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4 Questions To Ask Yourself About Your Partner To See If You’re In A Healthy Relationship

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The other day I was teaching a business course to holistic professionals when we started to talk about partnership.

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It’s typical for people new to business to think, “Well – partnering’s a great idea. I mean two people are better than one… And then you’re not alone.”

What they don’t realize is that the wrong partnership can drag you down and give you double the work and trouble than going about your entrepreneurial dreams alone.

The same is true in your romantic relationships.

At the beginning the pure fuel of excitement sustains the relationship, and it’s the same with a new business partnership: The initial excitement can delude reality.

The beginning of any attraction can do that.

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But within a few days, weeks, or sometimes it takes months — reality sets in. This is when the strength of a relationship is truly built and tested.

Sometimes the friction has people breaking up immediately. Sometimes this is the smartest decision.

But breaking up too soon can end up creating a pattern where you give up on something good before you’ve learned what you needed to learn.

Sometimes what you need to learn is how to work through challenges and rise up stronger than had you forfeited the relationship.

On the flipside, many people stay in a relationship for too long out of fear. The fears can range from not wanting to be alone, to not wanting to start over, to a sense of misplaced loyalty… Because let’s face it — if you’re trying to be loyal to somebody else when in your gut you know you should end the relationship, you’ve lost loyalty to yourself.

The longer you stay in a relationship that you keep questioning, the greater the confusion can grow. Especially if you’ve had several hunches that it’s time to end it but you keep questioning your gut, it will become increasingly more difficult  to hear your intuition and to make a decision from your deep inner knowing of what’s right.

Confusion can paralyze you from making a decision. Conflicting desires about what you want, deserve, and believe you can receive from a relationship can keep you stuck in a relationship that’s mediocre, or strong in only one area but isn’t lifting you up to be all that you can be.

In business, your business partner should have the same vision and mission as you. You both need to have the same work ethic, and complementary strengths will help balance you both out, creating a more harmonious unfolding and growth of your business. When you and your partner are both grooving toward the same desire with equal and congruent strength, you’ll move further and help each other grow more than you would alone.

Au contraire — your partner can become a burden to you if they’re not carrying their load of the partnership. Worse case scenario, they siphon out your life force if their inability to carry their weight ends up weighing heavy on you.

Not only are you left doing double the work, now you have someone else to take care of, along with the anxiety of figuring out how to work this out. The tremendous amount of energy it takes to maintain a partnership with the wrong partner can kill your business.

Likewise, staying in the wrong romantic relationship can drain all your energy, leaving you in a weaker state than if you were alone. And that can impact every other area of your life.

So when is it better to be alone?

Here Are Four Questions To Ask Yourself About Your Partner:

  1. Do you share the same values? Have you ever discussed your values or what you want for yourselves in 6 months, a year, or five years? If only one of you can answer this question, this may be an indication that you’re not on congruent wavelengths.
  1. Are you both willing and desiring to put the same amount of energy into the relationship? If only one of you is planning dates or trying to figure out when you’ll hang out together, that’s the equivalent of a business partnership where only one party is planning the direction of the business while the other goes out and plays golf.

It’s not fair and it does not help the growth of the relationship. So if you find that you’re the only one putting in the effort of planning things together, it’s time to step back, and even possibly step out of the relationship. If only one of you are fueling the fire and that fuel decides to shut off, the relationship will burn out – almost naturally.

  1. Does the relationship give you a sense of comfort and peace that helps you recover after a hard day? Or does it fill you with anxiety and heaviness over your already full plate? In business, your business partner should be a sense of comfort. From time to time you’ll simply need to mastermind together or vent about the awful customer you had to deal with. But when your business partner becomes the object of anxiety and the person you need to vent about, this person who’s supposed to be helping you move forward is actually dragging you down. This person who was supposed to help you carry the weight has become the weight.

The same is true in intimate relationships.

I’m certainly not talking about if somebody gets sick or is going through a difficult time and needs support. In those times our natural tendency is a desire to support the other person and usually we feel energized by helping the other person we care dearly for.

What I am talking about is when the other person is siphoning out your life force. Instead of being able to come home after a hectic day and be able to relax, night after night and week after week this person continues to drain your energy and fill you with anxiety even after several attempts to clearly communicate what you need in order to feel relaxed. At this point, your partner is draining you and not lifting you up to be all that you can be.

  1. And finally, do you inspire each other? Do you have fun together? Are you excited to be in partnership with this person?

Sure, we all need our space, and time alone. That’s a healthy component to any relationship. However if you find that you’re happier, more energized, and able to push further in your life’s vision, mission, and purpose alone – then it’s time to rethink your relationship.

Sometimes you might choose counselling, and other times, deep in your heart, your intuition will clearly let you know, that right now, the right path forward to become who you’re meant to be is to leave the relationship, no matter how painful or in love you are with this person.

Often in business, we may jump into partnership with a best friend, someone we dearly love who simply does not make the right business partner. The same is true in intimate relationships. We can love and care about somebody, and even feel like they’re our soul mate, and yet they are not the right life-partner for our journey forward.

If you’re reading these words and feel a sense of “Oh gosh – that’s how I feel,” it’s a sign to lovingly part ways and move forward on your path.

For extra inspiration get a copy of  Soulful Entrepreneurship which explores 7 soulful principles to manifesting your creative work. Plus, get a copy of a free meditation audio and workbook to achieving your dreams at www.tovapayne.com – simply sign up to get your copy delivered to your inbox.

 

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Alternative News

What The ‘MAGA Hat Kid’ Story Really Teaches Us

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    The mainstream media spread a story about a kid and his friends surrounding a native elder even though the story was taken out of context and was false. However, there is MUCH we can learn from this story.

  • Reflect On:

    Are we truly gaining from getting caught up in race-baiting and racial divide? Is the mainstream media purposefully misinforming people? Is it time to take a step back and look at life from a more nuanced position?

The story associated with the image featured above went viral a couple of days ago. There are many reasons for this, but likely not what you might think. And that is the discussion I wish to have in this article.

A very short video clip and image, both entirely out of context, were released to the internet showing a picture media has been painting for a very long time. We apparently saw a racist group of kids taunting and intimidating a native elder. In its limited length, it was tough to look at as what it was saying certainly wasn’t good. However, that wasn’t the truth.

When I first saw this image I decided to do research as my initial thought was that it was entirely out of context. I know this because the mainstream media and many famous influencers on Instagram have been making false stories viral for years now about subjects that incite divide and misplaced racism.

This happens at the media level because journalists have been aggressively following the political social engineering of our modern times and are very often concerned with being FIRST to the press about a story – even if that means having the story wrong. Influencers fall into the trap of wanting likes and to be first to get a story out as in many cases they are after growth and feeling righteous through their platform. Of course, this isn’t everyone, but it is certainly seen in our culture.

As I researched this story more I began to see a completely different truth. Thanks to citizen journalists who began digging for the truth and eventually found multiple FULL videos of the event in question, we saw what really happened. Instead of covering those fine details as I’d rather get into some deeper messages here, for those that don’t know what actually happened, please check out this video then come back and read. We have been lied to, and there is a very clear reason for it.

Social Engineering

I have been pointing out for over 2 years now, that slowly but surely fake news media and unconscious IG influencers are building racism and divide into people in a big way via one-sided or false stories. We’re seeing the fruit of years of that unconsciousness in today’s day and age.

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We have a very important rule here at Collective Evolution when it comes to reporting: when something hugely viral happens, wait a couple of days, the truth will begin to emerge. Report on it then.

This is because at CE we are concerned with truth. Not virality and drama. We are interested in how we can consciously and empathetically understand a story from a deeper level vs just making a ton of rash assumptions without thinking or seeing the full story. This is precisely what most people did when it comes to the story with the kid in the MAGA hat; we collectively made rash assumptions with no interest in seeking truth. Because we have been socially engineered to do so.

Here’s What We Learned

1. The media has no interest in telling you the truth.

They knowingly lied to the public, virally, without taking the time to perform some proper journalism. How is it that a publication (Us) with very limited resources knows to hold off and wait for more information on a story when the rich and powerful mainstream media runs with it, effectively lying and dividing the public? You can figure that one out yourself I’m sure.

2. We as a society can spread fake news FAST.

When we don’t take responsibility for our lives and our actions, which is the ONLY way to create a better world, we rely on the government and media to tell us what to do. Thus, we don’t research what they say enough, so we spread fake news as they are the main perpetrators of it.

3. We are not a nuanced culture that is concerned with empathetically understanding a situation.

Even if the story were true, and those kids approached and surrounded the elders, how does it makes sense to destroy the lives of those 15 and 16-year-old kids via public shaming? Why do we not ask these questions? Why do we not try to understand what really happened from both sides?

4. We have been socially engineered to hate and divide one another by race. The Elite’s divide and conquer plan is working.

The best way to win a war is to divide the enemy. Further, the best way to control a society and convince them they need to be governed by parents is to keep them lost and divided, so they cannot unite. this is precisely what is happening to us, and we’re playing into it.

5. We as a whole are not emotionally intelligent.

We talk about this constantly hear on CE. We MUST develop emotional intelligence if we want to get to the truth. When events like this occur and people move into outrage, they are not only showing a lack of emotional intelligence but they are blinding themselves from the truth. The elite thrives off of an emotionally engaged and emotionally uncontrolled population, it’s why they excite so much emotion at all times. Through emotionally intelligence comes empathy.

6. Many cultures and races are hateful and racist.

I personally don’t think racism is anywhere near as big a problem as many are making it out to be, again, divide and conquer. However, growing up in the multicultural city of Toronto and seeing what I see online today from all cultures, every culture has a small percentage of racism within it, not just white people as the narrative seems to want to promote. The question is, are we unknowingly growing that percentage?

7. Our outside world is giving us a chance to see if we like where extremism, race pride, race baiting and unconsciousness is taking us. Does it feel good? Is it helping?

As I pointed out in the red highlighted #7. These events serve as an opportunity for us to wake up. Wake up to the fact that we are purposefully being misled. We are being engineered to divide and hate each other by race via political agendas because when we are divided we can be controlled. We are also being deeply misled into forms of race pride that I believe are VERY destructive to the fabric of our society & world.

So I ask, do we want to play this game? Do we want to hate? Be on edge? Does it feel good? Is life getting better? It’s a time to step back and choose what game you want to play. Live from the heart? Or the mind?

Remember, this is less about seeking right and wrong, and more about asking the bigger question… are we headed down a helpful path here? Truly observe what our unconsciousness and fundamentalism in identities is creating. All you have to reflect on within yourself is if it feels good to you and if you wish to choose the continuation of this game. If we all make our choice, it either stops or continues. Don’t worry about others’ choice… Feel your own.

The Takeaway

This event reflects our current state of consciousness as a collective. Within it, we have so much opportunity to learn. See the emotions that come up, truly understand what you are feeling then let them go. From that state, have a look at this story again, the full story, what do you see now?

If we truly wish to solve the challenges at hand, we must become more emotionally intelligent, grounded, present and less identified with our physical world. take a step back, expand your consciousness, and have the courage to view our world from a neutral lens to understand truth.

Help Support Collective Evolution

The demand for Collective Evolution's content is bigger than ever, except ad agencies and social media keep cutting our revenues. This is making it hard for us to continue.

In order to stay truly independent, we need your help. We are not going to put up paywalls on this website, as we want to get our info out far and wide. For as little as $3 a month, you can help keep CE alive!

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Consciousness

Supermoon Total Eclipse In Leo: Making Changes To Support Our Self-Expression

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We are having a Total Lunar Eclipse, commonly referred to as a ‘Blood Moon’, which will appear in its totality on the night of January 20th leading into morning of the 21st in the western world. It was also be a Supermoon which is when it appears larger due to its closer proximity to the Earth. The entire eclipse process from beginning to end will be visible from the Americas as well as parts of Northern Europe and parts of the European West Coast, including the UK.

It will also appear in totality throughout Western Europe, most of Central Europe, Western Africa, and parts of Russia. It will appear partially in the Middle East, Africa, parts of Russia, and the Northern half of Japan. It will peak at 5:16am Universal Time (12:16 EST), and will begin just over 2 hours prior. You can click here to see what that is in your time zone.

This Lunar Eclipse follows a Solar Eclipse in Capricorn that occurred on January 5th/6th and initiated this lunar cycle. The energies of each Eclipse generally plays out over the following 6 months and can begin up to 6 weeks prior. However, they are also part of a 2 year process in which the Lunar Nodes and other Eclipses are in the same signs.

This eclipse season has the energies of the Eclipse/Lunar Node process that began two years ago in the Leo/Aquarius axis and also the new process in the Cancer/Capricorn axis in which we have been transitioning into. This Blood Moon in Leo marks the final Eclipse of the Leo/Aquarius re-orientation, and it’s possible that the themes that play out in your life can be connected to something that has already been playing out.

Total Lunar Eclipse In Leo Opposite Sun in Aquarius & Mercury, Square Uranus

A Lunar Eclipse is a supercharged Full Moon which is when the Earth gets in the way of the Sun’s light and dims it during its climax. This reflects a furthering shift in our lives in relation to the Leo-Aquarius polarity.

Leo is about our individual self-expression, what brings us joy, and inspiration from the heart. It is also associated with creativity, performing, passion, children, romance, hobbies, and leadership. Leo is about what makes us great as individuals.  This sign is also associated with the ego and the eclipses that have been occurring here can help to facilitate changes in how we express our ego.

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Although Aquarius has individualistic qualities that it shares with Leo, it is also the sign of friends, groups, social networks, the team, and humanity. It views the unique and authentic qualities of an individual as an important and contributing factor to the collective. Aquarius is also intellectual, progressive, and innovative. It can be aloof, overly objective, too scientific, dispassionate, impersonal, and detached.

This eclipse process over the last few years can reflect changes in how we apply both Leo and Aquarius qualities, and also how they correlate with each other. The focus is more about stepping into Leo energies in new ways, and changes on the Aquarian side to help support that. Both beginnings and endings around themes connected to both signs can occur.

Similarly to the Last Lunar Eclipse in the Summer, this one (along with Mercury) is in a square with Uranus on the Aries/Taurus cusp. Uranus here emphasizes change as well as the individualistic qualities of both of these signs, while also sharing other Aquarian themes as well.

Being in a square, it can also manifest in a challenging or strong way. It can be separative, rebellious, or disruptive. Perhaps sudden and unexpected things can play out, or bring instability to an area of our life. It can also be liberating and revolutionary for us. With Mercury here on the South Node, this could also indicate changing or releasing something connected to the way we think or communicate.

Venus Conjunct Jupiter, Square Neptune

Venus in Sagittarius is moving towards a conjunction with Jupiter, while they are both in a square with Neptune in Pisces and a trine with Mars in Aries. This energy can be expansive and fortunate socially, romantically, and for some people financially. Fun and pleasure can be connected to things like travel, education, or even spiritual and creative pursuits.

However, their can also be some confusion around these area as well. Being excessive around indulgences, pleasures, spending money, escapism, intoxication, or anything fantasy based can also be a theme. This energy is strongest from January 21st-22nd.

Mars Square Saturn & Trine Jupiter, Saturn Sextile Neptune

Mars is in a square with Saturn while moving towards a trine with Jupiter. Saturn is also in a sextile with Neptune. This can be a great energy for taking disciplined or structured action towards goals, aspirations, ideals, or anything that broadens our horizons.

Saturn pushes us to be realistic and cautious in how we take action while Jupiter reflects acting in an expansive way. Saturn can also bring some restrictions or obstacles which can help us change our course towards something more ideal. Much of these energies mentioned in this section are strong from January 20th-26th.

Mercury Approaching Superior Conjunction With Sun

Mercury joins the Sun on January 29th/30th in its ‘Superior Conjunction’ with the Sun. From our perspective on Earth, this is when Mercury is aligned with the Sun however it is on the other side of it. From this period onward, it is initiating its next phase in which it travels ahead of the Sun. We can have greater clarity regarding what has been building up or seeded since late November.

Our minds can be more aligned with our true needs and self-expression. Over the coming months, we can better implement our ideas and whatever we have been thinking about with greater confidence/direction in comparison to the previous two months.

To Consider During This Period

How can you better tap into your authentic self-expression? What inspires you and brings you joy? How can you bring more love into your life? What do need to change to make that happen? What do you want to create? Do you need to separate or liberate from something that is holding you back? How can you expand socially in way that is supportive of your authentic self? How can you make your ideals and dreams a reality? How do you feel during this eclipse period and what has been coming up for you?

These are just some examples of things to consider but not limited to them either. If you decide to use this energy to intentionally release something from your life, it is best to start that after the Moon begins to wane after the peak of the Full Moon, or even over the following two weeks.

The exact moment of the peak will be at 5:16am Universal Time on January 21st. You can click here to see what that is in your time zone. If the eclipse is visible in your location, remember that it begins approximately two hours before the peak and two hours following, and also depends on what time the Moon rises and sets in your location.

Follow me on INSTAGRAM, FACEBOOK, and YOUTUBE for more astrology related content.

astrology, astrology readings, carmen di luccio

Looking for astrological insight into what is going on in your life? Or perhaps looking to better understand your life and its potentials? Get a personalized astrology reading with Carmen (author of this article) specific to you based on your exact birth date, time, and location. Click here for more information or to order.

Help Support Collective Evolution

The demand for Collective Evolution's content is bigger than ever, except ad agencies and social media keep cutting our revenues. This is making it hard for us to continue.

In order to stay truly independent, we need your help. We are not going to put up paywalls on this website, as we want to get our info out far and wide. For as little as $3 a month, you can help keep CE alive!

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Consciousness

Some Tips To Help You Unwind Your Busy Monkey Mind

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Many of us are unable to relax entirely, as we rush through our days with constant mental chatter and to-do lists on our minds. However, there are relaxing techniques that are easy to implement throughout the day to help us calm our “monkey minds."

  • Reflect On:

    Taking more time to be still, step away from the busyness of life, and learning to unwind helps us feel more grounded and less scattered — thus positively impacting all areas of our lives.

Most people believe relaxing activities are only done in the evenings, and should be grouped in categories, scheduled, or put in an evening “routine,” as if it’s simply another item to check off your “to-do” list.

The good news? You don’t have to wait until the evening to unwind and relax. In fact, you shouldn’t. You deserve to feel grounded in your center and a sense of peace all day, not for just a few hours at the end of your day. You shouldn’t have to, and you absolutely do not have to and mustn’t do so. It is time to do away with the philosophy that it is only safe to entertain the idea of relaxation at the very end of your day, after spending the large majority of your waking hours walking through the day scattered, stressed, anxious, drained, ungrounded and thrown about. You deserve more, and there’s a way to get there. There is a way to unwind that busy, chaotic monkey mind which owns most of your waking hours and is not aligned with your true nature, or the place deep within where stillness and serenity reside. 

Understandably, this may seem quite impossible once you’ve trained your body and mind to operate in a “go, go, go” mode without any sense of stillness.

The thing is though, you don’t have to take time off or become a monk … you can rest in stillness while doing the same things you’re currently doing — and an added bonus to the already amazing benefit of not living a frantic life is that everything you do will be of higher quality. I think you’ll find that all other aspects of life outside of work (relationships, health, etc.) will dramatically improve as a result.

So, here are some tips for unwinding that busy “monkey mind” not only in the evenings, but throughout the day too:

  • Start your day with a “mental dump.” Write out all the things you need to do in a notebook. This relieves a lot of stress, and by getting it all down on paper, you typically realize most of it is just mind made and you really only need to make one or two things your priorities. There is zero reason to even stress about the rest.
  • Every so often, ideally once an hour if you can, set aside as little as 3-5 minute blocks of times for stillness and silence throughout your day. Meditate or go outside and sit in nature or take a walk (which, of course, are also forms of meditation). This will help you return to your core and stay more rooted throughout the day. 
  • Engage in creative activity or “play”: Do something purely for the pleasure of doing it, do it just for fun, with no end goal in mind. An aside: unstructured time for “play” (an activity done purely for fun rather than to gain something from it), is said to be crucial to your creative process. So, if you’re an artist of any type and you’re feeling “blocked,” just keep this in mind. You might just need some unstructured time to enjoy whatever you feel like enjoying at any given moment without having to justify it.
  • Almost all articles on anxiety and insomnia suggest putting away all electronic devices or turning them off completely for the night. Though many of us may find this difficult given our heavy reliance on technology, it is crucial to shut your devices off before bed as they can reduce melatonin production.

If you have difficulty shutting your phone off entirely, you could try a few other remedies including using blue light filters on your devices, avoiding news outlets or anything that will get a rise out of you, and avoiding violent movies and shows before bed. 

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And if you read at night, there is one thing that has helped me immensely —only read fiction, or less stimulating material. Avoid books and magazines that make you want to be more productive, stimulate new ideas prompting your mind to do anything but unwind, and instead just enjoy some good old fiction. Although it’s important to read and educate ourselves, I’ve found that stimulating my brain with this content before bed can reduce my sleep quality. 

Meditation is, of course, the number one most suggested method for taming the monkey mind. However, sitting still for someone with a scattered brain can be difficult. One method to troubleshoot this and not feel like you have to discipline yourself to ‘meditate for 20 minutes straight in the lotus position’ is to just sit down, close your eyes and take 10 deep breaths. After all, you can do anything for 10 breaths, right?

The Takeaway

Whatever you do during your free time, savor the pleasure of the process rather than thinking of the end goal. In fact, who cares if you even reach the end goal? Who cares if you even have one? Let’s just go ahead and throw the whole idea of a goal in regards to this topic away … lest we wish to possibly defeat our purpose. 

What are your tips and life hacks for unwinding your monkey mind when it gets the best of you? 

Help Support Collective Evolution

The demand for Collective Evolution's content is bigger than ever, except ad agencies and social media keep cutting our revenues. This is making it hard for us to continue.

In order to stay truly independent, we need your help. We are not going to put up paywalls on this website, as we want to get our info out far and wide. For as little as $3 a month, you can help keep CE alive!

SUPPORT CE HERE!

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