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Indoctrinated Feminism? Candace Owens Shares Why She Doesn’t Support Modern Day Feminism

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Candace Owens, a political activist explains why she doesn't support the current feminist movement. Furthermore, women's liberation of today may have some unexpected routes, starting with the CIA for ulterior political motives.

  • Reflect On:

    Are women being brainwashed and taught feminism instead of actually experiencing it? Is our perception being manipulated? Why were other women's liberation movements paid zero attention and shut down, and the CIA funded movement promoted?

Feminism is a movement that works towards creating equality between sexes and women’s rights. Though I fully support equality and all to have freedom and rights, I believe that aspects of this movement have created separation amongst us, stemming from over-identifying with gender.

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If we look at gender issues, particularly women’s issues, we’ve seen massive amounts of inequality throughout history. For example, look at all of our founding ‘fathers’ of science, quantum physics, engineering, psychology, etc. Gender inequality exists within every field of academia. Many ‘groundbreaking’ discoveries have been attributed to men, and solely to men. Many have been stolen from women, simply because they were women, and many discoveries made by women have gone completely unacknowledged by academia. The wage gap is another example of inequality, but more on that later.

One of my favourite examples women in history is Rachel Carson, a major player in the environmental movement today. Carson sparked the entire movement in the 1960s with her book Silent Spring. She is a writer, biologist, environmentalist and ecologist. The book documented the dangers of pesticides and herbicides, something that we are still trying to create awareness about today. I wrote an article a few years ago regarding ‘female revolutionaries’ you won’t hear about in history class if you’d like to see some more examples.

It is my hope that one day we will have a book that details all revolutionary minds, regardless of their gender, or even race.

Candace Owens On Feminism

That being said, I still believe there are some important points to consider when talking about gender issues. A viewpoint that really resonates with me is one from political activist Candace Owens, which she shared in an article on the Stamford Advocate. Owens explains:

My first outward rejection of the modern ideals of feminism occurred accidentally, during a mandatory women’s studies course in college. My professor had just gone over a staggering statistic that some 89 percent of people suffering with eating disorders were women. “This,” she explained, was “due to the unrealistic expectations placed upon us by the patriarchy.” “What then do you make of all the men that do steroids?” I surmised aloud, “… be it the fault of the matriarchy?”

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This is a great point, and it comes out of questioning the blame culture we have in our modern world. Candace’s question highlights the pressures society as a whole puts on both genders. Both have been given ‘identities’ within society, and both are subjected to sexism. For years, elitist groups and corporations have created narratives surrounding gender norms in order to capitalize on gender identification.

She then goes on to describe how it was the above mentioned exchange that sparked her thesis on why feminism is broken, and how women are being taught it rather than experiencing it.

Women are being taught it, rather than experiencing it. In fact, in many cases we are being encouraged to override our experiences in favour of indoctrination. At best, the movement denotes a selective musketeer mentality: it’s a pledge that a bad experience had by one ought to be broadcast and accepted as the reality for all, but a good experience had by one? Well, that woman ought to just shut up and keep it to herself. Yup. Let us hand a microphone to the woman who was beat by her husband, but muffle the one beside her who might wish to thank her own for the role he plays in her happiness.

I thought this was a very interesting point, and one that I can relate to. I myself am an ethnic minority, but have not directly experienced racism. Although I know my parents and many others have, I believe we’ve also come to expect this behavior from others, rather than observe it when it actually happens.

This behaviour, on both sides, comes from a narrative of separation that has become so ingrained within society that we sometimes perceive experiences as being racially motivated even when they may not be. Many women have also grown accustomed to distrusting men, feeling hatred toward men and acting from the same sexist mentality they feel inclined to fight against. Does this not simply reinforce hatred and inequality, and lack empathy as a whole? Does this separated behaviour in society not benefit our political overlord’s power? Separatism, gender and racial issues are frequent subjects within media, and although they deserve to be discussed, they are also overblown and hyped up for political purposes. More on that below.

Identity Politics

Promoting identity politics has always been a governmental tool, and as a result, the masses simply follow and become indoctrinated without ever questioning it. Identity politics has served, and continues to serve, many useful purposes for the elite. Mark Crispin, a professor of media studies from New York University, shares something many of us are not aware of:

It’s interesting to note that Ford and Rockefeller and the other foundations with strong CIA connections started giving grants in the early 70s to study race and gender. It was a sudden move towards identify politics by these organizations and the theory is that the reason they did this was to balkanize the left and to prevent it from pursuing any kind of a class or economic analysis (source)

He goes on to state how, rather than empowering a ‘class’ identity which supports unity, major academic institutions are instructed to promote the primacy of race and gender to ensure that the establishment’s agenda of ‘polarization’ is always fuelled.

New York University (NYU), one of the most prestigious and expensive institutions in the United States, likes to present itself as liberal and “diverse,” and as an “institution without walls.” Many of the school’s departments, including history, sociology or anthropology, count leading representatives of postmodernism and identity politics among their faculty, and the promotion of race and gender as having primacy over class is, in many ways, the official school ideology.

However, behind this surface of “diversity” lie extensive ties to big business, the Democratic Party and the military. As this series will demonstrate, NYU is now closely integrated into the preparations for war against both Russia and China, and, along with that, in the efforts of both the state and the major corporations to conduct mass surveillance and censor free speech on the Internet. (source)

Feminism As Social Engineering

It’s interesting to note the Ford and Rockefeller connections with regards to gender studies. It reminded me of an interview conducted with Aaron Russo, a well-known American entertainment businessman, film producer and director, and political activist. He’s best-known for producing movies such as Trading PlacesWise Guys, and The Rose.

In an interview, he explained a conversation he had with one of the members of the Rockefeller family. He stated how he was told that they (the Rockefeller’s) used the media they owned (and everything else) to create, fund and push the women’s liberation movement. Aaron expressed (to Rockefeller) how women have the right to work and get equal pay, no doubt, and this should be no different from men, just like they won the right to vote etc., but he was unaware of the intentions behind the movement.

The same forces that have suppressed women all of these years were responsible for supporting the liberation movement. How weird is that?

He explains how the women’s liberation movement was birthed because they realized they didn’t want to just tax half the population, they wanted all of them. The second reason was to indoctrinate people in regards to how they think. In this case, it was women, but just as equally, men had also been indoctrinated in their ways of thinking as well. This is something we still see today.

Russo expresses how, up until then, he thought the effort and movement was quite a noble thing, but when he saw the intentions behind the movement and the sudden big push it had received, he saw “the evil behind what he thought was a noble venture.”

The Rise Of Gloria Steinem

After this, Gloria Steinem became more popular. Steinem was known as a feminist, journalist, and social political activist, and was seen as the leader and spokeswoman for the American feminist movement in the late 1960s and early 1970s. However, there seems to be quite a bit of evidence suggesting that she worked for the CIA, spying on Marxist students in Europe and infiltrating their meetings.

She didn’t deny this, as an article from the New Yorker points out:

So what, exactly, was the N.S.A. useful for? This is where things get murky. According to Paget’s account, the N.S.A. was apparently not used for what the C.I.A. called “political warfare.” The agency did create a front organization called the Independent Research Service (inventing titles that are as meaningless as possible is part of the spy game) for the purpose of recruiting American students to disrupt Soviet-controlled World Youth Festivals in Vienna, in 1959, and Helsinki, in 1962. The person in charge was the future feminist Gloria Steinem, who knew perfectly well where the money was coming from and never regretted taking it. “If I had a choice I would do it again,” she later said.

Regarding the women’s liberation movement: (source)

Apparently, Steinem also tried to suppress information unearthed in the 70s by a radical feminist group called the Red Stockings. This group spoke up against Steinem, and the two were seen as the main women’s liberation movement leaders at the time. The Red Stockings seemed to be very upset with Steinem, questioning her motives and why she was receiving all of the funding from these intelligence agencies to push her version of the women’s liberation movement. (source)

Ms. magazine is what the Red Stockings seemed to be upset about, which was founded by Steinem. It represented a different kind of women’s liberation movement than all of the others at the time. Again, this was likely because of her intelligence agency connections and the motivations behind them. It’s the one that received the most attention and became the most popular.

 

Some of these women who were in the audience at the Red Stockings’ press conference asked why the Red Stockings did not give greater prominence to their political critique of Ms. (Steinem) than to to allegations that Steinem had worked for the CIA. Sarachild’s response (from Red Stockings) about that is that the Red Stockings is discussing liberalism in the women’s movement in its forthcoming journal, Feminist Revolution, but that they consider Ms. inauthentic. “Ms.’s liberalism is different from other’s liberalism, “she said. Her first feelings that something was wrong with Ms. came at a meeting in 1972 where women from Ms. were telling old NOW members how to organize. She said that although she disagreed with the NOW women on many issues, she almost cried at the condescension with which they were being treated. Sarachild does not believe that Red Stockings‘ challenge to Ms. can be adequately described as a struggle because “one faction has all the money and power.” (source)

Steinem tried to suppress this information unearthed in the 1970s by the Red Stockings. In 1979, Steinem and her powerful CIA-connected friends, Katharine Graham of the Washington Post and Ford Foundation President Franklin Thomas, prevented Random House from publishing it in Feminist Revolution. Nevertheless, the story appeared in the Village Voice on May 21, 1979.

How fascinating are all of these connections?

If Candace Owens was alive back then, she would probably have been part of the real feminist revolution, not the seemingly manufactured one that took over for ulterior motives and agendas. Although the feminist movement was one of importance at its time in history, it’s important to understand all motives behind it today.

It seems that this was the start of indoctrinated feminism, a tool that can be used to divide society.

Is Feminism Taught More Than It’s Experienced?

Owens preaches, as mentioned above, that feminism today isn’t experienced as much as it is taught.

I find it necessary to formally state that not once in my entire life was I made to feel incapable, or weak next to my male peers. Not once did a school teacher tell me that I ought to learn to cook and clean rather than to read and write, and for clarification, the eating disorder that I had in college had absolutely nothing to do with the urging of any man.

How many feminists out there have actually experienced discrimination because they are a female? How many simply believe they have because their minds were indoctrinated with this mindset in the first place? I’m not suggesting that we’ve achieved equality 100% of the way, nor am  I saying you shouldn’t speak up for someone who’s being discriminated against. It’s clear that gender inequality can still be seen in aspects of society today. However, we’re bombarded by reports on sexism and separatism on a daily basis by mainstream media, andit feels as though the hate and divide amongst men and women is widening regardless of how close the equality gap has become. Why?

It gets ickier: I happen to find it simply polite when a man opens a door for a woman and not once has the action sent me into analytical overdrive regarding what sort of monster would assume my incapability?! No, in fact I typically just say thank you. And I’m not sorry for any of this by the way, so if that somehow disqualifies me from sitting at the table of “real women,” I’ll learn to live with the losses. Happy women are growing tired of being silenced. I’ve got girlfriends who choose to stay at home to raise their children, and they are not prisoners; I know a few that voted against Hillary Clinton who are far from deplorable, and perhaps most shockingly of all, not one of these ladies feels victimized by the state of their own womanhood.

Asking them to disregard their content in favor of a movement, isn’t a movement, it’s an agenda, and a strikingly ironic one at that; it tells us women repeatedly that we must accept our status as the weaker sex, the very notion that it claims to reject. – Candace Owens

According to Owens, women are being targeted and bullied into a certain train of thought:

It is not my intention to laugh or offend. I am aware that in a culture where “being a victim” is the new black, such a bold proclamation of happiness might unintentionally create a glitch in the matrix. I am aware that if I seek to be on-trend, then I ought to grab onto my womanhood, or my African-American roots, or my absolutely-anything-at-all that might deem me an objectifiable minority. And then I’d cry boo-hoo and wait … for a hand-out, perhaps. Or a pat on the back, or a hashtag that would make it rain validation in the deep recesses of my heart. And then of course I would no longer have to be responsible for anything; Not my own lack of achievements, not my today, and certainly not my tomorrow because I could blame it all on my unfortunate status as a victim. It’s just they couldn’t program me to think like this, and for that, I am of no use to feminism.

This narrative reminded me of a post I saw floating around on social media, shared below. This is where the conversation of emotional intelligence and dropping our identities comes into play.  Are we addicted to drama, conflict, and disagreement? When what we learn causes our belief systems to collapse, do we hang onto them anyways? Do we get stuck trying to hold onto them because we identify with them? Sometimes it’s not easy to let go of our political identities, the sides we choose, and even the division created by over-identifying with race, religion and culture. But at some point, if we want change, we have to learn to let go of these narratives and start looking at truth. Think back to a moment where you had to let go of a belief. How did you do it? Was it so bad once you did? Where might you be stuck today if you hadn’t let go of it? Is what you are stuck on or fighting for truly making you happy or making your life better?

Related CE Article: Why We’re Systematically Trained To Be Offended By Everything

Feminism in Light of the Western World

I feel we are stretching the gender a little too much, as far as I’m concerned, whether someone is a man or a woman is not even my concern. What somebody’s got in their pants what’s my business about it? These things are relevant only in bathrooms and bedrooms. This should not be relevant anywhere else. Because, you must understand, too much identification with gender essentially means you’re identifying with your body parts. If you must identify with your body parts, if that’s the only way you can live, why choose reproductive organs? At least choose the brains! Why are we constantly thinking who is a man, who is a woman? This is a fetish. Why are you even bothered? Only for certain relationships it matters, the rest of the time, why does it matter? I’m asking, we are making too much out of it, by this both genders will suffer.

These words come from Sadhguru, which I also found very interesting. He goes on to explain.

Yes, unfortunately, there have been long periods of exploitation of women across the world and even in this country, but you must understand there was a time when, in this country, women were not exploited by any means. They lived fabulous lives, you just look back and see. Do you see, for example, you see, of lets say Ramayana, Mahabharata (Hindu texts) whatever you have, do you see women going around on whales? Do you see women hiding? No, the queen sat on the kings lap in public. So, this was not a culture like that but you must understand we have faced a little over a thousand years of innovations. When innovations happen, they not only go for your gold, they also go for your wives and your daughters first. So, putting them behind, hiding them somewhere, among sacks of grain, became a normal thing. So when thousands of years of continuous innovations happen the risk of keeping your woman out became a very wrong thing to do, so unfortunately they’re still continuing. I think we’ll break through in the next coming generation, I think we are already breaking through in a big way but we must understand that we are only the second generation after independence, so don’t be in too much of a rush and make this one species into two.

Unfortunately, in reaction to the past exploitations, we are trying to create two species. It’s very important the changes we make in our society are not in reaction to the wrong things that happened in the past.

This is another great point that echoes Owens’ point made above.

It’s important to mention that some feminists may react to the queen/king comment above, implying that the role of a king and a queen sitting on his lap renders the queen inferior. Success and happiness are not measured by the amount of money we make. This brings me to one of Sadhguru’s main points about modern day feminism: It’s driven by economics.

And no, this does not mean there should not be equality in pay. Obviously, there should be total equality when it comes to pay.

But throughout history, men and women have had different roles, none represent something better, and both were equally as strong. In fact, every human being has masculine and feminine energies within them, we are two halves that make a whole. One no better than the other. But if we only focus on money when discussing gender inequality, we will always live in a masculine dominated world, “not male, but masculine” (Sadhguru). The feminine qualities will disappear if we continue to look at this from an economics perspective, as females will also strive for what is ‘masculine.’

Suppose a man here feels like having a baby, can he have? So whatever, we can complain we don’t have equal opportunity. Biologically we’re designed to fulfil different aspects of nature. Why is one thing superior and another thing inferior? Simply because you are making economic activity as the ultimate activity, this is the only problem. The fundamental problem is you are making economic activity the greatest thing you can do. Just making money is the most successful thing you can do in life? Valuing people only for the money that they earn, you will make the entire world into your market place. 

The Takeaway

Personally, I’m not sure how many gender issues truly exist today, and how many examples of inequality are present.  Let’s take the wage gap, for example. The average woman’s pay is approximately 80 percent of that of a man’s. Is this because they are women and are not given equal hiring opportunities? Or is it because men are more attracted to higher paying jobs, like the role of a CEO? Then again, many of these statistics only take into account white women, and so the gender wage gap is significantly higher within many minority groups. There are so many more factors at play here than what we are shown.

The bottom line on statistics is we must look at a multifactored analysis behind the questions we have, and not simply blame it on one aspect like gender. Many, many things go into understanding why things are the way they are today. This is precisely why many people are exceptions to statistics, because it is never about ONE factor.

Society often frowns upon the traditional image of women being in the home, taking care of children and being nurturing. We implied that this was somehow inferior to working outside the home, when really it’s equally as important as any other job, if not more. And it’s not just a woman’s job. Many men are shamed for wanting to stay home and look after their children, as societal norms encourage men to provide for their families in a more ‘traditional’ sense.

So, I encourage you to ask yourselves: What’s really going on here with modern day feminism? I ask all women of my generation reading this: Have you ever experienced discrimination simply because you’re a woman? If so, how often?

To reiterate, it’s quite clear that there are issues we still must address as a society, but in order to solve them don’t we need to truly understand them? We also should consider that we are approaching these subjects from a place of love, and not anger or hate. Otherwise, this will only create more separatism and further sexism. 

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Consciousness

Parables For The New Conversation (Chapter 13: The Marriage)

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The following is a chapter from my book ‘Parables For The New Conversation.’ One chapter will be published every Sunday for 36 weeks here on Collective Evolution. (I would recommend you start with Chapter 1 if you haven’t already read it.) I hope my words are a source of enjoyment and inspiration for you, the reader. If perchance you would like to purchase a signed paperback copy of the book, you can do so on my production company website Pandora’s Box Office.

From the back cover: “Imagine a conversation that centers around possibility—the possibility that we can be more accepting of our own judgments, that we can find unity through our diversity, that we can shed the light of our love on the things we fear most. Imagine a conversation where our greatest polarities are coming together, a meeting place of East and West, of spirituality and materialism, of religion and science, where the stage is being set for a collective leap in consciousness more magnificent than any we have known in our history.

Now imagine that this conversation honors your uniqueness and frees you to speak from your heart, helping you to navigate your way more deliberately along your distinct path. Imagine that this conversation puts you squarely into the seat of creator—of your fortunes, your relationships, your life—thereby putting the fulfillment of your deepest personal desires well within your grasp.

‘Parables for the New Conversation’ is a spellbinding odyssey through metaphor and prose, personal sagas and historic events, where together author and reader explore the proposal that at its most profound level, life is about learning to consciously manifest the experiences we desire–and thus having fun. The conversation touches on many diverse themes but always circles back to who we are and how our purposes are intertwined, for it is only when we see that our personal desires are perfectly aligned with the destiny of humanity as a whole that we will give ourselves full permission to enjoy the most exquisite experiences life has to offer.”

13. The Marriage

On the patio of the village restaurant on the island of Allandon, the restaurant chef and the village florist sat uncomfortably on a hot afternoon waiting for their children to arrive. The daughter of the florist was to marry the son of the chef, and the two women, who had not met previously, both felt it was important to all get together to set the wedding arrangements in motion.

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“Where are those two?” asked the florist.

“No sense of responsibility, their generation,” said the chef.

After a few more minutes of uncomfortable silence, the chef said, “Well, let me be the first to welcome you into our family.”

“No, no, it is I who welcome you into our family,” replied the florist.

They gazed out towards the East Beach and still saw no signs of their children.

“Well, perhaps we might start,” said the florist.

“Yes, we should,” replied the chef.

“I will be happy to help you select an appropriate gift for your son to give me,” said the florist.

“Gift?” asked the chef.

“Yes, during the ceremony the groom is joined with the bride after his gift to her mother is accepted,” the florist said.

“You mean the groom is joined with the bride after her father walks her down the aisle and gives her away,” quipped the chef.   “There is no aisle,” said the florist. “It is more of an open space, so there is room for the drummers—and the chickens.”

“Chickens?” the chef responded. “Do you think this is a wedding or a circus?”

Just then the chef’s son plopped down on an empty chair beside them, surfboard in hand and wearing only a bathing suit. “The circus sounds fun,” he said.

“You’re wet!” said the chef.

“And you’re late,” said the florist.

“I know,” said the florist’s daughter, who leaned her surfboard against the wall. “The ocean was so perfect, it just kept pulling us back in.”

“Be serious,” said the chef. “We are having some problems with the wedding arrangements.”

“How can there be problems?” asked the boy laughing. “You cook the meal and she’ll arrange the flowers.”

“No, the ceremony,” the chef said. “She is saying it should be outside with loud noises and wild animals…”

“You are talking about our tradition!” replied the florist. “And it’s better than being cooped up inside watching a stiff procession.”

“Our ceremony is sacred, and it respects the seriousness of the event.”

“We feel a marriage should be a celebration.”

“I agree—a celebration, not a farce,” said the chef.

The florist took a deep breath, not wanting to cause a scene. She turned to her daughter. “See then, you need to make a decision now. Arrangements have to be made.”

“Yes.”

“So are you going to do it our way or her way?”

“Yes,” the girl said with a smile.

“What?” asked the florist.

“Yes,” the boy repeated. “Our answer is ‘yes’.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” asked the chef.

“We trust you can figure it out,” said the boy. And with that, they took up their surfboards and trotted back towards the beach.

In our world of duality, opposition would seem unavoidable. We have noted that it is the perpetual opposition of yin and yang that keeps our world and our lives in motion. However as we become more aware that we are beings that can choose to come from a place of unity, our Dao Self, rather than a place of duality, our Ego Self, we create the possibility for dealing with opposition as an occasion for fostering harmony rather than as a reason for conflict.

In the new conversation there is a subtle shift away from the need to stand firmly on one particular side of an issue. While converse can mean opposite, conversing does not have to imply opposing. When presented with a choice between opposing ideas it becomes possible to say yes—not to one or the other choice, but to choice itself. In celebrating together the very fact that we have choice, we honor our differences. The prospects of this awareness are exciting. Once it is grasped by a critical mass of people, it will suddenly become unthinkable to engage in a serious fight about anything on the planet.

But first, we have to work through some long-standing habits of thought that our ancestors left us with. We are still in a place where having differences continues to have negative connotations, because we continue to believe who we are is grounded in those differences. For example, if our identity is mainly tied to the particular culture, nation, race or creed we belong to, we are already setting up barriers to the possibility of dissimilar people and groups coming together as one.

Historically, tribal groups brought people together into a view of the world that established rules and values for all the individuals of their group to follow. These tribes tended to be very protective of the values that distinguished them from others because it was thought to ensure their survival. Nietzsche said it this way:

No people could live without evaluating; but if it wishes to maintain itself it must not evaluate as its neighbor evaluates. Much that seemed good to one people seemed shame and disgrace to another: thus I found. I found much that was called evil in one place was in another decked with purple honors. One neighbor never understood another: his soul was always amazed at his neighbor’s madness and wickedness.

Now there is much to be said about the beauty and magnificence of human collectives such as cultures, races, or religions that are bound together by common values and a shared way of thinking. They represent a form of fulfillment of our most basic desire as human beings—the desire for unity, the desire to be part of something larger than our individual selves. But while cultures may have become strong and able to maintain themselves based on the values they adopted, there was often an inbred tendency to hold all other ways of experiencing the world as wrong. To actually give credence to the value system of an adversary was a most dangerous and self-defeating strategy. It demonstrated weakness, and was a threat to a people’s survival and proliferation. To some, protecting their collective identity even meant promoting their views and traditions beyond their boundaries. In the process, instead of exchanging divergent ideas and practices with others in the pursuit of higher knowledge and mutual understanding, people exchange swords on the bloody battlegrounds of war, with the objective of establishing one set of beliefs as ‘right’ and the other as ‘wrong’.

In recent times there has been a shift in the manner in which cultures interact. Modern transportation has facilitated travel and immigration as never before. Living in modern cosmopolitan cities exposes us to many of the world’s cultures in everyday life. If nothing else, this exposure forces us to acknowledge that there are many habits, customs, and lifestyles that are different from our own. As well, technological advances such as the Internet and an increasingly mutually-dependant world economy has amplified cross-cultural communications exponentially. The man-made walls around cultures and nations have never been more porous. And as the nations of our world are compelled to pull open their curtains and face each other, tolerance for diverse ideas and perspectives on how to live is the rule of the day. In other words, tolerance has become an economic necessity.

The allure of a tolerant world is that it provides the perception that all ways of life are respected, and that matters of difference will be resolved peacefully and without blame or judgment. In reality this is not the case. A show of tolerance is often done more for convenience and prudence rather than as a true recognition of the potential value of another culture’s ideas and values.

During my time in Korea I discovered some of the limits of the mind-set of tolerance. Now first, understand that I had always considered myself wonderfully tolerant of other cultures. While I had not adopted all the ways of Korean culture during my three plus years living there, I never considered them to be wrong or inferior to my own ways. I enjoyed Korean food and learned to be quite proficient with chopsticks. I had picked up enough of the Korean language to live and get around. I even started to realize that certain behaviors, ones that would have been considered ‘rude’ in my own culture, were perfectly natural in the context of Korean life, and I could adjust my reactions accordingly. And so when I happened to fall in love with a Korean girl and eventually asked her to marry me, I was doing so with no fear of experiencing the proverbial ‘culture shock’ often associated with such unions since I felt I had already embraced her culture. In fact I was the one who pushed for a traditional Korean wedding ceremony.

My wife-to-be Hyun and I planned to pay for the wedding ourselves. She suggested that her parents were not in a financial position to pay for the wedding, and to her delight I was in full agreement. As we were discussing the guest list, she informed me that all the friends of her parents whose children’s weddings they had gone to had to be invited. Although I didn’t really like the idea, I went along with it when I heard that they would all be giving substantial amounts of money as gifts. Later on, as I was adding up the costs for the wedding, I asked her how much money we could expect to get from these friends of her parents. She looked at me a bit strange. “None,” she said, “all that money is going to my mother.”

“Excuse me?” I asked, incredulous. I figured I must have misunderstood something. She repeated what she had said. I must have asked her five times to make sure I got the story right before finally exploding into a rage.

“How could that money be going to your mother? It’s our wedding! It’s our gifts! It’s for us! We’re even paying for the wedding! That’s ridiculous! That’s the most selfish thing I’ve ever heard of!”

Hyun was fully taken aback by my outburst, and was in tears for over an hour. When she finally mustered the strength to respond, she came out angrily: “She had to pay out money at all their weddings! It’s normal. It’s the only way she can get that money back. It’s her money!”

In Korea, money is traditionally distributed up through the family, usually the mother, and redistributed down to the children. It’s a complex system that ties in with family real estate, in a way that protects its members and helps them make prudent decisions. I had heard about this, but never gave it much attention. The idea never bothered me because I was never affected by it. But now that it was affecting me, I was angry about it. All I could think of was that I was paying for a stranger’s meal so he could put some money in my mother-in-law’s pocket. My anger was an indictment not only against Hyun’s mother, but also against the whole culture in general for having what I suddenly felt was a ludicrous system.

But it really wasn’t. It was just different, and totally self-consistent. Hyun’s parents had always been honest and very generous with me. The last thing they would want to do is take money that they didn’t think belonged to them. Hyun’s parents worked hard and scraped by to help Hyun and her brother and sister get through university. In contrast, my brother, sister and I all paid our own way through university. This was not because our parents loved us any less. Our culture tends to put a high value on independence and fosters autonomous separate family units, while Koreans put more emphasis on interdependence and keeping family ties strong. If I was to be married to someone of a different culture, I suddenly realized more was needed from me than mere tolerance.

Tolerance still maintains the notion that ours is the ‘right’ way and theirs is the ‘wrong’ way. This polarity lays in wait, potentially manifesting as violent opposition when triggered by circumstance. Without a real desire to actively delve into the way others see the world, and be challenged by these different views in ways that matter to us, it might be difficult to fully come to grips with our own ethnocentricity. Today I feel very fortunate to be married to someone of a different culture. I am reminded in the daily events of our relationship that simple tolerance is not enough to heal the conflicts and misunderstandings that arise in a way that generates true harmony.

It is striving for what I call true acceptance, not simple tolerance that opens the door to overcoming the opposition that leads to conflict. Through acceptance we entertain the possibility that our own way of thinking may need to come under scrutiny from time to time, and that perhaps the other person’s way of thinking is right. And in its purest form acceptance even goes beyond that, to the most subtle and uplifting precept of them all: that all ideas have value, that it is not a question of right and wrong, but simply a matter of perspective. Here, the ideas that make us different are no longer obstacles but opportunities, to learn, to grow, to come to a greater awareness of what our lives are really about. In my marriage, striving for this kind of acceptance for my wife and her culture has not only meant greater harmony but also a fuller, richer appreciation for the diversity that exists around me.

Humanity as a whole suffers when groups of people remain too attached to their own collective identity and world-view. It seems a not-so-divine comedy that the history of humanity has been marked by an inability to embrace our cultural and racial differences, one of our greatest gifts to one another. This inability is at the core of the racism and discrimination that is still active in the world.

In his speech on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in 1963, Martin Luther King spoke of emancipation from the slavery of outmoded ideas. He spoke of a day that would see the Negro, as he called his own, liberated from oppression and racial injustice. But even beyond a vision for his own people, his dream had universal significance. He sought to advance the truths that the Declaration of Independence, written almost two hundred years earlier, had deemed self-evident: that all men (and women) are created equal. He dared to speak of a day in the future where different races and creeds would walk side by side, beyond the clutches of discrimination, and “all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: ‘Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!’ “

His speech remains one of the most dramatic appeals for all of us to liberate ourselves from our deeply rooted habit of judging one another. And this appeal has been taken up by the new conversation. The new conversation is not about changing the words we use while leaving the beliefs intact. Certainly words are powerful, and to some extent they are transformative, but simply being proficient in politically correct terminology is not enough. While some of us pride ourselves on our ability to suppress judgment from our world and hide it from ourselves, this does not bring about healing. It only puts off confrontation until another day. If judgment and discrimination are still our inner guiding principles, the damage will eventually manifest.

At the same time the new conversation is not designed to censor judgment and discrimination. If a racial slur is someone’s deepest truth, we are better to allow its expression than to suppress it. If we really want to be helpful, we will do best not to judge the person for saying it. In this way we are helping the person get an unimpeded look at themselves. When they are ready to learn from it they will.

I have personally found this to be one of the most challenging aspects of the new conversation. I don’t want to condone discrimination, but at the same time I don’t want to be judgmental. I’m not always sure if simply being silent is enough, but I do know that it would be inauthentic for me to go along with the joke (i.e., smiling or nodding when asked, “You know how those people are, eh?”) Certainly if I am directly asked what I think, it is incumbent upon me to take the risk and speak out from my heart. But if I am not asked then I realize I need to muster some compassion for where the other person is coming from. It’s a bit of a high wire act, and I have needed lots of practice to learn to balance myself.

In the new conversation we are asked to walk this thin line because we have seen that discrimination cannot be healed by confrontation, and have learned that judgment can only melt away in a larger space of acceptance. If we are going to come together in any profound way, we all need a space to expose our whole selves. That means our light and our darkness. Let’s face it: none of us are completely free of judgment. And if we accept this, it helps us to be easier on each other, and more importantly on ourselves. After all, the ability to listen and speak with acceptance comes from self-acceptance which, paradoxically, is cultivated when we feel accepted by others. At stake in this is our shared longing to fully express our unique selves, and the hope that our diversity can lead us to experience our most sublime sense of unity.

Today, there are signs that we have gotten closer to Dr. King’s lofty vision. True, the world as a whole does not yet value acceptance as the highest attribute of discourse. In some parts it remains forbidden to access or speak about ideas different from the accepted norms of the nation or culture. Wars based on ideology continue to be fought because we continue to fear that accepting those whose ideas are different from ours will threaten our survival. But despite all appearances, I believe our world is evolving from a scattered collection of bordered nations into a harmonious global village. One day we will all be free. The nature of our consciousness, like the universe, is to expand. And while we are going through some growing pains today, no longer certain about what is right and wrong, about how our differences can all fit in together, there will be no turning back. We have become alienated from the identities we were born into, and we are getting too smart to label ourselves by the founding ideas of our cultures. The Pandora’s box has opened and the conversation has begun. And the more we talk, the more we will enjoy the fact that each of us seems to see things a little differently, no longer satisfied with being pushed back into a box that has become too restrictive to contain us.

As we endeavor to become fully human, to actualize ourselves, we get a glimpse of the importance of being informed by the distinct character and nature of all human beings, not just those who think the way we do. We are gaining the courage to question our deep-seated beliefs that there is only one view of the world, and only one meaning to life. The slowly emerging consensus is that the seemingly disparate ways of seeing the world and giving meaning to life are all dazzling colors that together form the mosaic that encompasses the human experience.

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Consciousness

The Power of Human Emotions & How Schools Are Failing To Teach Children How To Deal With Them

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Human emotions effect our physiology, state of mind as well as others around us. Modern day education does not teach children about the importance of emotion and how to regulate and deal with it.

  • Reflect On:

    How are children supposed to be mentally 'fit' as adults if they are not taught how to deal with the various emotions they experience throughout childhood?

What exactly is education? Today, many view it as an opportunity to learn, thrive, and excel in the world. Others see it as a necessary step toward obtaining a piece of paper that ensures one’s entrance into the professional world. Regardless of your take on it, however, one thing is certain: From a very early age we are forced into a system that demands our presence and attention for hours a day and for years of our life. Each child is required to learn an accepted version of reality in order to fit into the specific mould desired by the elite. Just like television, a large part of school is simply programming, and we don’t really learn much about the world — or ourselves.

Perhaps this is why Mark Twain said, “I have never let me education interfere with my intelligence,” or why Einstein told the world to “never confuse education with intelligence,” and that “education is what remains after one has forgotten one has learned in school.” 

School these days seems less about learning and more about rote memorization. Are we critically thinking enough, or questioning enough? Or are we simply being bred to become robots, all of us entering into the same human experience, “educating” ourselves in order to further perpetuate a broken system? We learn concepts and ideas that fit within the current paradigm and structure of society, but not about how to care for ourselves and become well-adjusted adults. Are we really being educated? Or simply groomed to become ‘good’ consumers?

“I don’t want a nation of thinkers, I want a nation of workers.”

– John D. Rockefeller

Another problem with the current education model, as pointed out by world renowned education and creativity expert Sir Ken Robinson, is that it was designed and conceived for a different age. Today, new information and discoveries are constantly emerging in all fields, questioning what we once thought we knew, and that includes how people learn. Unfortunately, unless you have an amazing teacher who is passionate about our world and new information, children suffer in this system.

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In fact, prior to the late 1800s, education was a private practice that took place in private institutions or through home schooling. That all changed in 1902 when John D. Rockefeller created the General Education Board in conjunction with Frederick T. Gates, a close friend and business and personal advisor. The General Education Board was responsible for funding the American public school system, and provided over 100 million dollars in 1902 while continuing their support beyond 1902. If we follow the money, it becomes clear the general education board was responsible for the creation of the American public school system. Does education not play a large role in manipulating the consciousness of human beings?

“Knowledge has to come from somewhere, and that can’t be a classroom.”

Edward Snowden

Emotions in School

School is an experience primarily comprised of learning information — rarely questioning it, but rather taking it in as fact. While we learn about many subjects, very few of them have any real impact on our lives. There are absolutely no classes dealing with human emotions, for instance.

According to sociologist Thomas Scheff, a big supporter of emotional education from the University of California, many Western societies simply view emotions as an indulgence or a distraction, and less important than other things. And he’s right — we are often taught to bury our emotions so we can be more productive, and we are made to feel as though our emotions are not as relevant or important; they always seem to come secondary, if at all, especially within an educational setting. Scheff, among many others, believes that emotions provide valuable information, and yet we are taught not to listen to them. “Just as dangerous,” Scheff said, “is the practice of hiding one emotion behind another.” He has found that “men, in particular, tend to hide feelings of shame under anger, aggression and, far too often, violence.”

Many of the issues and problems that arise in our lives stem from the fact that we really have no idea how to process or address our emotions. As a result of this lack in our education, a child who has not paid any attention to their emotional body develops bad habits and behaviours to compensate, until they learn how to properly process their emotions, if they ever do.

How Do We Go About Doing This?

The good thing about teaching emotions is, they can be implemented into any class and any grade. For example, if you were trying to teach emotions in a class with a number of kids who are about to graduate high school, a great starting point might be to illustrate just how much of an effect emotions can have, not just on a mental level, where unresolved emotions lead to negative action, but on a physical level as well.  The Institute of Noetic Sciences is doing some great work in this area, creating more awareness about non-material science and how our thoughts/emotions have an observable effect on physical material reality. The mind-body connection is truly powerful, and we should be teaching people how to harness that power.

An internationally recognized nonprofit research and education organization, the Institute of HeartMath dedicates itself to helping people reduce stress, self-regulate emotions, and build energy and resilience for healthy, happy lives. HeartMath tools, technology, and training teach people to rely on the intelligence of their hearts in concert with that of their minds at home, school, work, and play. They’ve discovered that emotional information is “actually coded and modulated” into the magnetic field that surrounds all living things.

As HeartMath Director of Research Dr. Rolin McCratey tells us, “By learning to shift our emotions, we are changing the information coded into the magnetic fields that are radiated by the heart, and that can impact those around us. We are fundamentally and deeply connected with each other and the planet itself.”

All of these facts, published researched papers, and more can be accessed at heartmath.org.

Related CE Article: What Science is Telling us About The Heart’s Intuitive Intelligence

One the most popular programs to begin teaching emotions was developed in 2005 by Marc Brackett, David Caruso, and Robin Stern of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence.

It’s called RULER.

“The Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence uses the power of emotions to create a more effective and compassionate society. The Center conducts research and teaches people of all ages how to develop their emotional intelligence.” 

It’s currently being used in more than 1,000 schools in the U.S., implemented for grades k-8.

The name, RULER, is an acronym for its five goals: recognizing emotions in oneself and others; understanding the causes and consequences of emotions; labelling emotional experiences with an accurate and diverse vocabulary; and expressing and regulating emotions in ways that promote growth.

What Exactly Are the Kids Taught? 

RULER teachers kids to to focus on the underlying theme of an emotion they are experiencing rather than wasting energy trying to define it precisely. Grace Rubenstein from Ted.Ideas reports:

When an emotion grips you, explains Stern, understanding its thematic contours can help “name it to tame it.” Even though anger is experienced differently by different people, she explains, “the theme underlying anger is the same. It’s injustice or unfairness. The theme that underlies disappointment is an unmet expectation. The theme that underlies frustration is feeling blocked on your way to a goal. Pinning down the theme can “help a person be seen and understood and met where she is,” says Stern.

Just taking the time to contemplate an emotion when you feel it, and think about why it might be arising, is critical for emotional health. Typing these words here and now, I still find it unbelievable that we have chosen not to deal with such an important aspect of what it means to be a human being. Emotions are something all of us experience, yet we have no guidelines or advice on what we’re supposed to do with them.

Rubenstein offers an example of how RULER functions in the classroom:

RULER’s lessons are woven into all classes and subjects. So, for example, if “elated’ is the emotional vocabulary word under discussion, a teacher would ask students in an American history class to link “elated” to the voyage of Lewis and Clark. Instruction reaches beyond the classroom, too; kids are prompted to talk with their parents or caregivers about when they last felt elated. Researchers at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence has found RULER schools tend to see less-frequent bullying, lower anxiety and depression, more student leadership and higher grades. So why isn’t emotional education the norm rather than the exception?

Emotions are something all of us experience, all the time, every single day. They can be confusing, and hard to navigate, especially when they’re negative. By including emotional education into the school system, I believe future generations would be far less depressed, angry, and confused. They would be better equipped to handle difficult situations in their lives, and find it much easier to express their feelings in a healthy, productive way.

There’s still a long way to go when it comes to understanding human emotions, and how to teach/discuss them in the classroom at different grade levels, but RULER is an amazing step in the right direction and I hope we see more programs like this being developed in the future.

 

 

 

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Consciousness

Mercury Retrograde Is Sick Of Being Blamed For Your Problems

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In Brief

  • The Facts:

    Poor Mercury retrograde, it gets blamed for so many of the problems that people feel come up during the cycle. But the truth is, what gets triggered in us is no one's 'fault' but our own.

  • Reflect On:

    Is it better to look outward for why we feel a specific way? Or to perhaps look inwards and explore what may be triggering us within?

This isn’t meant to offend anyone, it’s simply here to spark a meaningful reflection. I have long said this, as we do have astrology content posted on CE a couple times per month–astrology can help you with reflections, but it is not meant to be a crutch or meant to explain away your challenges as something you don’t have to take any responsibility for or action on.

Think about it. You wake up late, you speak poorly to someone, someone speaks poorly to you, you have a bad day, something doesn’t go right… in these moments people will become wonky, triggered or upset. Then, they may blame Mercury retrograde, or maybe the full moon, or maybe something else for why they are feeling this way. And while there can be truth to cosmic cycles having an impact on humanity’s consciousness, this doesn’t explain how we react. It’s also true that as we deal with that which triggers us, these energies don’t affect us in the same way any longer. I covered this in significant detail in my favorite documentary I’ve made called CE3: The Shift, which you can watch on CETV here.

Things happen in our lives, someone says something, we see something, or something occurs in our day, if we have a trigger within us that gets struck by these events, that external event is merely acting as a mirror for you to reflect on that particular trigger you have. We often feel that “someone else’s” or “something else’s” stuff or energy is always imposing on us and making us feel bad and thus there is nothing we can do, except of course just wait for the Mercury retrograde cycle to end or block the person that is triggering us.

But let’s think for a moment, is blaming how we feel on Mercury Retrograde, any other astrological cycle, or someone else really going to get us to a point where we are empowered and have moved past the habits, patterns, beliefs and limiting blocks we have in our lives? Or might we be better off seeing what might be coming up in our lives in a given moment, writing it out, taking some time to reflect on how we truly feel about it and seeing what changes we can make? After all, don’t we sometimes use beliefs about something to explain why we feel a certain way? Is it really true that we never have ‘problems’ outside of these cycles or triggers?

Image of a cute animal, appearing sad, with text over top to help prove my point.

The truth is, social media is rife with posts about “no bad vibes allowed,” “cut out anyone who is not right for you,” or posts blaming astrological cycles for everything we feel. There is this ‘pop spirituality’ culture of seeming spiritual in our lifestyle as a trend, but perhaps not truly living authentically to the teachings or reflections we’re trying to represent. This often keeps people remaining as a victim and in blame mode when it comes to what gets triggered within us. In many ways, we’d rather run away from or block the things that bother us than face them head on and ask, “why does this bother me to begin with?”

A great summation of the pop culture I’m referring to.

Sure, that’s not always a comfortable question, and no I’m not saying simply let an ‘abuser’ continue to abuse without getting out of the way, I’m simply saying there is a difference between an abuser and someone who has a different opinion than us that we can’t seem to handle and triggers our emotional state. What better definition of slavery is there than to be allowing other people to control our emotional state and send us off into rollercoasters because we don’t want to focus on asking why we are so bothered by something?

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The truth is, if we block that person or run from that person, we will be met with someone else who will once again trigger that same pattern in us because on a deeper level, don’t we want to be free? Doesn’t it make sense for that trigger to be struck once again so we can deal with it this time?

The point here is in self responsibility and taking action on being different. Perhaps many of the challenges we experience during something like Mercury retrograde are actually always there, we just pay closer attention to them during this time because we’re clearer on who to blame for it.

Accidents happen.
Computers break.
People forget things.
We feel emotional.
And people can be mean or inappropriate.

… regardless of Mercury retrograde or any other cycle.

The only questions we really have to ask ourselves are: what life do we wish to live, and what state of being do we wish to be in? One where we are empowered and working through patterns that hold us back or create unnecessary suffering? Or one where we sit back, point to external cycles as a reason for why we feel the way we do, only to repeat that cycle once again shortly thereafter?

The Takeaway

Personally, things can sometimes come up in my life as a challenge, whether it’s Mercury retrograde or not. Do I have more during Mercury retrograde? I can’t honestly say that’s true. What I can say is that if I’m struggling with something in particular and not making the time to address it, I can come up with all sorts of reasons as to why I feel the way I do and why things happen, most of which all point outwards.

But I know deep down that it’s me that can do the work to free myself, and so I’ve always been one to swiftly do the inner work instead of waiting around and making excuses or blaming outside forces.

If something triggers how you feel during the next Mercury retrograde, or anytime for that matter, set 30 undistracted minutes aside for yourself and write out how you are feeling and why. Push yourself to go deep and ask yourself the tough questions. What is truly bothering me about this? What belief system is being triggered? Did someone really do something wrong to me? Who says it’s wrong? Can I put myself in their shoes and understand their position? Am I repeating a pattern of negative self talk or self-imposed limitations? What stories am I telling myself?

Do this, and the next thing you know the worst thing that may happen during a Mercury retrograde is you may have to restart your computer–if you even notice Mercury retrograde at all.

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