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The Marriage Trap: How To Deal With Society Pressuring You to Get Married

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When I was younger, I would think about the concept of marriage and get overwhelmed with emotions: excitement for the potential to find my soulmate and to share my life with that person, fear of knowing that this may never happen, and panic in considering what legally binding myself to another person truly means. As a child, I simply assumed I’d get married, because that’s what society considers “normal.” As I got older, my perception changed and I started noticing that most of my peers shared one thing in common: All of them wanted to get married. This seemed backwards to me, as I couldn’t possibly know if I wanted to get married before I met someone I wanted to be with forever. Marriage has become a social norm; society expects you to get married and to do so before the age of 30 (sometimes even younger depending on what culture you’re from). This belief system puts significant pressure on couples, creating “the marriage trap.”

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How Marriage Became a Social Norm

When it all boils down, marriage is a legal contract. By choosing to marry your partner, you are legally required to be committed to that individual and typically to share your assets. Contracts are usually made for a limited time period and designed with an “if you do this… then I will do this…” mentality. If your relationship is so strong that you know, deep down, that you will be with your partner for the rest of your life, then why should you require a binding contract to verify your bond?

According to the American Psychological Association, 90% of people in Western societies get married before the age of 50. A shocking 86% of young people in the U.S. believe that when they get married, it will be for life (literally, “until death do us part”). Many may view this number as high, but I perceive it to be surprisingly low. If you’re about to commit to being in a relationship for your entire life, shouldn’t you be 100% positive it will last forever? In Western societies, people between the ages of 25 and 35 are heavily pressured to get married and have kids. People seem to be more concerned about accomplishing this goal than they are about potentially marrying the wrong person. It’s no wonder approximately half of the married couples in the U.S. end up divorced.

What is the Marriage Trap? 

If you’ve already decided that you will get married in the future, you’re willingly creating expectations about your present and/or future partner. You could currently be with the “right person,” but because you’ve constructed a timeline for your relationship (when and if you want to get married, have kids, etc.), you’re putting added stress on your partner and yourself. Society will also pressure you into marrying your partner after you’ve been together for a certain length of time. If you’re not married within that timeframe, people assume there’s something wrong with your relationship. The weight of all of these expectations can make couples feel like they’re approaching an ultimatum, forcing them to choose between getting married or breaking up. If you’ve felt these societal pressures or you’re struggling to decide whether or not to marry your partner, you may have been sucked into the marriage trap.

How People Typically Decide Whether or Not to Get Married:

  1. Allowing your partner to make the decision: the easiest way to avoid your feelings.
  2. Letting love guide you: If you’re referring to self love, then that’s perfect. However, if you’re assuming that your love for an individual will fix all of your problems, you have a problem.
  3. Fear: of losing that person if you decide you don’t want to get married, of what others will think of you if you don’t get married, or of eventually growing apart from your partner instead of together.
  4. Ego: Your ego says you need to get married because society tells you to do so, allowing societal pressures to force you into an unwanted relationship.
  5. Physical attraction: A strong sex drive doesn’t always equate to love.
  6. Intuition: Following your gut can often provide incredible insights; however, if you’re not self-aware it may be difficult for you to listen to guidance from your Higher Self.
  7. Brain: Your brain may convince you you’re in love with someone, when you’re actually in love with the idea of that person. Just because your partner checks off all of the appropriate “boxes” you used to theorize your ideal partner, doesn’t mean you’re in love with them either.
  8. Biological clock: It’s typically easier for women to conceive before the age of 40, so they’ll often have biological children with the wrong mate instead of adopting children or taking the risk of not having children with the right person.
  9. Comparing your partner to other people: One study found that our dating choices are “98% a response to market conditions and just 2% immutable desires. Proposals to date tall, short, fat, thin, professional, clerical, educated, educated, uneducated people are all more than nine-tenths governed by what’s on offer that night.” This essentially means that most people will choose a partner by comparing them to other potential partners instead of truly following their heart.

What We Can Learn From the Marriage Trap

One study found that being married is 20 times more important to a person’s well-being than their income and 13 times more important than owning a house. That same study found that marriage makes people happier than religion and money. Although marriage has the power to form a strong, loving bond between two people and provide them with happiness, I don’t think that’s the underlying message we should take from these studies.

I would argue that it’s simply love that’s making these people happy and that they can find that same love within themselves, even if they’re single. Ultimately, it all comes down to self-awareness and self-love. You need to know yourself and love yourself before you can fully love another. Once you develop more self-love and a deeper understanding of your fundamental needs as an individual and in a partner, you’ll be prepared to choose a life partner (if you even want one).

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I’m not suggesting you should never get married, nor am I against monogamy. I’m simply saying you should avoid setting unrealistic expectations for yourself and others and that you need to look within instead of outwards before making “the marriage decision.” Many people view marriage and love as synonymous and they forget that they can fuel that same love within themselves; you don’t need to be married to be happy and feel love. However, more and more people are realizing this and choosing not to get married. This begs the question, are we meant to be with only one person for the rest of our lives? I don’t think there’s a clear answer to this question because it differs for every person. The only thing I believe to remain true is that regardless of whether you’re single or in a relationship, you have the ability to find everlasting love within yourself.

“The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.”

– Rumi

Related CE articles:

To Marry Or Not To Marry? A Photoshoot Of Couple For 57 Years Will Melt Your Heart

Are Humans Meant To Have Sex With Only One Person During A Relationship? Why Do We Cheat On The Ones We Love?

Are We Really Meant To Be Monogamous? The Reason Why We Cheat On The People We Love & How To Make Any Relationship WORK

10 Reasons To Love Being Single

Touching Video Reveals The Only Reason We’re Alive

Inspired by: The Marriage Decision: Everything Forever or Nothing Ever Again on Wait But Why

Free David Wilcock Screening: Disclosure & The Fall of the Cabal

We interviewed David about what is happening within the cabal and disclosure. He shared some incredible insight that is insanely relevant to today.

So far, the response to this interview has been off the charts as people are calling it the most concise update of what's happening in our world today.

Watch the interview here.
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Consciousness

5 Brutally Honest Truths About Anxiety You Need To Accept Before You Can Overcome It

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Anxiety impacts an estimated 10% of teenagers and 40% of adults in the United States. While there are countless techniques that can help with overcoming it, there are 5 key mental shifts that can drastically assist in the process of overcoming it.

  • Reflect On:

    What beliefs do you hold about anxiety? Whether it currently impacts you or a loved one, how can you look at it in a more healthy way?

As a former severe anxiety sufferer, I beyond sympathize with those of you that are still entrenched in the unpredictable, overwhelming and oftentimes flat out scary experience that is anxiety.

For several years, anxiety was my unwanted sidekick that at its peak not only prevented me from properly eating and sleeping, but convinced me that I would never again be able to live another minute of my life without it. But as the restless nights, unhealthy thoughts, and panic attacks continued to mount, I eventually reached a point where I knew that the reality I was experiencing simply wasn’t sustainable.

I personally committed to seek out every resource I could to learn and apply in hopes of conquering anxiety without the use of medication -since the side effects always have and continue to terrify me. While much of what I came across simply didn’t work, there also was a great deal that did. But more than anything, what surprised me about my journey was how much of it was rooted in how I perceived and approached the mental health condition that impacts an estimated 10% of teenagers and 40% of adults in the United States.

Here are 5 brutally honest truths about anxiety that I believe you need to accept before you can successfully overcome it for good:

1. It cannot be “cured” overnight

While there are a number of techniques that can help stop or at the very least dramatically weaken an anxiety attack when it strikes, anxiety as a whole cannot be conquered in a day. Every tool that proved itself as effective in not only conquering my own anxiety, but the anxiety of dozens of others I’ve had to the opportunity to work with, took persistence to properly apply.

For example, practices such as the emotional freedom technique (aka tapping) can be powerful at sending signals to a number of critical acupressure points on your body to help calm yourself down, but learning to do it properly takes time. So if you’re serious about eradicating anxiety from your life, be ready to put the work in.

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Helpful note: If long-term solutions seem daunting and/or impossible to you, remind yourself that continuing to live your life with anxiety as prevalent as it is doesn’t feel any better. This mental shift helped inspire me on countless occasions to continue to practice what I needed to master.

2. Hiding it never helps

While much of the taboo surrounding mental health is thankfully dissipating by the day, it still amazes me how many of us opt to keep our experience to ourselves. Whether it be fuelled by embarrassment, fear, or an inability to explain it, there are far too many of us who never admit what we’re going through and therefore are left to fend for ourselves.

One of the best decisions I ever made was being completely open with those closest to me -even with my mom whose overwhelming worry only seemed to make things worse. Given the unpredictable nature to anxiety, you need to have the freedom to do what you need to do to deal with it, and one of the only ways that becomes possible is to ensure those you are closest to know what’s going on.

3. But neither does over-identifying with it

I’ll be honest, one of the most challenging aspects to working with those with anxiety ever since I opened myself up to that world is the number of people who rightfully hate it, but wear it like a badge. I so desperately want to help anyone and everyone that I can, but that’s so often halted by the roadblock of believing it’s a cemented part of us that we are a victim to.

Rather than dwelling in victimhood, choose to take responsibility for your anxiety. I can say from experience that you’ll begin to actually deal with it much quicker.

4. No matter how intense it can get, every bout with anxiety has an end

When fully engaged, an anxiety or panic attack can often feel like it’s going to last forever. The truth is, in my experience and in the experience of talking to several others, it can’t… your body simply wouldn’t allow it.

The actual panic itself is often very short lived, it’s the reaction to it that we have a tendency to let linger. Remind yourself that what you resist, persists. Why? Because you’re communicating with it that you still have something to gain and fully go through by it being there. What you accept takes its course, finds its limit and moves on. By accepting the anxiety’s existence, you allow it to become as big as it can (which often isn’t as big as our fear of it tends to make us feel that it will be), it sees how limited its power is -in a body emanating acceptance of the experience -and it begins to pass.

Helpful note: Boost your confidence in this by reflecting on every other experience with severe anxiety you’ve had in the past. Have any of them lasted forever? This simple reflection should help to provide your mind with mental proof that this too shall pass.

 5. It’s not about getting rid of anxiety, it’s about overcoming your fear of it

A lot of people ask me how I can confidently say that I’m now anxiety free. And the truth is, in a traditional sense I can’t. Anxiety, and everything it previously used to trigger me into it, still rears its ugly head from time to time, but the difference lies in how I react to it.

Rather than allowing it to lock me up in a state of fear of where it’s going to take me and for how long, I now choose to ground myself in the knowing that I am bigger than it. So when it comes to overcoming anxiety, I find it’s incredibly helpful to know that it’s not about reaching a state where it never comes up at all, but is instead about strengthening the aspects to yourself that make you no longer susceptible to it.

It can be compared to the process of quitting smoking. Even after you quit, cigarettes will not cease to exist. They will instead be just as easily accessible as they were when you were smoking a pack a day. The difference lies in how you react to the temptations of it. The more you say “no”, the less likely it is to ever even bother coming into your conscious attention since it knows it won’t get anywhere even if it tries.


Feeling inspired to conquer your anxiety? For taking the time to read this article I’d like to give you lifetime access to my course The Hack Anxiety Toolbox for ONLY $10. The course is filled with over 15 instructional videos and a number of other resources all designed to share with you everything I used to not only conquer my own anxiety but to help others move beyond theirs as well. Use the coupon code ANXIETY_FREE10 to access the course for only $10 today!

Free David Wilcock Screening: Disclosure & The Fall of the Cabal

We interviewed David about what is happening within the cabal and disclosure. He shared some incredible insight that is insanely relevant to today.

So far, the response to this interview has been off the charts as people are calling it the most concise update of what's happening in our world today.

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Consciousness

Stanislav Grof On The Healing Potential Of Non-Ordinary States Of Consciousness

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Many believe that Non-Ordinary states of consciousness have the capacity to heal those who are suffering. These states of consciousness can be accessed in a number of ways.

  • Reflect On:

    In most culture, except in western industrial society, these states are revered with high regard. How often do you practice exploring different states of consciousness through meditation or breathwork?

Stanislav Grof is a psychiatrist with over 60 years of experience in research of non-ordinary states of consciousness. Non-ordinary meaning something that is different from your typical waking consciousness and according to Grof, these states can be reached with the use of psychedelic substances, trance-inducing states or Holotropic Breathwork.

All of which can trigger an experience that has the potential to unlock a new level of insight and awareness into one’s own consciousness.

Grof’s early research in the clinical uses of psychedelic substances was conducted at the Psychiatric Research Institute in Prague, this research focused on the healing potential of LSD and other psychedelic substances. In 1969, Grof became Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at the John Hopkins University and continued his research as Chief of Psychiatric Research at the Maryland Psychiatric Research Center in Catonsville, MD.

As Grof says in the video below, “The Western industrial civilization is the only group in the entire human history that doesn’t hold non-ordinary states in great esteem and doesn’t have any use for them, actually has pathologized them. Every other culture has spent a lot of time and a lot of energy trying to develop ways of inducing non-ordinary states.”

Why Are We Disconnected From These States Of Consciousness?

One might wonder why this westernized society seems to be so disconnected from understanding the potential that unlocking these non-ordinary states can hold, but regardless of how this system is designed, many are finding ways to experience these states. We explore them by taking plant medicines such as ayahuasca, listening to trance-inducing music, participating in drum circles, going into sweat lodges, holotropic breathwork and many other modalities that we indeed have access to.

It would seem that regardless of what the status quo is in this westernized version of the world there is something that resides deep within us that seeks out these non-ordinary states in order to get outside of ourselves and have a new experience, that which can bring new levels of insight and awareness to anyone who is willing to try one or more of these states out for themselves.

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But what is it about these states of consciousness that can cause such great healing for so many people? There are many theories about this, but we have seen a ton of research from the John Hopkins University and organizations such as the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS) that proves that this healing capacity is real. From treating anxiety, depression, addiction, PTSD, and deep-rooted trauma, it is clear to see that these substances do have the capacity to heal a variety of different ailments.

Grof is an expert in this realm, and in the following video interview, he shares exactly why he feels that there is great healing potential in the Non-Ordinary States of consciousness, check it out.

Much Love

Free David Wilcock Screening: Disclosure & The Fall of the Cabal

We interviewed David about what is happening within the cabal and disclosure. He shared some incredible insight that is insanely relevant to today.

So far, the response to this interview has been off the charts as people are calling it the most concise update of what's happening in our world today.

Watch the interview here.
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Consciousness

Why Humanity Is So Obsessed With Finding Aliens Right Now

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Behind closed doors, quietly, billions are researching and trying to learn about the reality of aliens. It is one of the biggest topics being explored by humanity right now and there is a deep reason for this.

  • Reflect On:

    Why are we so enthralled by the reality of ET life? What would happen to our consciousness if we learned they were real and that there were millions of races? How would daily life change?

The biggest secret behind why ET and UFO disclosure has been suppressed is something that isn’t discussed all that much. We typically hear about things like technology suppression, specifically energy systems. How do these crafts get here? What propulsion systems do they use? These questions lead people towards the reality that the technologies of UFO craft ultimately would disrupt our fossil fuel energy oligarchy so much that it would also collapse our economies in some ways.

Of course, this would not be such a bad thing. Why? Because when you consider that this would mean having endless and ‘free’ energy, cost for goods would drop dramatically. Not just that but, when you begin to examine the ease in creating systems based around abundance, it becomes incredible to consider what is truly possible.

An endless supply of food grown locally, everywhere! Endless energy, installed everywhere! Cars and building facilities that do not create pollution. We could essentially live in a society built such that we do not need to be enslaved by money or debt because abundance would simply become a natural happening of a society built with abundant technology, that’s harmonious, in place.

We can all see the value of such disclosures, and the reason why this would be covered but. But there is something even deeper.

The Biggest Secret

The question is, if we know these technologies exist, and they are being suppressed. And if we know that whistleblowers and people have already reverse engineered or built these things, and not all have been killed or threatened, what is the reason why these things are held back? Why do we still deny these realities en masse?

The truth is, it comes down to consciousness. We’ve been saying this since the inception of CE in 2009: solutions are there, but they won’t come until humanity is ready. What does this ACTUALLY mean to be ready? It means growing up enough as a race, that we can actually be responsible for what it is we will have access to. Not just that, but to be able to say we have ‘graduated’ in a sense, to say we are beyond our old ways.

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While that sounds like a loaded few sentences, and they are in a sense, all that is really being said here is, humanity has been stuck in a cycle of experience where we continually see everything, and everyone as separate from us. We are individuals, living out our identities and lives and we are simply here to survive. We believe the limiting ideas of what our reality is and should be and thus we create that reality consciously. Our collective belief about how our world should be is directly tied to what actually happens.

But there is this feeling deep within us at this time, and I know you feel it, where we are beginning to deeply question our ways. How we treat one another, our political systems, the elite manipulation and control that exists, the existential reality of who we are and how we are truly just consciousness, all connected. These deep questions are asking us to explore who we truly are and why we are truly here. And many of us are doing so. This is beginning to create instability and change in our system because the consciousness that holds up our old world, is beginning to crack, and a new one is emerging.

It’s On Us

As our consciousness continues to shift, through us truly doing our own questioning, changing our own patterns, habits, thoughts, and actions, we will begin to truly create the solutions necessary to create a world where we can thrive. And disclosure of technologies will come forth. It comes down to US having to do this work, not governments, not someone else coming to save us. It’s about creating an entire populace with the mentality of truly being empowered and self-responsible, as opposed to needed governance and feeling helpless.

This is why the greatest reason why ET reality is so suppressed comes down to consciousness because with an introduction to ET life, comes an entire myriad of experience we have not been exposed to.

In the video below I explain what this means deeply, and how we can begin opening up the doors to mass contact with ET’s.

Free David Wilcock Screening: Disclosure & The Fall of the Cabal

We interviewed David about what is happening within the cabal and disclosure. He shared some incredible insight that is insanely relevant to today.

So far, the response to this interview has been off the charts as people are calling it the most concise update of what's happening in our world today.

Watch the interview here.
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