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How To Respond To Negative People Without Being Negative Yourself

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Have you ever had a friend, co-worker, teammate or even someone in your family that just seems to put a damper on things all the time? Whether it be with their habits, character traits or the need to be negative, sometimes people in our lives can provide some interesting challenges.

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But that in and of itself is already a huge thing to realize: although some people may feel “toxic” or “negative” to us at times, they can actually be playing a great role for us. When you look at it, no one is actually “negative,” “toxic” or “bad,” they are simply having an experience and in our eyes, we are perceiving them in a certain way.

The truth is, there is much we can learn from these situations and we are going to share some great tips to help deal with these situations easily. All we have to do is remember to take a perspective on how we look at these things. Instead of simply booting them and running away, we can really learn a lot about ourselves.

1. See What You Can Learn From Them

One of the very first things, and probably the most important, I like to use in my own life when surrounded by these people is to ask myself what bothers me about them. What is it that is making me feel off or down when these people are around? Are they making me feel an emotion? Bringing up old frustrations? Are they holding me back?

Once we figure out what is setting us off about the person in the first place, we can find out if there is something we can adjust within ourselves first. The reason we look inside first is because we are trying to determine what role this person can be playing for us in our own learning. Often times these people disappear from our lives or transform the minute we do the work inside ourselves that they are shining a light on.

Once you identify what it is that gets you, work to move past that within yourself. It might be that you are judging their actions. It might be that you are getting upset because they do things you don’t like. Maybe they are unreliable all the time and it’s interfering with your life. Either way, the whole point isn’t to simply identify it and remain upset with it but instead to find a level of peace and acceptance with what is happening so you can remove the trigger.

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Once you let that go, you can make choices to move on if you need to. The trick here isn’t to simply move on because we don’t want to face what bothers us within ourselves. You will notice that if you take this path you will continue running into people who will bring these things out in you until you let them go. After all, wouldn’t you rather not have those triggers in yourself?

2. Take Time For Yourself

This will partially link to number 1 as when you are trying to pay attention to what is bothering you about someone, it can be helpful to take time for yourself to do so. To go a bit deeper on this step, taking time away from the person or people that can feel toxic or “negative” at times is a great way to compare how you feel in each setting. There are going to be times in life where we have to have these people in our lives for whatever reason, (potentially work related) learning to take time away to recharge a bit is a great way to keep the peace within yourself and avoid getting caught up in the incessant judgment our minds can sometimes get stuck on. It isn’t about having to “put up” with these people forever, but more so to learn what we need and ultimately learn how to stay within your own peace around them.

3. Don’t Judge Them – Practice Practical Compassion

One of the biggest things we can get caught up in and make a habit of is judging people. Sometimes we do it and we don’t even know it! Judgment of another can even be addictive as we can do it out of self-defense or simply because we have been in that mindset so long that we forget to see the great things in others. We judge because sometimes people don’t do things we’d do or they don’t do it how we’d do it. We judge because we can feel self-conscious, jealous or because we are afraid to simply love them for what they do. Whatever the reason, it’s important to get out of the egoic mindset of judging. It isn’t YOU who’s even judging, it’s the ego’s beliefs, ideas, thoughts and concepts creating illusionary ideas of what is right and wrong.

Adding the compassion part is all about realizing that some things people are doing that you don’t like could be a result of challenges in their own life. Maybe they are cranky, angry, snappy, mean, jealous, judgmental, prone to gossip or don’t do things in the “greatest ways.” Whatever the case, try talking to them. Offering your thoughts, observations or tidbits of advice can do a lot to shift someones perspective. You never know what people are going through and often time you might find out that they are very much like you are. if you do choose to speak to someone, remember to be calm and respectful about it.

4. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

This is very much a lead from number 3 but important enough to mention on its own. We are not always aware of why someone is acting the way that they do. Even if they appear to personally “attack” you, it may not be about you at all. Remembering this will not only create more peace within yourself, but will also help to avoid any flare ups between you and the other person as taking things personally can get ugly at times.

5. Realize Their Behavior Shouldn’t Simply Be Ignored

This one is all about realizing that you don’t have to see their behavior as something you need to learn to deal with and/or simply ignore when they do it. You have the ability to make an impact on other people’s lives by simply recognizing things playing out and choosing to nicely do something about it. Sometimes we can say “oh they are just young” or “oh they are just always like that” and in that we approve of the behavior. Now the key here isn’t to bring judgment into the picture but to simply realize that sometimes people act in ways that aren’t in line with creating a good situation for everyone. Working on transforming that experience is great for not only the person but also everyone around the situation.

By taking action to mention possible changes people could choose to make, you put the ball in their court. Of course you can’t do the work for them but saying something can make a difference.

6. Feel Free To Move On Without Them

After we’ve gone through what has been mentioned above, it’s time to look at the final step that I feel takes a bit of honesty and learning to fully grasp. Moving on from people is always an option. Remember, it’s not about learning to “put up” with people who might be creating an experience you don’t wish to have in your life. But, its important to go through the steps above so that we are not simply running away. Growing and learning ourselves is a big part of this process and appreciating that others can offer that for you is huge.

There does come a time, and I’ve experienced it myself, when people just don’t change. They constantly bring around a “low vibe” and their habits and traits can make situations quite colorful in ways we are ready to move on from. They can be selfish and are always taking but never returning the balance of friendship. In these particular cases we make a choice as to whether or not we wish to move on. There’s nothing wrong with choosing to take this route if you feel you’ve moved beyond what they bring out in you.

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Consciousness

An Animation That Beautifully Explores ‘The War On Consciousness’

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Many feel there is a great effort to suppress human consciousness. Not just our will, but the exploration of who we truly are. This shows up in many ways, originating top-down from corporations to governments etc.

  • Reflect On:

    There is no actual 'war.' This is a state of perception. If we see it as war, we create fighting. Instead, let's simply evolve and expand our consciousness knowing we're more powerful than those who suppress. Spreading knowledge and living it is key.

The animation below is great and Graham Hancock’s message in it is also powerful, but I want to address something important quickly before we start, as what I’m about to say is a crucial part of the message we have been working so hard to convey here at CE since inception.

I get that ‘the war on consciousness’ is a figure of speech in the case of this talk, but with 10 years working in this field of journalism and consciousness, I do see many of us getting caught up in the idea that we have to fight and that there is a war to be won.

I see this as a state of consciousness that will keep us locked in a state of disconnection and loss of power.

Moving Beyond A Key Myth

One of the biggest myths that gets spread around this movement is that we must get angry to change the world. The truth is, some of us might get angry at first, and that’s totally fine! But we have to shift beyond the consciousness of being angry about our world before we can change it in any way that will TRULY cause change.

When we change things out of anger, spite, judgement or anxiety, we don’t create systems from the heart, this we will need to break them down again in a very short time. Not because we have evolved beyond them again, but because they are systems created from a polarized state of being. THIS is what we’re moving beyond in this shift.

Change Starts Within.

This is neutrality in action. This is how we evolve beyond what we see in our world.

What does it mean to evolve beyond it? It’s to be in a state of being and emotion where these events can no longer happen. When you assume you must fight for something, you are saying that there needs to be a fight, thus you are met with a fight. That emotion and idea comes from a disconnected state of consciousness where we can still create that experience.

If we as individuals evolve beyond the need for the fight, it would mean to be in a state of being where we do not need to see the fight. That comes from changing our view and perception of something.

Being present, being here now, and not identifying so strongly with the body, our identity, culture, skin color, struggle etc is powerful. We instead see and live in a state of being where we practice the knowing of our pure potential, living through the heart, collaborative oneness and true heart guidance.

Thus, to evolve beyond it is to change your state of being so that this type of reality no longer exists as it can’t be created from that new state of being. When we achieve this collectively, it no longer exists in our world.

Now that I got that out of the way, one last note is, Graham Hancock will speak of psychedelics in his talk. They have become incredibly trendy today, and while they can help people, research is suggesting this happens when done in specific ways and with specific intentions. Many are starting to put all their power into these plants as if it will do the work for them. They don’t, and won’t.

You can also achieve these exact same insights without the use of these plants. It’s important we maintain a grounded and realistic approach to these plants so they can be used with respect and for their intended purpose. We explore the purpose of psychedelics deeply in an episode of The Collective Evolution Podcast here.

 The ‘War’ On Consciousness

This animation was created by the talented team over at After Skool. You can check out their channel here.

Transcript

What is death? Our materialist science reduces everything to matter, materialist science in the West says that we are just meat, we’re just our bodies. So when the brain is dead, that’s the end of consciousness, there is no life after death, there is no soul; we just rot and are gone. Actually, many honest scientists should admit that consciousness is the greatest mystery of science and that we don’t know exactly how it works.

The brain is involved in it some way but we’re not sure how. It could be that the brain generates consciousness the way a generator makes electricity, if you hold to that paradigm, then, of course, you can’t believe in life after death, when the generator’s broken, consciousness is gone. But it’s equally possible that the relationship — and nothing in neuroscience rules it out – that the relationship is more like the relationship of the TV signal to the TV set, and in that case, when the TV set is broken, of course the TV signal continues. And this is the paradigm of all spiritual traditions, that we are immortal souls temporarily incarnated in these physical forms.

If we want to understand consciousness, the last people we should ask are materialist scientists. Instead, we should look at ancient cultures, like the Egyptians, who highly valued dream states. Many ancient cultures around the world used hallucinogenic plants to understand consciousness and expand their minds.

However, in today’s society, visionary plants are highly illegal because they promote a state of consciousness that does not agree with the agenda of profit. Substances, like coffee, alcohol, sugar and pharmaceuticals, are forced upon the population, but possession of even small quantities of cannabis, Ayahuasca or psilocybin will land you in jail. If we do not recognize the right of adult sovereignty over consciousness, then we can NOT claim to be free.

Look at what our moderns state of consciousness has done. We have destroyed the natural gifts of the earth in pursuit of short-term, selfish gain. We must reconnect with spirit immediately or else we will encounter disaster. Visionary plants could be the remedy for our current sickness.

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Consciousness

Smiling At Cashiers & Other Sparks Of Divinity

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    It is possible to have profound experiences in some of the most mundane encounters with others.

  • Reflect On:

    How would your life change if every interaction you had with other people was infused with the conviction that we are all one?

It’s one of the things I like to do, as the receipt is being put in my hand: offer a grateful ‘thank-you,’ and look in the cashier’s eyes for an extra split-second and smile, and see if they are ready to share a spark of divinity that crosses between our souls.

Sometimes they are, as happened to me recently at a ‘No Frills’ express lane. I looked at the girl as she handed me the bill, she looked at me, and then came the recognition in her eyes, in her smile, whether conscious or not, that we are connected, that we see each other, that we are grateful to be alive to have this kind of experience. Magic.

Sometimes the cashier is not ready, and my smile is met with a furtive glance, back to the next matter at hand, the next customer in line. No matter. No effort to connect is wasted. Some of the energy still gets through and gives the person a lift.

Sometimes it is me who is not ready, and the smile from the cashier awakens me into appreciation. Imagine, they are the ones working a long, tiring, repetitive job and they take a moment to wake ME up!

When the cashier is efficient, friendly, light, then my appreciation for what they are doing pours out into that moment. When the cashier is slow, tired, fed-up, it is not so easy for me. But at times, I am prepared to take the opportunity to help reconnect that person to the vitality of life. Have you ever eased a busy, ragged, overwhelmed cashier into a moment of divinity with a warm smile of empathy? Have you ever made a frowning, wrinkled face light up? Try it! This may be the best experience of them all.

Learned Practice

I’m just grateful to have found this practice. It did not come naturally to me. I was always shy, cautious, pensive, ‘in my head’. It was through years of watching a few trusted friends, seeing how they interacted easily and openly with strangers, that I started to try to adopt a new approach.

I had long been a student of philosophy and spirituality. But if the study of esoteric matters remains on the pages, in the words, in the concepts, simply a tool of the intellect to make one feel smart, evolved, superior, then the whole point is missed, not only about spiritual knowledge but about life itself.

At first, the practice for me was about trying to feel connected myself; it served to make me feel more comfortable in the world, especially around other people. As I continued to practice, and expand that practice into other situations, not just with strangers but with friends, loved ones, enemies, it really broadened and deepened my understanding of spiritual principles which I had previously fancied myself an expert in. Perhaps one of the most important realizations I’ve had through all this is that true knowledge is humbling. If one’s knowledge base serves to inflate one’s sense of self-importance in the world in comparison to other people, then it is not true knowledge.

The Unbearable Lightness Of Being

Our lives on this planet are fraught with difficult emotions: fear, sadness, anxiety, and many others. One of the great healing salves is to endeavor to demonstrate to others the knowledge that we are all one. Most likely, you have had this kind of experience in some situations in your life, like smiling at a cashier or hugging a loved one. The key to a great life is to work to expand this experience into all our interactions with people, to overcome the barriers of separation, not only in others but especially the ones within ourselves.

This is the task of the bringers of light. And whether we are conscious of it or not, we are all here to bring our light upon the darkness, and collectively transform our world into our shared vision of harmony.

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Consciousness

Expanding Reality Through Consciousness: A Fascinating Interview With A Neurosurgeon

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Joe recently sat down with Dr. Mario Beauregard for an in-depth discussion into consciousness, current events and how we can begin responding to the emerging desire for change.

  • Reflect On:

    What direction is our global society moving towards with regards to understanding the true nature of consciousness? Is a new consciousness emerging within us that no longer resonates with the 'old world?'

Mario Beauregard, PhD., is a neuroscientist currently affiliated with the Department of Psychology, University of Arizona. He has received a bachelor degree in psychology and a doctorate degree in neuroscience from the University of Montreal. He has also underwent postdoctoral fellowships at the University of Texas Medical School (Houston) and the Montreal Neurological Institute (MNI), McGill University.

Dr. Beauregard is the author of more than 100 publications (articles, essays, book chapters) in neuroscience, psychology, and psychiatry. He was the first neuroscientist to use neuroimaging to investigate the neural underpinnings of voluntary control in relation to emotion. Because of his research into the neuroscience of consciousness, he was selected (2000) by the World Media Net to be one of the “One Hundred Pioneers of the 21st Century.”

In the episode below, Collective Evolution founder Joe Martino and Dr. Beauregard sit down to discuss what transhumanism, AI, near death experiences and our current events have in common, which is consciousness. They all stem from what level of consciousness we are creating these things out of. Joe explores this topic with Dr. Beauregard in a recent episode of The Collective Evolution Show on CETV.

CETV is a platform we created to combat the tremendous amount of censorship and demonetization we have experienced and are currently experiencing. It’s our own platform, away from social media platforms like Facebook and it’s how we are able to continue doing what we do and keep Collective Evolution alive. If you’d like to become a member, start a free trial to check it out or simply support the work that we do, you can sign up HERE.

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