Connect with us

Alternative News

Pornography: How Much Is Too Much?

Avatar

Published

on

Before you begin...

Coherent icon

Take a moment and breathe. Place your hand over your chest area, near your heart. Breathe slowly into the area for about a minute, focusing on a sense of ease entering your mind and body. Click here to learn why we suggest this.

In today’s increasingly digital world, pornography is ubiquitous. And every time the affordability, accessibility, and variety of online porn increases, therapists who specialize in sexual disorders, such as myself, see a corresponding increase in the number of people seeking help with out-of-control usage. That said, there are several categories of people who struggle with porn. Many of these individuals are porn-addicted, though certainly not all, and even those who qualify as addicted may fall into different groups.

advertisement - learn more

Are You Addicted to Porn?

To qualify as an addiction, porn use must meet the following three criteria:

--> Our latest podcast episode: Were humans created by extraterrestrials? Joe sits down with Bruce Fenton, multidisciplinary researcher and author to explore the fascinating evidence behind this question. Click here to listen!

  • Preoccupation to the point of obsession with pornography
  • Loss of control over usage, most often evidenced by failed attempts to quit or cut back
  • Negative consequences related to porn use — ruined relationships, trouble at work or in school, depression, anxiety, isolation, loss of interest in non-sexual activities, financial issues, legal issues, loss of social standing, sexual dysfunction, etc.

Individuals who do not meet the above criteria are not porn addicted. They might still be troubled by their use of pornography, but usually this is based more on social shame than anything else.

Sometimes socially shamed porn users will self-identify as porn addicted even though they’re not, using addiction as a way to explain their unwanted sexual attractions and/or activities. For instance, a 19-year-old male may feel shame about his use of gay porn, which he looks at several times per week for 15 or 20 minutes (long enough to masturbate). Although his day-to-day functioning is unaffected by his porn use, he might be depressed and anxious. In therapy, this client should not be treated for porn addiction. Instead, he should be treated for the ego-dystonia he feels surrounding his sexual orientation. In short, a good therapist would focus on helping this young man overcome the shame he feels about being gay (or possibly bisexual) rather than on stopping his (relatively minimal) porn usage.

Other individuals who are not addicted to porn might be told they are by angry family members, moralistic therapists, and/or misinformed religious counsellors. For instance, a married 35-year-old man with a strict religious belief system may look at porn once or twice per week for half an hour with no ill effects other than his wife knows about it and doesn’t like it. However, when he goes to his pastor for advice, he might be labelled as porn addicted because why else would he engage in such sinful behavior. In reality, this man is not a porn addict, and an informed therapist would not treat him as such. Instead, a good therapist would help him reconcile his sexual life with his personal values, family circumstances, and religious beliefs.

Whether a porn user’s shame is internally or externally motivated, these individuals come to therapy worried about pornography, often to the point where they are clinically depressed and/or anxious. Generally, they are unhappy about their sexual fantasies and the ways in which they’re living them out. Plus, they’re keeping secrets, telling lies, and living a double life. But, once again, this does not automatically mean these people are porn addicted. Certainly they could be porn addicted, but only if their behaviour meets the criteria listed above.

advertisement - learn more

Of course, the majority of people who enter treatment for porn-related issues do qualify as addicted. Typically they’re looking at porn compulsively for multiple hours per day, they’ve tried and failed to quit or cut back (usually many times), and their lives are falling apart as a result. In short, they look a lot like alcoholics, drug addicts, compulsive gamblers, and other addicts. The only real difference is their “drug of choice.”

Classic vs. Contemporary Porn Addicts

Until the last few years, that was the entirety of the porn addicted population. People were going online and getting hooked on an ever increasing and constantly changing supply of intensely stimulating sexual imagery, using it to numb out and to escape emotional discomfort. (This ongoing desire for numbness and emotional escape is also why alcoholics drink, drug addicts use, compulsive gamblers place bets, etc. In other words, addictions are not about feeling good, they’re about feeling less.) Lately, however, therapists have identified a secondary population of porn addicts, mostly young males, who are using porn compulsively not to escape stress, anxiety, depression, and other forms of emotional discomfort but because they’ve become “conditioned” to the sexual intensity and variety that only pornography can provide. Thus, sex addiction treatment specialists are now seeing “classic” porn addicts and “contemporary” porn addicts.

Classic porn addicts, like most other addicts, generally present in treatment with extensive early-life trauma histories (abuse, neglect, addiction in the home, inconsistent parenting, and numerous other forms of family dysfunction). When these men and women are motivated to heal, standard sexual addiction treatment is generally effective, though establishing and maintaining sexual sobriety tends to be a significant struggle with two steps forward, one and a half steps back, just as we see with other forms of addiction.

A typical classic porn addict is a 28-year-old male who has been looking at porn 10, 20, or maybe even 30 hours per week, ongoing for many months or even years. Thanks to porn, his life is falling apart. He’s been reprimanded for using company equipment to look at porn, he can’t manage a relationship, he’s socially isolated from his family and friends, and he’s very depressed. And whatever he tries, he can’t seem to stop using porn. He quits for a day or two, but then he feels stressed out, and suddenly he’s right back at it. He tells himself he’ll only go online for a few minutes, but four hours later he’s still glued to his screen.

Contemporary porn addicts tend to be less stress and trauma driven. These individuals generally start using porn early on, sometimes even pre-adolescence, simply because it’s available and it seems like a fun thing to do. As adolescence progresses and they become more sexually interested, they continue with porn, using it more often over time. Because “getting their needs met” online is easier (less stressful and less emotionally demanding) than engaging in real world forms of adolescent romantic and sexual development, they continually turn to porn, sexting, and the like rather than more traditional forms of exploration. Then they wake up in their late teens or their twenties, hooked on pornography, with no clue how to have an actual relationship because they never learned the basics.

A typical contemporary porn addict is a 20-year-old male who started looking at porn when he was 12, just as puberty was kicking in. By age 14 he is using porn nightly. By age 15 he’s quit sports and clubs, preferring to spend his time alone, looking at and masturbating to pornography. His once-good grades are terrible, he’s lost contact with his friends, and he’s never dated. Now, at 20, he’s depressed, anxious, and ashamed about his life. He wants to do better in school and he wants to have friends and a normal romantic relationship, but he doesn’t know how to make any of that happen. So he sticks with what he knows: the endless intensity of online pornography.

Interestingly, both types of porn addiction require the basics of sex addiction treatment — most often a combination of cognitive behavioral therapy, ongoing accountability, social learning, and external support groups (especially 12-step groups like Sex Addicts Anonymous). The primary difference between the two cohorts is that contemporary porn addicts, because they typically lack the early-life trauma history of classic addicts, seem to find it easier to walk away from porn. (This is because they’re not constantly trying to escape the unresolved trauma of their childhood.) Moreover, when contemporary porn addicts do walk away, many of their porn-related problems dissipate rather quickly, particularly if/when they replace their porn use with healthy socialization and recreation. So once a contemporary porn addict has put the porn away, therapists will work to rectify aspects of delayed social development rather than on resolving early-life trauma issues.

If you need help for sexual addiction, treatment referrals can be found here. I also conduct a free, open-ended discussion about sex addiction at InTheRooms.com, Friday nights at 6 p.m. PST.

Dive Deeper

These days, it’s not just knowing information and facts that will create change, it’s changing ourselves, how we go about communicating, and re-assessing the underlying stories, ideas and beliefs that form our world. We have to practice these things if we truly want to change. At Collective Evolution and CETV, this is a big part of our mission.

Amongst 100's of hours of exclusive content, we have recently completed two short courses to help you become an effective changemaker, one called Profound Realization and the other called How To Do An Effective Media Detox.

Join CETV, engage with these courses and more here!

Advertisement
advertisement - learn more

Alternative News

FBI Confirms Report of “Cylindrical” UFO “Moving Really Fast” Over New Mexico

Avatar

Published

on

By

CE Staff Writer 4 minute read

In Brief

  • The Facts:

    The FBI has now confirmed that they are aware of the American Airlines pilot's UFO report. They did not say they are officially investigating the incident any further. The incident remains a mystery.

  • Reflect On:

    The increase in UFO coverage and reporting in mainstream media is raising public awareness about how prominent and well documented the subject is. What does the reality of the UFO phenomenon mean to you? Does it change your worldview?

Before you begin...

Coherent icon

Take a moment and breathe. Place your hand over your chest area, near your heart. Breathe slowly into the area for about a minute, focusing on a sense of ease entering your mind and body. Click here to learn why we suggest this.

On Sunday Feb. 21, 2021 a pilot on American Airlines flight 2292 from Cincinnati to Phoenix reported seeing a long cylindrical object fly very fast over New Mexico, reporting that it looked a lot like a cruise missile. Now, the FBI has confirmed that they are aware of the mysterious report but did not say whether they are investigating any further.

The pilots report, which can be heard here, went like this:

“Do you have any targets up here? We just had something go right over the top of us – I hate to say this but it looked like a long cylindrical object that almost looked like a cruise missile type of thing – moving really fast right over the top of us.”

Steve Douglass, an experienced radio interceptor, was the first to report on the incident and claimed he heard the pilot’s transmission while recording from his multiple scanners.

Initially, American Airlines did not confirm that they had information the incident had happened, but later on, they provided a different story to journalists at The Drive who pressed for more info.

American Airlines initial response:

“At this time, we do not have any indication the radio transmission was from the flight crew on board American Airlines Flight 2292 on Feb. 21,” an airline rep told the outlet initially.

American Airlines updated response:

“Following a debrief with our Flight Crew and additional information received, we can confirm this radio transmission was from American Airlines Flight 2292 on Feb. 21,”

On Feb. 25th, a FBI spokesperson Frank Connor told Fox News in an email that:

“The FBI is aware of the reported incident, […] While our policy is to neither confirm nor deny investigations, the FBI works continuously with our federal, state, local, and tribal partners to share intelligence and protect the public. Anyone who is aware of suspicious or criminal activity should contact their local law enforcement agency or the FBI,”

The Federal Aviation Administration did release a short statement regarding the incident as well:

A pilot reported seeing an object over New Mexico shortly after noon local time on Sunday, Feb. 21, 2021. FAA air traffic controllers did not see any object in the area on their radarscopes.

Up to this point this incident remains a mystery. It is unclear if further formal investigation is happening behind the scenes, but given what we’ve learned over our years of researching this subject, intelligence agencies tend to take these incidents significantly more seriously than they make the public aware of.

There has been a long term veil of secrecy surrounding the UFO phenomenon and only in recent years has the discussion turned more mainstream. It has been interesting to see further media publications pop up who are now taking this phenomenon a lot more seriously as well. This will continue to push this conversation into the mainstream over the course of time.

While it’s always intriguing to explore these new reports, there is decades of research and credible whistleblower testimony that fill in a great deal of ‘blanks’ when it comes to questions regarding the UFO and ET phenomenon. Indeed we know a lot more than what is being circulated in mainstream media at this time, and the phenomenon delves deeply into the field of consciousness research.

I recently received permission to release my full, raw, interview for the Dr. Steven Greer’s latest film ‘Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind.’ In it I cover my perspectives on discerning mainstream coverage of the UFO subject, the societal and cultural implications of the phenomenon, and what it means for humanity as a whole. You can watch the full interview exclusively on CETV.

Dive Deeper

These days, it’s not just knowing information and facts that will create change, it’s changing ourselves, how we go about communicating, and re-assessing the underlying stories, ideas and beliefs that form our world. We have to practice these things if we truly want to change. At Collective Evolution and CETV, this is a big part of our mission.

Amongst 100's of hours of exclusive content, we have recently completed two short courses to help you become an effective changemaker, one called Profound Realization and the other called How To Do An Effective Media Detox.

Join CETV, engage with these courses and more here!

Continue Reading

Alternative News

Global Food & Farming Issues: Dr. Vandana Shiva Slams Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg & Monsanto

Avatar

Published

on

By

CE Staff Writer 3 minute read

In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Physicist, environmental activist and renowned author Dr. Vandana Shiva explains modern day global food and farming issues. There are links within the article to her very informative work.

  • Reflect On:

    When organic agriculture has shown to be the best way to feed the world, why do giant corporations insist on taking over and doing things their way? Why do they have so much sway over government policy?

Before you begin...

Coherent icon

Take a moment and breathe. Place your hand over your chest area, near your heart. Breathe slowly into the area for about a minute, focusing on a sense of ease entering your mind and body. Click here to learn why we suggest this.

Dr. Vandana Shiva is a renowned author, environmental activist, and physicist. Shiva founded Navdanya, an international movement started 30 years ago in India to defend seed and food sovereignty and small farmers around the world.  Navdanya pioneered the movement of seed saving and seed freedom, which began in response to the crisis of erosion of agricultural biodiversity and introduction of GMOs and patents on seeds through intellectual property rights (IPRs) and so-called ‘free trade’ agreements. It has long fought against biopiracy, the patenting of indigenous knowledge by self-interested multinational corporations and won cases related to Neem, basmati rice and wheat in India. Navdanya promotes a new agricultural and economic paradigm, a culture of food for health, where ecological responsibility and economic justice replace the present greed, consumerism and competition which have become dominant in society. It aims at regaining the common good as a foundation for a renewed sense of community, solidarity and culture of peace.

In the last 30 years, Navdanya’s research on Biodiversity based Agro-ecological farming has shown how Agroecology can increase nutrition and health, as well as farmers incomes while rejuvenating soil, water and biodiversity and enhancing climate resilience. They have a membership of more than 650,000 farmer families in 22 states of India. According to Navdanya:

The COVID public health crisis and its resulting economic devastation have accelerated calls to respond through the ‘Great Reset’ of capitalism through embracing the fourth industrial revolution. For food systems, this would mean a ‘food systems transformation’ where all areas of the food supply chain are further centralized, digitized, and mined for data in the false names of ‘public health’ and ‘economic recovery’. This push is now being supported by international organizations and world leaders who stand hand-in-hand with big corporations’ desires for further agrifood system concentration. This translated to a more aggressive push toward false solutions of farms managed through artificial intelligence and predictive algorithms, precision farming, fake foods- such as lab-grown meat, synthetically produced oils, and breastmilk- robot pollinators, biofortification, gene drives for more advanced forms of GMOs, and digital sequencing genetic information (DSI) of agro-diversity.

They recently put out a very informative report titled “Gates to A Global Empire.” Be sure to check it out. I suggest you read a recent article written by Dr. Shiva (her twitter account) titled, “Indian farmers’ 30 year struggle against corporate globalisation and 40 year struggle against the green revolution.” Her books are also a great resource documenting the takeover of seed and the immoral and unethical actions of big corporations, like Monsanto, in India and all over the world.

The clip below is from 2019 but it’s still very informative.

 

Dive Deeper

These days, it’s not just knowing information and facts that will create change, it’s changing ourselves, how we go about communicating, and re-assessing the underlying stories, ideas and beliefs that form our world. We have to practice these things if we truly want to change. At Collective Evolution and CETV, this is a big part of our mission.

Amongst 100's of hours of exclusive content, we have recently completed two short courses to help you become an effective changemaker, one called Profound Realization and the other called How To Do An Effective Media Detox.

Join CETV, engage with these courses and more here!

Continue Reading

Alternative News

‘Big Short’ Investor Michael Burry Warns Central Governments Could Squash Bitcoin

Avatar

Published

on

By

CE Staff Writer 6 minute read

In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Well known hedge fund Michael Burry feels that Bitcoin could be squashed by the "legally violent, heartless central governments" who won't allow Bitcoin to stay decentralized.

  • Reflect On:

    Our societal structures, like the economy, are certainly in question as many continue to lose faith in them. Is the path towards a better future through cryptocurrency? Could humanity dream up a world without money?

Before you begin...

Coherent icon

Take a moment and breathe. Place your hand over your chest area, near your heart. Breathe slowly into the area for about a minute, focusing on a sense of ease entering your mind and body. Click here to learn why we suggest this.

You might remember the famed hedge fund manager Michael Burry from the film ‘Big Short,’ his character was played by Christian Bale. He is best known for forecasting the 2008 financial crisis, and he made billions from that bet. In a recent tweet, Burry has suggested that governments could “squash” Bitcoin (BTC) in a coming inflationary crisis due to further pandemic stimulus.

Burry also feels that further regulation of the decentralized currency could hamper BTC’s performance in the long term. With one of the main motivations behind cryptocurrency’s like BTC being that they are intended to operate outside of government control and regulation, you can bet that the millions who invest in crypto intend that it stays that way – out of the governments reach.

In a now deleted series of Tweets, Michael Burry stated some intriguing opinions about Bitcoin and potential government interventions:

I don’t hate BTC. However, in my view, the long term future is tenuous for decentralized crypto in a world of legally violent, heartless centralized governments with lifeblood interests in monopolies on currencies. In the short run anything is possible – why I am not short BTC.

Burry claiming he is not ‘short’ on BTC means he is not betting that its price will fall significantly anytime soon.

One of the major reasons Burry feels governments could squash BTC is due to coming inflation as a result of more pandemic stimulus. “In an inflationary crisis, governments will move to squash competitors in the currency arena. $BTC #gold,” he said.  As you can sense by Burry’s words, he feels governments will do anything in their power to maintain control over their own currencies, and protect them at all costs, regardless whether it’s what benefits people most or not.

In his recent string of tweets he discussed Germany’s path to hyperinflation in the 1920s. He currently sees America’s economic trajectory to be similar to the post-World War I climate that eventually led to a 320% monthly inflation rate in the country.

If Burry is right about the upcoming inflation and the governments potential regulatory actions on BTC, this will be the 2nd time in recent years that he predicted a seismic shift in the US economy.

“People say I didn’t warn last time, I did, but no one listened. So I warn this time. And still, no one listens. But I will have proof I warned.” – Burry said in a tweet.

Modern Structures Are Failing

This inevitably brings up the discussion of our current way of life when thinking about our societal design. Does a capitalistic economy really create a world where people can thrive? Does it inspire big business and governments to think about people’s well being first? Or does it motivate them to think of profits first? Perhaps it’s our underlying worldview of competition and separation that causes us to create society in this manner? Either way, history over the last 30 years has shown us that financial crisis’ are happening at a faster rate, each time pushing more and more people into a lower socio-economic class while the few become richer. Aside from available spending money, think of how this affects people’s basic ability to survive and enjoy life.

COVID-19 served to make billionaires even bigger billionaires, while the average person struggles to get a job, feed their family and make basic payments. Is this a world we want to live in? Does this truly feel like what we’re capable of or are we being convinced to accept something because someone said so?

Are we really to support the idea that governments should regulate cryptocurrency, a means of exchange that is outside their control? What’s the motivation behind their regulation? As faith in our institutions crumbles year after year, is the culture within governance feeling their increasing loss of power over the people?

I don’t intend to write a lengthy piece deeply exploring the ins and outs of our economic model and why it’s not serving the people, I’ll save that for another time. I sense that the questions I’ve posed will already bring up thoughts and feelings within you that tend to ‘know’ our current ways aren’t working to help people thrive, perhaps that’s enough.

Where I’m curious to push the envelope a little further is in the question of why do we believe that we need currency and exchange to begin with? Why must our economies work the way we do? Have we really chosen to ask this question? Or have we accepted the limited and dishonest historical belief that “we tried everything else and this is best?”

A radical idea to consider I know, but one I invite you to imagine for just a moment. Given all the the incredible technology we have available to us today, can we really not imagine a society where money is not required? Given the emerging information in post material science that is telling us a different story about the nature of humans, can we honestly say we are simply competitive and warring animals still?

For just a moment, set aside the judgements someone might cast upon you for considering that we could live in a world without money, things like “that’s socialism!” or  “That’s communism!” If you were tasked with the project of coming up with a way to live in our world without money, how might it look? How would we go about creating that type of community?

Aside from what we’re commonly told, human beings are incredible, with extraordinary abilities to connect, build community and solve problems. If we changed the conversation from “that’s never going to be possible” to “how might we actually go about doing this?” that innocent little shift allows us to be open, sense possibility and activate our creativity, even if it means we aren’t going to take action right away.

I’ve been doing this sort of work and asking these questions my whole life – professionally for 13 years – I don’t hold the naive position that all of this can just happen on its own or that we don’t require deep questioning of our current worldview, I recognize all of this is necessary. What I am saying though is, if we don’t begin to think and explore down this path, we can’t ever make things ‘better.’

So what are you choosing to do? Accept the world as it is today? Or are you open to imagining a world where people can truly thrive?

Dive Deeper

These days, it’s not just knowing information and facts that will create change, it’s changing ourselves, how we go about communicating, and re-assessing the underlying stories, ideas and beliefs that form our world. We have to practice these things if we truly want to change. At Collective Evolution and CETV, this is a big part of our mission.

Amongst 100's of hours of exclusive content, we have recently completed two short courses to help you become an effective changemaker, one called Profound Realization and the other called How To Do An Effective Media Detox.

Join CETV, engage with these courses and more here!

Continue Reading
advertisement - learn more
advertisement - learn more

Video

Due to censorship, please join us on Telegram

We post important content to Telegram daily so we don't have to rely on Facebook.

You have Successfully Subscribed!