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Are Humans Meant To Have Sex With Only One Person During A Relationship? Why Do We Cheat On The Ones We Love?

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I will boldly state that we’ve all experienced some form of infidelity at some point in our lives. You may be thinking, “not me!” or “I would never!”, but there are multiple levels of cheating that I’m talking about here. Cheating could literally mean anything we’ve done and thought “I can’t tell my partner about this.”

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Maybe it was some harmless flirting at the gym to boost your ego, sharing intimate pictures online, or perhaps you even slept with someone else, but my point is that for the majority of us out there, there is most likely at least one time in our relationship that we’ve felt the need to explore some type of external, stimulating experience outside of our committed relationship. But where are these urges or sensations truly originating from? Are we really ‘bad’ or promiscuous beings at our core?

There are a few theories which aim to help us understand our polygamous/monogamous nature. Let’s examine a few of these theories and then explore what it really takes for a monogamous relationship to work.

What Our Animal Origins Tell Us About Monogamy

Although we cannot be fully likened to other animals, as humans are unique beings, examining the behavior of animals has long been thought of as a means to help us understand our more primal instincts. It seems that the odds are against monogamous relationships when looking at our animal origins. Only 3 to 5 percent of the 5,000 species of mammals bond for life, including otters, beavers and wolves. The rate of monogamy among primates is about 6 percent.

Some evolutionary psychologists have suggested that men are more likely to have extramarital sex, partially due to the male urge to “spread genes” by broadcasting sperm. Both males and females, these scientists say, try to up their evolutionary progress by seeking out high-quality mates, albeit in different ways.

“The human species has evolved to make commitments between males and females in regards to raising their offspring, so this is a bond,” said Jane Lancaster, an evolutionary anthropologist at the University of New Mexico. “However that bond can fit into all kinds of marriage patterns – polygyamy, single parenthood, monogamy.”

The human species is somewhat unique amongst mammals in that fathers do invest in raising children

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“We do know that in humans we do have this pretty strong pair bond, and there’s more paternal investment than in most other primates,” said Daniel Kruger, a social and evolutionary psychologist at the University of Michigan’s School of Public Health. “We’re special in this regard, but at the same time like most mammals, we are a polygamous species.” Kruger said humans are considered “mildly polygamous,” in which a male mates with more than one female.

Does The Desire To Cheat Come From Our Unfilled Voids?

Next we have the conventional psycho-analytical breakdown of why we cheat. This theory expresses the idea that many people get into long-term relationships or marriage because they have the idea that their partner is somehow going to make their lives ‘better.’

This is the same problem we have with accumulating anything external: “This car is going to make things better,” “I am going to be happier with this new shirt,” or “going on this vacation will fulfill me.”

Then you are hit with the unforgiving truth– the anti-climax if you will. All of these things that we ended up having or experiencing fell flat in providing us with long-term fulfillment. I know you’ve all experienced this feeling in some form or another.

This theory states that infidelity generally comes from the same inner emptiness as alcohol and drug abuse, food addiction, gambling, spending, shopping and so on. This is said to be due subconscious feelings of self-abandonment, creating an addiction to attention, approval or sex — using another person to fill the inner emptiness and take away the inner aloneness.

I’m sure you’ve all heard about this theory on why we cheat. But what if we find our relationship is generally healthy, full of love and good sex, yet there’s still a feeling of being ‘trapped’ and a longing to have a sexual experience with someone else? Could this be due to our idea of what a long-term relationship or marriage needs to be?

Is Polygamy The New Monogamy?

It seems that in the past decade, there has been a cultural surge of promoting polygamy as a ‘solution’ of sorts to conventional, puritan-based monogamy. Perhaps this is in part due to a general opposition that modern society holds against the archaic idea of marriage.

Today we commonly see a twisted idea of monogamy in the form of marriage which can frighten many from wanting to be involved in a long term relationship. This concept is often associated with oppression, the playing of gender-based ‘roles,’ co-dependency, ownership, stagnancy, comfort, jealousy, resentment, passiveness, and the list goes on. With these associations in mind, it is easy to see why our current culture holds apprehensive belief systems around marriage and monogamy.

Ultimately, we do not have ownership over someone else. We cannot make promises of staying with one person for the rest of our lives and dictate what they can and cannot do. Looking at it from a higher perspective, we are beings here to play and experience as much as we possibly can. This is why the the idea of being tied down by a signed document or ring opposes our natural state of freedom.

Committing to share a trusted partnership with someone else is different than the idea of promising forever. This is why divorce rates are so high.

Within any relationship, there most likely will come a time when at least one partner will feel at a soul level that it is time to move on from the experience. The relationship problems come when this decision is met with resistance by either side, resisting our higher guidance due to dependency or cultural beliefs around staying married.

With that all being said, long-term relationships can be amazing experiences for helping us to learn and grow at an accelerated rate, which we will explore in the next section.

Breaking Down What A Committed Relationship Should Provide

There are specific things that every relationship should provide in order for each partner to expand.

There are specific things that every relationship should provide in order for each partner to feel fulfilled.

In order for us to understand which experience, polygamy or monogamy, is more harmonious with our true state, we have to look at a grander picture.

Ultimately, we cannot be fully equated to our animal ancestors as this only demeans our potential. We are energetic/spiritual beings, and therefore our romantic and sexual experiences are unique and should not be broken down and associated only with the workings of the physiological brain.

In truth, both polygamy and monogamy have their benefits and downfalls. The notion of promoting either experience as ‘better’ is rooted in our cultural conditioning around each subject.

Like mentioned before, a large majority of modern-day culture has a distorted view of monogamy based around previous cultural programming of what marriage or a monogamous relationship should be.

Our sexual energy is a form of creative life force energy, existing as a means of either creating new life as a living being or as a means of cultivating and utilizing this connective energy within our self. Our intimate relationships work as mirrors for one another, allowing an opportunity for self-awareness, and allowing each person involved to experience progressively deeper levels of love through the building of trust and intimacy.  This is what is offered from committing to a long-term relationship.

Committing to one person in a space of trust and love allows us to deepen our love experience. This isn’t to say that committing to someone signifies a complete merging of two individual identities. This is an attribute of co-dependency, a state that is not harmonious with our true self and therefore unstable in the long run. Committing to one person for an extended period of time more so offers the space of protected venerability, wherein we can channel intensified levels of sexual and loving energy, thus allowing us to experience higher states of consciousness.

On the flip side, this trusted space can also transform into a space of dull, uninspired love for people who are not being conscious of their wants and needs.

This emphasizes the importance of making any romantic relationship a spiritual practice. It is so important to support each other in our journey’s while maintaining accountability for what we are offering into the relationship. This is how we avoid the aforementioned lull which many experience, thereby alleviating the desire to experience outside of the relationship, or ‘cheat.’

The Most Important Thing To Remember With Any Relationship

So we’ve explored many facets of our choice to be polygamous or monogamous. We’ve looked at theories of cheating based on our animal origins, as well as modern theories stating we cheat because we are filling voids of self-abandonment. Lastly, we explored how to find fulfillment in any relationship by approaching relationships as a spiritual and definition-less practice.

Ultimately, there are no set rules for how we should experience any relationship. But what we can do is learn about what is not currently working with relationships based on out-dated belief systems.

With the way divorce rates are climbing, it is safe to say that above all else, any relationship should at least offer each individual freedom. This is most crucial. Letting go of the idea that we own our partners or that they owe us something will change the way we experience relationships. With freedom, honesty, and unconditional love, we offer any person the chance to grow and become the best version of themselves, and what is more important than that?

Share with us below your thoughts on relationships, we know it’s a major topic and want to hear everyone’s view!

Much love <3

The author of this article would like to remain anonymous

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Consciousness

Ex Defense Intelligence Agency Director Shares What He’s Learned About ‘Psychic’ Dreaming

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Dale E. Graff, a physicist and former director of the US government/Stanford remote viewing program shares his knowledge about dreaming, and how we can all experience what he calls 'Psi' dreaming.

  • Reflect On:

    How much have our governments and black budget programs really discovered within these realms? How much is known and why are they keeping t classified?

The most astonishing fact about studies within the realm of parapsychology (Psi) is that they are often shunned by the mainstream media and this comes despite the fact that they have extremely high amounts of credibility within the realms of academia. Parapsychology deals with phenomena like pre-cognition, remote viewing, telepathy, mind matter interaction, and more that fall under the label of extra sensory perception (ESP), and the truth is, there is no reason why these topics should not be studied openly within the mainstream. Why is it that they are ridiculed in that realm, but have been studied at the highest levels of government for decades with high amounts of success and credibility? The US/Stanford University STARGATE project is one of many examples that confirm parapsychology’s legitimacy.

These programs usually run and are funded by the black budget. Find out where trillions of our tax dollars are going here.

Dr. Jessica Utts, the Chair of the Department of Statistics at the University of California, Irvine makes a great point on the show Talking Points, further emphasizes my point.

“What convinced me was just the evidence, the accumulating evidence as I worked in this field and I got to see more and more of the evidence. I visited the laboratories, even beyond where I was working to see what they were doing and I could see that they had really tight controls… and so I got convinced by the good science that I saw being done. And in fact I will say as a statistician I’ve consulted in a lot of different areas of science; the methodology and the controls on these experiments are much tighter than any other area of of science where I’ve worked.” (source)

Based on all of my research into the field of parapsychology, the information seems to be shunned away from in mainstream academia simply because it has an association with superstition, spirituality, metaphysics and ‘magic’. This alone, no matter how strong the evidence and how significant the results when studied in a scientific setting, instantly have closed-minded ‘non-believers’ yell out pseudoscience. There is instant condemnation without investigation and sometimes, “protecting against this possibility sometimes seems more important than encouraging scientific exploration or protecting academic freedom. But this may be changing.” Said Cassandra Vieten, PhD and President/CEO at the Institute of Noetic Sciences (source).

One realm within the topic of parapsychology is the study of our dreams and there is no better person to learn about dreams from than than Dale E. Graff.  Graff is an MS in Physics and a life long investigator of Psi phenomena specializing in a variety of extrasensory perception (ESP) topics including remote viewing and precognitive dreaming. He has a scientific background in the aerospace industries and in technical intelligence assignments for the Department of Defense. He was also a director of the STARGATE program mentioned above from 199o to 1993.

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He was a member of several intelligence community working groups for advanced physics, electro-optics, stealth and other technologies. As Chief of an Advanced Technology group at the Foreign Technology Division (FTD), Wright Patterson Air Force (WPAFB), Dayton, OH, he became the contract manager for remote viewing research at the Stanford Research Institute (SRI) in 1976. He transferred to the Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA) in 1980 and became Director of the Advanced Concepts Office. (source)

In the lecture below, he answers the following questions: What is Psi dreaming? How can individuals experience Psi dreams? How can Psi dreaming be researched and evaluated scientifically? What can we do with Psi dreaming? How can Psi dreaming be understood relative to other forms of Psi, such as remote viewing and some types of intuition?

He provides information about how Psi dreaming is accomplished, and goes into the evidence and investigations that have shown evidence for the reality of Psi dreaming. He talks about how Psi dreaming may occur and provides exercises to assist in dream recall, among other things.

The Takeaway

A great quote that’s often attributed to Nikola Tesla reads as follows, “The day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one decade than in all the previous centuries of its existence.”  This is true I believe, just take a look at quantum physics for example, it really opened up the collective mind about non-physical factors of reality and how it may influence material physical reality. It also demonstrated that matter itself, which makes up all of physical reality, is not really physical at all, that it’s mostly comprised of energy. Just look at the atom, the smallest observable piece of matter, it’s what everything else is made up of. An atom is almost all empty space, more than 99 percent of it to be exact. The kicker? That empty space is not useless, and from what we know now, “empty space” is really not “empty” at all. This is why I’ve always stressed the importance in many of my previous articles of this quote from theoretical physicist John Wheeler:

No point is more central than this, that space is not empty, it is the seat of the most violent physics.”

Another great quote from Tesla:

“All perceptible matter comes from a primary substance, or tenuity beyond conception, filling all space, the akasha, or luminiferous ether, which is acted upon by the life-giving Prana or creative force, calling into existence, in never-ending cycles all things and phenomena.” – Nikola Tesla, Man’s Greatest Achievement, 1907

I go into a deeper discussion regarding non-physical reality within this article if you’d like to learn more: Scientists Call Out “Dark Matter” – Have We Been Wrong About It All Along?

The point is, non-physical reality, and the metaphysical world is not limited to philosophy, but it’s been subjected to rigorous investigation and science. The collective mind seems to be opening up quite rapidly, but just as we look back in the past to some concepts now accepted as truth that were once considered blasphemy, it’s important to remember that this type of resistance still exists today.

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Consciousness

Full Moon In Taurus: Growth & Perseverance

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We are having a Full Moon in Taurus on November 12th at 1:34pm Universal Time. It will appear the fullest on the night of the 11th in the Americas and on the night of the 12th elsewhere.

This is the peak of the Lunar cycle that began two weeks prior with a New Moon in Scorpio. The energies of a Full Moon build up as the Moon increases its light and are strongest in the days before and after. However, it will still be a part of the backdrop over the following two weeks.

Mercury is also currently retrograde in Scorpio which you can read more about here. In the day leading up to this Full Moon, Mercury was conjunct the Sun in what is known as the ‘inferior conjunction’ and is still playing out during the Full Moon.

Generally this is an important phase of every Mercury retrograde, however, this one has even more significance because Mercury was exactly aligned with, and visibly in front of, the Sun. This is not the case for every ‘inferior conjunction.’ This is called an ‘Occultation’ and also referred to as a ‘Transit of Mercury’ by astronomers. The last time it occurred was May 2016 and the next time will be in November 2032.

This can be a period of increased insights and the themes of this retrograde may get amplified. However, typical retrograde complications can also be stronger at this time depending on your circumstances or how you are applying your energy. In some cases, this may also be a period of ridding yourself of certain thoughts, ideas, perceptions, old interests, expectations, or other things that are not serving you to make way for new ones to be seeded either at this time or in the coming months.

Full Moon In Taurus Opposite Sun and Mercury in Scorpio

Full Moon’s are a period in which we feel a push-pull between two opposing signs, in this case being the Moon in Taurus and Sun in Scorpio. It can play out as either a conflict, integration, or some sort of dynamic playing out between the energies of both signs.

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We can feel this opposition happening individually within us and/or we can also experience it play out around us with some people (or circumstances) expressing the Scorpio side and others expressing the Taurus side. In some cases, Full Moon’s can also reflect/trigger some sort of release or change which may apply more so in this case when considering Mercury’s conjunction with the Sun in Scorpio.

Taurus is an Earth sign ruled by Venus. It is associated with values, worth, the material world, sensuality, money, food/substances, security, beauty, art, and nature. It is physically oriented, practical, and realistic. Taurus is thorough and also likes stability and routine. It is like a rock; slow, grounded, and solid. Negatively, Taurus energy can be too rigid, lazy, habitual, greedy, possessive, stubborn, materialistic, overly self-indulgent, and very slow.

Scorpio is a Water sign traditionally ruled by Mars and associated with Pluto. It is about power, transformation, intensity, sexuality, passion, regeneration, hidden matters, depth, as well as shared or owed resources and money. It is emotionally oriented, intuitive, primal, complex, calculated, mysterious, and is associated with shadows and the unconscious. Negatively Scorpio energy can be vengeful, manipulative, compulsive, obsessive, and fearful. (Learn more here about how Scorpio energy can play out during this period)

Full Moon Trine Pluto, Mercury Retrograde Aspecting Saturn Sextile Neptune

This Full Moon is moving towards a trine with Pluto which can be beneficial in supporting the Mercury Retrograde process in Scorpio. This can be good for getting to the bottom of things, making positive changes, evolutionary growth, empowerment, and resourcefulness.

This Pluto energy combined with the post ‘inferior conjunction’ and waning Moon is supportive of releasing aspects of our lives that are not serving us. The previous Full Moon in Aries was also in a configuration with Pluto so for some people these themes may have began around then and could still be playing out now.

This month, Saturn in Capricorn is in its final sextile to Neptune in Pisces. This aspect began earlier in the year but may be more apparent now as it is concluding with both the Full Moon and Mercury Retrograde triggering it. This can reflect developments, thoughts, or ideas around efforts or ambitions pertaining to our ideals, creativity, inspirations, spirituality, or imagination. This can also be good for commitments associated with selflessness, compassion, healing, or spiritual practices.

Mars Sextile Jupiter, Venus Square Neptune

Mars is in Libra aligned with the benefic star Spica while in a sextile with Jupiter in Sagittarius. Considering that Mars is the traditional ruler of Scorpio where Mercury Retrograde is, this helps to bring a more pleasant, optimistic, and perhaps even fortunate energy to the retrograde experience at this time and in the following weeks.

This is in stark contrast to the previous few weeks in this same Lunar cycle that had more challenging configurations which could have reflected obstacles, limitations, delays, intense feelings, and perhaps even destructiveness.

In comparison, the energy now is more expansive, explorative, and growth oriented. We can feel more confident or perhaps even be presented with opportunities. We may want to take action in a big way or towards things connected to education, media, marketing, travel, beliefs, or ideals.

However, considering the retrograde and depending on what it is, it may not be the best time to make final decisions, or solidifying/initiating something major. However, use your judgement. Not every big decision made during a retrograde gets derailed by problems, sometimes it can just be annoying glitches or challenges can playing out in different ways that are still manageable.

Venus in Sagittarius, the ruler of this Full Moon, is moving towards a square with Neptune which is strongest on November 14th. This can play out as confusion, disappointments, and uncertainties which may be connected to relationships, values, finances, worth, or perhaps something to do with aesthetics, pleasures, or material things. We may not see things for what they really are.

Issues around boundaries, self-sacrifice, escapism, intoxication, or sensitivities may also be a theme. Alternatively, this can be good for creativity as well as social situations revolved around spirituality or art. In some cases it can also be magical and romantic.

Things To Consider During This Period

Pay attention to what comes up now or in the days before and after this Full Moon. Circumstances, developments, conversations, thoughts, feelings, or other things that catch your attention may help to provide important realizations or helpful insights. You may better understand something connected to the past and/or whatever occurs now may also be planting a seed for the future.

What aspects of your life need an adjustment, revisitation, or even transformation? Do you have ideas, thoughts, or behaviours that need to be purged? Have you had experiences, feelings, or exposure to anything connected to personal shadows or trauma? Regardless if you did or not, be open to anything that comes up now which can help you or others towards healing and achieving wholeness.

Is there anything coming up regarding financial matters or values, and if so, what changes do you need to make? What do you need to do to be constructive with your inspirations, ideals, compassion, spirituality, or creativity? Do you feel like you should be incorporating a new spiritual practice or ambition in your life? What actions can you take that are empowered or expansive?

These are just some examples of what could come up during this period; however, there may be other variations of this energy playing out. If you wish to do any sort of intentional release connected to what has come up it is best to do so anytime after the peak of the Full Moon or as it is waning over the following two weeks. The exact moment of of it will be on November 12th at 1:34pm Universal Time. You can click here to see what that is in your time zone.

Follow me on INSTAGRAM, FACEBOOK, and YOUTUBE for more astrology related content.

astrology, astrology readings, carmen di luccio

Looking for astrological insight into what is going on in your life? Or perhaps looking to better understand your life and its potentials? Get a personalized astrology reading with Carmen (author of this article) specific to you based on your exact birth date, time, and location. Click here for more information or to order. 

 

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Consciousness

Dealing With “Waking Up.” How To Handle Discovering More Than Just The Tip of the Iceberg

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    An evolution in the way we view our world and the systems within it is necessary to create meaningful change at this stage in humanity's journey. This starts with an evolution in media.

  • Reflect On:

    Can we truly change our world if we don't know where we are truly at? Can we expect to see change in our world if we don't change ourselves?

A look at our current world might bring about emotions or observations linked to feelings of chaos. With the incredible divide happening in the US due to the upcoming presidential elections, the manufactured gender, race and sexual orientation divides taking place all over, it’s easy to feel like there are ‘bad’ things happening all the time.

People often look at the media and say it’s there to ruin or shift your perception of the world negatively, and I would partly agree with this for sure. After all, that’s what inspired me to create a news source that took a different approach. But the reality is, we’re in a time where we have to look at some of the tough things going on in our world in order to understand why they are happening, where we are at and how we can shift. The difference in the way we like to do that here at CE is, we might talk about some of the ‘darker’ stuff, but we’ll always help in moving through it vs leaving a reader hanging.

This is done through an important process I built called The CE Protocol. This is partly how we have been creating an evolution in media for the past 10 years.

My feeling is that we must combine an observation of what we are actively creating in our world with personal transformation so that we can truly change the challenges we face at the core, versus simply throwing bandaids at the situation.

For example, we might want people to unite and be more peaceful with one another, yet we’ll actively attack, mischaracterize others and divide ourselves simply based on something like political orientation. Why do we do that? Because we don’t know who we are deep down, and we actively get caught up in the illusion of politics that has been manufactured to prey on our programmings.

Therefore, the more we wake up and see the illusion that politics is by consuming different media, the more we begin to see truth and are inspired to make new choices. This turns us inward where we make changes within ourselves and this then leads us to interact within our world differently because now we are operating from a different state of consciousness.

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Many people feel we can simply change our world by working only on ourselves, without having to see the truth of our world. Often times that changes a person slightly, but they will still support the systems in our world because they still believe in them, thus things don’t change.

CETV is our On-Demand streaming platform using the CE Protocol to shift consciousness. Sign up for a free 7 day trial here.

Here’s How It Can Be Done

In the four short videos below, I will guide you by explaining exactly what this protocol is and how it encompasses the totality of what’s needed to create a shift in inward consciousness and our physical world.

The basic steps are: 1. Breaking The Illusion 2. Awakening Neutrality 3. Deprogramming Limits 4. Living Aligned

1: Breaking The Illusion

2: Awakening Neutrality

3: Deprogramming Limits

4. Living Aligned

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