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Five Things I Learned By Going Celibate For A While (By Choice)

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Have you ever considered taking a time of celibacy?

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It’s a fascinating question because it seems counter to everything that we desire when we start studying tantra. Many of us start studying tantra because we hear about the incredible sex and hour-long orgasms. Why would we ever want to be celibate?

Because the magic of tantra is about breaking free of limitations and old patterns.

It’s about personally challenging our beliefs, fears, and desires.

It’s about changing, expanding, and truly taking ourselves to a new level.

And celibacy is a fascinating “wormhole” that can get us there.

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Many Great Tantric Masters Had Times of Celibacy. Why?

Sex is a wonderful experience, a wonderful way of sharing love. In fact, part of becoming tantric sexually involves getting rid of all the shame, guilt, and taboos connected with sex. So, isn’t taking a time of celibacy going in the wrong direction?  No.

The ancient tantriks were about changing things up and challenging the status quo so that people would wake up and start truly living.

And so, if they came into a town where everyone was sexually repressed through religion or societal rules, sex would be the thing to shock them into awakening.

But if they came into our sex-saturated society, what would they recommend? A break, perhaps, since  even though we have issues with shame, guilt, religion, and taboos around sexuality, sex is everywhere. We believe that it defines our self-worth. The media tells us subliminally each day how important it is to be attractive sexually. It is so deep in our subconscious now that the idea of chosen celibacy is shocking.

And in some tantra circles it is even worse. In many “red-tantra” workshops and courses, the focus is on healing and releasing the shame and guilt around sex — very valuable work. Accordingly, they include many sexual exercises and physical interactions that are very pleasurable and freeing. But often, there is also an undercurrent of sexual addiction. Having these pleasurable sexual experiences becomes the goal of every workshop and life experience. As you walk in, you can literally feel the sexual desire and needs coming off of people. Energetically, their “second chakra” is screaming for union.

Once we are freed of our shame, guilt, and taboos, the next step is to become whole. Tantra brings us to complete wholeness. There is actually no need for another. There is no need for sex. We have both masculine and feminine energies within us. Combining these polarities with spirit, we are fully satisfied within us. This is true tantra. Sexuality and union with another simply becomes one way of expressing this ecstasy.

What I Discovered Being Celibate:

I recently took a time of celibacy.

This was a huge deal because I LOVE sex. The choice of celibacy came as an intuitive knowing. A healer had told my friend that she had to take some time off from men for a while. As my friend told me this, it was like the healer had spoken directly to my heart. I instantly knew that this is what I needed to do.

And it horrified me! I had had a partner and been sexually active for over 25 years. I teach tantra. I have euphoric sexual experiences that I can’t even describe. Why in the world would I want to give this up?

My first clue was the incredible reaction my ego was having to the thought. I felt like that person who says that they could give cigarettes or booze up any time — they “just don’t want to right now,” but they could do it.

Sigh. And so it was.

And it changed my life.

1. I Realized That I Was Addicted to Sex and Relationships

I couldn’t believe how hard it was to give up having a man in my life. I had been married for over 20 years. Before and since then, I’d had other partners and lovers. I didn’t realize how much my heart depended on always having that other person to say “good morning” to or to crawl into bed with at night.

I never thought that I NEEDED the masculine energy of a man. I was convinced that I was an independent, intelligent, whole woman. You couldn’t have convinced me otherwise. And yet, the dark nights of the soul that I went through definitely showed me something else.

I found out that part of my self-worth was intimately tied to having a sexual partner. It meant that I was desirable and loveable. Without that person as a mirror for me, did I exist at all? I went through quite a few existential crises.

2. I Healed My Energy Leaks

I had a vision early in my celibacy of my pelvis as a bowl. And that ever since I started being interested in boys, this bowl had tipped downward in the front. And so energy would come into my body and then pour out the bowl into the other person. And when I was in a serious relationship, it was like every bit of energy I had simply went to nourish the other. Hmmm… No wonder I was so tired.

But after about 3 weeks, this bowl seemed to tip up and become level. It felt like energy would come into me and then it would circulate within me instead of pouring outward. This energy nourished ME for perhaps the first time in decades. It was absolutely incredible.

Even doing simple tantric breathing exercises like micro-cosmic orbit was different. This breath pattern asks us to breath energy up the back of our spine and then down the front of our bodies (this is a simplified explanation). Now, there was so much more energy circulating within me. And it was so easily orgasmic. I wondered whether this is why many people struggle with feeling anything during this breath. Do they have leaks?

3. The Masculine and Feminine Balanced Within Me

I soon realized that I had to become my own best boyfriend. What was this masculine energy that I was seeking in another? Structure, Logic, Protection, Energy… Hmmm.

In the rest of the world, my masculine energy was strong. I have a degree in mathematics (I’m logical). I’ve written books and courses and taught classes (manifested). I’ve owned my own businesses for 20 years (structure). I figured that I had this one covered.

But the masculine within myself needed work. To make a plan personally and honour it (structure). To turn my cellphone off and take a bath and not let anyone interrupt me (protection). To defend myself from others (protection).

I also asked myself what was it that I wanted a partner to do for me. Truthfully, I wanted him to look at me and tell me I was the most beautiful, incredible person he’d ever met. I wanted him to touch me gently and lovingly and not expect anything from me. I wanted him to plan fun outings and buy me flowers and chocolate.

So I did this for myself.

I planned fun things for “us” to do “together.” I looked in the mirror and observed the beauty before me and told my feminine side wonderful things about her. She cried a lot. I held myself in bed and loved myself completely. I am a tantrika. I have magic touch (we all do). I could actually use it on myself and drive myself crazy. Apparently, I am a great boyfriend!

After a few months, I can’t tell you the feeling of wholeness and complete contentment.

4. I Had More “Spontaneous Orgasms”

There’s a joke out there about people who study tantric sex becoming unable to finish a sentence without their whole body shaking in orgasm. It’s just a joke… kind of.

In my past, once in a while, I would have the experience of just sitting somewhere and suddenly feeling incredible orgasms in my whole body. No touching. Nothing in particular happening. They would just happen.

Well, as the months of my celibacy went on, this started happening more and more. I would be sitting in the library and I would read a beautiful passage and I would close my eyes to ponder it. And as I would breathe deeply, my whole body would start to shudder in pleasure. (Honestly, I was torn between the part of me having this incredible, unanticipated experience and the other part of me watching me sitting in the middle of the Toronto Public Library barely able to contain my full-body orgasm and thinking about how incredibly ironic and funny the scene was!)

But it started happening as I walked down the street, as I talked about tantra, as I watched the sunset.

Then, I found out that this was normal with people who choose tantric celibacy. If we choose celibacy because sex is “bad” or “dirty” or “low-energy,” then we are repressing our life-force and so instead, this energy just gets twisted into something else. But within a tantric path, we choose it with the desire of exploration. It is about “changing the variables” to further explore our own consciousness and experience. So, growth and new experiences (like spontaneous orgasms) happen.

And of course, this experience deepened my experience of being whole without the NEED of another to fill my needs. I was having orgasms just sitting in the library! Choosing a partner would truly be a CHOICE, not a need.

What a wonderful surprise!

5. I Integrated With My Spirit Even More

I’ve always been intensely spiritual. I’ve always been a mystic. But I had also always been a partner and a mom. As much as I connected “vertically” with God/Spirit, my first focus has always tended toward “horizontal” — partners, children, and family. No matter how spiritual I was, my default has always my interactions and love with others.

But during my time of celibacy, I was living alone. My children had grown and were thousands of miles away. I had lots of friends. But they aren’t the same level of intimacy.

So, I read a lot of Rumi. I read a lot of mystic poetry about the wonder and connection with God.

I was able to immerse myself in this experience in ways that I hadn’t before. I had cleared the decks in a way. It was so beautiful.

Being Celibate on Your Own

Would you like to try this? Does it feel like it’s on your path? Do you feel like you are always searching for a partner? Does it feel like more of a need than a choice?

Are you studying tantra but maybe missing the magic that everyone talks about?

Even without a partner, if you choose this, it is good to have at least one person that you can talk to that understands your process. I found it to be a very dark time, since I was looking at very vulnerable aspects of my need to belong and to be loved, as well as my self-worth. So it is good to have a teacher or wise confidante to share your journey with.

It’s often good to give yourself a timeframe. It’s only in the low times that we want to break our vow, and we don’t tend to have the best discernment then. So a hard “masculine” rule can be helpful here.

Being Celibate Within a Relationship

You can still practice celibacy within a loving partnership as well; you just release the sex part. You can be intimate in loving ways — embracing, kissing, touching. But we all know the difference between a loving touch and a sexual touch. Just let the sexual touch go.

And it’s even an interesting discussion to have within a relationship if it would be an issue. Sometimes, we rely on sex as our connector and if this is true, you’ll find out right away. The wonderful gift is that you will find other ways to connect intimately. You will find out what you both love to do together. You will have conversations like, “Sooooo, if we aren’t going to have sex, how else do you like to connect?” Just imagine the wonderful ripple effects of bringing in other loving connections into a relationship besides sex.

And then, after a couple months of connecting in a hundred other loving ways, your sex life would truly be the sacred worship that it is meant to be.

Being Celibate Was Fascinating

The most beautiful end result was that I truly felt like me again. I didn’t realize how I had subtly shifted with each person in my life — including family, children, and partners. It was like I had been a shapeshifting chameleon in some ways, and now I wasn’t. I got to see the real me: whole, perfect, and wonderful. Such an incredible gift!

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Consciousness

Do We ‘Exist’ Before We Are Born? A Woman Who Remembers Shares Her Story

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Susan Manewich shares her memories of her SELF before birth, as well as her memory of incarnating into her mothers womb, what it was like and how she felt.

  • Reflect On:

    Is it possible that we are conscious, in another form, prior to birth? Who are we beyond the mind and body?

Does life exist before birth? This is a question that’s been contemplated for thousands of years. In the Socratic dialogue, Meno by Plato, the character Socrates attempts to prove that life exists before birth. Instead of innate knowledge that we are simply born with, knowledge that simply comes naturally to us, Plato relies on prenatal knowledge to explain our ability to solve problems in mathematics and philosophy, and suggests that we must have known the answers to these problems all along.

Plato, among many others, was convinced that there were such things as absolute beauty and truths. He believed that what we call the ‘soul’ was eternal, and that all knowledge was simply a form of remembering things that our soul knew before birth. To explain his view, he wrote the parable of the cave, where people are sitting around a fire watching shadows of the outside manifest themselves on the wall of the cave. For their entire life, they watched these reflections, and to them, it was a representation of the real world. One day they ventured out of the cave, and the real world was finally revealed to them.

Today, this is happening on multiple levels, so much so that the truth is so ‘painful’ and unbelievable that many prefer to venture back into the cave of ignorance.

Plato believed that, before birth, the soul possesses knowledge, but that knowledge is lost when we enter into the world at birth. Our senses cloud the remembrance of real truths as we enter into the world of illusion and eventually become slaves to our senses. Perhaps this is why many spiritual practices like Buddhism and several yogic philosophies preach the abstinence of sensorial pleasure to an extent, because the more we engage in our senses, the further we drift away from the knowledge of our soul.

This is very interesting because the idea of the soul being an eternal entity is nothing new. Take reincarnation, for example, which is the idea that we experience many different lives not only on our own planet and dimensions, but other ones as well. The topic and research that’s gone into reincarnation is extremely fascinating to say the least, so much so that Carl Sagan stated that reincarnation deserves “serious study” because “young children sometimes report details of a previous life, which upon checking turn out to be accurate and which they could not have known about in any other way other than reincarnation.” (source)

There’s Research To Support It

Now, this does not mean that reincarnation is the be all and end all of the soul’s journey and experience, it might be one option out of several possibilities depending on its purposes, lessons it needs to learn, etc. The University of Virginia’s psychiatrist Jim Tucker is arguably the world’s leading researcher on this topic, and in 2008, he published a review of cases that suggested the existence of reincarnation in the journal Explore.

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It makes sense, at least to me, that children are more likely to experience this type of memory recollection because they’re younger in age. So, perhaps they’re able to remember what happened to them prior to being born, before the soul loses its memory after being entering into a human body.

Here’s an article I wrote on multiple children providing details and proof of their past lives here on Earth. Here’s another one of a boy who remembered his past life on Mars. The Mars case is of particular interest, given that Mars was once very much Earth-like and there is evidence that an advanced civilization existed there in the past. You can see my post here and read the study that’s cited. You can also learn more about Mars and its supposed past here.

So, if we have experienced past lives before we were born, did we come here for a reason? Did our souls choose to come here? Are we all here for some sort of specific purpose? Are we here to remember why we came? Is it possible that the soul may forget why it came and goes to sleep, but can also ‘wake up’ and remember why it’s here?

Susan’s Story

Susan A. Manewich is the President of the New Energy Movement and is also a contactee, which is a person who’s been contacted by what we perceive as extraterrestrial life. She has been involved in some of the most extensive research on contactees ever conducted.

We recently interviewed Susan about her research into The Contactee Experience. At the beginning of the interview, she touches upon how she literally remembers incarnating onto this planet and being in her mother’s womb, which signifies her knowledge that she came from somewhere else. This is fascinating as it begs some interesting questions: If her memories are in fact correct, what does this say about who we truly are, and about what we think we know about our reality and our consciousness?

“Literally remember coming from a different space and place… I didn’t lose that consciousness, I remember that… I remember, literally, hearing the call, that I needed to leave where I was, which was in energy form, and I do remember being connected to source, and literally being really excited to come too. I didn’t know it was this planet, let’s just put it this way: it was a call, it was a pull… I do remember the journey of coming through, I remember being energy in the corner of my parents’ bedroom and literally the next thing I know, my next conscious memory is being in my mothers womb probably about 7 mothers or so in Utero.”

We interviewed her for a 3-part series that goes deeper into the topic of contactees, both in regards to beings and ET’s, as well as her work on bringing forth new energy technologies.

The Contactee Experience, which is the first part in the series, is currently available for free for you to watch on demand. You can start watching it here.

In our Hidden Energy Technologies interview with Susan, we explore how she has been vetting free energy technologies for many years now, and has some of the most extensive knowledge out there on these subjects. In our interview with her, we explore these technologies, what’s real and what’s not, and what it will take to actually have these technologies hit the light of day… and it’s not simply by ending the Deep State’s suppression of them.

In the final part, Contactees and The Shift, Susan shares some of the most important and understandable messages regarding contactees. We also get into the most commonly shared messages contactees report, as they relate to the massive global shift in consciousness we are experiencing on the planet today.

As we discuss in the interview series, it’s important to keep in mind that there are multiple forms of contact: there are abductions, which you can read more about here, energetic contact experiences, contact with extraterrestrials, and contact with other types of beings.

If you would like to watch this interview series and learn a lot more about the latest contactee and free energy technology research, start by watching part 1 here.

As backed up by research, most contactees who have been hypnotically regressed, as well as those who haven’t, share shockingly similar stories in their experiences. Dr. David M Jacobs, a recently retired Professor and historian, has stated that the “consistency is mind-boggling.”

It’s not uncommon for ‘ET contactees’ or those who have been regressed to share information that suggests life exists prior to birth. The reason for a lot of the UFO/ET activity we see here today could be directly correlated with the idea that these people have come here for a specific purpose. This is a common feeling among activists and those who have experienced ET/UFO contact, at least a good portion of them.

The Takeaway

Contemplating reincarnation and the existence of life prior to birth is nothing new, as proven by generations of children who remembered their past lives as well as ancient lore and philosophy from around the globe. The information shared within this article isn’t ‘proof’ according to the way our minds have been trained to recognize what ‘proof’ is; instead, it’s something that seems to resonate deeply with many people. Couple that with the extreme consistency between the stories shared by not only children, but by people like Susan as well, the reincarnation theory seems incredibly plausible. Plus, if you look at the work of multiple hypnotic regressionists who’ve worked with people that have experienced ‘extraterrestrial’ contact, it’s definitely interesting to say the least.

Furthermore, if we examine scientific literature associated with parapsychology, quantum physics and consciousness (all related), the idea that consciousness or the soul exists as a separate entity from the body is really not that far off, although consciousness is, in my opinion, something different from the soul.

——–

Watch the full interview with Susan titled The Contactee Experience by clicking here.

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Consciousness

Supermoon In Libra: Relationship Adjustments

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We are having a Full Moon in Libra on March 20th-21st depending on where you are located in the world. This is the peak of the Lunar cycle that began on March 6 with a New Moon in Pisces. It will also be the last of three back to back Supermoons happening in 2019, which is when the Moon appears larger and brighter due to its closer proximity to the Earth. The previous one in February was the brightest of the three.

This Full Moon coincides with the Equinox, which is the beginning of Aries season (via the Tropical Zodiac) and is the first of 12 signs. Traditionally, some cultures observe this period as the beginning of a New Year, which makes much more cosmological sense than the calendar New Year. Even this transition from dreamy and floaty Pisces to active and direct Aries tends to be the most obvious and noticeable transition between signs.

During this Full Moon, we can experience either a push-pull or collaboration between the Sun in Aries and Moon in Libra. The energies of it gradually build up and become more noticeable on the day of and days surrounding it. It is also part of the backdrop of the other astrological influences/reflections over the following two weeks.

Aries and Libra are two out of the four Cardinal signs which are the first signs of each quarter of the zodiac. They all have an initiating quality in their own way. Aries is a fire sign ruled by Mars. It is about action, moving forward, pioneering, independence, self-identity, self-orientation, and leadership. It is bold, courageous, and instinctual, yet it can also be aggressive, impulsive, impatient, selfish, and hot tempered.

Libra is an Air sign ruled by Venus. It is about relating, relationships, partnerships, codependency, consideration, harmony, balance, fairness, art, creativity, and beauty. It is sociable, diplomatic, and intellectual, yet it can also be indecisive, passive aggressive, vain, and even judgemental. Although Aries is much more of an initiating sign in comparison to Libra due to the qualities mentioned above, Libra still expresses its Cardinal energy socially and towards consideration.

An interesting thing to mention is that this Full Moon happens right at the beginning of Libra at 0 degrees due to it occurring  on the Equinox. This degree tends to be more potent and sometimes can reflect exploring new experiences or actions connected to that sign.

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Full Moon Opposite Sun/Chiron Conjunction, Quincunx Uranus

The Sun is aligned with Chiron, which brings its themes into the opposition of this Full Moon. This could trigger wounds, blockages, and patterns connected to self-identity, independence, willpower, ego, or other Aries themes mentioned in the section above. It can also reflect potential healing, bridging or uniting two parts of something, holistic awareness, and combined with the current Mercury Retrograde in Pisces it could also have a spiritual tone. This can be a source of either potential challenges and/or growth around relationships at this time.

The Full Moon is in a quincunx with Uranus in Taurus, which could reflect changes, surprises, disruptions, new experiences, rebellion, or other curve balls being thrown at us that may require some adjustments. In many cases it will be connected to the themes of the Aries-Libra opposition mentioned and can play out in our relationship dynamics, but it can also manifest in other ways. In Taurus it could have something to do with money, possessions, or values.

Venus Square Mars and Sextile Jupiter, Mars Trine Pluto

Venus, the ruler of Libra, is in Aquarius while in a tight square with Mars in Taurus, which is the ruler of Aries. This aspect emphasizes the potential challenges of this Full Moon. The way we or others assert our personal wants, values, or resources can be at odds with social or romantic aspects of our lives. However, this aspect can also be supportive creatively or sexually, especially considering that Venus is also in a harmonious aspect with Jupiter.

Venus in a sextile with Jupiter in Sagittarius can reflect growth, learning, and overall expansiveness in different types of relationships. In some cases it can be connected to travel/foreign countries, social media, education, and beliefs. However, the developments that could occur might require adjustments in how we assert ourselves.

Mars is in a trine with Pluto, which can be good for actions that are focused, deep, and powerful. It can also be good for applying ourselves in a confident or empowering way and towards making positive changes.

Mercury Retrograde Moving Towards Neptune Before Going Direct

Mercury has been retrograde in Pisces since March 5th, a day before this Lunar cycle started. This retrograde extends the strong Piscean energy into most of Aries season. The actual retrograde ends on March 28th; however, the following days can still feel retrograde-ish. The few weeks following are known as the ‘post shadow,’ which is when its themes conclude and things start to fall into place more smoothly and productively.

While Mercury is transitioning from retrograde to direct, it will be aligned with Neptune. Our intuition can be heightened and we can be divinely inspired. Our thoughts and communications can be revolved around spirituality, compassion, empathy, and sacrifice. This can be a period of magical experiences or interactions with others. However, this can be challenging for rational and linear thinking. We can overlook mundane details easily and can also be confused. You can read more about this retrograde here.

Things To Consider During This Period

What recurring themes have been coming up for you in recent weeks, and what directions are your circumstances pushing you towards? How can you balance your individual needs with your relationship’s needs? Do you or others in your life have any wounds or blockages getting in the way? If so, what can you do to resolve or address the situation?

These are just some examples of themes that could come up during this period; however, there may be other variations of this energy playing out as well.  If you wish to do any sort of intentional release connected to what has come up at this Full Moon, it is best to do so anytime over the two weeks following, when it is waning. The exact moment of this Full Moon is on the night of March 20th/21st at 1:43am Universal Time. You can click here to see what that is in your time zone.

I am extending my Sale on Astrology Readings until the end of March. 20% – 30% off! More information here.

Follow me on INSTAGRAM, FACEBOOK, and YOUTUBE for more astrology related content.

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Consciousness

A Simple Trick To Unlock Determination & Focus

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    In a world filled with distractions, the ability to lock in and focus has become harder and harder to master. But rather than looking outside of yourself for a solution, the key may just lie within.

  • Reflect On:

    How many notifications do you receive daily? Are there any Apps that rather than always receiving notifications from you could instead just check at certain times?

A recent study revealed that in the United States, the average smartphone user receives 45.9 push notifications per day, and many of us exceed that number. From Facebook to Instagram to Twitter to WhatsApp to Gmail, everything is constantly vying for our attention.

As a result of this overload, we’re experiencing a collective inability to focus at our highest potential and a reality where the majority of us are consistently fighting off some sort of urge to do something else.

(Fun Fact: Even as I’ve just started to write this article I’ve already seen my phone light up twice with notifications. I’ve now followed my own rules and have turned it over to lock in on the task at hand–more on this later.)

Even if you are part of the dying breed of individuals who have sworn off social media, although you finding and reading this article suggests otherwise, we all seem to be having an incredibly difficult time staying focused.

And with every useless scroll through our Instagram news feed and with every endless YouTube video rabbit hole we fall into, we only further shrink our attention span and strengthen the programming that convinces us that this is normal behaviour.

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Assuming that part of why you clicked on this article is because you do have something that you ideally would like to focus on and ultimately accomplish, I’d like to share with you the best tactic I’ve personally found (and some bonus ones) to “lock in.” Believe it or not, this tactic is not a specific exercise, but is instead designed for you to realize that you still have an incredible ability to focus within you. It hasn’t gone anywhere, it’s just been misguided.

In fact, it’s likely getting more use than you could ever imagine.

The best way to explain this further is by using an example. Think of the last time you either: A) lost your phone, or B) forgot to bring a charger and realized that your phone was about to die.

The moment that either of those realities kick in for most of us, we immediately enter a state where nothing else matters. In scenario A, we search everywhere possible, call it from any other device we can get our hands on, and seek out the assistance of everyone available. In scenario B, despite being an introvert on the daily, we suddenly find ourselves engaging in conversation with everyone by asking for a charger, and if one can’t be found we start planning our exit no matter how much fun we’re having pre-low battery.

We’ve all experienced and have seen this before. When assessed like this, it likely sounds like a form of insanity–and I wouldn’t be surprised if it is–but from a completely different perspective, it’s actually fully “locked in” determination.

You see, we all have the capacity to focus on one particular thing and give all of ourselves to it, it’s just that our auto-pilot has become the opposite because of the sheer number of distractions we are exposed to and have become addicted to.

So rather than looking outside of yourself for some practice or technique that’s going to help you focus and finish writing that book, completing the homework, or finally send out those wedding thank you cards, look within and realize that you are still a determination powerhouse just waiting to be re-guided.

Bonus Tips: 1) When working on something important, put your phone on silent and either put it in another room or face down on your desk. 2) Consider turning off notifications and instead just check certain apps at particular points in the day. I’ve personally turned off all notifications from Facebook, Instagram and all audible email pushes.


For more brutally honest personal development content designed for those who actually want to change be sure to subscribe to my YouTube Channel and to follow me on Instagram. And to receive my free eBook on 5 Simple Daily Hacks For A Genuinely Happier Life click HERE.

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