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Consciousness

Can Who You Are Become Better?

How does one become better without having an awareness that something about themselves could be better? Is this self-judgment or just self-awareness? Can who you are be better? I asked this question to my network and received many answers.

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As a lover of the guitar, I’m always under improvement. It’s a never-ending journey of levelling up, cutting away things I don’t need and refining what I feel truly sounds like me. In the beginning of learning the instrument, there’s no way I could play what I can now. It takes dedicated and strategic practice to become good at anything and ‘good’ is both defined by you and by your band mates as a musician. That’s what an artist does. We practice, we learn, we create, and we define what is good enough to let other people enjoy our work.

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That’s right. Good isn’t just defined by you. You can feel that you are good at the level you’re at but ultimately, you must be good-enough to play with good musicians. You need to be a good-enough athlete to play with other athletes. It’s a prerequisite to almost anything you’re going to do with other people. You’re not necessary in a competition — it really depends on what you want for yourself and at what level you want to play, but ultimately, if you want to play with other people, you will need to have a level of competence that’s accessible to who you’re playing with and that’s a product of practice.

I’m certain the idea of practice is common across all disciplines. You even need to practice meditation, which you might think doesn’t involve a lot of things to do. Even dissolving yourself in a sensory deprivation tank takes practice and its effects usually get better every time — when you get it right.

Competitive athletes are always looking to improve their skill. Relationship partners who are connected to their cause of loving each other are constantly involved in some growth process to learn how to relate to each others better. Chefs are always learning how to be more efficient and effective at astonishing their customers. Hunters, doctors, lawyers, politicians… I’ve thought about this for a while and I haven’t found one area of life where we aren’t somehow trying to be better. Heck, even evolution is a process of becoming better to adapt to the forever changing environment you are in.

How does one become better without having an awareness that something about themselves could be better? Is this self-judgment or just self-awareness? Can who you are be better? I asked this question to my network and received many answers. One of them stuck out to me:

“No. But I can become more aware of how magnificent who I am already is.”

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Here’s the thing. Isn’t becoming more aware of how magnificent you already are, a form of you becoming better by being more aware of how magnificent you already are? This idea that you cannot become better is a mainstay of the new-age-personal-development and spiritual movement and community and it’s one of the greatest challenges to an individual’s personal growth when they believe that it’s true. It’s sold under the assumption that just by engaging in a total and complete self-acceptance and appreciation that all your problems will magically disappear. Which I guess is true… because it’s easy to ignore what’s really wrong with your life when you’re addicted to appreciating and accepting your level of suffering…

“Yes! It’s true that I cannot become better than who I already am!”

Right… Let’s look at when and where and how this breaks down when you apply it, fundamentally.

Example 1: My leg was just blown off by a land mine. I’m bleeding out. But, of course, I’m perfect as I am so I should just remind myself of how magnificent I already am and do nothing…

Example 2: I shoot drugs every day and I don’t know it yet, but tomorrow I’m going to overdose and die while living on the street but I’m carrying a backpack of self-help books so I’m ok, right? Yeah, that’s right, I’m perfect as I am, and I can’t be better.

Example 3: It’s my heart and soul’s calling to play in a rock and roll band but I totally suck right now at playing guitar. So, according to my spiritual wisdom I picked up from some psycho, I should just keep looking at how magnificent I already am, forget about practicing and well, yeah, forget about that dream I have that’s my innate purpose anyway. That’ll never work because I’d have to be better at playing guitar to play with other people who are also better.

Example 4: Because my Dad was an alcoholic and my Mom beat me I’m now emotionally wounded and acting these emotional scars out as an adult by drinking and beating my kid. But hey, I’m perfect already right, so it’s OK that I broke my kids arm twice this year. Yeah, I’m magnificent and can’t be any better.

Example 5: I have a curable illness and if I just went under the knife for 5 minutes, I’d be able to live another 20 years and ensure I’m there for my family. But, yeah, I can’t be better… death’s calling.

Oh, and on that note…

Example 6: I just jumped out of an airplane and my parachute is messed. I guess it wasn’t packed correctly because hey, I don’t practice getting better at packing because I’m fundamentally perfect, always, and magnificent and can’t possible learn anything new because I’m already the best. That said, I could untangle it in about 20 seconds and I’ve got the time but hey… forget about it. I’m just going to appreciate that I’m magnificent right now and can’t be better than my current situation…

Am I exaggerating the point? Yes, of course, but my point is this. When you stress-test spiritual sayings, they often break down when stuff hits the fan and that’s important to know because how well are these parables if they can’t or don’t apply in the worst of situations and only apply in the best of situations?

Can Who You Are Be Better?

In my judging opinion… totally. Can I be better? totally. Do I hope and wish and pray that some of you reading this call me out so that I can become better at what I do? Absolutely. That’s called community. It’s called caring. It’s called respecting ourselves and each other enough to see a challenge for what it is and help each other solve it ,and it’s helping each other appreciate what we have already and built upon it.

Practice makes something closer to perfection, that’s determined by you and the community if what you do involves other people. That’s the point. You are a perfect representation of all the choices, people and environments you’ve interacted with. That doesn’t mean at all that your present form of perfection is meant to continue tomorrow. Maybe you aren’t good enough for what tomorrow has to bring. That’s amazing! Because it’s going to help you grow and become better at something new which is what enables you to look at yourself, through evidence, and say that you are magnificent.

You are meant to progress, and the enjoyment of your life is because of that process. Selling your potential short just because you’re blinding yourself to that potential by following some spiritual parable that some jerk made up to enable you to mentally masturbate about how awesome you already are (and avoid all forms of improvement) is really a bad sale.

Invest in yourself. Appreciate what you’ve already accomplished and set yourself on to the next phase of your strategy. Can who you are be better? Yes. You can even become better at appreciating how much better you become.

What about you? Are you holding yourself back by resisting the necessary upgrades to your person or your life because of some spiritual parable you’ve bought into? I’d love to know but mostly, I’d love you to know so that you too can change for the better.

Let me know what you discover.

www.stephangardner.com

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Your life path number can tell you A LOT about you.

With the ancient science of Numerology you can find out accurate and revealing information just from your name and birth date.

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Consciousness

6 Of The Most Asked Questions On Google & What They Say About Us

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Google is an incredible resource that helps us get the answers to many of life's questions at incredible speeds. But as our search habits suggest, we seem to be turning to it a bit too much for a number of unhealthy reasons.

  • Reflect On:

    What are you regularly turning to Google for? Are the answers you're getting actually of value, or are they instead rooted in a deeper issue?

The world is filled with a seemingly endless number of resources for us to tap into or seek out the council of. Yet, when it comes to finding the answers to some of our most important questions we all seem to go to one place: Google.

And while Google may be incredibly effective at providing us access to the answers of many of our questions at what seems like light-speed, it can also be quite damaging.

To illustrate this I’d like to present to you six of the most commonly asked questions that we as a collective tend to turn to Google for, what I believe they say about humanity, and why we need to stop turning to Google for the answers to them.

Please note that these are just six OF the most asked questions, and not the six most. These six are particular ones that stood out to me as troubling and worth commenting on. So here they are in ascending order based on how frequently they are searched per month globally. (All stats found on Mondovo

A written version of the video is available below as well.

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6. Which celebrity do I look like?

Search frequency: 14,800 times per month

While on the surface this search seems purely fun, what concerns me about it being searched with such frequency is that it really showcases how much our thoughts are rooted in comparison.

We all know that social media as a whole is a cesspool of comparison, where the vast majority of us post nothing but the highlight reel captures of our life rather than true snippets of our reality. The last thing we need is to even further compare ourselves to those we aren’t connected to on social media -especially those who for the most part work in an industry obsessed with physical appearances.

We need to keep in mind that the way Katy Perry looks on the red carpet is different from the way she looks upon waking up on a Friday morning. Let’s choose to embrace our uniqueness and spend our spare time being ourselves rather than comparing that person to who we think we need to be.

5. Why did I get married?

Search frequency: 49,500 times per month

With divorce rates being where they are, we all know that the institution of marriage is rapidly crumbling before our feet. And while whether that is a good or bad thing is a matter of opinion, I still don’t think we should be turning to Google for reminders on why we opted to participate in it.

Rather than reading someone’s blog on why you should appreciate your partner, or another person’s rant on why we should all run from marriage like the plague, choose to spend that time instead of having an open conversation with your spouse.

Be honest about where you stand with things and come to a collective conclusion as to what you can and cannot do as the next steps.

4. Who unfollowed me on Instagram?

Search frequency: 74,000 times per month

This is my personal favourite on the list because there are few things that amuse me more than seeing the importance that so many of us put on our “Instagram ratio”.

Long gone are the days where we happily followed and liked everyone and everything, and here to stay are the days where we handpick who we follow to give off a “celebrity status” based on the seemingly much higher amount of people who have chosen to follow us.

If you care so much about your following count dropping from 714 to 713 that you need to look into who it was that you lost overnight (or even if you realize that the drop happened at all) you’ve got some serious self-worth issues that you need to address and work beyond.

3. How to make money online?

Search frequency: 135,000 times per month

As someone who has not only worked for various companies who have made substantial amounts of money online, and who has several initiatives to do so myself, I can tell you one thing: it doesn’t come easy!

It not only takes persistent and high-quality effort to build a YouTube subscriber base or to create a website that generates regular traffic, it also takes money to make money.

We need to debunk the belief that the internet is a great way to get rich quick. Realize that everyone who is advertising their online course, seminar, or book designed to help you do this, is doing that as their primary tactic to attain wealth -and they’re paying a hell of a lot of money to get their ad in your face. Those who have attained it have much bigger and better things to do.

2. How to lose weight fast?

Search frequency: 301,000 times per month

On the surface, this too seems well-intentioned since it’s great to see that a large portion of us are regularly searching for ways to improve our health. But what concerns me about this is largely the last word: fast.

We live in a world where we need instantaneous results (hence why we’re turning to Google in the first place) or we don’t bother. Long-term solutions exist but we have virtually no confidence in our ability to commit to anything, so we instead opt for ways to cheat the system.

If losing weight or gaining muscle is truly important to you, than focus on what you’ll need to do to keep yourself motivated to put the work in to get there rather than what can zap it away.

1. Any and all health advice

Search frequency: Unknown but seemingly infinite

We’ve all done it. We go to Google for advice on a persistent pimple and three minutes later we’re convinced that we are mere weeks away from being on our deathbed.

While there are plenty of great articles and medical journals scattered throughout the net, there is also a lot of “click-baity” crap with nothing to support much of what it suggests.

Please understand that this is NOT an attack against alternative media outlets, I firmly believe that even the most widely-accepted forms of media are ladened in questionable sourcing and ruled by greed. So rather than taking your chances, why not instead turn a trusted healthcare professional who can diagnose your unique circumstance?


For more brutally honest personal development content designed for those who actually want to change, be sure to subscribe to my YouTube Channel and to follow me on Facebook.

Get Your FREE In Depth Numerology Reading

Your life path number can tell you A LOT about you.

With the ancient science of Numerology you can find out accurate and revealing information just from your name and birth date.

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Consciousness

When You’re Feeling Like Crap, Don’t Personalize It!

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Sometimes when we are feeling like crap, we make the stories we tell ourselves very personal and thus make it part of who we are. We have the ability to see past this and instead see the reason why we are feeling this way.

  • Reflect On:

    Why do we give so much power to the stories we tell ourselves? Why do we get so stuck in victim states all the time? Keep on practising, stay patient and know that there is information in our feelings about what we need to reflect on.

We all go through moments of feeling down, when you’re in it, try not to personalize it.

When you personalize you grab onto the pain and linger on it; you keep mulling the thought over and over in your head.

When you’re going through hell, keep going.

You can’t make the distance shorter but you can move through it faster. So push to get to the worst feeling as quick as possible – the relief lies beyond that.

The down periods will never go away; you need to let go of that idea. You just get better at managing it all.

You have to get better at managing it: you get a bigger empath load as you progress to a higher vibration.

This is why the lows are still so low even though you’ve shifted so much and grown so much; you’re pulling bigger volumes of energy to shift from the morphic field.

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The reason it feels like you’re rehashing the same stuff? They send you loads of whatever energies you’re already good at shifting… so the stuff you’ve already previously let go of and shifted.

That’s the stuff that should be easy for you to shift because you’ve faced the personalized layer where the examples cause you pain.

What do I mean?

If you hear about someone cheating, you listen with interest maybe. But if you think of yourself in their shoes (personalize), or draw on your own past painful example, then you immediately feel the fear and pain.

Try it… let’s say someone was cold last night, maybe they froze to death. You feel some empathy sure.

But if I say it’s YOUR child that froze to death…? Even the words shocked you.

You may give a passing thought to the cold homeless people, but if your child was lost outside on a freezing night, you’d get no sleep. You wouldn’t be able to think about anything else in fact.

It’s only EMOTIONALLY relevant to you when you attach a personal example or story and attach it to the people in your life.

If you want to break this cycle permanently, you need to train yourself to find higher level lessons in your shifts – when you find the higher lesson, the need for the lower lessons fall away.

So an example is realising you’re not accepted by people unless you behave the way they want you to and give them what they want.

On a personal level, this hurts, because it’s a reminder of your loneliness, isolation, lack of worth etc. It’s a reminder that people don’t want what you have to offer as you; they really only use you for what they can get. Stings hey?

However cycle that up to a god level lesson (how God views man), and it becomes the pattern of how people treat gods. They only turn to the gods when they need something or want something, using God like a servant, to fetch and carry.

Basically, this is the way everyone treats divine beings by default – and this behavior is just a standard human behavior.

If it’s just normal behavior, then it’s not being done to you, it’s just happening around you.

You have a choice about how you look at any lesson, and where you choose to focus.

So for today try to cycle your lessons up… see if you can spot how man treats god through the view of ego, or how god views man without any ego or attachment to physical life.

In the mirrors tools, mirrors 6, 7, 8 & 9 deal with soul, balance, dark and cosmos. Those are all higher vibration lessons. Free mirrors tools at: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/newmirrors/

Look for recursions from the creation story ( http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/the-creation-unification-story-for-lightworkers ) or play the game of trying to guess who else around you has similar – or worse – challenges to face.

Remind yourself of what you have, right now. Are your needs taken care of right now? Do you have a roof over your head? Food? Clothes? Yes? Then all is good.

And even if the answer is no, find something to be grateful for and hold onto that.

No shift ever lasts forever…

No matter how crap you’ve felt in the past, it’s always turned.

In fact, that’s exactly why you’re looking for a way out… you know it’s possible to feel different.

This will pass – all you have to do is survive a few days of feeling crappy, and remember not to turn into a serial killer. This is why it’s us… they can send us this level of pain and we stay good people. We don’t become serial killers or perpetuate pain.

So just ask for help to accept what you’re shifting and surrender to the process. Call on your guides and angels for help.

Here are a few different options for surrender processes: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/surrender-acceptance-letting-go

What it looks like in practice

Even at my level, these periods still hit me. The difference now is how I handle them.

I stay patient and accept it will pass.

I look for global energies and patterns in those around me.

I don’t personalize or linger and if anything is stuck in my inner voice I mirror it out straight away.

I ask for help all the time.

I don’t rush in and start anything – I force myself to plan first so that I’m sure of the idea and I don’t waste time creating something half-baked or that I won’t use, or that I feel guilty about.

The only thing that’s changed is how I behave inside a shift.

Yes shifting shifts the energies, but you have to learn tools and change your habits and behaviors as well.

At the end you’re going to realise that the key is the moment you took control… you may as well take control now and prevent yourself all this unnecessary pain and suffering.

Sometimes circumstances suck… but that doesn’t mean you have to suffer.

You always have a choice about that.

Hang in there. This period has to be over soon…. they’re never longer than two or three weeks.

If you’re already stuck on something, the fastest way out is to push through and find your way to the bottom of the ego death – http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/how-to-do-shadow-work-how-to-face-your-dark-shadow-or-ego

Get Your FREE In Depth Numerology Reading

Your life path number can tell you A LOT about you.

With the ancient science of Numerology you can find out accurate and revealing information just from your name and birth date.

Get your free numerology reading and learn more about how you can use numerology in your life to find out more about your path and journey. Get Your free reading.

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Consciousness

Summer Solstice 2018: The Spiritual Significance & How You Can Reflect In Your Life

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Today, June 21st 2018 is the summer solstice. It is a time where we welcome the season of Summer and can begin reflecting on various things.

  • Reflect On:

    This is the ideal time to consider ways we can balance the masculine and feminine forces in our lives. Where could you use a little more gentle, receptive yin? Where could you yang it up and put in more action-oriented, decisive energy?

The summer solstice is here! This is certainly a day worth celebrating and not just because it represents the longest day of the year for everyone living North of the equator, hello sun — but also because of the symbolic meaning behind it. The summer solstice has been an important day throughout history and for good reason.

The summer solstice marks a time for the celebration of Mother Nature, fun and of course the sun. The sun brings us warmth and light and I’m sure that is something that we can all appreciate.

Solstice At Stonehenge

Stonehenge has been a popular spot throughout recorded time to celebrate this day because it was built to directly align with the solstices, but only during the summer solstice specifically does the rising sun reach the middle of the stones and shine on the central altar. Clearly, whoever or whatever built Stonehenge had this in mind, and it must have been of great significance in order to take on the process of constructing one of the 7 wonders of the ancient world.

According to BBC’s coverage of a solstice event several years ago, the event included an interview with those who appreciate solstice the most,

“We believe it is very important for people to move with the cycles of nature, and actually feel them. If you get up early in the morning and you watch that special sunrise, you’ve been a part of it. The rest of the year is shaped by that. And we think it’s a really healthy thing to do and a very spiritual thing to do.”

 

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What Is So Significant Of The Summer Solstice?

Melanie Beckler, the author of Angel Messages, said the Summer Solstice is a time of “energetic opening” and “celestial potential” pouring out from the sun.

She explained: “Symbolically the Summer Solstice represented enlightenment, awakening and the triumph of lightness over darkness.

Aside from the celebration of the sun, it marks the first day of summer, and really, who doesn’t love summer? Many believe that the summer solstice is all about taking a chance to express gratitude for the gifts of harvest, bounty, and abundance.

Pagans hold a religious ritual on the solstice to honor and acknowledge the turning of the wheel of the year and the new season that is upon us.

While to some it may feel fairly insignificant, we are inhabitants on this earth and just as the earth does, we also go through changes. We are in tune, whether aware or not of what happens on the planet and it affects us, too.

According to the astrotwins, The season of Cancer will last 30 days and is a good time to “balance masculine and feminine energies”.

“This is the ideal time to consider ways we can balance the masculine and feminine forces in our lives.

“Where could you use a little more gentle, receptive yin? Where could you yang it up and put in more action-oriented, decisive energy?

“We all contain both energies within us, and in an age where gender is becoming more fluid and redefined than ever, the solstice is an awesome moment to widen our notions of what that means for us.”

How To Harness The Magic Of This Years Summer Solstice

There are so many ways that you can integrate the powerful energy from the solstice into your life. Most importantly, take some time for you and reflect. This could mean setting aside one hour and journaling about some of the various topics seen above in this article.

If you have some crystals, this can be a great time to put them out in the sun to charge and energize them.

Have a solstice party, in whatever capacity this looks like for you. If you aren’t very into the “spiritual” or “fluffy” stuff, simply having a gathering with friends is a great way to welcome this transition. If you are more inclined to the ritualistic types of activities, you can gather with your friends have a fire maybe, go to the beach, share your intentions for the year.

Even if your day is busy, don’t forget, this is the longest day of the year, take some time for some quiet reflection and some time in the sun. Reflect on the past season, let go of what is no longer serving you from the spring and call in whatever you’d like to manifest for the upcoming season. The sun provides powerful energy for all inhabitants of the earth and our entire solar system, might as well utilize it during its peak day.

Manifest that summer love, enjoy community, and welcome all of the new growth, evolution, and change.

Oh, happy day.

Much Love

Get Your FREE In Depth Numerology Reading

Your life path number can tell you A LOT about you.

With the ancient science of Numerology you can find out accurate and revealing information just from your name and birth date.

Get your free numerology reading and learn more about how you can use numerology in your life to find out more about your path and journey. Get Your free reading.

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