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6 Things I Learned From 3 Years Of Being Single

Is being single a punishment, or an amazing opportunity to reconnect with yourself, work on yourself, and become the greatest possible version of yourself? It’s all perspective.

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Even though for many of us it is difficult to be alone, I feel that it is absolutely necessary on our paths to finding self love. Being single can be tough, there is no doubt about that, especially when you just get out of a relationship, but just because it’s difficult does not mean that it’s not worthwhile. I used to jump from boyfriend to boyfriend; in fact, up until a few years ago, I had been in one relationship or another from the age of 14 — 10 years of always having someone else by my side, and never looking to myself to feel that love I was seeking. Before my last relationship ended, I was very depressed, struggling with addiction, and had little to no sense of self worth. And in my heart I know that if I ever wanted to overcome these struggles, I would have to be alone and find that love that I was seeking, within.

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Now, not everyone has the same story. You could say that I had “daddy issues,” as my father was rarely around during my life, so that need for love and validation from a male figure in my life was strong. I stayed in too many relationships that I didn’t want to be in out of fear of being alone, and the last time I got out of a relationship, I promised myself I would no longer follow this pattern. I would not date someone just because they liked me and would keep me from feeling lonely.

I ended up staying single for three years! I had opportunities to enter relationships with a few people along the way, but because it didn’t feel in alignment with what I truly wanted, and I knew deep down that I still had some inner work to do, I rejected these opportunities. I did date, hoping that I would find “the one,” but of course, it wasn’t until I stopped looking that the right person for me came along. After three years of being single, here’s what I learned.

1. Wanting to Find a Partner Does Not Make You Desperate

This was something that was a challenge for me. I have seen many single women become boy crazy and try their hardest to find a partner. But I learned that the more you avoid being alone, the less likely you are to find love, because this is a lesson and a challenge you need to learn and to overcome. However, with that being said, it is our nature to desire love and connection with another. We thrive on connection and are meant to share life’s gifts with other souls along the way. A relationship can provide a beautiful opportunity for love, connection, and growth, so desiring that for yourself is completely natural and normal. The real question is, can you be and are you okay without it? Do you seek a partner to fill a void within yourself? If so, then perhaps a flip of perspective is all that is needed and this period of being single can be viewed as a gift, to truly reconnect with yourself.

2. If You Don’t Do The Inner Work, You Will Attract Where You’re At

It took me a little while to truly begin to face myself after becoming single. I was drinking a lot, dating quite a bit, watching shows on Netflix every night, and basically distracting myself at all costs. The people who were entering my life were essentially at that same level of being, which I knew would be bad for me, so I felt that staying alone was the best option. What I was putting out was a sad, lonely, low vibing version of myself, so that is what was reflecting back to me. Expecting to find the dream partner that “has it all together” when you yourself don’t is a fantasy; your vibe attracts your tribe. This statement couldn’t be more correct and is important to remember. To find the ideal partner that you’ve always dreamed of, you have to become that person yourself.

“The degree to which you love yourself will determine your ability to love the other person, who will be reflecting back to you many of your own personality traits and qualities.”

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– Sanaya Roman

3. Finding Love Within Is Easier When Faced With Yourself

Let’s face it, when you are with a partner, you lose a huge portion of time you would have  had with yourself. Add in time spent with friends and family, and we are looking at even less. Oftentimes when we are in relationships, the majority of our time is spent with that partner, or doing things to please them. I had such a difficult time doing things for myself while in relationships, but found it easy to work to accommodate my partner as much as possible in an effort to earn their validation. I would make juices and smoothies every morning, clean, cook dinner — all my spare time was spent trying to please my partner, because their validation was the only thing that gave my life purpose and meaning.

After becoming single, I had SO MUCH time, I didn’t know what to do with it all. But after I finally began to let go of some of these burdens and baggage I was carrying onto, that time became time for me, time to focus on myself.

“You can search throughout the entire Universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anyone else in the entire Universe deserve your love and affection.”

– Buddha

Time spent nurturing yourself will bring you a love so deep that you may have never believed possible.

4. The Practice of Letting Go and Trusting Can Go a Long Way

I spent a lot of time wondering if I would ever find love again, if it was in my path, if I needed the lesson of being alone. At times there was a lot of doubt. Friends would say things like, “I think it’s time you start preparing for the fact that you may never find someone,” or “Would you have children on your own if it came down to that?” Even though in my heart I knew that I would have more relationships, I definitely doubted this at times. My mind would try and trick me and convince me that I wouldn’t find someone, but because of that innate knowing, I did my best to just let go of the need and the want, and eventually stopped looking altogether and put all my faith in the Universe.

I was always conflicted by the idea that if I wanted something I should go out and get it, and yet also believing I should trust that everything is in perfect alignment, and the universe has your back. In the end, and in hindsight, I could have completely gave up the dating, and the tindering, and the matching all along, because it was the universe that would bring me the man I was meant to be with — not an app on a phone. Although the universe does work in mysterious ways, and I’m sure there are many people who have found love in this way, it was not for me on my path. When you are unsure, of anything really, just take a deep breath, let go, and trust.

5. Being Alone Is a Beautiful Way to Connect With Yourself and Give Yourself Time, Care, and Attention

If you are newly single or have been single for a certain amount of time, maybe you already have this down pat, or maybe you are still learning as you go. But don’t forget that being single is a great opportunity to truly connect with yourself, take care of yourself, and become the greatest possible version of you that you can. Use this time wisely: journal, meditate, exercise, take bubble baths, go for long hikes, spend time with friends — do whatever it is that will nourish your soul and assist you. Finding self love within will allow you to find a partnership that is based off true unconditional love, not attachment. Instead of viewing being single as a punishment, or something that means that you are not good enough, try flipping your perspective around and seeing it as a gift, to give yourself some much deserving love and attention for whatever time period it’s needed. One day, you’ll be in another partnership and wish you had some more alone time. Don’t forget this time.

6. When the Right Person Comes Along, You’ll Know

You know all those fantasies you hear about someone coming along at an extremely inconvenient time, forcing you to take a leap into the unknown, be bold, and face all those fears? I (now) fully believe this notion, that when the right thing comes along, it scares the crap out of you! But also, you’ll feel in your heart that it is right. When you know, you know. You know? That’s how I felt anyways; it just clicked! There was no waiting, games, or guessing. No wondering if “he would call.” No waiting an X amount of time to respond to a text in an effort to not appear desperate; when it’s right, you both know. If you are both truly into each other, there is no need for these games. You both want each other to know, in fact, you want to scream it from the rooftops, you want everyone to know!

You might be thinking, two weeks?! That’s too soon to tell, but like I said, when you know, you just know! I don’t know if this relationship will last forever, but that is not the goal here; the goal is to come together, to experience love, to challenge each other, and to support each other.

Trust that everything is in perfect alignment and you will always get what you need, no matter how that looks.

Much Love

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Consciousness

Notable Scientist Publishes A Book About ‘Real Magic’ That Nobel Laureates Are Endorsing

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Dean Radin, chief scientist at the Institute of Noetic Sciences, has published a book called "Real Magic." It has received praise from multiple scientists, including Nobel Laureates.

  • Reflect On:

    Despite the fact that controlled scientific experiments have produced significant results, this type of study is still labelled as pseudoscience by many academics, simply because it challenges what they've been trained to believe.

Is magic real? That depends on how you define it, but yes, I believe ‘magic’ is definitely real, and I’m clearly not the only one. Cases of ‘supernormal’ powers and ‘magic’ of all kinds have been reported throughout history and across almost all cultures–at least until religion was invented and these topics were ushered into the realm of the ‘demonic.’

Proponents of what we now call ‘magic’  include nearly all ancient literature from all parts of the world, from the Vedic texts and the yoga sutras, all the way to Moses, Jesus, Milarepa and Mohammed. Donald Lopez Jr., a professor of Buddhist and Tibetan Studies and the University of Michigan provides a great example in describing the Buddha:

With this enlightenment, he was believed to possess all manner of supernormal powers, including full knowledge of each of his own past lives and those of other beings, the ability to know others’ thoughts, the ability to create doubles of himself, the ability to rise into the air and simultaneously shoot fire and water from his body…Although he passed into nirvana at the age of eighty-one, he could have lived “for an aeon or until the end of the aeon” if only he had been asked to do so. (source)

The crazy thing is there are also modern day examples, but they mostly come from the black budget government programs. In 2016, I published a well-sourced article providing multiple examples from a CIA document that confirms the existence of humans with ‘special abilities’ who are able to do ‘impossible’ things. You can access that here.

‘Real Magic’

A book recently published by the Chief Scientist at the Institute of Noetic Sciences, Dean Radin, entitled “Real Magic” has received some great reviews. The main premise is the idea that a hidden power resides within every single human being, a power tied to our consciousness, a power that makes phenomena like psychokinesis, remote viewing, and precognition not only possible but something that will perhaps one day be a normal part of all our lives. The book offers a vision of a scientifically informed magic and explains why magic will play a key role in the frontiers of science.

This falls into the realm of a field of study called non-material science. Nikola Tesla was a huge proponent of this, as he had said that the day humanity begins to study this subject matter is the day that humanity will advance at an exponential rate.

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Far From “Pseudoscience”

Dr. Carl Jung once stated, “I shall not commit the fashionable stupidity of regarding everything I cannot explain as a fraud.” This is something we should all hold in our minds as we examine this or other claims that are not part of our current perception.

The amount of statistically significant results when it comes to this reality, usually dubbed as “parapsychology,” is very significant. We are talking about hundreds, if not thousands of studies that have been conducted worldwide for decades.

There seems to be a deep concern that the whole field will be tarnished by studying a phenomenon that is tainted by its association with superstition, spiritualism and magic. Protecting against this possibility sometimes seems more important than encouraging scientific exploration or protecting academic freedom. But this may be changing. Cassandra Vieten, PhD and President/CEO at the Institute of Noetic Sciences (source)

A lot of the statistical results for parapsychology are just as strong, if not in some cases more significant, than a lot of the results which emerge from hard sciences, like physics and mechanical engineering. The Department of Defense has stated that results in this area are a clear sign that these phenomena are real, despite the fact that they are still somewhat unexplainable. As far back as 1999, a statistics professor even published a paper showing the results dealing with parapsychology and mind-body connection are a lot stronger than the results used to approve some of our medications. That study was done by Dr. Jessica Utts, as statistics professor in California who had this to say about Radin’s book:

Real Magic illustrates the limitations of 20th century science and proposes a more comprehensive view that incorporates ideas that have been associated with magic throughout the ages. Blending history, humor, and plausible hypotheses, Dean Radin illustrates that there is a staggering amount of evidence for a broader view of science that offers hope for the future of humanity.” 

Another review:

“A thought-provoking book. The author makes a convincing case for the reality and significance of magic.” —Brian Josephson, Nobel Laureate in Physics and Emeritus Professor of Physics, University of Cambridge

Today, hundreds of scientists are coming together to emphasize that matter is not the only reality. They’ve created a manifesto, and you can find links and access more information about this initiative, which started a few years ago, in an article we published here.

“Some scientists are confident that we already know what is and is not possible. But the truth is that science is very much in its infancy. To advance our understanding requires bold excursions into domains some might consider heretical, including esoteric legends about magic that have persisted for thousands of years. This is what Dean Radin sets out to do with Real Magic. In my judgment, it succeeds in blazing new trails. Well worth the read.”  Kary Mullis PhD, Nobel Laureate (Chemistry)

The Global Elite Use Magic

While talking about magic in this sense, it’s also important to mention the global elite, and the idea that they also use metaphysical/magical ‘knowing’ and concepts. Unfortunately, they do so not for the joy of discovery, or from a place of good intention, but from a selfish, egoic place, a place that is in service to self, and not in service to others. This is a big point to consider when discussing whether humanity needs to take down the global elite in order to evolve. You can read more about my thoughts regarding magic and the global elite in the article ‘How Some of The World’s Elite Use Black Magic Rituals To Conjure Up Entities For More Power.’

I believe that as human consciousness evolves and we become more aware of who we are, and our capabilities, we will also realize that love, compassion, and empathy are all needed for us to thrive. Once we completely grasp this, I believe, these ‘abilities’ that lay dormant within us will begin to show themselves more and more.

The Takeaway

The takeaway here is to keep in open mind, and to recognize that what we think we know is always subject to change. Sometimes these things take a while, even if a sufficient amount of evidence has been provided. This type of study opens up new understandings about the nature of our reality, and would change ‘science’ and the current laws that govern it forever. Non-material science truly represents the next scientific revolution.

A Quick Important Notice:

The demand for Collective Evolution's content is bigger than ever, except ad agencies and social media keep cutting our revenues. This is making it hard for us to continue.

In order to stay truly independent, we need your help. We are not going to put up paywalls on this website, as we want to get our info out far and wide. For as little as $3 a month, you can help keep CE alive!

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Consciousness

Note To Selfie: Drop The Mask

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    On social media, it's common to see pictures that don't truly represent us or the situations we are capturing. In many cases, we photograph ourselves 10 - 15 times before selecting the 'accurate' photo we will use.

  • Reflect On:

    Why do we spend so much time creating an image of ourselves, even if it is not accurate?

What if we all put down our masks? What if we agreed, that there would be no more disguises? What if we allowed each other to be our authentic self? Imagine the effect on Instagram. It boggles the mind.

Too many people believe the content uploaded on social media is actually showing us truth. Far from it. The material chosen to be uploaded to Facebook, or liked on Instagram, bears little resemblance to true life. Each photo has been carefully chosen after taking a mind-numbing series of retakes.

Each photo must be meticulously studied to ensure the subject looks nothing like the real thing. After all, the real thing isn’t going to garner followers. No one uploads pictures of themselves returning bottles to the beer store in their slippers, or cleaning out the kitty litter. Followers equate to love. More follower = more love.

We are terrified that people will see our true self and our mundane lives won’t be nearly glamorous enough. So we take 12 pictures before deciding one is good enough.

Note to selfie: Make sure you extend your arms and snap the picture from above. You must be looking up. You will look younger. Social media doesn’t like wrinkles … bad skin … or skinny lips.

“Before I started being body positive on Instagram I would’ve posted the photo on the left (sucking in my tummy as much as possible) and said something along the lines of ‘gained a bit of fat this week’ when in reality, what I look relaxed currently is like the photo on the right.”

The harm that has been done to our psyche is profound. Apparently, the psyche is quite gullible. It does believe the stories shown on social media are true. So our psyche starts putting on some pretty outlandish masks to keep up with the Jones’ psyche. It is a constant challenge to keep up with the Joneses. The Joneses can’t even keep up with Joneses. No one can. It’s a sucker’s game.

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What is the result of wearing a mask? – depression, anxiety, frustration, shame. The “Mask-Wearer” knows it’s not true. And they are terrified of being found out. Imagine the fear of being outed as a fraud. And more unsettling is this; if someone falls for that mask you’ve been wearing, don’t believe they’ve fallen for you. They are enamoured with the mask: the image. And the image isn’t real.

Let’s bring a Revolution of Real. Put down the mask. And promise yourself that you will never be anything other than your most authentic self. Masks wear very thin, very fast. Authentic beauty lasts forever.

recommended Read: Instagram User Reveals The Truth Behind Those Fitness Photos

A Quick Important Notice:

The demand for Collective Evolution's content is bigger than ever, except ad agencies and social media keep cutting our revenues. This is making it hard for us to continue.

In order to stay truly independent, we need your help. We are not going to put up paywalls on this website, as we want to get our info out far and wide. For as little as $3 a month, you can help keep CE alive!

SUPPORT CE HERE!

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Consciousness

7 Thought-Provoking Short Films You Can Watch Now For Free Online

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Film has the ability to capture our emotions and move us in what are sometimes very productive ways. We'll show you 7 thought-provoking short films you might love watching.

  • Reflect On:

    How do these films make you feel from watching them? How do they relate to your own life? What action can you take after watching these?

The world of film has always captivated me. Whether it be its ability to present a supernatural reality I’ll never get to experience, or its ability to accurately depict an emotion I can relate to, there really is something surreal about going to or staying in to watch a movie.

And while the subscription numbers to popular film and television streaming platforms like Netflix and Amazon Prime certainly suggest that I likely don’t need to sell you on choosing to watch them, I do believe that a pitch needs to be made for the particular variety of them that I’m suggesting within this article.

That variety of course, is short films. The unofficial younger sibling to feature-length films that aside from those that happen to play before a popular Pixar film, or those that are nominated for an Academy Award, often go largely unnoticed by the masses. So I’d like to present a list of 7 thought-provoking independently made short films that you can watch for free online now as part of the Spirit Film Festival until the end of October.

1. Uncaptured

How often do you consciously choose to sit in silence? And better yet, is it even readily available to you? The short film Uncaptured explores the emotional and physical impact that setting aside conscious time to be in silence can have on the thoughts, programs and belief systems we have stored within us.

Through a series of interviews we are given insight in alignment with the famous Thomas Carlyle quote the film presents just after its title card: “Silence is as deep as eternity; Speech is as shallow as time.” WATCH UNCAPTURED

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2. The Nine Billion Names of God

Based on the book by Arthur C. Clarke -most infamously known as to co-writer of 2001: A Space Odyssey with Stanley Kubrick –The Nine Billion Names of God tells the story of a Tibetan monk who seeks to list all of the names of God with the help an automatic sequence computer.

Based in 1957, the short film is beautifully shot and is carried from start to finish by a beautiful score, perfectly setting the stage for a thought-provoking adventure. WATCH THE NINE BILLIONS NAMES OF GOD

3. Leave Of Presence

If you were asked to list what would make you happy in life, a well-paying job and vibrant social life would likely make the list. Yet the presence of both of those elements didn’t stop Sudha Suthanthiram from dropping everything to head to India in search of her true calling.

This short narrative film runs less than 5 minutes in length yet it offers great food for thought for all of us questioning our purpose in life. WATCH LEAVE OF PRESENCE

4. Nectar of Devotion

Nectar of Devotion shares the fascinating transition made by the one-time frontman for an acid rock band into GuruGanesha Singh Khalsa. While his former life offered much of the surface-level pleasures that so many of us fantasize about, GuruGanesha delves into how his new life has created a happiness unlike ever before.

The short film runs under 7 minutes in length and goes into detail on the difficulties associated with making the transition and how his new kirtan rock band is making the type of impact he always desired having on others. WATCH NECTAR OF DEVOTION

5. Graham: A Dog’s Story

Whether or not you consider yourself a dog lover, Graham: A Dog’s Story is a funny and touching short film told from the perspective of a dog. From being introduced into the family, to “letting go” we’re led through so many of the stages that owners and their favorite pets often go through in life without much attention.

While the short film is carried by a comedic voiceover, it delves into many unexpected stages of a dog’s life including the impact that they have on us even long after they are gone. WATCH GRAHAM: A DOG’S STORY

6. Bekia

In just 6 minutes, Bekia powerfully shares the story of Hamdy, a seller of used goods doing everything he can to make a living on the streets of Cairo. Director Alia Adel effectively takes us into a world that most of us would never have otherwise known about.

The short is beautifully shot and well worth 6 minutes of your life. WATCH BEKIA

7. I Am Here

I Am Here is a unique short put together by the National Film Board of Canada that follows a mysterious animated travellers journey to discover the origin of life. Carried by a riveting score by composer duo Menalon, the film delves into themes and subject matter we would all benefit from pondering on.

Running just over 5 minutes in length, I Am Here manages to take a look at a lot of the questions so many of us have buried within us. WATCH I AM HERE

A Quick Important Notice:

The demand for Collective Evolution's content is bigger than ever, except ad agencies and social media keep cutting our revenues. This is making it hard for us to continue.

In order to stay truly independent, we need your help. We are not going to put up paywalls on this website, as we want to get our info out far and wide. For as little as $3 a month, you can help keep CE alive!

SUPPORT CE HERE!

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