘Joe, do you think people will one day know about all that is going on behind the scenes?’ I said yes, there are collective truths and traumas people will HAVE to face, there is no avoiding it. This is why so many people are doing their inner work and becoming helpful members of the global community who will be able to help others through their emotional upheavals when more of this truth continues to come out, just like it is right now.

The human race has been oppressed for centuries. At the core, is the suppression of human consciousness. The less we know who we truly are and what we are truly capable of, the more we can be coddled and controlled into living lives that serve a few. The reality of this is coming to the surface.

So should we cancel 2020? Or embrace what it’s trying to bring up on a deeper level, and choose to focus on inner work, personal transformation ad collective transformation? This, as opposed to mentally and emotionally running around trying to say why everything is wrong and bad, will this truly bring about meaningful change?

We’re All Playing Roles

With that said, instead of looking at who the good guys are and who the bad guys are, I challenge others to think of it in terms of roles. What role are people playing for one another that allows us to question what’s going on, learn a lesson, and change? Do you want the world as it is today to continue in this manner? Do you feel we are capable of harmony and thrivability? What do you want the world to look like?

Viewing it in this manner will bring us to solutions as opposed to arguing about what the problems are from our political point of view. Staying within the paradigm of our current world, where we create sides, argue, and remain in a political landscape, will always create more separation and will limit our potential, won’t it? It’s time for a new perspective, a new way of looking at things, and in order for that to happen we must come to terms with what not paying attention has created in our reality.

When we live in this manner, are we living life fully? Or are we just getting by? Are we caught up in the future or the past, trying to live in those states? Or are we fully living now? Are we ready to move from a state of being where we are identified with our thoughts and ego constantly, and move to a state where we are truly who we are, our awareness, living fully?

This is what this transition is about. This is what 2020 is helping to bring forth: the necessary events and revelations that push us deeply to question our lives and society. Start dreaming again, start thinking outside the box. Whatever world you choose to plug into is the one we will actively create. If you feel humanity is capable of something different, or better, beyond just the changing of a president, then now is the time to truly put your intention and action into that.

It’s a potent time for change. Perhaps we don’t want to wish normal back into existence?

Explore this process more deeply here.

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Consciousness

Full Moon In Aquarius: Erratic Progression

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We are having a Full Moon in Aquarius on August 3rd/4th, it will appear the fullest on night of the 2nd in Western North America. This is the peak of the Lunar cycle that began with a New Moon in Cancer on July 20th/21st, as some of the themes mentioned in that article are still in effect.

The energies of a Full Moon are strongest in the days surrounding it yet its astrological configurations also play a part over the following two weeks. You may start to see its effects slowly build up after the New Moon prior to it.

Full Moons are a period in which we feel a push-pull between two opposing signs, in this case being the Moon in Aquarius and the Sun in Leo. It can play out as either a conflict, an integration, or some sort of dynamic playing out between the energies of both signs. The Moon reflects the expression of feeling and emotion while the Sun reflects the expression of ego and conscious self.

We may feel this opposition happening individually within us and/or we can also experience it play out around us with some people (or circumstances) expressing the Aquarius side and others expressing the Leo side. In some cases, Full Moons can also reflect/trigger some sort of change or release.

Full Moon In Aquarius Opposite Sun In Leo

We have been in Leo season since July 22nd and will continue until August 22nd/23rd. This is the sign of self-expression, creativity, love, affection, children, courage, vitality, passion, leadership, generosity, and playfulness. Ruled by the Sun, it is also about shining in our power and being in alignment with what really lights us up and gets us excited.

The negative expressions of Leo can be egotistical, self-absorbed, authoritarian, dramatic, stubborn, jealous, and hot-tempered.  As it is associated with seeking praise and attention, it can be demanding of respect and be boisterous without considering or caring about how others respond to that.

The Full Moon highlights and brings the energies of the opposing sign of Aquarius into this Leo backdrop. This is the sign of friends, networks, social dynamics, the group, the team, humanity, and being in the best interest of the collective. Associated with Uranus, it can be unconventional, idealistic, innovative, progressive, original, inventive, technological, reforming, and even revolutionary.

Negatively, Aquarius can be overly detached, aloof, unemotional, and very invested in the mind at the expense of the heart. Traditionally ruled by Saturn, it can also be unyielding when it comes to the ideas and perspectives that it has already decided on.

Both Leo and Aquarius have some similarities. They are ‘Fixed’ signs and therefore can both be determined yet stubborn. They are also both associated with originality and authenticity. In Aquarius, this comes from its unconventional and innovative Uranian attributes while in Leo it comes from being inspired by its Solar heart centred self-expression.

Full Moon Square Uranus, Sextile Chiron

The Sun and Moon are in a T-square aspect with Uranus bringing its energy strongly into the equation. This planet is associated with Aquarius and viewed as a modern ruler of this sign, therefore it emphasizes some of the Aquarian themes mentioned above.

This can also reflect an energy that is disruptive, unpredictable, erratic, nonconforming, and rebellious. It can be hard to focus and more prone to sudden changes, accidents, loss, or separations. However, it can also reflect liberation, breakthroughs, excitement, and is a good time to shake things up and try new approaches to things.

This Full Moon is in a supportive sextile with Chiron which shares unorthodox and innovative qualities with Uranus. Chiron is also about bringing healing and wholeness to a situation and is associated with personal growth. It brings a potential for integration, learning, problem solving, finding solutions, purpose, and the elevation of consciousness.

Full Moon Sextile Mars, Squaring Jupiter & Pluto During Pre-Retrograde Shadow

The Sun-Moon opposition is in a harmonious aspect with Mars which can bring an active, asserting, energetic, sexual, or even a competitive or fighting energy. Mars is also in its own sign of Aries as it slows down to go retrograde on September 9th/10th. We will be experiencing a period of adjustments over the coming months in how we apply Mars in certain areas of our lives depending on our personal birth charts. Some of the things that are happening this month, leading up to it, will contribute to that process.

At the time of this Full Moon, Mars is also in a tight square with Jupiter which has been building up in the days prior. It also moves towards a square with Pluto over the following two weeks. We may overextend ourselves during this time or do things in an excessive, overconfident, compulsive or obsessive way.

Conflicts around beliefs, perspectives, hidden matters, or abuse can also arise. As we get closer to mid-August the energy becomes more intense with an increased potential of power struggles. This aspect can trigger passion and is good for strategic actions. All of these factors mentioned in this section are cranking up Mars energy overall. I will be writing a separate article on the upcoming retrograde as we get closer to it, join my mailing list here to ensure that you receive it.

Mercury & Venus In Hard Aspects With Saturn, Venus Conjunct North Node

Mercury is in a tight opposition with Saturn. This can reflect thoughts or conversations that are cautious, hesitant, pessimistic, or limiting. We may experience delays or obstacles around commuting or communications with others.  The need to be realistic around certain issues may also come up.

Like Mercury, Venus has social qualities and is also in a hard aspect with Saturn, this one being a frustrating quincunx. It can be hard to integrate or juggle Saturnian areas of responsibilities, commitments, boundaries, discipline, and structures with Venus areas of friendships, love, pleasures, sensuality, values, money, attraction, or other things that are aesthetic related. We may need to be extra adaptable or make adjustments.

Venus is also moving towards a conjunction with the Lunar North Node in Gemini in the days following this Full Moon. New relations, or developments around past relations, could have a fated quality that can bring growth and help us to move forward in a better or constructive way.  Our perception or approach to Venus ruled areas (mentioned in above paragraph) may evolve in a helpful manner.

Things To Consider

In what areas of your life should you try new approaches? What can you do to shake things up? What are some potential solutions for issues you are facing? How can you use your creativity in an innovative way? What are your relations with others pushing you towards? How can you be more of a team player? How can you better balance needs of self with the needs of the group?   What parts of your life are calling for originality and authenticity?

These are just some examples of themes that could come up during this period; however, there may be other variations of this energy playing out as well.  If you wish to do any sort of intentional release connected to what has come up at this Full Moon, it is best to do so anytime over the two weeks following when it is waning. The exact moment of this Full Moon is on August 3rd at 3:59pm Universal Time. You can click here to see what that is in your time zone.

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Consciousness

The Benefits of Keeping A Dream Journal

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Recently, scientists from Caltech university proved that an ancient species of jellyfish has a sleep cycle. All known mammals, birds, reptiles, and fish on planet earth sleep, but this finding means sleep does not require a brain, and is one of the most ancient evolutionary traits around. So, a very important one.

If sleep is so important, could dreams be too? Dreams aren’t given much importance in modern society. In fact, dream sharing is considered oversharing around most office water coolers. But there are big benefits to taking your dreams seriously, and to keeping a dream journal. Even the Ancient Egyptians were known to keep “dream books.”

Faster Problem Solving

Many studies show that a well-rested mind is a smarter one. Students preparing for a test, for example, scored better when they dreamed about the test beforehand. Every night when you dream, your brain processes and categorizes all the day’s events. Your brain needs to dream to make sense of your waking life. But sleeping is not all you can do. By taking the extra step to remember and interpret your dreams upon waking, you are telling your brain that dreams are important to you. As a result, your dreams will take on a much more educational and beneficial role in your life.

Overcoming Anxiety

Nightmares are no fun, but they serve a purpose. Even rats have nightmares! A bad dream can help reveal your innermost fears, and give you a way to cope with them safely. If you’re like most people, you forget your dreams whenever you wake up. A dream journal will help you develop dream recall, causing you to notice different dream patterns, including reoccurring nightmares. This will give you valuable insight into all the anxieties that are holding you back in life, and give you a head start on addressing them. If you are having a reoccurring nightmare about being fired from your job, for example, you should practice positive thinking at work and confront any workplace challenges you have sooner than later.

Opportunity to Lucid Dream

Lucid dreaming, or becoming aware during a dream, can be induced by dream journaling. Lucid dreaming is a relatively fun and healthy hobby that has its own set of powerful mental health benefits. Many lucid dreamers regularly converse with “spirit guides” that give them advice and predictions to be used in the real world.

Better Spiritual Awareness

Ancient Egyptians believed that dreams contained messages from the gods, and so kept a careful record of them. The Egyptians weren’t the first to come up with this concept, and certainly weren’t the last. Every culture, it seems, from the Greeks to the Native Americans, have had similar beliefs about dreams.

Modern day mystics, including the late psychic Edgar Cayce, often focus on dreams as a way to remember past lives. Unbelievably, scientists have proven that memories and dreams can be inherited, passed on from generation to generation just like eye colour.

Whatever your belief system, keeping a dream journal forces you into a daily habit of thoughtful reflection, making you more aware of your deeper, wiser self over time.

Deciding to keep a dream journal could be one of the easiest, yet more life-changing decisions you’ve ever made! Luckily, there are many resources online to help get you started with a dream diary. Here are some beginner’s tips for keeping a dream journal:
•    Write in your dream journal every morning after you wake up
•    Don’t worry about stylist things like grammar, punctuation, or spelling
•    Keep your dream journal next to your bedside
•    Focus on dreams that are reoccurring
•    Remember to bring your dream journal with you when you travel

Before radio, television, and the Internet, people relied heavily on the dream world for entertainment and guidance, and this may have helped them to be more in touch with their inner self and spiritual side. By keeping a dream journal, you too can learn to tune out the outside world and tune up our own inner, conscious self.

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