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25 Simple Ways To Deal With Criticism

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However way we look at it, criticism is judgment, and most people don’t do well in managing or accepting either.

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Perhaps only a micro percentage of the population can claim to have control over their bearings while being told what’s wrong with them.

The criticisms themselves may not sting as much as how it is delivered or who delivers it. Sometimes or ever so often, it’s the person at the receiving end who tends to blow things out of proportion.

However, it is important to recognize that not all criticisms are essentially true or hurtful. A lot of them might actually be helpful when assessed with an open mind, regardless of the manner by which it was made known to you.

One fact of life that many don’t seem to get is that we can’t please everybody. Not everyone will give us a standing ovation or a pat on the shoulder when we most deserve it. There will always be the doubters, the envious, the pessimists, and the natural critics.

We all have these characters in our homes, families, communities, jobs, civic clubs — you name it. While it’s not your life’s purpose to please such people at the expense of your own happiness, learning how to properly acknowledge their innate tendencies will help you respond to them better. Response, and not mere reaction, is the key that unlocks a healthier attitude in the face of crippling criticism.

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Here are 25 simple yet rather useful ways to train ourselves to respond better:

1. Recognize the benefits of criticism.

Criticism can serve as the fertilizer that aids in our personal growth. Aside from teaching us to be humble, it also allows us to tap into different people’s perspectives. It serves as feedback that can help us improve how we conduct ourselves or perform a certain task moving forward.

2. Listen.

Let people talk. It’s important to hear them out first. By listening, you will be able to evaluate what the criticism is really about. Take note of the words used. Maybe the person is just curious and not really criticizing. It’s important to listen before replying — we don’t want to worsen the situation by misunderstanding the intention behind it.

3. Identify if the criticism is constructive or destructive.

There are such things as good and bad criticisms, and it will make our lives so much easier to know how to distinguish between the two. Some criticisms are constructive, meaning they are designed to help you improve something. There’s always a lesson to learn or a realization to keep that makes you want to be a better person.

Destructive criticisms don’t work that way. They tend to tear people down rather than build them up, especially when the person who’s letting you have it is someone you highly respect or greatly love.

While not all constructive criticisms are delivered carefully wrapped and tied with a red bow, focus on what’s inside. See if there’s anything you can learn from it. Again, it’s how you perceive things, what you take away from these situations, and how you respond that are of most importance.

4. Don’t take criticisms personally. This is easier said than done because it is difficult to disassociate a criticism over a particular action, output, or behaviour from the person as a whole. We can’t always be on our best behaviour, and even when we are, critics are there. What then when we’re at our worst?

After sifting through what’s constructive and what isn’t, recognize which ones are merely targeted at something you said or did rather than who you are entirely.

5. Don’t lash back with anger and bitterness. Breathe in. Breathe out. Stay calm and evaluate the situation. Remaining calm and composed isn’t an act of submission. It means you are not letting your emotions take charge. A premature reaction will only make matters worse or result in you taking a well-meaning criticism negatively.

6. Don’t be defensive. Don’t feel that you need to always save face and defend yourself. Don’t feel that you have to clear yourself of any blame or fault. Again, listen and stay calm. Even if the criticism is destructive, just listen it out and don’t let it affect you. Let the person finish talking, and then move on.

7. Consider and accept your flaws. Accept the fact that you are not perfect. After listening, evaluate yourself. See if there was something you could have done better. Check your flaws from time to time. Even though everyone makes mistakes, what is important is that we learn from them and constantly challenge ourselves to do and be better every day.

8. Don’t blame others. Do not drag other people into the situation just to make yourself feel better or to absolve you of any fault. It often heightens tension and worsens the situation. When it’s a case of misunderstanding, allow yourself a different time to explain, especially when you feel your emotions approaching the red zone.

9. Apologize when you’re wrong.

When you know you’re wrong, sorry is your best friend. Humility tends to soften any hurt and offence. Being the first one to settle an issue and acting humbly even eliminates the need for criticism at times because you already expressed recognition over your faults.

10. Respond with grace.

This is an attitude that you can actually practice and master. Regardless of the situation, even if you’re on the critic’s side for a change, respond with grace — with a gracious manner and with gracious words This is a common trait of mature individuals. They are not easily shaken by the negative and can even react and respond in a kind and gracious manner.

11. Ask questions.

Do not be afraid to ask questions—especially open-ended ones. Ask for possible suggestions for improvement. This shows that you are sincere and interested to learn.

12. Be honest.

Honesty these days is extremely rare. People will try to do everything to cover up the magnitude of a fault to avoid taking responsibility. While you may be tempted to do otherwise, start pushing yourself toward honesty’s side. Lying only aggravates the situation and, when found out, causes many more problems.

13. Never accept abuse.

You don’t need to sit through an entire destructive session when the obvious objective is to attack you rather than help you. Even though it’s important to listen, you should be keen in discerning what not to take from people. If you discern the criticisms as abusive, you can point this out in a calm manner. If it continues, people can’t hold it against you for turning away.

14. Inject humor only when applicable.

This depends on who is giving the criticism. If this is someone you trust or share a good relationship with, injecting some appropriate humour can lighten the situation. Chances are the person at the other end isn’t comfortable delivering the criticism as well but has to for your own benefit.

15. Say thank you.

Again, respond graciously. Though criticisms may hurt, the lessons learned could last a lifetime or beyond. Be grateful to people who care enough to point out your mistakes. They could actually save you from creating more.

16. Look for similarities and patterns.

If you’re getting the same criticisms over and over again and from different people at that, then some serious personality check is in order. Improve on those recurring points. Our habits make up who we are. Don’t let an oversight or a stubborn behaviour define you.

17. Help others, too.

Help other people grow by giving them constructive feedback as well. Criticisms given in a kind manner in a safe and appropriate setting could mean the world to someone who’s exposed to the harsher equivalents. You may even be setting a standard for how to properly go about giving criticisms, thereby helping them more than you intended.

18. Unwind and destress.

All the thinking, processing, and keeping a tight hold on your self-control and bearings can get quite taxing. Don’t stay in that bubble, especially if you’re one to pore over details and emotions. End things on a happy note by taking time to relax and destress. I’ve learned that meditation does wonders in relaxing the mind.

19. Use criticisms as motivation.

Accepting and acknowledging criticisms are already big steps to personal growth. However, the best way to make the most out of the situation is actually doing something about them and taking the steps necessary to improve. Use the feedback as motivation in your journey.

20. Don’t try to please everybody.

As much as people hate conflict, it cannot be avoided. Our differences will clash from time to time, and bending over backwards trying to please everyone will only make you lose your individuality. Let the criticisms come if they will, and rise above it all.

21. Preserve relationships.

Relationships are so fragile that some people do away with the need for honest criticism completely. This isn’t healthy, as people tend to explode from all the bottled up emotions they are keeping inside. Having the understanding to agree to disagree when it comes to personal opinions keeps people from treading the fault line.

22. Don’t be afraid to fail.

As you journey through life, it’s a guarantee that you will make and encounter more mistakes. That’s okay, because these are exactly what you need to grow and learn. Failure should not be feared but treated as a catalyst for change.

23. Focus on your goals.

Don’t let the criticisms stop you from reaching your dreams. Remember your goals, and focus on them. Use the feedback as tools, road signs, a push, or a hand up that all lead you closer to where you want to go.

24. Let go of worry and anxiety.

Don’t carry criticisms like a burden over your shoulders, and don’t let your fear of them keep you from living an authentic life. Constantly being anxious of other people’s opinion will take more of a toll on you than the criticisms themselves. Don’t do that to yourself.

25. Notice points for improvement.

The ultimate goal of criticism after self-reflection is action. As we journey along life, we get to know ourselves better. This leads to noticing how we can improve before others point them out.

We’ve pretty much established how criticisms can play an essential role in helping us become who we want and need to be in the future. Practice handling them well and wield them to your advantage.

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Consciousness

Red Team vs. Blue Team | Toxic Tribalism We Must Transcend

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Public discourse is dominated by a dual-based system of categorization and rigid identity. The end-goal of interaction is not to broaden perspective and work together – but to argue and “win” a debate. It is time to transcend this paradigm.

  • Reflect On:

    How can we institute a more open-minded framework whereby public discourse can be influenced by a multi-directional approach to sharing information and viewpoints? The need for a new narrative is upon us – we are all a part of it.

We’ve all experienced it.  You log on to Facebook and scroll through your timeline – and there it is: a fiery argument where insults are flying freely on a subject that charges you.  Though you may aim to steer clear of the sludge and toxicity of social media comment sections – perhaps you decided to lunge into a particular topic that you care deeply about.

Almost inevitably – an argument takes place where emotions reach a crescendo and the “debate” devolves into sophomoric insults where both sides are trying to tear each other’s character down instead of engaging in discourse on the merits of respective viewpoints.

Often, we find ourselves scrambling to score points by reflexively reacting to current events based on agenda and cultural identifiers, (nationality, orientation, race, creed, religion etc..) arguing over semantics, using trigger terms, stereotypes, and gross generalizations to stir the pot of frantic frenzy.  There is a primordial root to this way of interacting with each other.  From the very beginning of our history on this planet, we were thrust into a world where “the others” were viewed as an imminent danger that must be defeated, lest we be invaded and taken over.  In modern times, this tribal notion of “the others” often manifests as an idea, viewpoint, or perspective outside of our own, and it is often perceived as a threat that must be beaten down.

This has come to typify our state of discourse – whether it’s in corporate media, in Congress, on social media, or elsewhere – it has become abundantly clear that we are feeding into endless argumentation that features polarized “sides” of an argument – and there are often only two viewpoints presented as acceptable to latch onto. We anger quickly, posit ourselves in a reflexive defensive posture, and prepare to debate with one another in a way that perpetuates conflict instead of fostering education and cooperation.

The quest to be “right” or to “win” the argument takes precedence over actually listening with an open mind to an alternative viewpoint, robbing us of the opportunity to learn something new, expand our perspective, and integrate new data into our thought process to assist in evolving our consciousness.  Scientists call this motivative reasoning: a phenomenon where our unconscious motivations (beliefs/desires/fears) shape the way we interpret information.  Some ideas resonate with what we identify with – and we want them to win.  Other ideas sound like the “other” side – and we want to denigrate, defeat and banish those ideas out of the discourse.  When we apply this to our world we see how the polarizing power of partisanship and deeply held belief-systems influences our perceptions of the world around us.

“Motivated reasoning theory suggests that reasoning processes (information selection and evaluation, memory encoding, attitude formation, judgment, and decision-making) are influenced by motivations or goals. Motivations are desired end-states that individuals want to achieve. The number of these goals that have been theorized is numerous, but political scientists have focused principally on two broad categories of motivations: accuracy motivations (the desire to be “right” or “correct”) and directional or defensive motivations (the desire to protect or bolster a predetermined attitude or identity).” ~Thomas J. Leeper

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Even when we think we’re being objective/fair-minded – we still can wind up unconsciously arguing for something with mechanical repetition – even when the empirical evidence shows that there is no sound basis for our argument.  We’ve become more adept at crafting and presenting an argument than conducting an actual investigation and critical thinking into the truth of the matter at hand.

But shouldn’t our motivation to find truth be more prominent than our motivation to be “right” or to cherry-pick arguments and articles that reinforce our own views? How can we cut through our prejudices/biases and motivation – and look at data and information as objectively as possible?

Making A Change

Perhaps it begins with shedding overly rigid identities and boxes that have been created for us in order to herd us into predictable boxes.  How often do you find yourself parroting a viewpoint or argument that you feel is aligned with your primary identity?  Perhaps you identify primarily as a Democrat.  If so – should your entire viewpoint be defined by this identifier to where you only agree with policies and/or ideas presented by those on your team (Team Democrat)?  If you identify as a woman – is that all you are?  If you consider yourself a Christian – must your perspective only be aligned with a narrow prescription of popularized Christian “values”?  If you consider yourself part of the “conscious community” – must everything be understood and reasoned through that filter?

This isn’t to say that identity isn’t important.  Expressing a sense of who we are is paramount – but that expression is unnecessarily limited when we aren’t open-minded and don’t allow for a full-spectrum experience. Identity politics is always an ever-evolving realm, and many of us attach more value to certain identifiers than others, be it race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, etc.. It’s respectful to be supportive of an individual’s universal right to self-identify (or even their right not to identify at all), but it is also helpful to exercise a level of suspicion about the ability of rigid identifiers and social constructs (like race and gender) to accurately portray the multi-dimensional beings that we are.

“There’s a dangerous corrosive side to identity politics, ie: making one’s gender/skin color/religion/sect/sexuality one’s *defining* trait. Between groups this can divide people rather than unite them, promoting rather than reducing group stereotypes, and therefore increasing discrimination.

Within groups this can lend itself to reinforcing a hegemony for those individual members who refuse to conform to what being a member of that group is *meant* to mean, as defined by that community’s internal power structures. This is like the old trope “You can’t be a true Muslim/black man, and be gay”.  ~Maajid Nawaz

Breaking down these constructs and constrictive identifiers will usher in a new framework for discourse.  Currently, major media and news outlets rarely put forth effort in facilitating an open-range discourse, and are capitalizing (and in many instances feeding) the toxic tribalism where only two-view points are presented without any real effort to find intersectionality or genuine exchange. We see the phenomena of “both sides of the same coin” playing itself out again and again as it pertains to a polarized duality of public opinion.   Thus, the vast percentage of the populace are unconsciously bombarded with polarized view-points that unseat their own ability to find the neutral and to explore new thought-forms outside of the limits of dual categorization.

An unknown ‘something’ has taken possession of a smaller or greater portion of the psyche and asserts its hateful and harmful existence undeterred by all our insight, reason, and energy, thereby proclaiming the power of the unconscious over the conscious mind, the sovereign power of possession.”  ~Carl Jung

It would be prudent for all of us to examine whether our own psyches and intellects have been unseated by an unknown, unconscious force. We are now tasked to get back in the driver’s seat of our own consciousness, turn off cruise-control, and navigate our own vehicles.  Just as the fleshly body must be cleansed of parasites and toxins such that they don’t become hosts for worms that weaken the body’s vitality, the mind must go through its own filtration process to clear out intrusions and predictive programming that wane our original core vibrational thought patterns.  Otherwise, we are often just passive receivers of whatever the TV is downloading into our minds.

The Need for Innovative Narrative

So who are the new story-tellers who can create a more progressive narrative of universality?  A narrative where we seek to understand each other by coalescing in multi-sensory empathy and cosmic commonality?  A narrative which rejects that humanity is a simple, basic species that can easily be divided into boxes of artificially devised social constructs.  A narrative which recognizes that we are coming out of an age of spiritual amnesia – and many of our societal problems are related to our universal yearning for meaning, truth, and a desire to be connected, balanced, and whole in our relationship with each other and our selves. The need for a new narrative is upon us – and we each bring a unique gift that is required to comprise the tapestry of our immediate position in this time/space.

Free David Wilcock Screening: Disclosure & The Fall of the Cabal

We interviewed David about what is happening within the cabal and disclosure. He shared some incredible insight that is insanely relevant to today.

So far, the response to this interview has been off the charts as people are calling it the most concise update of what's happening in our world today.

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Consciousness

Was Meditation What Kept The Thai Boys Calm While Trapped In The Cave?

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Mindfulness and Buddhist meditation has been proven to reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety, and stress. The boys trapped in the cave were taught this technique and many feel it may have assisted them in staying calm.

  • Reflect On:

    If this practice could help these boys who were literally trapped in a cage, could it be of benefit to those of us who are feeling trapped, emotionally or spiritually?

Recently, 12 Thai boys had been discovered after being trapped in a cave during a heavy monsoon. They all made it out alive and are in good health. One may wonder, how on earth were these boys able to remain calm while in the cave with no knowledge as to whether or not they would be found?

They were reportedly taught a method of Buddhist or mindfulness meditation to assist them with their intensely physical and emotional challenge.

“Look at how calm they were sitting there waiting. No one was crying or anything. It was astonishing,” the mother of one of the boys told the AP, referring to a viral video of the moment the boys were found.

How Did This Come About?

The boys’ coach, Ekapol Chanthawong, had led the boys on a hike into the cave that they had been to before, but sadly due to heavy rains, the cave flooded on June 23, trapping the boys inside. Thankfully, Ekapol had been trained in the practice of meditation while he was a Buddhist monk for a decade before becoming a soccer coach. As it turns out this skill was a very good one to have considering the circumstances of their predicament. Multiple news sources reported that he taught the boys, aged 11 to 16 how to meditate in the cave to keep them calm and to preserve their energy through their nearly two-week dilemma.

“He could meditate up to an hour,” Ekapol’s aunt, Tham Chanthawong, told the AP. “It has definitely helped him and probably helps the boys to stay calm.”

Ekapol, 25 went to live in a monastery at the age of 12 after becoming an orphan. The Straights Times reported that he trained to be a monk for 10 years at a monastery in Mae Sai, Thailand, but eventually left to take care of his sick grandmother. After that, he was hired to become the assistant coach of the soccer team, the Wild Boars.

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Keep in mind, these boys had no food and very little water while in the cave.

Did The Meditation Save Them?

There is really no way to know the answer to that question with absolute certainty, however, it must have helped tremendously. Meditation can assist to calm the mind, lower stress and help to connect to the power within. This particular style of Buddhist meditation has been around for thousands of years after the Buddha began teaching it as a tool for achieving a level of clarity, peace of mind and a liberation from suffering. No doubt the boys would have felt some despair while in the cave, but it seems as though the meditation was able to help negate some of those emotions.

From Vox.com:

Though there are few randomized control trials on meditation and mental health, a 2014 meta-analysis by Johns Hopkins researchers for the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality found that meditation, and in particular mindfulness, can have a role in treating depression, anxiety, and pain in adults — as much as medications but with no side effects. Meditation can also, to a lesser degree, reduce the toll of psychological distress, the review found. The research on kids is still fairly preliminary, though more and more schools are implementing mindfulness meditation programs.

How Can This Assist You?

Do you ever feel as though you’re trapped? There are heavy and pressing issues, but you just can’t seem to find a solution, the clarity that’s needed or a way to lessen the burden on your shoulders? If these Thai boys were able to stay calm while being physically trapped through the power of mindfulness meditation, then certainly there may be something here for you, too.

Meditation, in general, may be able to assist you to help you find the clarity and peace that you’ve been longing for, and the best part is — it can be done anywhere, anytime and for free. We have everything we need inside of us, we just have to take the time, to sit down, breathe and listen. To learn the practice of Buddhist or mindfulness meditation specifically, check out, An Introduction To Mindfulness Meditation, or dozens of other articles about the wide array of techniques, guides, and benefits of incorporating meditation into your life.

Related CE Article 

Rescue Of Thai Children Trapped In Cave Has Captivated Humanity 

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Free David Wilcock Screening: Disclosure & The Fall of the Cabal

We interviewed David about what is happening within the cabal and disclosure. He shared some incredible insight that is insanely relevant to today.

So far, the response to this interview has been off the charts as people are calling it the most concise update of what's happening in our world today.

Watch the interview here.
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Consciousness

When Life Feels Like Too Much

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Sometimes in life, we can become overwhelmed with all that is taking place. Couple this with an increased shift in consciousness taking place, and it can sometimes feel a little 'crazy to get through each day.

  • Reflect On:

    Are you taking time to reflect and understand yourself? How about others? There is no doubt that we are experiencing a great deal of change, the question is are we meeting that change with open arms? Or resisting?

One of the best things about what we do here, I feel at least, is our ability to share personal experiences that others can draw from and share in the feeling of being in this all together. Let’s be honest, if we didn’t have others to share thoughts, feelings and emotions with, we would probably all go nuts in this shift!

I can say this for my fellow team members as well I am sure, we are all going through our own massive shifts and individually are all having a bumpy ride at times. Sometimes, it just gets a little overwhelming and becomes difficult to handle.

When we think of how much of a large-scale shift/change we are experiencing, we begin to realize how much is and will change, physically and mentally, in such a short period of time within our world. It almost seems like everything speeding up, and it’s tough to handle everything at once.

Energy that our bodies have not experienced much of are coming in all the time from the cosmos, and as we make changes within our own personal consciousness.

Mentally we are going from being very stuck and ingrained in our ways and beliefs, to realizing and remembering the truth of our entire existence and it’s purpose. Who we truly are. This truth may not be clear immediately when we are in the thick of challenges, but life is presenting change many ways for us all individually and collectively.

As we experience times of mental confusion or un-ease, we the chance, with awareness and willingness, to break out of some of the ‘stuck states’ many of us find ourselves in. To do this, we must take the time to reflect on what is taking place and our life, and slow things down.

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Uncomfortable?

When the times are uncomfortable and it just seems like it is too much to handle; seeing the world the way it is, watching as we are so disconnected from everything, realizing the differences we have created between one another, feeling like this is just not happening fast enough, and feeling like we cannot help, remember that you are changing – WE are changing.

It is happening very quickly and in many ways all of which may bring up frustration in each and every one of us. Remember to steer clear of creating drama surrounding things that may present, this drama comes from the mind and ego and is not the true self. We can use what the mind and ego has brought up to see what might need to be cleared out within ourselves.

Avoid covering up everything with affirmations and false smiles, this only band-aids the challenges and hides what actually needs to be looked at. Unfortunately, much of the “new age movement” has created some powerful beliefs around band-aiding or spiritual bypassing problems with what we think is “positivity.” Face your problems and your fears, don’t cover them up and pretend its just astral energies. own it, this is how we move forward. This also does not mean we should be reckless and lash out, venting our frustration, it simply means we must take time to be aware, be alone if need be and go easy on ourselves.

Not one of us is alone in this shift, and not one of us will see it pass by without having change take place in our experiences. Feel the knowing that we are collectively in this together, and take note of that when we see what may be presenting in others before we judge them.

Free David Wilcock Screening: Disclosure & The Fall of the Cabal

We interviewed David about what is happening within the cabal and disclosure. He shared some incredible insight that is insanely relevant to today.

So far, the response to this interview has been off the charts as people are calling it the most concise update of what's happening in our world today.

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