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Pull Success From The Rubble Of Your Failure

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When we fail at something — whether that means we missed our expectations, closed the door on a business, or had to leave a position we thought would bring us forward — it’s easy to see that failure as a burned down home. For months, or years, we filled that home with treasures, but as the fire consumed it, everything was lost.

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This sort of thinking has a dangerous side-effect though; accomplishments we should be proud of, skills we can continue to use, and opportunities that we opened through that failure tend to be discarded as well.

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But was all your hard work really in vain?

Sifting Through the Ashes

Instead of declaring the failure as done and buried, we need to challenge ourselves to look critically at what we’ve been through.

What started the fire of our failure? Could we have put out the flames?

By taking a close look at our mistakes and our shortcomings, we get better at future-proofing ourselves. Perhaps the project failed because not everyone involved was passionate about it. Next time, you’ll pick your team more closely. Maybe you couldn’t meet your expectations because you had set your goals far too high. Next time, you can have a better understanding of how much you can actually accomplish.

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Be careful to recognize that reflection is a double-edged sword. The goal of this exercise isn’t to beat yourself up over your mistakes, but to learn from them. As you identify places where you could have done better, remind yourself that you did your best with what you knew at the time, and remember that you are preparing yourself to do better in the future.

You don’t often see blind men playing dodgeball, and that’s because you have to know what’s coming to avoid it.

Build Your Home Bigger, Stronger

What skills did you pick up while working on your failed project? What did you discover you excel at? What did you decide you could do better at this time?

If you can make a thorough list of ways that you’ve improved, being entirely honest with yourself, and also a list of weaknesses you discovered that you’ve still yet to fix, your next project will be tremendously advantaged.

You don’t need to rebuild your old house exactly as it stood, because clearly that didn’t work out. Instead, you can re-evaluate your skills and create something even better by aligning it with what you’ve learned and the skills you’ve gained.

Let’s look at a specific example.

Through a strange series of events, I ended up co-founding a granite importation company. This would eventually turn into my greatest failure — the company never sold a single product, and I lost a good deal of money and time in the process.

But never has it crossed my mind to regret that year. Through it I learned to fine-tune my researching skills and practiced international business relations, client management, high-value sales, and so on. Several of these skills I realized are not my forte, but a few I discovered I had a talent for.

When trying to decide what to put my efforts into next though, I knew I needed to learn how to identify market needs better, how to develop a thorough business plan, and how to reach out to and research potential customers.

What I lost in money and time, I gained a hundredfold in new skills. On top of that, one of my partners went on to internationally source textiles, and the other partner went on to inherit a supply chain company dealing with large government contracts — both opportunities that were opened up because of their experience with our failed company.

None of us treated that business as a failure. We learned a lot, and each of us still secretly hopes we’ll land a sale through it someday.

So what did you learn from your latest failure? What should you strive for next?

Get Over Failure, and Get Addicted to Success

Joel Brown, founder of Addicted2Success, is a master of empowering people to push past their obstacles and achieve the greatness they deserve. His platform educates and inspires thousands to find their best self, and there is no better way to rebuild your burnt down house than to become a better craftsmen.

Check out his interview in the Superhero Academy Podcast to learn how he got over his own failures and got truly Addicted to Success.

Community can be the greatest tool to achieve success. Feedback and the push and pull from people around can help you form your vision. It’s important to be aware of your vision constantly in order develop your self to be able to reach it, as the input you get from others is a mirror you can reflect on and see if you’re achieving what you initially set out to achieve.

Your version of success will always be different than others’, which is why it’s important to consistently check in with yourself, your values, and your passion, and question whether or not you’re acting in accordance with them.

 

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Consciousness

Why We Get Into Fights When Sharing Information

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We’re in a time when mainstream media and traditional conversations are failing to address a number of important topics within society, anything from current events to politics and so on, and this is birthing a great deal of ‘alternative conversation’ that often stems from alternative media.

But with this, comes to the common ‘fight’ between various ideas and ideologies that is much more avoidable than we often realize. I wanted to share a quick tid bit from a recent episode discussing how we can reflect to develop better communication and connection faculties that can make a big difference in how we communicate important ideas that are emerging without creating such huge divides ad tension.

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Consciousness

Neuroscience Learns What Buddhism Has Known For Ages: Mindfulness

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Neuroscience and spirituality have been complementing each other for many years now, and one area we see a connection is with regards to mindfulness. This is defined as an attention training which can benefit health and general well-being.

  • Reflect On:

    How often do you practice mindfulness? Is it something you think about? How often do you use your consciousness and mindfulness techniques to help you with your overall health and well-being? Why was this stuff once considered 'pseudoscience?'

Mindfulness is defined as an attention training which can benefit health and general well-being. There is a lot scientific research confirming it. In this article we will present the other type of attention training called Open Focus. We believe, combining these two approaches may help to understand attention training better and to experience its benefits faster.

What Is Mindfulness?

In its most basic form, Mindfulness means to pay attention to what’s happening, on purpose, in the present moment, and to do so without judgement. Originally from Buddhist roots, it was introduced into the West by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zin and the University of Massachusetts. Since its appearance in the West around twenty years ago, many people have participated in the Mindfulness based stress reduction course and similar programs. Research shows that participants may experience profound benefits such as reduced stress, a greater sense of well-being, increased clarity and focus, and improved sleeping patterns.

According to Dr. Kabat-Zin, by paying attention in a certain way, we can switch off our so-called autopilot mode, in which we often go through life unaware of what’s happening within and around us. Living on autopilot not only means that we miss out on a lot of the richness of life, but we are also more likely to be stressed. Stress and autopilot are linked because when we are on autopilot, we are much more likely to act out unhelpful or even damaging patterns of behaviour. In other words, we react instead of respond to challenging experiences in our life. Mindfulness helps us to become aware of these habitual patterns and gives us a choice to change how we relate to challenging experiences. It’s not about taking stress away or hoping to live a life without any stress, but rather fundamentally changing how we relate to the things we experience.

On the other hand, many of us spend much of our time living in our heads. We live in a kind of virtual reality consisting of thoughts and inner dialogue, and thoughts tend to relate either to the past or to the future. Mindfulness helps us to learn how to return to the present and to what’s actually happening rather than our perceptions of what’s happening, which are often inaccurate. We practice it by cultivating greater somatic awareness — that is, awareness of the body, because the body is always in the present moment.

Ultimately, the more we practice Mindfulness and observe the changing nature of experience, the more we may begin to sense that what we previously thought of as being tangible and solid, such as our sense of self, is actually quite transitory and ephemeral. We may begin to understand what lies beyond objects arising in awareness such as sensations, thoughts, and emotions. We may begin to experience awareness itself. This is an extremely significant moment in practice and in life, when we start to experience ourselves as something greater than what we observe and our sense of being the observer.

In Mindfulness, attention generaly focuses on one object (such as the breath, sensations in the body, thoughts, or emotions), exploring it with a sense of curiosity and interest. Another way Mindfulness can be practiced is through Open Monitoring or Open Awareness, where no particular object of experience is selected and there is an openness to all that is unfolding within awareness. Here too, however, as various objects pass through awareness, attention is often paid to each object in a narrowly focused wa

What Is Open Focus?

Open Focus is the name of an attention training program created by Dr. Lester Fehmi, a neuroscientist and psychologist from Princeton University. Dr. Fehmi found that once our whole brain activity becomes more synchronous in alpha frequency, our mental and physical health improves. He created a series of mind exercises that help to cultivate this brainwave pattern, and he designed a neurofeedback EEG machine that can detect it.

On the basis of his findings, Dr. Fehmi developed The Four Attention Styles theory, which describes four different ways we can pay attention, and relates these styles to brain physiology.

According to Dr Fehmi, pain, stress, anxiety, and other challenges make our attention narrow and objective. It is natural to narrow our attention (focus) on pain or a problem in order to deal with it efficiently, but most people overuse this style in everyday life. They are unaware that it keeps them in continuous ‘fight or flight’ mode (see this post). Moreover, habitual focusing creates an impression that the reality consists of separated objects, since we can focus on only one thing at a time, leaving the rest outside of our focus. It can make us feel distant, alienated, and lonely.

Dr. Fehmi says we can begin relating to what’s difficult in a more balanced, accepting way by diffusing our attention. Diffusing allows us to see the big picture and connect (immerse) with its elements. It helps to realign with the world and to create healthy relationships. This style is linked to the ‘rest and digest’ part of our physiology and makes the whole brain activity more synchronous in alpha frequency, which can be confirmed by Dr. Fehmi’s machine (see graph below).

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Dr. Fehmi suggests everyone’s attention should be flexible, meaning that you can alternate between ‘narrow and objective’ and ‘diffused and immersed’ styles of attention or balance all at the same time. Dr. Fehmi says that the way we pay attention is directly linked to our well-being. Once you are able to balance your attention, you can positively influence your mind and body.

During Open Focus training, we practice diffusing by becoming simultaneously aware of many objects. The object can be everything you can focus on, like a physical object, a sound, a taste, a thought, a feeling, a sensation from the body, etc. Then you can progress to awareness of the space between objects, like the space between physical objects, the silence between sounds, or the breaks between thoughts, etc. Finally, you become aware of space between and inside objects which, according to Dr. Fehmi, helps us achieve diffused and immersed style. In this style of attending, all objects (including yourself) dissolve in space and you immerse with reality, becoming fully connected.

Are Mindfulness and Open Focus Complementary?

Open Focus and Mindfulness are not distinct and competing practices but rather highly complementary.

Mindfulness helps us to learn to pay attention to our experience and to notice how we are relating to it. Open Focus then builds upon the benefits and skills of Mindfulness by training us not just to pay attention, but to be more aware of how we are paying attention and to be more flexible in our attention styles.

We then have the benefits of two complementary practices available to us: learning to pay attention and being flexible in how we pay attention. We could say that Mindfulness is an excellent foundation for Open Focus training and that Open Focus helps us to get the most from Mindfulness training.

What Can Open Focus Offer Mindfulness?

As mentioned, much Mindfulness practice is based on a narrow way of paying attention (that is, we are focused on one object). Although it is useful in helping us to be more aware of what is happening in the moment, overusing this style may lead to tightness and overexertion in unexperienced practitioners, since many people think they have a choice of staying watchful (mindful) of what is happening, or they slip into daydreaming. They keep trying harder and it makes them exhausted and it sometimes leads to frustration and disappointment.

We therefore propose that Open Focus can bring to Mindfulness the idea of paying attention in the diffused style and the concept of attention flexibility.

Mindfulness practitioners who learn how to diffuse their attention may find that it helps them to progress. There are several reason for this.

The diffused attention style tends to quickly quiet internal chatter. For example, it is sometimes enough to become aware of sensations coming from both hands and at the same time to sense peace and calmness of the mind. It is because synchronous alpha brain waves play a top-down inhibitory role in the brain network. The quiet mind makes observing without judgment much easier.

In diffused attention style, you do not redirect your attention from one object to another, but  rather redistribute it between many objects, which are attended at the same time. The only way to do it is to attend objects in a very soft (less rigid, relaxed) way. This skill can then be used in everyday life. For example, you can stay continuously aware of breathing while listening to someone talking to you and there is no struggle between competing objects in your awareness. It helps to continuously sense the present moment and it has very practical applications (see this post).

It is important to note that in this style, one of the objects you pay attention to could be your daydreaming. Including daydreaming into the diffused attention helps to reduce struggle with it during practice. It is possible (and quite easy) to accept daydreaming as one of many objects you pay attention to (see this post). It can be easily extended to everyday life and it helps to stay present.

In order to become fully aware of the world, it can be helpful to cultivate a more diffused than focused attention style. Focused attention requires one to cut off a lot of what is really happening around us and it restricts experience to a narrow stream of sensations. In the diffused attention style, you are aware of the object and its background (see this post). This may broaden the perspective, helping to put things into context. It may also help to disable an autopilot and develop one’s ability to respond as opposite to reacting.

 As mentioned previously, Open Focus exercises cultivate an awareness of space around and inside objects. Once a practitioner is aware of space inside the object, it may become softer, lighter, and easier to be with and observe (for example when we attend an unwanted emotion). By switching to a diffused attention style, the difficulty may be diluted by a broader spectrum of attention. This could be likened to putting a teaspoon of salt in an egg cup filled with water and tasting it — the water would taste very salty. If the same teaspoon of salt were put in a swimming pool, it would be difficult to taste the salt. Mindfulness enables us to be aware that there is salt in the water, but Open Focus allows us to experience the salt in the context of the swimming pool rather than the egg cup!

The diffused and immersed attention style helps to dissolve objects like pain or unwanted feelings. Mindfulness practitioners are sometimes encouraged to bring attention to an ache in the back and to observe how this ache feels, exploring how it would be to allow the ache to be there. In Open Focus, they might feel the ache but at the same time feel the space around and in the ache together with the space in the room. In addition, they might imagine that we are part of the ache itself, allowing themselves to become immersed in the ache. This sometimes makes the pain or feeling softer, blurred with its background, and then it may naturally and effortlessly dissolve. The dissolving pain and unwanted feelings process is well documented in Dr Fehmi’s book.

Conclusion

Mindfulness teaches us to pay attention to our experiences so that we can interrupt habitual patterns of relating to ourselves and the world that may not be helpful for us. Open Focus enhances Mindfulness practice by teaching us not just to pay attention, but to bring more awareness to how we are paying attention.

As this article has demonstrated, these are two highly complementary and mutually reinforcing practices. Ultimately, with both we can learn to be present and be flexible in how we are present, after which we may uncover an unlimited sense of peace and love that lies beneath the ‘noise’ that we are usually confronted with and try to suppress.

In scientific terms, this may be regarded as homeostasis; in more spiritual language, this may be regarded as revealing our true nature or higher self. These practices may lead us to fulfil our personal and evolutionary potential and to live lives with grace and ease.

How You Can Try Mindfulness and Open Focus

We could write a lot but more about Mindfulness and Open Focus, but the best way to know them is to feel them!

You can try some good Mindfulness exercises here: Breathing Into Being, Taking In The Good, Self Compassion.

There is a choice of Open Focus exercises on Dr Fehmi’s and Tomasz’s website (the main difference is that most of Tomasz’s exercises are shorter and they are designed to introduce diffusing and to bring a quick and noticeable experience).

 MOF

This article was written with Mrs. Sarah Gulland a Mindfulness teacher who works from London, Guildford and Sussex.

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Consciousness

The Leaderless Movement (Documentary)

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    A documentary entitled 'The Leaderless Movement' covers a rally of 7000 people at Parliament Hill in Ottawa on August 29th, 2020 challenging Covid measures and other instances of government deception and overreach.

  • Reflect On:

    Are we seeing signs that the 'Great Awakening' of humanity has begun?

Ten days ago I swapped my writer’s pen for a video camera and drove off to Ottawa to document a rally on Parliament Hill that brought 7000 people together to challenge the Covid narrative and other issues involving government deception, overreach, and tyranny.

This is being called a ‘leaderless’ movement due to the awareness on the part of the organizers that humanity as a whole needs to be deprogrammed out of blindly trusting and following ANY leaders, and individuals need to step up and establish their own personal sovereignty.

Ottawa provides a microcosm of the way people all over the world are breaking down old divisions and uniting under a common cause. The rally on Parliament Hill saw a coming together and mutual respect between the English, French, and First Nations.

Meeting with the brave and wonderful people who worked together to organize this event confirmed my belief that we are seeing the beginnings of the great awakening of humanity unfolding before our eyes. The next big rally in Canada is in Montreal on September 12th where organizers say they are expecting 40,000 people to attend.

This article was originally posted at daocoaching.com.

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Collective Evolution is one of the world's fastest-growing conscious media and education companies providing news and tools to raise collective consciousness. Get inside access to Collective Evolution by becoming a member of CETV.

Stream content 24/7 and enjoy mind-expanding interviews, original shows, documentaries and guided programs.

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