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I Was Living The “American Dream” Then Had A Stroke At Age 30 & It Turned My Life Around

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Apparently surviving a stroke that took half my eyesight and almost killed me would turn out to be one of the greatest blessings of my life. Before I get into how all that transpired, I need to give a little background on how it got to that point.

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Growing up, my parents took the same approach to life that most people growing up in the United States could relate to. Their plan for my three younger siblings and me was simple: Go to school and get good grades so you can go to a good college. Then get a good job and make a lot of money so you can have nice things and then you’ll be happy. This was the mantra that I, like many other kids in the U.S., grew up with; the American Dream. I followed the guidelines and my years of hard work finally paid off when I landed a job working for a Fortune 500 company in Rockefeller Center, Manhattan.

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Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be a professional businessman. I wanted to wear nice suits, work in an office with breathtaking views of the Manhattan skyline, dine in fancy restaurants, and date women outside of my Long Island gene pool. Each of these I had achieved more and more year after year as I slowly clawed my way up the corporate ladder. One job change, a couple moves from Long Island to Queens then the Upper West side of Manhattan, a few raises and promotions after almost a decade in the corporate finance realm, and I finally got to the point where I felt like I had “made it.”

However, when I got to that point I still wasn’t completely satisfied. In fact, I only wanted more. Then I saw an opportunity to move further up in the ranks when my director informed me that she would be leaving the company. This was the opportunity I was waiting for! I asked for and received more responsibility along with a sizeable increase to my salary. This eventually transpired into a “be careful what you wish for” situation. In the coming months I felt the responsibilities and workload piling up with no relief in sight. So began the silent war within myself that would lead to the event that shattered all that I had built for myself my entire life.

I worked longer and harder than I ever had in order to prove myself. In doing so, my life became completely imbalanced with the scale always weighted toward work. Over the next six months my stress and anxiety levels were higher than ever trying to keep up with my new workload, as the company had not yet found a suitable replacement to fill the empty role in the finance department. My mind began to turn against me and I felt as if I were stuck in the trenches of my work-related stress even when I left the office. Luckily at this point I was about to go on vacation with my girlfriend at the time to visit her parents, who had retired to a small village in Mexico. It was my first time visiting the country and I was delighted by the relaxed and care-free attitude of the locals and blown away by the beautiful beaches and nature that I immersed myself in. This was the vacation I needed! But all good things must come to an end, so on New Year’s Day 2014, we were dropped off at the airport to head back to New York City, or so we thought.

At the airline service counter, I was handed my boarding pass to return home. In that exact moment, I felt a sharp pain on my left temple like I had never experienced before in my life. I shut my eyes, grabbed my head, and let out a grunt. When I opened them, half my vision was gone and everything was blurry. Something was very wrong. I let my girlfriend know what was happening and that I was pretty sure I was having a stroke. I told her to get an ambulance immediately. I lay down where I was, drank some water, and began vomiting as my body convulsed on the floor of the airport. As the paramedics arrived, I began to feel a tingling sensation run throughout the right side of my body and I was starting to lose control of basic motor functions and consciousness. It was in this moment that for the first time in my life I thought to myself, “I might die.” I’ve been afraid before, but nothing could compare to the feeling I had on the floor of the airport on New Year’s Day 2014. The paramedics hooked me up to an IV and took me to the nearest hospital, which was luckily just down the road from the airport.

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I was fortunate to survive with only having partial vision loss and no nerve damage. It was only when returning to New York would I realize the cause of my brain injury. The doctors at Cornell discovered a hole (PFO) inside my heart, which caused the blood clot in my brain. Not too longer after diagnosis, I was on the operating table in Columbia Hospital to remedy the situation. I never thought I’d be having heart surgery in my early thirties. My, how life is full of surprises!

Readjusting to city life after a stroke and heart surgery was by no means easy. At first, it was really bad. I had trouble physically getting around the crowded streets of New York City with only half my eyesight. My personality had changed drastically, as I had become more solemn. My relationships with my girlfriend, family, friends, and co-workers had all shifted to some awkward place that I was unfamiliar with, each in their own way. Invoking intimacy was not what it used to be, as my sex drive was stuck in first gear. I was nowhere near as fun and positive as I used to be when hanging out with friends and family. I had difficulty focusing so my performance at work suffered a great deal as well. My weekly therapy sessions proved to help temporarily, but my mind would constantly return to dark places. After a year of living this new life as a man I was no longer familiar with and didn’t even want to be around, the thoughts of leaving the planet began to cross my mind for the first time ever. That really scared me, so I did something I promised myself I would never do: go on medication.

I went on antidepressants and was also given Xanax that I was instructed to take only when my anxiety levels become unbearable. After just a few days, I levelled out. My depression was gone and my anxiety was non-existent. There was just one little problem: I didn’t really feel anything. Everything was just “fine.” If something good happened, my emotional response was “That’s fine.” Something bad happened? Also fine. At first I was so glad to have rid myself of crippling depression and anxiety that I was satisfied with living as a flesh-covered robot. That lasted only a couple of months. After a while I saw that I was rapidly dismantling into a highly functioning soulless drone. Was this better than living as the strung-out anxiety-ridden person I was before? Were there no other options for me to choose for continuing on with my life?

Related CE Article: Study Finds That Big Pharma Completely Lied About Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors For Depression

After picking up my prescription pills for the third month in a row, I hit the gym and when I got home later that evening, I realized they had slipped out of a hole in the bottom of my gym bag. I took this as a sign and decided to try going off of my meds cold-turkey. I fought through the withdrawals following the first few days then started to feel really human again. At this point in time, it was a little over a year after I survived the stroke and it became abundantly clear that I had a choice between pushing on with the usual day to day or maintaining my sanity. I chose my sanity. It was early 2015 when I officially decided I would quit my job to travel and figure things out somewhere else in the world. I immediately began downsizing my life. Most of my possessions were sold, donated, given away, or put in storage. With each item that left my possession, I felt physically and emotionally lighter, as if I were dropping off weights I had been carrying on my shoulders for years. That’s when I began the journey that would change my life forever.

In the summer of 2015 I bought an RV and my girlfriend, dog, and I decided to leave the corporate world behind and start anew in Mexico. After three months, a ten thousand mile road trip, and just over a month living together in the foreign country, it became apparent to us that our relationship of over three years was not going to work any longer. After it sunk in that everything we were planning for the future fell apart, I was completely lost. At least when I was in New York I had the comfort and stability of my job, family, friends, home country, and a language I was fluent in. Now I fell into yet another dark place, but not for long! I was determined to make the best of my situation, so I grabbed a backpack and began solo travelling for the first time in my life!

In the first month, I was just winging it and hopping on buses to the next stop on the backpacker trail of mid-western Mexico. This was a great experience where I met tons of friendly locals, expats, and travellers from all over the world. For the next phase of my travels, I decided to do a bit more planning. I was still hurting from my break-up and needed some physical, mental, and spiritual healing. So the next phase of my trip included an Ayahuasca ceremony in the Pueblo Mágico of Tepoztlán. My experience with Ayahuasca was very introspective and I kept receiving the same message over and over again: “You are on the right path.”

Next was a ten-day silent Vipassana meditation retreat in Coatepec, Veracruz, another Pueblo Mágico. This was one of the most difficult yet profoundly enlightening experiences I’ve ever gone through. Ten days of being silent and meditating for eleven hours a day really helped silence my mind and take control of my thoughts and actions.

The last stop in my second walkabout was a month-long work exchange stay at a holistic healing retreat center called The Sanctuary in Puerto Escondido, Oaxaca. Here it took just a few days at for me to realize that the Ayahuasca was right. I was on the right path! I learned new meditation techniques, was doing yoga every day, got a crash course on preparing meals for a high-raw vegan lifestyle, and shared the community house with extraordinary people from all walks of life. We worked, chanted, communed in nighttime ceremonies, shared our most intimate thoughts and feelings, and even cried together. This was exactly what I needed! Not too long after arriving, I ended up joining the team as general manager and The Sanctuary became my home for the next six months. During that time, I helped guide dozens of people through that chapter of their life’s journey, an experience I’ll never forget! It was here where I learned that truly spiritual people are those who have been through hell and have the overwhelming desire to help others out of their own versions of it.

After The Sanctuary, I was presented with the ultimate traveller moneymaking opportunity: trimming marijuana in Northern California, so I took it. I spent the next two months hunched over a table as a pot hairdresser. Once again, it was the people I was surrounded by that made the experience a memorable one. Nothing helps the time fly like sharing stories, listening to our favourite music, and laughing together around the fireplace at night when our fingers needed to rest.

With California in my rearview, I made a stop in New York to visit friends and family before heading to Puerto Rico. This was the home of a girl I fell in love with during my time in Mexico. The connection we forged during our short time together was different than any other in my entire life. It was based on a love and respect for who the other person was at their core as opposed to who we wanted them to be. Though the relationship would not continue after my visit, she without a doubt raised the bar in my ongoing search for a partner in life.

Once again I was leaving a piece of my heart behind and continued on with my travel journey! I flew into Cancún and worked my way slowly back to the beach city that helped heal my heart better than any other: Puerto Escondido. This trip was more about the journey than the destination for sure. In the Yucatan peninsula I witnessed and scaled massive ancient Mayan pyramids. While in Tulum I participated in a beautiful and emotional peyote ceremony where I took an even deeper look into the inner workings of my mind. In Palenque, I became one with nature after consuming the local magical mushrooms and bathing in the jungle’s mystical waterfalls near the ruins. As usual, sharing these experiences with travel mates amplified my experience. At this point I was a certified travel junky and never wanted it to end! Good thing I was going to nest in a beach paradise and backpacking hotspot.

Back in Puerto Escondido, I stayed in a Vivo Escondido Hostel for a month until I found a
long-term rental. You guessed it… more awesome people!

I ended up at a gorgeous newly-constructed two-story house where I would spend the next six months pursuing passions that I had been neglecting for years. I learned to surf, explored the local natural beauty, focused on healthy living, caught up on my travel blog, wrote a few articles, DJed at multiple venues, and made sure to enjoy every day as best I could. Mexico gave me the opportunity to let me live my life the way I wanted to for a while without any judgment, and for that I am forever grateful.

Just a few months ago, I took a two and a half week visa-run/vacation to Guatemala to visit my friend Luke Maguire Armstrong in San Marcos. He and I met while I was managing the Sanctuary in Puerto Escondido the year before and ever since becoming friends, I grew ever more curious of his work with a school for impoverished children in Antigua, Guatemala. I spent my first two weeks immersing myself in the raw beauty of the active volcano communities surrounding Lake Atitlán where he lived. Here I would partake in yoga, cacao ceremonies, ecstatic dance at the Yoga Forestand even Bhakti singing at The Fungi Academy. All activities of course were shared with new and exciting traveller friends of various nationalities. For the finale of my stay, I even booked myself a DJ gig at Bar Sublime, a quick ten-minute boat ride across the lake to San Pedro.

After bidding farewell to my new friends I met on the lake, Luke and I headed to Antigua to visit the Integral Heart Foundation’s school. Though I had been helping remotely with fundraising efforts for months before visiting, actually meeting the children I was helping made it much more personal for me. It was incredibly heartwarming to actually see the children in person, knowing the adverse environment they had come from not too long ago. None of them were going to school and many were forced to rummage through garbage dumps for pennies a day due to difficult circumstances. No wonder these were the happiest school kids I had ever met in my life!

A couple days later, I said goodbye to Luke and the kids to return to Puerto Escondido. However, when I got back a shift happened within me and I slipped into another depression. I began to question what I really wanted and needed in my life. I missed my friends and family back home and my funds were starting to run low. After a month of self-reflection, I decided it was time to return to New York.

So now I have come full circle… kind of. Over the course of a little more than two years I have had more adventures and experienced more of what this incredible world has to offer than most people do their entire lives. It’s comical for me to look back at all that happened, remember living in my own personal hell for so long, and to see how far I’ve come since those times of intense despair. It was like a mental quicksand; the more I struggled, the deeper I would sink into it. Of all the lessons I’ve learned, my greatest one is probably this: My mind can be my worst enemy or greatest ally. In the end, I am the one who gets to choose which one it will be. I had to journey into the unknown and experience life firsthand to personally integrate this lesson myself. My experiences and the hundreds of connections I made along the way were what really saved my life. Without them, I don’t even want to begin to think about where I would be right now. I still have no vision on my right peripheral, but I can once again see a beautiful future for myself, something I had lost immediately following the stroke.

In over two years of travelling I have had many revelations, but none more important than
this: At the very core of my being, I am a traveller. It is one of the few things in life that makes me feel truly alive. By travelling, I saw for myself that so much of what I thought I knew about foreign cultures was wrong until I experienced them firsthand.

Meeting people from all corners of the Earth gave me a new perspective on life. I realized
that although we may have been born thousands of miles away, were raised in completely
different cultures, and in many instances didn’t speak the same native tongue, none of us were that different from each other. In fact, many of us were on our own personal quests searching for a deeper meaning in life.

Living and working in New York City for a decade had put me in contact with people from
all over the world. This, however, was completely different from my experiences travelling, as most Manhattanites had found their way and were usually more focused on their careers than soul-searching. In my personal experiences with the people I’ve encountered, those who travel are seekers, searching for something that was missing in their lives back home. For me, I was missing a greater purpose, something that my fundraising efforts with the Integral Heart Family in Guatemala fulfills.

The best part of my story called life thus far is that it is nowhere close to being complete. I still have many more chapters to write, thousands of new characters to meet, and countless adventures to experience. In over two years of travel, the greatest gifts I have received were the connections I have made with my soul tribe from all corners of the Earth. I left New York to heal myself and find a higher purpose and I feel that I have accomplished these goals. In my experience living over thirty-four years on this planet, I have found no greater healer than creating deep and meaningful connections with other souls. This lesson I promised myself to follow through with and spread to as many other people as possible. What better place to continue this journey than New York!

Dive Deeper

These days, it’s not just knowing information and facts that will create change, it’s changing ourselves, how we go about communicating, and re-assessing the underlying stories, ideas and beliefs that form our world. We have to practice these things if we truly want to change. At Collective Evolution and CETV, this is a big part of our mission.

Amongst 100's of hours of exclusive content, we have recently completed two short courses to help you become an effective changemaker, one called Profound Realization and the other called How To Do An Effective Media Detox.

Join CETV, engage with these courses and more here!

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Consciousness

CIA Document: “Using Psychic Powers To Break Needles & Make Them Whole Again”

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    A document archived inside of the CIA's electronic reading room shows that a person with gifted "paranormal" abilities was able to break/bend a needle, and then put it back together again without even touching it.

  • Reflect On:

    How much do we not know about ourselves and our abilities? How much do we still have to discover? How much of that would change the way we perceives ourselves, our world and the nature of reality?

If you go to the CIA’s electronic reading room and type in “paranormal” in the search bar, you’ll no doubt find some very interesting documents clearly indicating that people with ‘paranormal’ abilities are indeed real. There are many examples of people with all kinds of abilities, whether it be remote viewing (the ability to accurately describe a remote geographical location), the ability of gifted people and children able to transport a small object inside a closed container to another one that’s outside of that container without touching it (breaking through spatial barriers), or the ability to write on a piece of paper inside of a closed container using nothing but the mind, without even touching the pen (parapsychological writing). These are a few of many examples we’ve written about over the past decade.

The document that pertains to this particular article comes from the CIA archive, approved for release in 2001 but the work was actually published in 1984 from what appears to be a journal titled, Research Into Human Paranormal Capabilities. The document was archived by the CIA and it’s from China. It’s one of a trove of documents archived by the CIA regarding China’s research into paranormal phenomena.

Page 27 of the document outlines “an experiment using psychic powers to break needles and making them whole again.”

There have already been several research reports on experiments on using psychic powers to bend iron and break wooden sticks and making them whole again. This article reports the results of an experiment conducted on using psychic powers to break needles and making them whole again in April of 1981.

In the experiment, the needles were places in a sealed container, and the test subject (the person with paranormal abilities) was observed constantly by more than one person.

We selected at random a steel sewing needle of about 1mm diameter. We used callipers to measure its total length. Then we broke the needle into two parts. We then measured the lengths L1 and L2. The person conducting the experiment kept L2, and L1 was used as the test object. After it was psychically broken, a magnifying glass was used to match up the break between L1 and L2, and the length was checked to make sure it was the same needle. 

Researchers were able to observe that the L1 portion of the needle was broken psychically.

A Picture below from the document shows the broken end of a number 4 needle magnified 50 times. Picture 2 shows the same broken end magnified 1,000 times. Results of the analysis shows that that particular test object was pulled apart and not bent until  broken. According to the document, “this result confirms the reality of breaking needles with psychic powers from yet another aspect.”

In may of 1981 we used an electron scan microscope to analyze the seam of a needle that had been reformed with psychic powers. Picture 3 shows such a seam magnified 1,000 times. The results show that there is only the normal seam lines, and no signs of any welding. This is almost impossible to do using common methods.

We feel that the ability to break and reform needles is a psychic ability which objectively exists, and that further research into this ability, especially into the process of the super-precision reforming, could have major theoretical and practical implications.

The Takeaway:

As the Chinese Institute of Atomic Energy pointed out in 1991, in a study archived by the CIA:

“Such phenomena and paranormal abilities of the human body are unimaginable for ordinary people. Nevertheless they are really true.”

There are a number of examples of gifted people doing extraordinary things, things that are deemed impossible my mainstream academia. Perhaps what we believe about the nature of reality, or what we’ve been made to believe, prevents some minds from being open to such phenomenon, but the fact remains that it’s been studied, observed and documented at the highest levels of government for many years.

We live in an era where we use technological advancements to build weaponry, not to better the Earth and the human experience. In the same way, psychic phenomenon seems to have been studied by governments for intelligence gathering purposes.  These capabilities are not openly studied and resources aren’t made widely available for people to learn. This is perhaps because we as a species are not ready for such realizations. We continue to be driven by greed, profit, fear, and ago. Until we raise our consciousness, the way we perceive ourselves and our world and recognize our deep interconnectedness with all life, until our world is governed by compassion, morals, and the desire for humanity and our planet to thrive, we will never be ready for such gifts. We must evolve, in a spiritual sense, in order to properly move forward. It’s no our discoveries and developments that propel us forward, it’s the consciousness that operates behind those discoveries and developments.

Dive Deeper

These days, it’s not just knowing information and facts that will create change, it’s changing ourselves, how we go about communicating, and re-assessing the underlying stories, ideas and beliefs that form our world. We have to practice these things if we truly want to change. At Collective Evolution and CETV, this is a big part of our mission.

Amongst 100's of hours of exclusive content, we have recently completed two short courses to help you become an effective changemaker, one called Profound Realization and the other called How To Do An Effective Media Detox.

Join CETV, engage with these courses and more here!

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Consciousness

To Those Who Feel Unheard & Misunderstood

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Photo by Khamkéo Vilaysing on Unsplash

I’m sure at some point in your life you may have felt unheard or misunderstood. Whether people actually didn’t ‘hear’ you and misunderstood you, or whether it was just your perception, I’m sure you’ve felt this at some point. But then there are some of us who might have felt this more than just ‘at some point’ in our lives. Those of us that might feel like it happens daily or weekly. Something in our core experience states “people don’t hear me, they don’t understand me and I can’t seem to do anything about that.” I know, because I have felt this many times in my life, and this is currently one of the key aspects of myself I’m integrating.

I’ve long known that this programming and feeling of being unheard is not something that results from things people are doing wrong to me, but that within myself I have a story running that creates a lens through which I see my daily reality. In that sense, in times where I truly am heard and understood, I don’t see it, and instead, my brain looks for ways to prove that I am not heard.

This is the basic format in which the brain will search our daily lives to reinforce rampant stories we might have running in our minds. All this happens through the brain’s reticular activating system (RAS), a useful system where all senses are connected. It’s like a filter that helps the brain so it doesn’t have to deal with more information than it can handle.

Where this gets a bit more important to our navigation of self is understanding that the RAS is like a gatekeeper of information that is let into the conscious mind. That is to say, the RAS will filter in information that is established in our subconscious, or deeper belief systems. It will also let in something we are really focusing on in a given moment. What this means in context to my story of not being heard, or any story for that matter, is that my RAS is literally operating to reinforce that story already within my subconscious mind. Any information that doesn’t reinforce that story, is likely not going to be let in as easily, hence why even when I’m heard, I don’t acknowledge it as deeply as when I’m feeling unheard or finding ways to reinforce that story.

Example: I might have factually had 10,000 people read an article I wrote, but that doesn’t become something I pay attention to. Instead, I notice the people who didn’t read the article, didn’t understand the article, or the person who left the singular negative comment.

Enough on the technicals for now.

If you’ve watched some of the discussions I have with people on my podcast episodes or shows, you might have noticed times where at the end people begin thanking me for the work I’ve done and how it has impacted them, and usually I well up. This is because when I conduct my conversations I’m really engaged, and in these moments I’m hearing proof of something that is meaningful to me but that a part of me denies. In my subconscious mind and story, I feel unheard, misunderstood, and that people don’t see the totality of the message I’m trying to share with my work.

Regardless of what anyone else might think looking at the billions of content views CE’s content has received over the last 11 years, I still feel unheard. It’s true I didn’t create all the content that’s been seen. It’s true that I can’t lay out my entire mission and message in every piece of content I’ve created. But mostly, I don’t feel heard or understood because of my internal stories – my subconscious stories – not because of what is happening in my life.

This all started when I was a kid, then it went away for a while when I did a lot of internal work on it around 2009, and then it returned around mid-2017 when life got very chaotic and I let stories reprogram my mind.

Some of the earliest memories where these stories began to emerge in my life was when I was in grade 5 and I began telling my friends and classmates that I felt what we were learning in school was not really helping us but making us “brainwashed to accept normal society.” Sounds harsh I know lol. And perhaps most fifth graders don’t think this way, but I did. And I still do feel traditional education is atrocious. That aside, by the time grade 7 and 8 rolled around, my peers were all beginning to really express their style, personality and were adopting pop culture. I didn’t go the ‘pop’ route because it felt uncomfortable and inauthentic to me. This is where the story began.

I was now a visible outsider. I felt that people were adopting pop culture in lockstep because everyone else was, and everyone wanted to fit in. It seemed robotic and weird to me at the time, and quite frankly, I didn’t like how it changed my friends and classmates. People started to put on a persona of being badass, cool, and ‘hard,’ it wasn’t authentic to me and it changed the way my friends would interact together. At the time I called it a mask, now I know it as the ego, but I started to see the false sense of self people would portray and something about it just didn’t feel good.

Because I chose not to go along with the emerging culture, I began to feel lonely. People didn’t listen to me, ask me things, seek to understand me – and they’d talk a lot of shit behind my back. Regardless of how curious I was to speak to them, understand them, and sure, challenge them at times about their choices, I felt it was always a one-way street. It wasn’t long before I went from feeling ‘cool’ and accepted, to feeling like and being treated as a complete outcast. And it’s weird looking back because I wasn’t mean, the class bully or anything like that. I was the guy who wanted everyone to play together, same team!

This experience continued throughout high school. There are many more details, but I’m sure you get the general point by now. But by the time college years came around, I felt like it was a fresh start, and even though I had become very quiet and shy around groups from that experience, I was eager to meet new people.

Fast forward a bit and I found myself beginning to read books about the ego, the subconscious mind, and how to navigate personal change. I met a friend and mentor who took me through many sessions that cleared away old subconscious programs and stories. I felt insanely empowered and unstoppable. Plus, now I knew how to do the work on myself very easily if something else were to arise. This was in 2009, and over the next 8 years, things were smooth on the front of feeling unheard and misunderstood. While people may not have always understood me, it didn’t bother me one bit, and I could see the people who truly appreciated whatever I felt inspired to share.

Then came a period in late 2017 where the biggest tech companies in the world were now descending upon alt media. They literally crippled a business our team took 9 years to build. On top of that, myself and a partner in another business could not align with the intentions and integrity of what we were creating, and I wanted out. It was a stressful time both financially and personally, and slowly but surely I found myself overwhelmed. Usually, I welcome change and love it, but with all that was changing at once, and how devastating the effects seemed, it was too much – or at least that’s how I felt.

After a 3 year life and emotional beat down, I started to feel unwelcome, unaccepted, and again unheard. On top of all that, it felt to me like so many people did not understand the underlying message of the work I was producing and that’s all I could focus on because, again, I built the story and my RAS was filtering out all information that told me otherwise. In this, you start to feel paralyzed. You can’t do anything right, you feel a lack of energy, and purpose feels lost.

A friend recently got me back into looking at old and new methods of exploring these stories again. And in just a few days, I’m already seeing why this inner work had so much power back in 2009. During one of the deeper moments of feeling like shit about all of this, my wife Ruby wrote me a letter that inspired this article and sharing. I wanted to share it with everyone because it resonated with me and was a great reminder to stop, take a breath, and reassess. Of course, doing the inner work is a must.


To the Unheard:

I know your voice and heart are growing tired, your spirit broken, and the moments where you see your purpose are fleeting..

But there’s so much you can not see when your head is down, feeling somber and purposeless.

What my eyes see when you’re not looking:

Someone new found you today.. their face lit up and their heart felt full.. they’ve found someone who speaks their language, understands their views, and carries the same values – who just GETS IT and THEM. They didn’t think it possible, but HERE YOU ARE, providing them hope and helping them envision a future they knew they wanted but didn’t believe was possible. They hear what you have to say, and are excited to listen – with fresh ears and an eager mind, happy to have found your perspective they begin to dive deeper, and tomorrow they are more aware because of it.

Someone else has had a rough year, and with everything going on they didn’t know what to believe – so they began questioning. It’s been months, but they’ve regained their faith in humanity and see the world differently now – because of You. You see, they’ve fallen upon your work and finally found a voice that doesn’t shove beliefs down their throats, but relays facts and lets them discern what’s real. They feel valued, heard, and uplifted – grateful that someone out there cares about so much that they’ve made it their mission to aid in their personal and our collective evolution. They may not know it yet, but this is the start to something completely transformational.

Then there are the ones who have been following you for years. The die-hard loyals that feel more like family than anything. They’re the ‘regulars’ that over time you have met or spoken to and become close with – they see your struggles and feel your pain, but most importantly they see You and value your work because they understand. You helped them through a rough patch, you held their hands whilst taking their first steps into the unknown, you reawakened them after a lifetime of slumber and in return when you were pushed down, they helped you up time and time again because they know you’d do the same if ever the opportunity or need. Your voice is a beacon of light to them, and in return, they follow you to the ends of the internet – knowing you are not there to lead but to show them the path.

And yet..

Every day you awaken and every night you lay your head, a voice is telling you that you are unheard, irrelevant, and falling behind. This voice grows louder and now your days are filled with a belief that is weighing you, and your nights hold a hovering limit that you did not try to surpass.

This voice that you’ve carried has begun to crush your spirit and silence you – little by little, making you question yourself and your creations, making you believe that success is that en masse and that without the world watching you may never truly help humanity..

And I’m just here to tell you: that voice, is wrong.

The voice in your head that fills your life with dread is but a story which needs to be rewritten. Because it is YOUR Voice that needs to be heard.

As you question what the point to all of the hours, months, and years poured into work that ‘no one’ sees.. there are thousands finding truth and themselves in your words.

It is in your character, your heart, your message, and your desire to help the collective that you have already helped so many. For every ‘someone’ that finds you is led down a path of discovery, and that fire you’ve ignited is like a torch passed onto others on their path.. slowly, but surely, setting the world ablaze.

I could go on for eons discussing the battle between ego/the mind and the Soul. But will just say for sake of knowing you know – the falsities playing on loop like a broken record in your head are solely doing so because they are threatened by the reality that your truths are so much more powerful. The only way to disempower You is to make you believe that you have none – and in doing so, your creations halt, you have no drive to bring your visions to life, you feel more and more lost and less and less YOU. You must remember, trust, and BELIEVE that your message holds more weight than any story your mind could ever tell you.

Remember that from infancy you saw this world differently. Never did you succumb to the external validation nor allow your mind to take the wheel – no matter how hard it became. In your teens you knew you had it within you, as you know we all do, to change our world for the better. And though times are trying, it’s time to shake yourself awake from the chains of self-loathing and doubt. This story has played like a rerun of a show you’ve grown tired of.. it’s time to change the channel and reawaken that little boy who knew any and everything was possible and who did not allow the critics, trends, or world to tell him any different or change him in any way. You are so special because you’ve always believed and have always been You – do not let anything take that away, not now – not ever.

It’s always been within you, as it is now, to cultivate something extraordinary and create a real shift on this planet – and whether you believe it or not, the truth is the world is ready and waiting for you to stand tall, lift and hold your head high knowing that this is what you are here to do.

And as you do, there will be those who will cheer, those who will boo, those who are grateful, and those who cast doubt – but in the end, it is about those who hear your call that change their lives and those around them because of you and your work. Focus on and remember these people, however many or however few..

For it is not in the masses that Your voice needs to resound.. but in the many that your voice inspires individually that will ripple onto the mass – as with any true altering frequency.

Know that what you broadcast is different, deeper, of higher purpose, and in return harder to hear and come to – like a dog whistle to the ones here to awaken oneness consciousness, your voice calls to those who are ready to tune in to that frequency – and therefore it is in that depth and consistent tone that you, collectively, will change the world.

All this to say, it may not be heard across the globe at first, but to those who do hear it, you have our attention and We Are Listening.

For it is in the unheard that we believe in something deeper.

I love you. Release all fears, doubts, limits or restraints – Remember Who You Are.✨

– Ruby

Dive Deeper

These days, it’s not just knowing information and facts that will create change, it’s changing ourselves, how we go about communicating, and re-assessing the underlying stories, ideas and beliefs that form our world. We have to practice these things if we truly want to change. At Collective Evolution and CETV, this is a big part of our mission.

Amongst 100's of hours of exclusive content, we have recently completed two short courses to help you become an effective changemaker, one called Profound Realization and the other called How To Do An Effective Media Detox.

Join CETV, engage with these courses and more here!

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Consciousness

CIA Document Demonstrates The Remarkable ‘Paranormal Writing’ Ability of a Gifted Girl

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    A study from China, translated and archived in the CIA's electronic reading room, demonstrates the ability of a gifted girl to physically write on a piece of paper inside a closed container using nothing but her mind.

  • Reflect On:

    How much do we really know about ourselves and what we are capable of?

Do paranormal abilities exist? A bold question we often feel is based on belief and not science. But looking to parameters that can help determine if something is real or not in our world, like peer-reviewed publications, video footage, and the ability to experience something, then yes, paranormal abilities do exist and there are many different examples to choose from that clearly illustrates this.

The funny thing is, these abilities are studied and trained at the highest levels of government and military, yet within academia, it’s almost completely ignored.

As the Chinese Institute of Atomic Energy pointed out in 1991, in a study archived by the CIA:

“Such phenomena and paranormal abilities of the human body are unimaginable for ordinary people. Nevertheless they are really true.”

In the study the Chinese researchers provide multiple examples of a Qi Gong master, who under double-blind controlled conditions, was able to teleport small objects out of containers from one location to another using nothing but mental influence (breaking through spatial barriers). Multiple test subjects were able to do this including gifted children. This is just one example of research and published observation of this type of phenomenon under tight controls.

Another great example and the main subject of this article, comes from a study published in The Chinese Journal of Somatic Sciences by researchers from Fudan University, a major research university located in Shanghai. The study is/was also documented and translated by the CIA at the time, but not approved for release until the year 2000.

The study is titled Investigation Into The Force of Parapsychological Writing. The study explains that parapsychological writing is only one form of paranormal abilities displayed by humans, and cites a “large number of experiments” where this type of phenomenon has been demonstrated and documented repeatedly.

Parapsychological writing includes a number of complex parapsychological phenomenon including moving the writing instrument, breaking through spatial barriers and thought directed writing. These paranormal phenomenon cannot be explained using modern scientific knowledge. However, the recording of paranormal phenomena, especially of the accumulation of data on experiments conducted using strict scientific methods must eventually approach and disclose the truth about this unknown realm.

The study was designed to detect any type of possible “force” that could somehow be measured when gifted people demonstrated their ‘paranormal’ ability. Three experiments to do this were conducted.

The first one used a mechanical balance and a girl named “Little Gi.” The balance had a glass cover and was very sensitive to lightweight objects. On the left plate of the balance, the researchers placed a plastic film canister. Inside that film canister they placed a square of white paper. The lid to the film canister was slightly open. On the right hand side plate of the mechanical balance, they placed a piece of material identical to the weight of the canister with the piece of paper inside it, so the balance would be kept level.

More illustrations are available in the study.

Placed next to the mechanical balance was a concrete slab with a pen on it.

The experiment required Little Gi to use her thoughts to “write” or “draw” on the piece of paper located inside of the film canister with a black ink fountain pen. The results were incredible:

She was to concentrate her thoughts on this to the exception of everything else. We conducted a total of nine experiments, of which three were successful. Each experiment lasted for 15 to 25 minutes. The words and drawings were all black like the ink in the fountain pen used in the experiment. In the three successful experiments, two had clear characters and drawings and the other had fairly blurry circles and dots. Neither of the two observers saw the mechanical balance move at all, demonstrating that the film canister was not under any observable “outside force”.

If you’re floored by the claimed results of this study, you’re certainly not alone. What we’re seeing here is an example that humans may have abilities far beyond what we are aware of today, and that it may be a matter of development for others to realize these abilities.

For me, it would have been interesting if before and after the experiment they examined the ink inside of the pen to determine if it somehow was the source of the writing. But the various pens used had different color ink, and in the next experiment, researchers mention how the ink marks that appeared on paper were both blue and green, just like the ink in the pens.

The second experiment used a thermobalance to try and detect some sort of force generated by the mental will of the subjects. A thermobalance gives a continuous recording of the relationship between mass and temperature. In the experiment, a blank piece of tape was stuck to one of the arms of the thermobalance. The arm was covered with a glass tube to keep air currents from affecting the experiment. Little Ji sat at the edge of a table that was 0.5 meters from the balance with her back turned to the instrument. On the table there was a fountain pen.

The experiment required that the subject use her thoughts to “write” on the white tape with the fountain pen. During the experiment, those administering the experiment always observed the progress of the experiment from the side, and the automatic recorder drew the weight/time graph. Ten experiments were conducted in all, and three of these were successful. Each experiment lated approximately 20 minutes. The “writing” was always dots in the same color as the ink used in the fountain pens in the experiment (green and blue).

Yet another incredible result, but they weren’t done.

The third experiment was similar to the previous two. Only this time it used a piezoelectric crystal to try and detect some sort of electromagnetic force. There was no force detected, but multiple subjects in this experiment were able to successfully write on the blank paper ten successful times.

There is no known and widely accepted explanation for the phenomenon observed by the researchers, and perhaps our methods of detecting some type of “force” aren’t advanced enough yet. Regardless, these abilities are real and have been demonstrated many times, yet we fail to come up with an explanation to explain them. Moreover, most people would likely be too skeptical to even wish to attempt to wrap their minds around how this is happening, and it would likely challenge their entire worldview.

The authors of the study explain that:

…the “pen” appears in their “mind”, they imagine the object on which the pen is to write (paper, tape, etc). Finally, the ‘pen’ will suddenly write or make a mark on the paper or tape in their minds with a flash and the process is over. There are also times when the person will use thought to image the paper or tape and then to imagine the “pen”, and finally the flash described above.

The authors hypothesize that some sort of thought waves are directly interacting with the “matter waves” of these objects, but again, there is no possible way to tell exactly what is going on. Right now it remains unexplainable, but one thing seems certain, the power, intention and sheer will of the human body, possibly not only of the mind, is somehow interacting with physical material matter. We’ve seen this in a number of consciousness and quantum physics experiments at the quantum level, and also at the conventional level using, in this case, people with ‘paranormal’ abilities.

Why This Is Important: The scientific study of such phenomenon is often ignored, belittled and ridiculed from the get go. Many people, especially within the scientific community, are quick to instantly dismiss the possibility that such things can be true or possible. Not examining phenomena, or at least acknowledging the results of a phenomenon based on what we believe to be true or not, is not very scientific. Once again, this demonstrates a common challenge amongst humanity that we are often not willing to look at information that could deeply challenge our foundational worldview.

Anybody looking at this subject matter from an objective standpoint would no doubt have their beliefs challenged. Studies in this field really make one question the true nature of our reality, what we are capable of, and how much we know about ourselves. It’s no secret that a very conservative mainstream scientific establishment often rejects anomalies based on subject matter alone.

How much do we limit our consciousness and perceptions about our world, who we truly are, and what we are capable of as a result of our beliefs, and our determination to say “this is the way things are?”

Cassandra Vieten, PhD and President/CEO at the Institute of Noetic Sciences, which was founded by Apollo 14’s Dr. Edgar Mitchell touches upon this point in her piece, it’s a quote I’ve used many times to illustrate this point “When Skeptics Face The Evidence.”

There seems to be a deep concern that the whole field will be tarnished by studying a phenomenon that is tainted by its association with superstition, spiritualism, and magic. Protecting against this possibility sometimes seems more important than encouraging scientific exploration or protecting academic freedom. But this may be changing. The session I presented in was very well-attended, and I found that most people, while not exactly open-minded, were open-hearted, thoughtful, and willing to engage in respectful discussion about the topic.

The Takeaway: It’s important to mention again that there are many examples of such parapsychological phenomenon. This article is only providing a tidbit on the subject. Why is most of the literature available on this subject coming from defense departments of multiple countries? Why is it that it’s studied in classified and secretive settings and not really made available or open to public scrutiny? Why are these things being studied at the highest level of government yet completely ignored and unacknowledged within academia?

I truly believe that all humans possess capabilities we are not yet aware of, and I believe this has been demonstrated quite well. In a free, open and transparent society we would be utilizing these concepts and learning more about them, simply because they seem to be a natural part of the human being.

Study in these fields can truly expand human consciousness.

That being said, I don’t believe that human beings are operating from the correct place within to utilize or learn these concepts. The collective, in some sense, craves power, service to self, and the desire to advance oneself in a materialistically inclined way, we are not yet operating from the correct level of consciousness to have these abilities present in our human experience.

It’s like technology, we can use it to make weapons, make money, not share it, or use it for the collective good. It’s a choice, but what drives our choices? It’s not our abilities or technology that can create change, it’s the level of consciousness we operate from and the place from within we implement these solutions, not the solutions themselves.

Dive Deeper

These days, it’s not just knowing information and facts that will create change, it’s changing ourselves, how we go about communicating, and re-assessing the underlying stories, ideas and beliefs that form our world. We have to practice these things if we truly want to change. At Collective Evolution and CETV, this is a big part of our mission.

Amongst 100's of hours of exclusive content, we have recently completed two short courses to help you become an effective changemaker, one called Profound Realization and the other called How To Do An Effective Media Detox.

Join CETV, engage with these courses and more here!

Continue Reading
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