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Pornography: How Much Is Too Much?

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In today’s increasingly digital world, pornography is ubiquitous. And every time the affordability, accessibility, and variety of online porn increases, therapists who specialize in sexual disorders, such as myself, see a corresponding increase in the number of people seeking help with out-of-control usage. That said, there are several categories of people who struggle with porn. Many of these individuals are porn-addicted, though certainly not all, and even those who qualify as addicted may fall into different groups.

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Are You Addicted to Porn?

To qualify as an addiction, porn use must meet the following three criteria:

  • Preoccupation to the point of obsession with pornography
  • Loss of control over usage, most often evidenced by failed attempts to quit or cut back
  • Negative consequences related to porn use — ruined relationships, trouble at work or in school, depression, anxiety, isolation, loss of interest in non-sexual activities, financial issues, legal issues, loss of social standing, sexual dysfunction, etc.

Individuals who do not meet the above criteria are not porn addicted. They might still be troubled by their use of pornography, but usually this is based more on social shame than anything else.

Sometimes socially shamed porn users will self-identify as porn addicted even though they’re not, using addiction as a way to explain their unwanted sexual attractions and/or activities. For instance, a 19-year-old male may feel shame about his use of gay porn, which he looks at several times per week for 15 or 20 minutes (long enough to masturbate). Although his day-to-day functioning is unaffected by his porn use, he might be depressed and anxious. In therapy, this client should not be treated for porn addiction. Instead, he should be treated for the ego-dystonia he feels surrounding his sexual orientation. In short, a good therapist would focus on helping this young man overcome the shame he feels about being gay (or possibly bisexual) rather than on stopping his (relatively minimal) porn usage.

Other individuals who are not addicted to porn might be told they are by angry family members, moralistic therapists, and/or misinformed religious counsellors. For instance, a married 35-year-old man with a strict religious belief system may look at porn once or twice per week for half an hour with no ill effects other than his wife knows about it and doesn’t like it. However, when he goes to his pastor for advice, he might be labelled as porn addicted because why else would he engage in such sinful behavior. In reality, this man is not a porn addict, and an informed therapist would not treat him as such. Instead, a good therapist would help him reconcile his sexual life with his personal values, family circumstances, and religious beliefs.

Whether a porn user’s shame is internally or externally motivated, these individuals come to therapy worried about pornography, often to the point where they are clinically depressed and/or anxious. Generally, they are unhappy about their sexual fantasies and the ways in which they’re living them out. Plus, they’re keeping secrets, telling lies, and living a double life. But, once again, this does not automatically mean these people are porn addicted. Certainly they could be porn addicted, but only if their behaviour meets the criteria listed above.

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Of course, the majority of people who enter treatment for porn-related issues do qualify as addicted. Typically they’re looking at porn compulsively for multiple hours per day, they’ve tried and failed to quit or cut back (usually many times), and their lives are falling apart as a result. In short, they look a lot like alcoholics, drug addicts, compulsive gamblers, and other addicts. The only real difference is their “drug of choice.”

Classic vs. Contemporary Porn Addicts

Until the last few years, that was the entirety of the porn addicted population. People were going online and getting hooked on an ever increasing and constantly changing supply of intensely stimulating sexual imagery, using it to numb out and to escape emotional discomfort. (This ongoing desire for numbness and emotional escape is also why alcoholics drink, drug addicts use, compulsive gamblers place bets, etc. In other words, addictions are not about feeling good, they’re about feeling less.) Lately, however, therapists have identified a secondary population of porn addicts, mostly young males, who are using porn compulsively not to escape stress, anxiety, depression, and other forms of emotional discomfort but because they’ve become “conditioned” to the sexual intensity and variety that only pornography can provide. Thus, sex addiction treatment specialists are now seeing “classic” porn addicts and “contemporary” porn addicts.

Classic porn addicts, like most other addicts, generally present in treatment with extensive early-life trauma histories (abuse, neglect, addiction in the home, inconsistent parenting, and numerous other forms of family dysfunction). When these men and women are motivated to heal, standard sexual addiction treatment is generally effective, though establishing and maintaining sexual sobriety tends to be a significant struggle with two steps forward, one and a half steps back, just as we see with other forms of addiction.

A typical classic porn addict is a 28-year-old male who has been looking at porn 10, 20, or maybe even 30 hours per week, ongoing for many months or even years. Thanks to porn, his life is falling apart. He’s been reprimanded for using company equipment to look at porn, he can’t manage a relationship, he’s socially isolated from his family and friends, and he’s very depressed. And whatever he tries, he can’t seem to stop using porn. He quits for a day or two, but then he feels stressed out, and suddenly he’s right back at it. He tells himself he’ll only go online for a few minutes, but four hours later he’s still glued to his screen.

Contemporary porn addicts tend to be less stress and trauma driven. These individuals generally start using porn early on, sometimes even pre-adolescence, simply because it’s available and it seems like a fun thing to do. As adolescence progresses and they become more sexually interested, they continue with porn, using it more often over time. Because “getting their needs met” online is easier (less stressful and less emotionally demanding) than engaging in real world forms of adolescent romantic and sexual development, they continually turn to porn, sexting, and the like rather than more traditional forms of exploration. Then they wake up in their late teens or their twenties, hooked on pornography, with no clue how to have an actual relationship because they never learned the basics.

A typical contemporary porn addict is a 20-year-old male who started looking at porn when he was 12, just as puberty was kicking in. By age 14 he is using porn nightly. By age 15 he’s quit sports and clubs, preferring to spend his time alone, looking at and masturbating to pornography. His once-good grades are terrible, he’s lost contact with his friends, and he’s never dated. Now, at 20, he’s depressed, anxious, and ashamed about his life. He wants to do better in school and he wants to have friends and a normal romantic relationship, but he doesn’t know how to make any of that happen. So he sticks with what he knows: the endless intensity of online pornography.

Interestingly, both types of porn addiction require the basics of sex addiction treatment — most often a combination of cognitive behavioral therapy, ongoing accountability, social learning, and external support groups (especially 12-step groups like Sex Addicts Anonymous). The primary difference between the two cohorts is that contemporary porn addicts, because they typically lack the early-life trauma history of classic addicts, seem to find it easier to walk away from porn. (This is because they’re not constantly trying to escape the unresolved trauma of their childhood.) Moreover, when contemporary porn addicts do walk away, many of their porn-related problems dissipate rather quickly, particularly if/when they replace their porn use with healthy socialization and recreation. So once a contemporary porn addict has put the porn away, therapists will work to rectify aspects of delayed social development rather than on resolving early-life trauma issues.

If you need help for sexual addiction, treatment referrals can be found here. I also conduct a free, open-ended discussion about sex addiction at InTheRooms.com, Friday nights at 6 p.m. PST.

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Anderson Cooper Caught Spreading Fake Information & Lying About Vaccines Live On CNN

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    A clip of Anderson Cooper making very weak arguments in support of Mercury inside of vaccines. Each point he makes is not really correct and can be countered with actual science, which is outlined within the article. Mercury is clearly a big concern.

  • Reflect On:

    Why are there no studies demonstrating that mercury is safe to inject into a child? Why has it simply been presumed safe? Why are there well over 100 studies showing that it's not safe to inject? What is going on here?

Most people probably aren’t surprised at the title of this headline. It’s become commonplace to hear about problems with pharmaceutical products, but when it comes to vaccines, many people are still unaware of the potential side effects. Much of the concern around vaccines has to do with the ingredients, many of which have been added to vaccines for multiple decades without any safety testing and have simply been presumed safe. This is easy for big pharma to do, given that they are often exempt from any responsibility or being held liable for someone who has a bad reaction to their product. They are protected, which allows them to be careless with their product.

This is why when I came across a clip of Anderson Cooper on CNN spreading false information, I thought it would be great to illustrate how false news, an anchor speaking about a topic without providing any sources, can easily be believed by the masses and taken as fact. The person he is interviewing is not really equipped to respond or reply appropriately.

Sure, it’s from 2015, but it’s still very relevant today.

It’s strange how anybody even has mainstream media ‘on’ these days. Relying on your T.V. for information is ironically why so many people become misinformed, as it’s best to do your own independent research. Given the amount of traffic alternative media sites have received over the past ten years, it’s quite clear that people are looking for other sources of information. Many eyes have veered away from mainstream media and into alternative media outlets, which shows we’ve come a long way.

If you want to look for alternative media and other sources of information,  it’s unfortunately becoming more and more difficult. The corporate/financial elite recognized the rise in alternative news, and as a result they’ve put in place a ‘ministry of truth’ (Orwell, 1984) to determine what information is fake and what information is real.  For example, News browser extension NewsGuard promises to help readers pick out fake news, and it’s funded and run by individuals tied to the Council on Foreign Relations (CFR), Atlantic Council and other prominent elite groups. You can read more about that in detail here.

This is terrible. People should be allowed to decide for themselves what is real and what is not, and they should be allowed to examine the sources used and utilize their own brains.

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It seems that these people, whoever they are, want to do our thinking for us.

William Arkin, a well-known military and war reporter who is best known for his groundbreaking, three-part Washington Post series in 2010, has gone public outing NBC/MSNBC as government run agencies. You can read more about that hereHere you can access declassified documents and read more about mainstream media’s connection to intelligence agencies and how they influence mainstream media and even academia. Here are 50 facts about the CIA and mainstream media, and here is a clip of an award winning mainstream media journalist telling us the same thing.

As James F. Tracy, a former professor of communications at Florida Atlantic University, emphasizes:

Since the end of World War Two the Central Intelligence Agency has been a major force in US and foreign news media, exerting considerable influence over what the public sees, hears and reads on a regular basis. CIA publicists and journalists alike will assert they have few, if any, relationships, yet the seldom acknowledged history of their intimate collaboration indicates a far different story–indeed, one that media historians are reluctant to examine.

When it comes to Anderson Cooper, some have speculated he is working directly for US intelligence agencies. Even if a mainstream anchor is unaware of this, and is employed by the network, they are ‘loosely’ employed by intelligence agencies, outlined by the documents/articles linked above. It’s easy to see why many would think this of Anderson Cooper, especially since he was an  intern at the CIA while completing his undergrad at Yale University. Furthermore, his uncle, William Henry Vanderbilt III, was an Executive Officer of the Special Operations Branch of the OSS under the spy organization’s founder, William “Wild Bill” Donovan.  He also reached the rank of captain in the navy during WW2. (Source)

All of the information above is important to consider when you’re examining mainstream media. It makes it more understandable why they lie so much, and why they are fighting hard to shut down the voices of any opposition.

You can watch the full clip below.

A proper response to Anderson’s comments

Can you tell me the name of any of these scientists who claim this because they go against, what, every study? I mean the CDC says this, Institutes of Health, all these studies say you’re just wrong.

This was Anderson’s response to the comment by former U.S. Congressman Dan Burton regarding mercury in vaccines.

What Anderson says is a complete lie, as his claim that mercury in vaccines is dangerous does not go against “every study.”

In fact, his logic is completely backwards, because there is actually not one study showing that it’s safe to inject mercury into people, let alone little infants whose organs haven’t fully developed yet.  Mercury is one of the most toxic substances known to man, it shouldn’t be a debate, yet it’s presented as one on mainstream media. As a result of this kind of presentation, it becomes a debatable topic within the mainstream, inside of homes, etc. This is pure brainwashing that’s occurring by utilizing false statements that everybody seems to take at face value.

Modern-day scientists have been amassing evidence of mercury’s toxicity for decades, with a growing focus in recent years on the metal’s association with neurodevelopmental disorders, including autism spectrum disorder (ASD). A new review in the multidisciplinary journal Environmental Research pulls together a wide body of literature with the aim of summing up current research and emerging trends in mercury toxicology. Geir Bjørklund, the study’s lead author, is the founder of Norway’s non-profit Council for Nutritional and Environmental Medicine and has published prolifically on topics related to heavy metals, autoimmune disorders and ASD. – Robert F Kennedy Jr.

A couple of years ago, Robert F. Kennedy Junior and Robert DiNero actually offered a $100,000 reward for any scientist, journalist or doctor who could present one paper or proof that mercury is safe to inject into children. At that conference, they brought more than 100 peer-reviewed studies showing how it isn’t.

A fairly recent Meta-Analysis published in the Journal Bio Med Research International points out what all of these other studies did as well:

 “The studies upon which the CDC relies and over which it exerted some level of control report that there is no increased risk of autism from exposure to organic Hg in vaccines, and some of these studies even reported that exposure to Thimerosal appeared to decrease the risk of autism. These six studies are in sharp contrast to research conducted by independent researchers over the past 75+ years that have consistently found Thimerosal to be harmful. As mentioned in the Introduction section, many studies conducted by independent investigators have found Thimerosal to be associated with neurodevelopmental disorders. Considering that there are many studies conducted by independent researchers which show a relationship between Thimerosal and neurodevelopmental disorders, the results of the six studies examined in this review, particularly those showing the protective effects of Thimerosal, should bring into question the validity of the methodology used in the studies.” (source)

Anderson then comments:

Well, are you against breast-feeding?  But you are aware that Methylmercury is actually in breast milk that’s given to children. If a child is only breastfed, they get more methylmercury then they would have ever gotten in any of the vaccines.

Just because there are other sources of mercury due to environmental pollution, like breastmilk, does not justify having mercury inside of vaccines. Mercury exposure comes from multiple areas, not just vaccines, because it’s presence in our environment is abundant as a result of multiple industries, not jut pharmaceutical. Mercury and heavy metal contamination are huge problems that cause a variety of diseases, but if mercury was banned from our environment, a lot of big industries would lose billions of dollars. I believe that the same powers behind our medications are the same ones spraying our food and using other methods to keep us sick to drive their profits up.

Furthermore, injecting heavy metals is far different than taking them in via other sources, like our food for example. This has been shown by numerous studies regarding aluminum, which is also present in multiple vaccines. Scientists discovered using animal models that injected aluminum does not come into the same method of excretion as the aluminum we take into our bodies via food or deodorant. Injected aluminum is picked up by macrophages (white blood cells) and transported to distant organs and the brain, where it can still be detected years after injection.

You can access those studies regarding injectable aluminum in the article linked below:

Brain Imaging Shows Autistic Brains Contain High Amounts of Aluminum

The truth is that there hasn’t been an appropriate study that actually looks at the bioaccumulation of vaccine ingredients and where they go in our body, including mercury.

This interview was a joke, and it unfortunately featured two people who were both ill-equipped to discuss the topic of vaccines. There are thousands of scientists and publications they could have used or cited, yet all we get is a massive ridicule campaign combined with the heavy marketing of vaccines instead.

Anderson also mentions organizations like the CDC and FDA, or regulatory agencies that approve our medications. These are very corrupt organizations, with dozens of examples showing their ties to big pharma.

The idea that vaccines aren’t entirely safe gained a lot of attention when one of the lead authors of a 2004 study came forward. His name is Dr. William Thompson, a senior researcher at the CDC who co-authored one of the most widely cited studies to debunk any link between the MMR vaccine and autism. The study allegedly found:

“The evidence is now convincing that the measles-mumps-rubella vaccine does not cause autism or any particular subtypes of autism spectrum disorder.”(source)

10 years later, he countered the original study, arguing:

“The [CDC] co-authors scheduled a meeting to destroy documents related to the [MMR vaccine] study. The remaining four co-authors all met and brought a big garbage can into the meeting room and reviewed and went through all the hard copy documents that we had thought we should discard and put them in a huge garbage can.” (source)

The Takeaway

The takeaway here is to recognize how mainstream media can easily influence us and perpetuate a completely false idea with absolutely no evidence to back it up. As a result, “monkey see monkey do” happens, as the rhetoric is then repeated and believed by those who watch it and it becomes the dominating opinion. This type of ‘fake news’ is also pushed hard by pharmaceutical companies, as they’ve completely taken over medical education. This is why you see so many doctors lacking knowledge in areas you’d assume they’d be experts in.

Think for yourselves.

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In order to stay truly independent, we need your help. We are not going to put up paywalls on this website, as we want to get our info out far and wide. For as little as $3 a month, you can help keep CE alive!

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‘Russia Collusion’: The Only Real ‘Colluders’ Have Been Proven To Be The Accusers

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    As more evidence comes out, it is looking like the only ones 'colluding' in the 'Russian Collusion' affair are those U. S. government officials who have been trying to make the case against Donald Trump.

  • Reflect On:

    Is there anyone out there that still believes claims that Donald Trump somehow 'colluded' with Russia, given that no evidence to that effect has come out after all this time?

What do John Brennan (ex-CIA), James Clapper (ex-DNI), James Comey (ex-FBI), Andrew McCabe (ex-FBI), Peter Strzok (ex-FBI), Lisa Page (ex-FBI), Rod Rosenstein (DOJ), Bruce Ohr (ex-DOJ), Hillary Clinton (ex-DOS) and a whole host of lesser-known players have in common? They’ve all been revealed as co-conspirators (“colluders”) in an attempt first to prevent and then to terminate the Trump presidency by whatever means possible.

Their strategy was to accuse the Trump campaign of “collusion” with Russia, not based on any credible evidence, but on the basis of the idea that this would be the easiest and most powerful story to fabricate. Most powerful because Russia remains the most feared enemy and biggest threat to U. S. sovereignty in mainstream perception, and easiest because these accusations are actually a projection of their own activities, including Hillary Clinton’s Uranium One dealings with Russian entities.

FISA Warrant ‘DECLAS’

At this point, anyone who still believes that there is any possibility that Donald Trump somehow “colluded” with Russia, which isn’t even illegal, has simply fallen victim to mainstream propaganda. If you take a look at any of the actual evidence, it seems like this was all a ‘witch hunt,’ as Trump would say.

We are still awaiting the ‘DECLAS,’ Q-Anon’s catchword referring to the declassification of various documents and texts including the full and unredacted FISA Warrant used against Trump Administration official Carter Page. This particular FISA Warrant is what allowed the colluders to first spy on the Trump campaign prior to the election. While this warrant was technically already released in July 2018, it was highly redacted. The unredacted version, which Donald Trump threatened to release in late September, was set to lay bare many of the conspirators’ means and motives behind this charade and prove that Robert Mueller’s special council was knowingly built upon pure fabrication.

However, Donald Trump pulled back his push for declassification, and he explained this decision on Twitter:

It’s unclear as to why he didn’t go ahead with the DECLAS in September. However, between the documents, emails and text messages that have already been made public as well as the testimonies of some of these co-conspirators, it’s not difficult to piece together what’s really going on here.

A Simple Breakdown

This Epoch Times article, which provides a comprehensive infographic and a detailed analysis of all the players involved in what they call ‘Spygate,’ is a great place to start for those of you who want to dig deeper. The following is a direct quote from the article, providing a simple breakdown of what happened:

1. CIA Director John Brennan, with some assistance from Director of National Intelligence James Clapper, gathered foreign intelligence and fed it throughout our domestic Intelligence Community.

2. The FBI became the handler of Brennan’s intelligence and engaged in the more practical elements of surveillance.

3. The Department of Justice facilitated investigations by the FBI and legal maneuverings, while providing a crucial shield of nondisclosure.

4. The Department of State became a mechanism of information dissemination and leaks.

5. Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign and the Democratic National Committee provided funding, support, and media collusion.

6. Obama administration officials were complicit, and engaged in unmasking and intelligence gathering and dissemination.

7. The media was the most corrosive element in many respects. None of these events could have transpired without their willing participation. Stories were pushed, facts were ignored, and narratives were promoted.

The first point is worth examining further, and everything else cascades down from there. It seems as though Deep State operatives Brennan and Clapper got together to find ways to prevent Trump from becoming President, since Hillary Clinton was the Deep State’s preferred choice and Brennan and Clapper would fare very well under her presidency. They decided, in concert with other conspirators, to use their favorite boogeyman Russia, and felt that if they could find enough information to make a little smoke, they would be able to cry ‘Fire!’ and everyone would stop, drop and roll on their command.

But times are changing, and schemes like this are not as effective for the Deep State as they used to be, especially since Donald Trump took office and is now being supported by an alliance that is against the Deep State. This matter has been under investigation, and in front of the House Intelligence Committee, Brennan admitted that his ‘intelligence findings’ were the main basis for the FBI investigation:

“I was aware of intelligence and information about contacts between Russian officials and U.S. persons that raised concerns in my mind about whether or not those individuals were cooperating with the Russians, either in a witting or unwitting fashion, and it served as the basis for the FBI investigation to determine whether such collusion [or] cooperation occurred.”

It is public record that the dossier that forms the bulk of Brennan’s ‘intelligence’ was funded by Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party, that this fact was not disclosed when the FISA Warrant was applied for, and that James Comey ultimately conceded that the information in this dossier was ‘salacious and unverified.’ The fact that no official intelligence was used to open the FBI’s investigation is quite unusual–stunning, in fact–and gives way to the idea that the FBI investigation was nothing more than part of the conspiracy to prevent Donald Trump from taking office.

The Takeaway

Unlike in the past, when matters of corruption, conspiracy, and even treason at high levels seemed to end with a single individual taking the blame and higher powers getting off scot-free, it looks like the truth on this matter may actually be revealed to the public and the elite may be held accountable. It is our own interest in and awareness of these matters that help push them further toward full disclosure. The fact that detailed, public information clearly identifies a conspiracy of many of the highest-ranking people from top government agencies suggests that it’s only a matter of time before the DECLAS is dropped. Perhaps this will be the act that finally brings the existence and activities of the Deep State into mainstream consciousness.

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The demand for Collective Evolution's content is bigger than ever, except ad agencies and social media keep cutting our revenues. This is making it hard for us to continue.

In order to stay truly independent, we need your help. We are not going to put up paywalls on this website, as we want to get our info out far and wide. For as little as $3 a month, you can help keep CE alive!

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Why We Need To Stop Bashing R. Kelly If We Want To Stop Teen Sexual Abuse & Pedophilia

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Singer superstar Robert Kelly has been charged with multiple accounts of child porn, rape, abuse, and running a sex cult where he kept several young women as sex slaves inside his home.

  • Reflect On:

    If we only react to crimes with judgement, anger, and hatred, do we ever give ourselves a chance to understand why this happens? If we don't take the time to do that, how can we ever stop it? Today, it's turned into an epidemic.

R. Kelly is a hot topic right now, as he’s been accused of raping minors, keeping minors locked up in his home for sexual purposes, and having inappropriate relationships with minors. We are talking about teenagers who ultimately are still just children. The testimony of many women and those close to him have illuminated  what Kelly has done, although he still denies these claims. As a result of a recent docu-series on Lifetime called ‘Surviving R Kelly,’ he is being made fun of, judged, and hated on publicly by many within the industry as well as outside of it. On the surface, this is understandable given the crimes and atrocities he’s committed.

The star is known as a predator of teenage girls. When he was 27, he married 15-year-old singer Aaliyah at a secret ceremony in Chicago. Vibe magazine later discovered that they were able to change Aaliyah’s age on the wedding certificate listing herself as 18, even though she was only 15 at the time. The marriage was annulled in February 1995.

A girl by the name of Tiffany Hawkins sued R Kelly for the personal injuries and emotional distress she suffered during a three-year relationship with the star. In court documents, she said she began having sex with Kelly in 1991 when she was 15 and he was 24.

He has been charged with 21 counts of making child pornography involving intercourse, oral sex, urination, and other sexual acts. Chicago police accused him of videotaping each of these acts and enticing minors to participate in them.

Back in July 2017, a crowd gathered in Chicago as Timothy Savage told the world that he believed his 21-year-old daughter was being “held against her will” as part of an alleged sex cult led by R&B singer R Kelly.

As it turns out, she wasn’t the only one. Apparently, there were several women held captive as sex slaves in a home he owned.

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The story made global news, and put the spotlight on the 51-year-old superstar’s private life – in particular, the rumours about his alleged sexual relationships with underage girls.

Savage claimed his daughter, Jocelyn, was part of an abusive sex cult, in which young girls were groomed and physically/sexually abused by Kelly.

R Kelly’s wife, ex-wife, and daughter have also been quite outspoken about his abusive behaviour, even more so now that so many people are gathering together and sharing their stories. When R. Kelly was making millions for record companies, it seemed to be swept under the rug. Along with these accusations also came many awards, fame, and notoriety.

It’s important to note that what we hear and what leaks out into the mainstream probably represents only a fraction of Kelly’s illegal activities. Many celebrities and members of the elite are often protected from the law, and many abused women and children may not feel comfortable coming forward.

How Should We React?

Amidst all of the judgement, anger, resentment and hatred towards R. Kelly, and any sexual predator, criminal, etc. for that matter, we often fail to address one of the most important questions: We forget to ask why and how.

There is no denying people have been hurt here, and it’s important to discuss what’s happened, but we must also discuss solutions. All we seem to do is judge, hate, and punish without asking why and how these things happen. It reminds me of how we operate prison systems in the western world. We claim to rehabilitate individuals, but really we just force them into incredibly poor conditions that often make their state of mind worse by the time of their release, and then we send them back out into society expecting that the past won’t repeat itself.

If we continue to judge, make fun, and ‘bash,’ we simply reinforce the cycle and allow it to continue without ever getting to the root cause of it, thus prolonging the issue instead of stopping it. In essence, just as we must provide a loving space for victims to process their experiences, we must also create that space for perpetrators.

As much as people may not want to hear it, ask yourself the question: Are we really changing anything by holding so much hate and judgment toward perpetrators? What happens when those hated individuals enter into bad rehabilitation systems and are out of prison a mere 5 or 10 years later? We’re perpetuating a cycle of disconnection.

Flipping The Script

People like R. Kelly are ‘sick,’ in the same way murderers, other rapists, and criminals are ‘sick.’ The only response from society has been judgement, and the result of that judgement is jail time which largely benefits politicians and corporations. It’s a modern day example of slavery, and actually has nothing to do with rehabilitation and fostering understanding and compassion.

When it comes to sexually abusing children, those who participate in this type of activity have often been subjected to severe childhood trauma themselves. It could be sexual or something else. As a result, they grow up and repeat what they have been through or look for other unhealthy ways to cope as they struggle to fit into society. This is something that has not been addressed nor understood by all of those who are participating in what’s become known as ‘elite level sexual abuse.’

In the case of R. Kelly himself, most people probably don’t realize he is a victim of child sex abuse. He has detailed in his autobiography how he was raped when he was eight years old, which continued for years. His brother also recently gave an emotional interview detailing how both of them were repeatedly raped at very young ages by their older sister, starting from when they were about 6 years old. They were forced to perform sexual acts on her as well as have intercourse. (source)

Think about what this does to a child at that age. This is trauma, and his behaviour may be a result of this trauma. Further, the Lifetime documentary series Surviving R Kelly clearly shows Kelly tries incredibly hard to protect himself from getting hurt. This is likely part of why he is so controlling. As hard as it is to watch and hear, it seems like he attempts to control every aspect of his life so that he avoids getting hurt. Does it mean it’s right to do? Of course not, it simply shows the frame of mind he’s operating from, and understanding that helps us figure out how we can help R Kelly. If we don’t put aside our hatred and judgement in order to feel compassion for these individuals, we will never find a solution. If we refuse, we not only fail to help the perpetrator, but we end up further perpetuating the issue and creating more victims.

Another great example would be the Vatican. Take Cardinal George Pell, for example, who recently became the highest ranking Vatican official to ever be convicted of child sexual abuse. This is something, most likely, he grew up experiencing himself. To him, it could be ‘normal’ behaviour, even if that’s at the subconscious level. Many of these Cardinals have been in the church since they were children. Not long ago, decades worth of sexual abuse was reported in a choir that was led by the retired pope Benedict’s brother. In that specific case, there were approximately 600 members of a Catholic boys’ Dompatzen choir in Regenburg, Germany who where physically and sexual abused from 1946 to 1992. Georg Ratzinger, the former Pope’s Benedict’s brother, was the choir’s head from 1964 to 1994.

Without treatment, many of these children may grow up and abuse young children. And if they don’t leave the church, they could end up further perpetuating the cycle of sexual abuse within it.

Asking The Important Questions

Register to watch our exclusive 4-part interview series with Anneke.

What does hatred do? What does judgement do? What progress will we ever make by making fun of these people, labelling them as psychopaths, and locking them up? On the other hand, what will love do? What does understanding do? What progress would be made without judgement and punishment, but rather with understanding, openness, transparency, and communication? We may need to detain these people to stop them from hurting others, but we must think of better ways of approaching this than our current methodology.

Don’t believe me? Hear it from a victim of elite child sex trafficking. We just put out a 4-part interview series with Anneke Lucas on January 17th, where she describes in detail her involvement as a child in an elite Belgian pedophile ring, her remarkable escape, and her healing journey over the last couple decades.

In the interview, she explains how vital it is during the healing process to not feel like a ‘victim,’ and that you actually empower your abuser by taking the victim stance or by labelling them as ‘crazy satanic pedophiles.’ She learned to look at them from a different perspective. Eventually, she felt sorry for her perpetrators and realized that the abusers are in need of something society is not ready to provide them with: the opportunity to heal.

The Takeaway

Sexual abuse has been an issue deeply ingrained in society for centuries, and it’s in part because society fails to respond with compassion. We do the exact opposite of that. We make fun of, vilify, point fingers, punish, and kill criminals. We do not rehabilitate and we do not give a chance for ‘lost souls’ to connect to the light that exists within them, that light that exists within all of us. There is no talk of past trauma and healing, and this is one of the biggest problems when it comes to alleviating various crimes including sexual abuse and pedophilia.

These people have nobody to talk to, their always running and hiding and never addressing the root cause of their problems. As a result, many people experience pain and trauma, and the cycle continues.

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Watch this 4-part Exclusive Interview Series with Anneke Lucas.

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